Sister forum[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sat Jun 07, 2014 1:46 pm
I don't think that they'd have condoned the attack; I'd expect them to be very offended by Equestria blaming them for it.SilentCarto wrote:As I understand it, the latter is the case. A mist-cloaked Zebra operative was escorting his family in the convoy. When they were killed by Littlehorn's automated defenses, he used his skills to infiltrate the academy and set off something like a Pink Cloud grenade or satchel charge in revenge. (I assume the gas bomb itself was a preexisting Zebra weapon used to wipe out monster hives.) He was at that point acting as a rogue agent, but the government seems to have condoned the attack and taken the actions of the automated defenses as deliberate on the ponies' part.O. Hinds wrote:I have the Cloud bomb as probably (there's a slight chance that this was done by the closest equivalents my headcanon has to the Starkatteri) being smuggled by an Equestrian sympathizer who'd obtained it with great difficulty and was planning to defect with their family, offering the bomb as a gift. Then the shooting started, and either the bomb was set off by accident or the would-be defector thought "Hm, the people I was trying to betray my homeland for have just shot and killed my defenseless spouse and children. If only I had not believed pony lies… Well, there's still one weapon I have!" or something to that effect.
Oh, so I actually got this part from FoE.SilentCarto wrote:That's my point -- they didn't. The attack on Littlehorn was an immediate response by a zebra agent who was already with his family in the convoy. The government was not involved.Vinylshadow wrote:Why did the Zebra Government attack Littlehorn?Fallout: Equestria wrote:“It was too late. The zebra convoy had assassins wearing zebra stealth cloaks…”
“They had one.” Xenith corrected. “A father whose family was killed in your school’s surprise attack.”
“They only needed one,” SteelHooves growled.
...
Why don't views of the events at Littlehorn like mine seem to be more common, then?
Silver136 wrote:If the legate then is the same person as the legate now(Amadi? For some reason I can't remember his actual name), then maybe. But I think the legate was somebody else at the time. Amadi was working with the Tokomare.Dutcher wrote:Maybe the Legate is the one who made the attack.
Seems to me he wanted the war to escalate.
I have there being multiple legates; it's a military rank, after all, and not the highest one (Legate Masozi, for example, is a significant figure in my headcanon). I'm also careful not to call Vitiosus (or Amadi, or whatever) by that title, as I consider him to have stolen it and be unworthy of it.swicked wrote:The position of "Legate" didn't exist at that time. That's the name of the leader of the hoofington Remnant.Silver136 wrote:If the legate then is the same person as the legate now(Amadi? For some reason I can't remember his actual name), then maybe. But I think the legate was somebody else at the time. Amadi was working with the Tokomare.Dutcher wrote:Maybe the Legate is the one who made the attack.
Seems to me he wanted the war to escalate.
I don't think Amadi was working on the Tokomare until Horse became the director.
I'm not sure we know anything at all about what he was doing during the rest of the war.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sat Jun 07, 2014 4:06 pm
@Hinds (Only needed one)
There are multiple ways to read that, though. After all, who better to send on a suicide run than someone with nothing to lose and a whole lot of hate; someone who could be labeled a rogue agent afterwards? Equestria did it.
There are multiple ways to read that, though. After all, who better to send on a suicide run than someone with nothing to lose and a whole lot of hate; someone who could be labeled a rogue agent afterwards? Equestria did it.
- Slight Spoilers for Jingo:
- I think it was in Jingo, one of the Terry Pratchett books, that the main character's counterpart on the "enemy" side (both were police pushed into warfare, both were investigating corruption on their own side) said something about the MC being essentially a bit racist for assuming that 'only your own side could be corrupt enough to actually decide to start a war' - that he was denying the autonomy of the other guys by thinking only his side could be dirty bastards, and the other guys could only be their victims.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sat Jun 07, 2014 5:44 pm
?Overlong Analysis Cobalt wrote:(Only needed one)
My memory agrees with you regarding the book. Indeed, the zebra who set off the bomb, assuming it wasn't a total accident (which is another possibility) could have been a plausibly deniable agent. A very plausibly deniable agent, as far as I can see, because I still can't figure out why the zebras would see causing the events at Littlehorn as a good idea.Overlong Analysis Cobalt wrote:There are multiple ways to read that, though. After all, who better to send on a suicide run than someone with nothing to lose and a whole lot of hate; someone who could be labeled a rogue agent afterwards? Equestria did it.
- Slight Spoilers for Jingo:
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sat Jun 07, 2014 5:46 pm
I'm not denying that the zebra government could have had method and opportunity; they probably could have carried out the events at Littlehorn relatively easily. I'm saying both that they don't seem to have had motive and that other possibilities without such holes exist.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Sat Jun 07, 2014 6:04 pm
As I said, maybe they were sending a message
Give in to our demands or we'll only get worse
And why didn't Equestria just give them Gems?
Oh wait, Season 3 wasn't out when FoE was written, so the Crystal Caverns weren't canon
Still, there were the Diamond Dog mines...
Give in to our demands or we'll only get worse
And why didn't Equestria just give them Gems?
Oh wait, Season 3 wasn't out when FoE was written, so the Crystal Caverns weren't canon
Still, there were the Diamond Dog mines...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Sat Jun 07, 2014 7:23 pm
Why not? Because Equestria's diplomatic corps was nonexistent or incompetent; Celestia (also maybe Luna) forgot how zebra culture and government worked and the character of the new Caesar; and nobody else with high level access knew literally anything (yes, I'm being serious when I say that) about either until Goldenblood happened to be in court that one time (this incidentally suggests that the zebras may have had no diplomatic corps in Equestria, and cross nation travel by the elite was uncommon for both, with Goldenblood's experience being uncommon or unique), after Celestia and Luna had effectively come to the conclusion it was too late to do anything diplomatically anyway.
It could also be because of specific demands on one side or the other, for instance if the zebras were requiring long-term contracts or especially gems-in-advance payment, the latter of which frankly doesn't work very well when they're already impounding goods that were paid for in advance. Basically, if the zebras couldn't agree to pay-as-you-go, the ponies couldn't agree to cash in advance without making themselves vulnerable to repeated ransom demands—that is to say, exactly what was happening at the time. Of course, even paygo doesn't get around that; it just limits the losses. Alternatively, it could be that Equestria is demanding a large enough initial shipment that they will have considerable stockpiles, enough to be able to weather an embargo much longer next time. And, of course, they would be right to do so, since the zebra government has shown itself to be untrustworthy extortionists. This might not be acceptable to the zebra government, since it may want to continue to use illegal confiscations to extort concessions in the future, or just because a large initial shipment doesn't look like enough of a win.
It could also be because of specific demands on one side or the other, for instance if the zebras were requiring long-term contracts or especially gems-in-advance payment, the latter of which frankly doesn't work very well when they're already impounding goods that were paid for in advance. Basically, if the zebras couldn't agree to pay-as-you-go, the ponies couldn't agree to cash in advance without making themselves vulnerable to repeated ransom demands—that is to say, exactly what was happening at the time. Of course, even paygo doesn't get around that; it just limits the losses. Alternatively, it could be that Equestria is demanding a large enough initial shipment that they will have considerable stockpiles, enough to be able to weather an embargo much longer next time. And, of course, they would be right to do so, since the zebra government has shown itself to be untrustworthy extortionists. This might not be acceptable to the zebra government, since it may want to continue to use illegal confiscations to extort concessions in the future, or just because a large initial shipment doesn't look like enough of a win.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sat Jun 07, 2014 11:19 pm
That doesn't make sense. If there were days between the convoy and the gas bomb, there would be plenty of time for cooler heads to prevail. Equestria would say, "Shit, sorry, sorry! That was a total accident. Look, we have those responsible in custody. How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?" Remember, at this point the war was still quite civilized, as wars go -- quarter asked and given, rules of war respected, that sort of thing. If they deliberately gassed Littlehorn, understanding what happened and cognizant that it's a school full of children, then the zebras are precisely the monsters that Image made them appear to be.Overlong Analysis Cobalt wrote:@Hinds (Only needed one)
There are multiple ways to read that, though. After all, who better to send on a suicide run than someone with nothing to lose and a whole lot of hate; someone who could be labeled a rogue agent afterwards? Equestria did it.
The revenge of a grieving father in the heat of the moment is the only way this makes sense. Then both sides are shocked at the other's barbarism and each has a list of innocent victims to wave around.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sat Jun 07, 2014 11:58 pm
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 12 Somber11](https://i.servimg.com/u/f31/17/51/22/96/somber11.jpg)
And Chapter 67 is delivered!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:09 am
Got my copy downloaded, and I'll be looking forward to reading it tonight. I'm expecting Goldenblood to be an unhelpful, cryptic jerk... so we'll have to see what happens.
*hugs Somber and Hinds very gently* Thank you both, and the other editors for your all your hard work.
*hugs Somber and Hinds very gently* Thank you both, and the other editors for your all your hard work.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:23 am
@WavemasterRyx:
You're quite welcome. A lot of things get addressed in this chapter...
You're quite welcome. A lot of things get addressed in this chapter...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:53 am
No matter how civilized a war is, the point of it is still to win, and there will always be people who will try to take advantage. (Not to mention that we know there were people within the zebra government absolutely pushing for escalation, whose entire agenda was escalation) For instance: Equestria is apologizing, saying they're horrified by the misfire that resulted in the tragic deaths of the refugee convoy. A zebra General in high-level meeting with his fellows puts down the report on Equestria's mea culpa, muttering about how the ponies' incompetence at war is now costing the zebras worse than the ponies. Someone says, "Yes. They are inexperienced at war. They don't know it. If they were to see just one bit of what war can be, they would sue for peace at once." And someone else says, "Blood demands blood. Isn't that the old way? When the scales are evened, then we can put an end to this." And the General frowns, and says, "You cannot retaliate in kind to an accident, however horrific it might have been. It just isn't done." And the first someone says, "Accidents of our own can happen, too. Perhaps someone forgot to revoke a certain zebra's security clearance until they had already gone off reservation, for instance. With a talisman. Accidents happen in war. When the ponies see that, they will make peace." And the General says, "The Caesar would have our heads for even thinking about this." And the second someone says, "Well, we all know about him. He got us into this war in the first place with his posturing, all because, deep down, he is weak. Who here would tell him?"SilentCarto wrote:That doesn't make sense. If there were days between the convoy and the gas bomb, there would be plenty of time for cooler heads to prevail. Equestria would say, "Shit, sorry, sorry! That was a total accident. Look, we have those responsible in custody. How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?" Remember, at this point the war was still quite civilized, as wars go -- quarter asked and given, rules of war respected, that sort of thing. If they deliberately gassed Littlehorn, understanding what happened and cognizant that it's a school full of children, then the zebras are precisely the monsters that Image made them appear to be.Overlong Analysis Cobalt wrote:@Hinds (Only needed one)
There are multiple ways to read that, though. After all, who better to send on a suicide run than someone with nothing to lose and a whole lot of hate; someone who could be labeled a rogue agent afterwards? Equestria did it.
The revenge of a grieving father in the heat of the moment is the only way this makes sense. Then both sides are shocked at the other's barbarism and each has a list of innocent victims to wave around.
And maybe they really believed that it would bring the ponies to their senses, show them that the cost of war was too high for them to imagine, much less be willing to pay. Or, maybe it was dem Star Zebras, pushing people along towards the apocalypse. But there have been many, many times when cooler heads did not prevail throughout human history, or when cooler heads decided to seize upon the semblance of an attack to further their own designs and ended up starting World War Uno (or what have you).
Not saying it happened this way, just saying that it could have done.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Silver136 Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:26 am
I think you might have left one of the auditing recmendatiins in there.
"She's repeating herself here. How about "Her words echoed in my head, but again everything came down to that one question."
This was when BJ was talking in the shadow realm.
"She's repeating herself here. How about "Her words echoed in my head, but again everything came down to that one question."
This was when BJ was talking in the shadow realm.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Exodus Hero Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:29 am
Fk yes.O. Hinds wrote:
And Chapter 67 is delivered!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:14 am
- 24 hour courtesy spoiler:
- I noticed BJ seems to be a more considerate of Glory in this chapter. It's really nice to see.
Also because I believe we had a discussion on it previously. STDs confirmed.
Maybe it's just the terminal disease he expected to die from. But I just couldn't help but compare Goldenblood to Walter White. Probably just me. But I guess I have a voice to read his dialogue in in the future. The way he manipulated Twilight didn't help that much either, reminded me a bit of how Walter might try and speak with Pinkman.
Now (I believe) we have confirmation that BJ absolutely cannot carry her foal.
I'm kinda curious what BJ plans to do with GB. Certain he's a ghoul so the spinal injury will probably heal but I really doubt the Batpony's would be too thrilled to let her leave with him. Assuming he can be removed from the executioner pod.
Huh, maybe with GB's charisma he can convince Hades Cogs is Luna and BJ can lead Hades to her. Though that might add another faction to the list of those that want BJ dead, and possibly bolster Cog's forces.
Thanks for the chapter it was entertaining.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Sun Jun 08, 2014 4:35 am
Alright well... change of plans... I'm not going to be able to read the chapter until tomorrow night... It's going to be a long night/day waiting, but there's no way I can read a 50 page chapter fast enough to get to sleep at a reasonable time... on top of the other trouble I'm in on tumblr...
I do hope everyone else enjoys it.
*hugs Somber and Hinds a little, one more time*
Yay for addressing things.
I do hope everyone else enjoys it.
*hugs Somber and Hinds a little, one more time*
Yay for addressing things.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Exodus Hero Sun Jun 08, 2014 4:38 am
The commentary at the end, though.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Dutcher Sun Jun 08, 2014 6:47 am
Coming back from a fucking five hours final and
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 12 1385753810661](https://img.4plebs.org/boards/pol/image/1385/75/1385753810661.gif)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Jun 08, 2014 6:57 am
- Spoiler:
- Spoilers!
Overall thoughts: quite an enjoyable chapter! Funny, too, in a dark sort of way. Goldenblood's sentencing of himself to endless torment and all that. He's a pathetic character, after all this and all the buildup of him as the arch-mastermind, and that was done exactly the way I personally wanted. I do love me an anti-climax! Or, well, I guess the big reveal at the end was a bit climactic, but you know. Someone reading circa chapter 15 or so would probably never have seen this portrayal coming.
One of the things I liked best from this chapter was its portrayal of Goldenblood in the just-post-apocalypse. Dude did not have a plan, and it turned out nobody gave a shit about him. Small fry in the face of everything.
I loved the take on the "three riddles to show what the main character has learned"-shtick, where the answers weren't truths but rather what Goldenblood believed. It was hilarious how sure he was that anyone who could get past it would want to end him.
The author's (and editor's... really, mostly editor's) notes at the end were also a merry old time. A mathacre, indeed. :P
Anyway, yeah! Good chapter. More time-jumpy than usual, and maybe more than might be ideal from an aesthetic standpoint, but the content was good and the Pinkie scene was chilling. Good on ya, Somber, and good on the editing team.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Dutcher Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:10 am
- WHAT:
It was Amadi all along?
Who could have guessed right?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:14 am
- Chaptet 67 Spoilers:
As Blackjack says: HRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
Amadi was the one that caused Littlehorn...HE MUST DIE!!!!
The scene between Goldenblood and Pinkie was pretty horrific. I didn't expect it. It was quite uncomfortable to read.
So Redoubt was actually called the Big Macintosh Mega Stable. Cool.
The memory orb with Goldenblood watching Equestria die, and Fluttershy's blank dead-eyed state was very harrowing!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:44 pm
Sorry if I'm being stupid, but where would I go to get chapter 67?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:03 pm
…Silver136 wrote:I think you might have left one of the auditing recmendatiins in there.
"She's repeating herself here. How about "Her words echoed in my head, but again everything came down to that one question."
This was when BJ was talking in the shadow realm.
What the…
GDOCS!!!
Yeah, sorry about that. That shouldn't even have been in the chapter to begin with. Very sorry.
Sorry, Ryx (and I seem to recall now that you did indeed give me permission to call you that; if I am wrong, I apologize). Good luck.WavemasterRyx wrote:Alright well... change of plans... I'm not going to be able to read the chapter until tomorrow night... It's going to be a long night/day waiting, but there's no way I can read a 50 page chapter fast enough to get to sleep at a reasonable time... on top of the other trouble I'm in on tumblr...
I do hope everyone else enjoys it.
*hugs Somber and Hinds a little, one more time*
Yay for addressing things.
Yes, it was rather… um… yes. :DExodus Hero wrote:The commentary at the end, though.
There are a variety of ways, but the simplest would probably be to use the hub page link in my signature.Vinylshadow wrote:Sorry if I'm being stupid, but where would I go to get chapter 67?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:51 pm
I'll peruse it tonight and offer my bits tomorrow, along with whatever interesting tidbits I decide to copy to Notepad for future reference
I usually do it with passages I find hilarious
I usually do it with passages I find hilarious
- I forgot which chapter this was in:
- “Wait. Sired?” Glory asked skeptically. “I’m pretty sure that violates every code of conduct in every library I’ve ever been in.”
“Nah. All the best libraries have got great orgies going on,” Rampage drawled sarcastically
from below. “You just have to fuck really quietly.”
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by MSCA Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:15 pm
Dutcher wrote:Maybe the Legate is the one who made the attack.
Seems to me he wanted the war to escalate.
- Spoiler:
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 12 Eahwq8h](https://i.imgur.com/eahwq8h.gif)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Dutcher Sun Jun 08, 2014 6:41 pm
Well tomorrow is E3.
Lets sacrifice a goat and hope for Fallout 4
Lets sacrifice a goat and hope for Fallout 4
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Jun 08, 2014 9:43 pm
swicked wrote:
- Spoiler:
Easily explains his appearance, voice, odd strength and ability to survive long past every doctor said he should have died.
'Cause, for the most part, he already had.
- Spoiler:
- Not sure you should. The process was very slow and some of the things he was able to do aren't exactly what you'd expect from a ghoul. For instance impregnating Fluttershy. He couldn't have died (I think I'd prefer calling it that over ghoulification.) till sometime after their break up. Fluttershy would have certainly been alarmed by a low body temperture/ heart rate or the black ichor that ghouls call blood. I'm pretty sure that the ghouls have black blood... Can anyone confirm that? The constant pain he suffered from is another thing I wouldn't expect from a ghoul. Don't remember one ever mentioning that. In fact I think there was a ghoul BJ ran across that thought his penis had fallen off. Probably just joking of course but if we accept what he said at face value I think ghouls don't feel much of anything.
And GB lacks some canterlot ghoul abilities. Sanguine for example (Nice touch that he was at the execution.) was able to breathe pink cloud. I don't recall a case where GB accidentally seared someone with his morning breath. Though you could argue his body does produce it. I think this chapter he coughs up blood with a pink cloud in it or something, could be evidence of that.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:23 pm
I like the timing! Sure, too late for me to want to start it the night it was posted, but at least this way I got to it the next morning . . . okay, a little after noon. Still, beats trying to fit it all into the time after work on a Monday. So, what have we here?
As ever, many thanks to Somber and the editing crew for showing me a good time. On the time between updates, don't worry: you're a gem (collection of gems). This chapter, for example, you only were working at a rate of 260,000 words per year. For shame.
More seriously, I hope you're able to find work before too long, and that it will actually cover your bills. If Bronycon works out, so much the better, long as it's not a repeat of the Las Pegasus fiasco. Most important, I guess, is that you stay motivated! 
- Chapter Sixty Seven Running Thoughts:
- With no sun, I had no grasp of any direction other than up once I got away from familiar landmarks.
That's an interesting inversion of the vertigo she had such a problem with early on.
I’d died two, maybe three times, and now I was stuck in a shadow world,
"And now I'll banish you to the Shadow Realm! Mind Crush!"
At this point, I could come across Rarity's brain in a levitating robot, a pinkie pie spritebot, or the ghost of Applejack and not been terribly surprised.
That comic series from CSIMadMax and . . . is the second one Pink Eyes, or another comic or something? I don't know what the ghost of Applejack one is.
Maybe Luna would have ruled the same without him; maybe she’d have done even worse than she had with his help… or maybe, without him behind the scenes, the war would have ended peacefully instead of in fire.
Do you want to put a bullet through Fluttershy? Because if there's one pony responsible for the war ending in fire, it is she.
The shadow world had water of a sort; it trickled out of the rocks cold and clear and sterile. It didn’t have life, though. Just shadowy parodies. Ghostly trees shifted and flickered around me as I walked, disappearing when I stopped. Translucent ponies trotted by, froze at a crawl, and then suddenly blurred away in long streaks. Then some zoomed backwards like a rewinding recording. The silence was absolute; there were no echoes, and it didn’t matter how loudly I yelled. This strange place seemed to render every noise I made a whisper.
I like the atmosphere here.
When a bony hallucination started giving me advice, what did I do? Did I ignore it? Did I tell my friends? Did I mention it even in passing to any pony I met with a stethoscope and a theoretical doctorate? No, I gave him a spot as my chief fucking advisor!
Well, you didn't tell your friends immediately, but they learned fairly soon.
I hissed through my teeth at Tenebra, who stared at me as if I was deranged.
"As if." Right. Not to say she's not appropriately deranged, but Blackjack is good at turning on the scary.
“She took my fucking cutie mark,” I said in a murderous mutter, jabbing at my flank with a hoof. “She took my talent.”
You know, I hadn't thought too much about this before, since I was more wrapped up in the events going on, but that means that, in different ways, all three of P-21, Glory, and Blackjack have lost their cutie marks in some way. P-21 ended up taking it as a source of pride and individuality; Glory, though hurt, tried not to let it change anything about how she saw herself or her relation to her people; how will Blackjack respond?
And then, because no utterly foalish tantrum is complete without it, I clenched my eyes and screamed as loudly as I could. I put as much of my rage, frustration, and self-disgust as I could into it… and this damnable place bled my outrage down to an anemic cry.
Aaaaand Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Darth Vader "NNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Only kind of in the middle of the exploitable Downfall scene.
I felt a wing tentatively drape itself over my shoulders. “Please, don’t yell,” Tenebra said quietly, quickly. “I’m going to assume at least half of that was true.
I think it was over 90%.
“I’ve grown up wanting to smack my brother upside the head for his stupid plans. Like gluing all the furniture on the walls. Or trying to do a pantomime of Nightmare Moon’s demise. Or using oral sex to ease into the fact that eventually I was expected to do the deed with him knowing that every biology textbook said it was wrong. Never mind morals. I know what it’s like being trapped, so I can sympathize.”
In fairness, I don't think he was too into the idea either. Also, when you actually know what it's like, it's empathizing.
King Ebonstar ruled us, but generation after generation things simply… dwindled.
Ha ha ha! Also, I'd just like to point out that if this name had appeared early on, it would (justifiably—not because this is bad but because, let's be serious, there's some real correlation there) likely be taken as evidence of a bad story.
Everypony always remembers the leaders, but dig down a little more. Commander Ebonsoul served Princess Luna’s night guard.
There were two of them . . .
We trotted along in silence, Her words echoed in my head, but again everything came down to that one question. Why? That was the question. Why did Goldenblood do what he did? Why make Horizons? Why betray Luna? Why did he freak out at the end?
That's a first. I actually saw the changes happen here. And a good thing, too, because I was really confused by what looked a lot like editor's comments in the text itself.
“This was Princess Luna’s dream, before the Nightmare. Her own city, her Canterlot. But Celestia refused, and it drove Luna to darkness. Imbrium was never to be. But it persists here.”
“So this place is a dream?” I asked. “Or is the dream a place here?”
That's a pretty cool idea. Also, unnecessary dick move on Celestia's part.
“Ghosts? You’re telling me there are actually ghosts here?” I said, both skeptical and freaked out. I talked to the soul of Princess Luna, so my credulity limit was set pretty high. “What do we do?”
Why would she be skeptical of ghosts existing in a world of shadows, when she'd encountered a bunch of disembodied souls and free-floating memories elsewhere? Does the shadow world seem less appropriate for that sort of thing?
Dimly through the darkness, I thought I heard the immense creature sobbing over and over, ‘What a world’ and ‘It hurts! It hurts so much!’
Steven?!
But she still didn’t fly. Her wings flailed about unevenly and only threw off her stride even more. Then her eyes rolled back and her legs spasmed out from beneath her. She collapsed onto her side, jerking in the throes of a seizure. The ghostly creature zoomed in for the kill.
Oh, crap, what's happening?
It didn’t. When I emerged, my magnificently coiffed mane began to fall out, and my scales sloughed off. Then my skin. Then the muscles beneath. I was larger than the ponies dying in the green snow; it took me weeks to finally perish. And when I did, I died thrashing and blind on the banks of this river. I hadn’t wanted to die. It hadn’t even been my war…
Mercifully short description of that. And still really unpleasant. Still, not as bad as when Blackjack was dying of radiation poisoning early on.
I had exactly enough medical knowledge to put the haft of my spear between her teeth to keep her from biting off her tongue, then wait for the seizure to pass.
That is to say, very little. From WebMD (though specific to children's seizures):
Things not to do during a seizure:
Don't put anything in the mouth. First of all, despite what you've heard, it's impossible to swallow your tongue and choke. While the child may bite his or her tongue during a seizure, trying to cram something in the mouth probably won't work to prevent this. You may also get bitten, or you may break some of the child's teeth.
From the CDC:
Contrary to popular belief, it is not true that a person having a seizure can swallow his tongue. Do not put anything in the person’s mouth. Efforts to hold the tongue down can injure the teeth or jaw.
“I suppose Whisper is less of an exaggerating braggart than I thought,” she murmured as she carefully rose and adjusted her armor.
See, the thing about Blackjack is, there's no reason to exaggerate most of the time.
“No. It happens quite frequently when I am… apprehensive and stressed. All batponies have physical, social, and educational regimens to keep us fit and sane. I’ve… frequently… failed them. My brother’s… mare,” she said delicately, as if she’d much rather have said something else.
Yeah, sorry, but this is coming across less as just distaste for Psychoshy personally, and more deep-seated jealousy of the relationship you were supposed to have, despite the revulsion she also has towards it.
I turned to face him, and he held up his board. ‘Fighting. Zebra & ponies. Bad’.
"Oh, isn't he just so eloquent?" Whisper cooed, stroking his cheek with a powerhoof. Tenebra made a gagging face behind his back.
Okay, seriously, she may be conflicted about it, but look at this.
I’m not a very well-read pony. In Stable 99, I’d flunked reading two years in a row. It hadn’t seemed all that important to me, given that I was a C shift security mare. What did I need to read for?
Umm . . . becoming the head of security?
A cold, defunct chemistry laboratory that still held an acrid tang. A huge purple gemstone carved in the shape of a heart that filled me with a sense of numb fear.
That's a distinctive shape. I don't think it was ever purple though, so this has me intrigued and concerned.
“How big is this place?” I said as I gaped at the map on the directory. ‘Big Macintosh Megastable Redoubt’ was printed at the bottom.
“As large as the castle above, and then some,” she said as we trotted to an elevator. We stepped in, she pushed a button, one of twenty, and the car started to descend. “This place was built with the intention of protecting critical features of the Equestrian government in the event of a catastrophic attack. Being in the shadow world, even the most powerful assaults could be endured. The war, if necessary, could be commanded even if Canterlot were lost.”
Okay, so at some point most of Hoofington is going to end up in there, probably as Tom hits.
Also, what's with this place existing in its present form? If that's what it was made for, then Stable One presumably wouldn't serve much purpose except to house those who weren't able to get out of Canterlot at the time. So why would Scootaloo go along with it, given her massive hate-on for the government and military?
“I don’t know what he said to my ancestors, but somehow he convinced them not to execute him, or throw him out into the green snow to die. I know not why, but he was entombed, by his own request, within this empty place. Every year we come down and find him still sealed.”
Bare minimum Canterlot ghoul? Soul magic? I really want to know, now.
“A storeroom. One of many. Some, like this one, hold seeds and spores. Others hold animal embryos.” I twitched at the word; I’d gotten a D in reproductive education, but I’d answered that one right on the multiple choice test
Come on, that doesn't mean anything. Fill in the blank (dammit, that feels dirty in the context of this story) is about the minimum I'd think of to actually mean she knew something. Granted, I guess the point was just that for that one, she wasn't guessing.
“No,” she replied evenly. “There is supposedly an enchantment upon them. If you do not know the password, your heart will stop and you will never wake again.” I gaped at her, and she gave a faint smile. “You asked.”
Oh hey, it's that thing from when Blackjack was first at Chapel. I wasn't expecting it to actually be used again. Or was it, at some point?
“I don’t suppose I could just chat with him without going through all this, could I?” I asked lamely, hoping the answer would be a surprise ‘yes’.
Persephone smiled and shook her head sadly. “That is not the way these things are done, Blackjack. Good luck,” she said simply as she leaned in and hugged me.
"This is, after all, based partly on an RPG."
“Right,” she said with a sheepish smile, then started for the exit. I turned, examining the terminal keys. Okay. Time to do this. I stretched out a hoof and– “Because I just…” Tenebra blurted behind me, and I froze, my hoof inches from the button. I turned, glancing back at her with a hard stare. “I just wanted… I mean… Whisper said how you like mares, and…”
Goddammit Tenebra, this isn't the time. Also, I have trouble believing neither Stygius nor Whisper said anything about that, to say nothing of how Blackjack talked about having a special somepony to you maybe an hour or two ago. Now, that in itself wouldn't be such an issue on its own, but given your own expressed distaste for anything remotely resembling libertinism and clear jealousy over relationships, there's just no way this can come across well.
Time to get this party– A thunderous sneeze detonated behind me, and I jumped in shock, landing with my hooves splayed to either side of the terminal. I glanced back at the blushing batpony mare standing in the doorway as she wiped her muzzle with a wing. “Sorry. All this dry air…”
Did someone accidentally touch some poison joke?
As soon as I did, there was a flicker as a magical shield was erected around the room. The turrets hummed, all four orienting on me. Finally, the memory orb case popped open. I saw each orb was conveniently numbered. I stared at the cursor on the terminal.
> Who did it?
Okay, odds on the answer being "Nobody"? Or was the sign a red herring?
That sounded like my kind of zebra! Make lunch, not war. I wondered how Glory’s cooking would stack up against theirs.
Depends. Would you be the judge?
Holy shit the dean's an asshole. How was this decision made, given that part of the reason the school was located where it was was because it was near zebra jungles? Maybe there was a change in the administration after the war started.
The orange mare in glasses who’d tried to talk about why curses didn’t technically exist stepped up to Goldenblood as he talked in low, earnest tones to the zebra mare. She nodded her head, gave a thickly accented ‘thank you’, and walked slowly from the office, followed by the other pair of ponies. “We’ll take the north wing,” the orange mare said, and together we went out into the quiet school. “Everypony is nervous.”
Hmm. Who is she?
Inside there were more than two dozen wounded zebras in an improvised hospital, cared for by a half dozen ponies and a harried looking school nurse. The attack must have happened only a few hours ago.
Okay, so this is the aftermath of the dean's attack that lead to the pink fog attack?
They’re not curses! They’re-“ she began to
I know it can be annoying, but sometimes you just need to accept that lay vocabulary can be distinct from technical jargon.
“Now, is it the red wire or the blue wire?” he mused.
“Dear Luna, don’t cut it if you’re not sure!” Goldenblood cried out. There were more hoofbeats as an older unicorn mare and a half dozen others trotted up to the fallen body.
“Hello, Principal Dew Blossom. I was just about to deactivate it.” Bitterbrew smirked. “And don’t be so fearful, Goldenblood. It’s always the red…”
The corpse reached up and grabbed Bitterbrew’s head, yanking him down towards the nightmarish ruin of his face. “Yur firsh!” he cried out, and then he flicked the talisman with the tip of his tail. From the end of the device, a twenty-foot-high plume of pink vapor blasted out. Bitterbrew’s head disappeared in the spray, and when his spasming body fell back, a dripping stub was all that remained. The jet of vapor started to die, but then a white mote was pulled into a silver ring around the pink talisman, and it surged and vomited forth an even more intense stream.
Okay, powering it with the souls of its victims is alarming and probably very effective.
Bitterbrew is a self-important, overly self-assured ponce.
I was concerned for a moment that this would turn into a case where the Massacre was, at least in terms of proximate cause, an accident. I'm glad that's not the case.
As Goldenblood watched, the cloak’s blood-matted hood fell away, and he saw the zebra clearly for the first time. The black stripes ran like ink, but every second his horrible injuries were restored.
So, unless the Starkatteri in general have some serious mojo, this looks like it's Amadi.
The stripes on his face didn’t look like natural zebra patterns but the glyphs of some horrible arcane spell. And as Goldenblood fell back into the lift, the zebra turned and looked back as the last of his skull popped back into place. With cold, terrifying certainty, I put a name to the face.
Amadi.
Well that answers that.
Goldenblood tried to hit the controls to stop the lift, but his body was stuck to the bars of the elevator. He stared down at the sight of his hide melting against the pink coated metal and cried out, then broke into hacks and coughs.
Yeah, given this level of exposure and the fact that he survives, I'm not going to be surprised if it turns out he's a Canterlot ghoul. But then again, what were the effects of healing potions on ghouls? They do help, right?
“Princess Luna! Princess Luna! What about the burning of Hoofington and the rumors that a zebra was responsible? Can you comment?” hollered another.
Luna’s mouth moved silently as she looked from one to the next. “I… well… I just wanted to say…” But whatever she wanted to say was trampled by more questions.
And this is why you set up rules for press conferences.
Okay, wrong about the answer, unless you want to connect "Nobody" to "Goldenblood," which could work in a way since that's how he, presumably, wanted his cell labeled.
Okay. Once again I was reminded why pink cloud wasn’t your friend. Having fire erupt with every shallow breath sure was distracting. Still, the sensation of breathing was quite welcome after trying to get into this damn orb. Memory orbs that shut down your breathing? That was fucked up. Knowing my luck, the last one would stop my heart. How long could a pony go without their heart beating?
Might have liked the mechanical, automatic organs there, huh?
“Thanks, Lionheart,” the mare said with a little nod as the stallions trotted out. “All yours, Goldenblood.”
I'll be interested to see if there was a point to this.
“She hasn’t even had that one,” the brown stallion replied with a grunt. “I don’t think she’s figured out she needs ta drink the damned thing first.” He paused. “You think she’s spit her bit or something? She’s played that song a dozen times already.”
Oh, but the refrain. ("When is my stallion coming home?")
“Something. I don’t know why this is hitting her so hard. Applejack, yes, but Twilight? It makes no sense. If she has…” then he shook his head and glanced at the pony. “How’re the wife and kids?”
Did he just get an inkling?
“If it’s what you really want, I won’t stop you. I imagine that Princess Luna will want to know why, but I’m sure that, as long as your friends know why you’re quitting, that’s all that matters.”
Can't tell if he's worming his way in, or sincere.
“That’s what I’m asking you. What are we fighting this war for? You know better than anypony. You’ve been in the government since before the ministries. So what is all this for?” Twilight asked.
Goldenblood didn’t answer right away. “Well… to protect ourselves from our enemy.”
“And they attack us to protect themselves from us. Seems like the better protection would be if everyone stayed home,” Twilight countered.
Feels a little weak, no doubt. And yeah, there were a lot of places where things could have gone differently, even just stopping.
“It’s not… that simple. Twilight… what you’re feeling for Big Macintosh, everypony is feeling. We’ve all lost friends and loved ones to this war. They want revenge and payback for all we’ve lost. We can’t just stop after we’ve given so much to–” he began when she cut through his words again.
“That’s a sunk cost fallacy, Goldenblood. We can’t stop fighting now because we didn’t stop fighting in the past because we won’t stop fighting in the future. We have to spend more lives for lives spent. No. I refuse to accept that,” Twilight said firmly.
Now, the thing to bear in mind here is that it isn't truly the sunk cost fallacy, at least not in a pure form; revenge changes that. But more to the point, though it is irrational, it's not about logic but feeling. For all she's changed from the start of season one, Twilight surely knows that, but I think she's falling back on old habits of thought in a dark time to comfort herself. Which isn't to say she isn't also right.
“It’s not just that. The zebras… they have a religious fear of Princess Luna. A superstition. They attack us because they feel they have to. Especially now with the peace talk blown to pieces.”
“And do you really think that in a choice between superstition and peace, they’d choose superstition?” Twilight asked sharply. Goldenblood almost physically wilted under her glare.
“We’re fighting… because we have to. That’s all there is to it,” he finished lamely, dropping his eyes to the table.
Well, it's hard to say. Also, Goldenblood is, right here, relying pretty heavily on the passive voice—it would be more accurate to say "Now that the zebras used a diplomatic congress in order to try to abduct or kill Princess Celestia . . . "
And I think that that's something here, too. As broken up over Big Macintosh as Twilight is, I'd expect there to at least be something left thinking about the princess.
“Sometimes I think Princess Luna really doesn’t want peace. I can’t imagine why, but it just feels… wrong.”
Well, there's such a thing as peace through victory. And when the country you are at war with isn't interested in another option, as demonstrated, for instance, by sabotaging peace talks with hidden assassins or kidnappers, it starts to look like the only option.
“I mean that at the rate we’re going, all that’s going to be left is a poisoned, polluted wasteland. I know you’ve seen the reports. Do you even know how much alchemical waste we’re producing, Goldenblood? Or chemical waste? And don’t get me started on that Flux junk that Flim and Flam got their hooves on. This stuff is dangerous and reactive, and we’re making a whole lot of it.”
So this is the genesis of the Gardens.
“Not if we have megaspells of our own to counter them,” Goldenblood said.
“Yeah. Funny how fast that research went. Research I didn’t even want my ministry to do. Suddenly I turn around and there’s all kinds of megaspell weapon theories practically lying around in the hallways,” Twilight said sourly.
Trottenheimer and the O.I.A. getting a head start?
“The Elements?” He frowned at the tiara. “I thought you couldn’t get them to work.”
Yeah, figured that would be the case.
“Luna won’t allow it, Twilight. I’m sorry. She doesn’t want to risk the Elements falling into the wrong hooves. Besides, she won’t tolerate any talk about losing the war. Building something like this is just that. Especially if she thinks it could be repurposed into a weapon,” Goldenblood said, giving the mare a long frown.
You know, she could have just spun it as a way to clean up the industrial waste.
“You honestly think that I would make a weapon with the Elements to use against Luna?” Twilight asked with a laugh. Goldenblood didn’t share it, and it sickened and died. “Goldenblood, are you saying Luna doesn’t trust us?”
Yes.
“Luna respects the six of you greatly and values your contributions, but you used the Elements against her once,” he said levelly. “She won’t risk you using them again.”
Disappointing, but hardly a surprise. In a way, though, it works with the aphorism that those who trust least are the least trustworthy themselves.
“I have to say, that was some smooth work. I’d heard you had a silver tongue, but I think it’s pure gold,” the batpony mare said as she trotted in from the kitchen. “She was ready to quit, but after a liberal application of bovine fecal matter, you had her back on the job.”
“I meant every word,” Goldenblood said calmly as he sat, then broke into coughing.
I'd believe it. Or at least most of it.
“Yeah, right. ‘Love Equestria?’ Really?
“No. I’ll take care of it,” he said as he levitated from his saddlebags a small, compact pistol and calmly screwed a silencer on to the end.
“M… master Goldenblood! I’ve known you since you were a colt! You can’t!” he stammered as he fell back against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” he replied, as he stood beside the batpony.
Whoa, really . . . that seems like overkill, and I thought that love and loyalty came before secrets.
Then his horn sparked, and she collapsed. The pistol was turned aside, and he bent over her, focusing intently for a few moments as Scruffy gazed on in confusion and fear. Without meeting his eyes, Goldenblood coughed and added softly, “The less memory I have to modify, the better.”
That's more like it.
“Everything Twilight said was true. If we lose this war, the damage to Equestria will be phenomenal. And I was right that Princess Luna would never authorize this project; she’ll see it as a sign of no confidence. So it must be this way. But that I can handle. What I’m really worried about is… something else,” he said as he put the gun away, pouring more spirits around the bar. I wished I could lick my lips at the perfectly good eighty proof Wild Pegasus going to waste!
Already some concern over the Eater?
Also, I'll have you know that the good stuff, out of the standard issues, is the 101.
“Luna may turn out to be a good and kindly ruler, but a contingency should be in place for what happens if she turns tyrant. Something that will sweep all of this away and give Equestria and the world a second chance.”
This is looking like a potential start for Horizons, but I don't know, that seems like overkill, considering a coup could probably be pulled off with just a few people and some decent equipment. But then, perhaps harder to do such that it can be done with the push of a button.
I pulled myself out of the memory orb fugue, swaying on my hooves. Gardens of Equestria, and I was guessing Project Horizons, born from the same fear. One that we would lose the war and the world would be uninhabitable, and the other that we would win it. Equestria under the control of a pony with absolute power and no responsibility for that power... it was a chilling prospect.
I still think there would have to be a way to do that with less collateral damage. But as long as Horizons wasn't the first resort, I guess I could let that go.
>WHAT DID HE DO WRONG?
Loved wrongly? Unaccountability? Living?
I swallowed hard, typed >LOVE, and clenched my eyes closed again as I hit the key.
Well, got the first, best guess, I suppose.
Huh. Nothing. Then the phrase rasped like a rusty file across my brain: ‘Who did I betray?’ And then I felt a very familiar stillness in my chest as my heart stopped. Instantly the edges of my vision darkened and I felt myself start to collapse. One second. ‘Luna!’ Two seconds. ‘Fluttershy!’ Three seconds. ‘Twilight’. My face hit the terminal keys. Four seconds. ‘Yourself!’ Everything went black as my brain gave one last feeble thought: ‘Everypony!’ Then it all went to black.
Well, that does work pretty well. Also, this is reminding me of "Shadow of the Ministries," in that there's a focus on six questions and answers, replacing six memory orbs. Still focused on the past, though.
The calendar on the desk had a number of entries written down for the next week: Arrest Badpony List F. Cake testing. Interrogate. Get confessions. Arrest Goldenblood, Garnet, Onyx, and Quartz. Play time with Gummy. Interrogate Goldenblood. Arrest Badpony List G. Interrogate. Review party procedures for GGG. And on the week after that: Raid 4stars. Arrest Badpony Lists H, I, and J. Arrest Princess Luna. Throw retirement party.
Huh, would not have expected that. Though, given it's clearly after her super overdose, I guess I can see why. On the other hand, this must have been written before she knew the world would end. Or, perhaps, she didn't know the exact time.
He levitated out a tin and set it on the desktop. “Have a Mint-al, Pinkie.” His ghoulish voice was barely a whisper as he opened the tin with his magic and levitated out one of the pills, setting it on the desk before him.
That's low, but then, it's before she took Twilight's thing to heart.
“Director?” the gray mare said in bafflement. “What are you doing here?”
Pinkie gaped at her and pointed a hoof at Goldenblood, hissing, “He’s not the director of the O.I.A. anymore! Take him out of my office! Now!” But the four hesitated. Goldenblood just sat there, not moving a muscle as he stared at them. Pinkie’s glare slowly changed to one of bafflement. “What are you doing? He’s nopony now but a criminal! Luna fired him. Get him.” But none of them moved.
Yeah, hard to make that move. And maybe Horse would someday be the director, really, but not yet.
Goldenblood continued his refrain. “Have a Mint-al, Pinkie.”
Have a Snickers. You aren't yourself when you're hungry.
“Don’t hurt her, sir,” Pumpkin warned with a frown. Then, fighting tears, the unicorn and pegasus stepped out of the office. Pinkie stared at the doors as they closed behind her, eye twitching.
I guess he could, but I don't think that's what he's all about at this point.
“You don’t get that those minor crimes and offenses don’t matter. The war needs certain ponies running things and keeping things going smoothly. So long as they don’t go too far, they get their autonomy. In return, Princess Luna gets her war materiel.”
“It’s wrong. Everywhere I look, I can feel bad things happening.” Her mane curled a little. “Only the little ponies aren’t bad. They’re the only good ones. Everypony else... everypony...”
Yeah, I'm with him here,. Maybe not so much about the extortion, but getting worked up over every little thing is no way to keep the wheels turning.
“Did you know that I didn’t want any of this to happen? When Luna came to me, I was quite ready and happy to die. But Equestria was at war and needed her. She needed me. I needed Equestria. So I helped make her a government she could control... and she’s done so brilliantly. There are some ponies now who actually don’t know a Princess rules them. It’s all ministry, ministry, ministry. And when we finished organizing the ministries, I was ready to step aside and let the whole bloody plan commence. But I was connected. From my travels as a foal, I knew zebras in the Empire who were sympathetic to us. My lineage gave me access to the aristocracy. My work with Luna gave me access to the bureaucracy. And if I didn’t have access, I knew a pony who could help me get it. And suddenly I had my hooves deep in the greatest sociopolitical piece of performance art in history!”
It's sort of funny how one of the big changes from FoE is that it seemed like there's more malevolence, more intent, and particularly more Goldenblood (as an Idea) behind the changes in PH's Equestria, end yet, from his perspective, it was all one big accident that kept snowballing.
“Tell me...” he said as he advanced, and Pinkie’s smile slowly evaporated as her eyes went even wider. “What’s itching now, Pinkie?” he yelled as he jumped upon the older mare. “Have a mint-al Pinkie! Have all the fucking mint-als!”
Oh, is this the cause of the big one? Bad guess, then. So the mirror was separate, I suppose. Weird.
She opened her mouth to scream, and he shoved a dozen tablets into her mouth. “Chew them up! Swallow! What’s itching now? What’s twitching? What’s your Pinkie sense saying! What!”
Man, this just doesn't seem much like him. What's he doing? Why? Why now?
Pinkie retched, bringing up a slurry of pills in a reeking heap, coughing and gasping as she lay on the floor. He levitated over his tuning fork, struck it, and listened to its tone. His whole body relaxed as he turned his back and started towards the office doors.
So he's been corrupted by this point. I guess that makes sense. Miss how he was at the start, hating the sound, but can't fault it if that's how it works. And that's pretty consistent with the goal.
Goldenblood rose off her, staring at the mirror in the corner. He trotted towards it and then levitated the cloth away. The single pane shimmered, framing a reflection perfectly. That reflection, though, didn’t appear to be him at all. It was an unscarred stallion covered in blood. He stood on a field of salt and ashes, the air above him black and rolling. And in the background, something horrible was breaking out of the barren land, clawing from the earth like a colossal ghoul. Its head broke the surface, and it let out a scream, and the blood-drenched stallion let out a small smile. A star fell into its wide jaws and world split in two as something horrible was reborn.
Scenery porn count at least two, counting the one at the start.
“No! No, it’s a trick! It can’t be true!” the stallion on this side of the glass shouted.
"That's impossible!"
Not the biggest fan of solution by Pinkie sense and mirror. Twilight's felt more natural.
She’d outright said that Goldenblood served the Eater. That he was a no good badpony… It was almost quaint, considering other badponies I’d met.
I don't know who you've met that really leaves Goldenblood as "quaint." Maybe Cogs and Amadi? But those are both pretty new to you, at least knowledge of what they really are. And that still leaves all the others.
For several seconds, nothing happened. Then two lines popped up.
>ANSWERS ACCEPTABLE.
>ACCESS GRANTED. WELCOME, EXECUTIONER.
OH MY GOD THIS IS WONDERFUL.
The question becomes, can she be his executioner? On the one hand, some of the Word of God has suggested it'll happen, and especially with what Lighthooves ended up as, I'm not sure that was it. On the other hand, in general, the more Blackjack's known, the less inclined she's been to go through with it. And there's almost the point here that the greater punishment, now as at every point since Littlehorn, would be life.
Wait. What? I stared at the words as field dropped, then tore my eyes away as the door ahead opened. Beyond was a room not much bigger than this one but packed with strange equipment that beeped and clicked, cool mist creeping around the devices. In the center of it was a pod just like the ones in the Fluttershy Medical Center. Within lay the reposed stallion, and upon his head a mesh just like the one Cognitum had used to transfer my memory. Beside the pod was a machine identical to the ones I’d been hooked up to in Happyhorn. A dozen monitors were arranged facing the door; when I stepped in, they flickered to life with a dozen green images of Goldenblood.
Not quite S.P. 3, but good. Too bad there are no crystals, though.
“Indeed. Repurposed by the M.o.M. and M.o.P. to extract every last detail of the accused’s life. Any memory can be used against the accused in a court of law.
Somehow I doubt Fluttershy would be okay with that. Pinkie maybe, even if not right at the end.
A different screen began to scroll with words like ‘Burning Alive’, ‘Defenestration from Shadowbolt Tower’, and ‘Drawing and Quartering’.
Hmm. The first seems a waste given he already suffered through chemical burns for the last decade of his life outside. No longer an option. What, we've dropped the "hanging" part, now? Or is he just too weak from a respiratory standpoint to be expected to live through it for the drawing and quartering?
I shook my head. “I want to talk to him. Let him go.”
What I was expecting. Glad to see it.
No, I’m afraid only an executioner will do. Please make your selection, or you will have to be disintegrated.”
“What?” I shouted. Seriously, I couldn’t win with robots! “Why?”
“Password security. Can’t have you writing the answers on the door.
Okay, that's both hilarious and pretty well in keeping with Goldenblood's own history and methods, if a little indiscriminate.
A unicorn glanced at the scarred stallion, then said in a low voice, “Yes, Officer Lionheart. He’s drugged to the tip of his horn, sir. He keeps on trying to rant and rail, but he shouldn’t cause a fuss.”
. . . Okay, he's back, but why as an officer and an interrogator? Just a double duty thing? I mean, I get why it'd be someone we've seen working for Goldenblood before, but why Lionheart?
On her right, however, sat six seats adorned with the ministry icons. Only one was occupied; Rarity sat stiff as a board, her eyes fixed on her hooves. The seat for princess Celestia was also vacant.
“Mistake…” Goldenblood murmured.
“Yes, you made a mistake. But it’s too late to–”
“No. Princess Luna,” Goldenblood muttered. “She shouldn’t have empty seats. Makes her look weak.” The batpony stared at him incredulously, and the corner of the scarred unicorn’s mouth curled. “Should have filled them with representatives.”
Yeah, Goldenblood knows how to go out.
“Were that the times allowed Us to banish him for a thousand years, but even that would be insufficient for his deeds and conspiracies. He has plotted the overthrow of Our crown and the death of Our beloved sister. There is no imprisonment, exile, or banishment sufficient for one of his evil.”
I trust Luna is aware of the irony of what she's saying, that her own banishment was less than what was warranted.
Speakers turned on. Goldenblood’s harsh breathing filled the plaza, a touch of deep reverb with every breath, and then there came a deep and angry tirade, full of insults and rage, started against the weak, ineffectual, pathetic people of Equestria. The Goldenblood present in person sat quietly, a small smile on his face. His eyes were locked on Rarity, but the mare didn’t meet his gaze. When the recording ended, Luna said solemnly, “As you can see, his contempt is absolute, his loathing for our people unflinching. Thus, it is Our solemn and unwelcome duty to condemn Goldenblood to death.”
Bringing us back around to Glory's "confession"
She scooped up another handful of gems. In the midst of the heap was a large hoof-sized chunk of bubblegum-pink quartz. It seemed to have a silver ring set about it, and a talisman glyph glowed in the middle.
“Wait!” Goldenblood rasped, but he was too weak. Too slow. Too late. The gemstones tumbled into her maw, and she smacked her lips. Goldenblood struggled to his hooves. “Where did you get those gemstones?”
Well, was it always the case that she had eaten the talisman? I suppose this does make it clearer why getting rid of the dragon would fix things, when other talismans are capable of continuing on seemingly indefinitely.
The same mist covered Goldenblood, but at most all it caused was the faintest irritation. He hammered his hooves against the bars, but it availed him nothing.
Okay, so maybe he's one now. On the other hand, that wouldn't necessarily explain why the gas wasn't hurting him during the transition.
He starred as it began to flow down numerous side tunnels. “No... they’ll funnel it to every square mile of Canterlot! If it gets into the storm drains and sewers, every home and residence will be hit!”
"I'm delivering exposition!"
Everypony froze, staring in shock as the world seemed to scream around them, and then the whistle dropped to nothing.
The broadcasters? Could be, but then why would it stop?
“I’m sorry, Darling. This mist has gotten so accursedly dark,” she said as she tugged her hoof. “And I fear that I am stuck,” she added quietly. “Who is it... you sound like...” She stilled. “No. It’s impossible... unless... I’m dead?”
“No, Rarity. No. It was a show,” Goldenblood said quietly as he moved closer to her. “I think she just wanted a few months to interrogate me properly.”
“Ah,” the mare breathed softly. “So bothersome not to be forwarded the memo.”
Likewise, Rarity knows how to perform unto the end. It just wouldn't do to have a graceless last conversation, would it?
“It is only fitting. May it find somepony more worthy.” She closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks. “I wished to rule for a thousand years. To prove to my people that I was kind and loving, that I would care for them and protect them from the things they feared. That I was not Nightmare Moon. My reign was a mere hundredth of that, and I protected them from naught!” She spasmed in pain. “At the very least, I can do this. Protect the people of my land for a while longer.”
Didn't even last thirteen years.
More seriously, this was one of the reasons I've tended to have faith in how things would turn out after the war, given an Equestrian victory.
His last conversation with Luna is pretty touching.
And then the rabbit stopped holding back. In a series of kicks so swift that the beast could barely be seen, Goldenblood was flipped backwards into the air, slammed back down into the hillside, and struck so hard that all he could do was curl up. Every time his horn glowed, a white furry foot struck the spire, shattering his focus.
Okay, this seems much too durable for him to just be a crippled and weakened normal.
. . . Okay, maybe not.
“Goldenblood, I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t about you. I agree, you fucked up big time. I have to admit, I’m pretty good at doing that myself, but you beat me hooves down. Congratulations.”
This might be the best example of her taking P-21's admonition to heart and living it. Sure, it's not being applied to herself, but in a way, since he's the mirror of her from the past, it still works.
“Oh for the love of...” I muttered. “Yes. You did bad things. Really bad things. So have I. In some ways, worse things than you. No pony’s perfect. The difference is, I haven’t shoved myself into a computer waiting for somepony else to come along and put me down.”
Of course, that's not to say I've never done analogous things, but the point stands that that's not what I'm doing right now!
“Scoodle. Fluttershy Medical Center. Brimstone’s Fall. My home. Almost killing myself. P-21. Going underground. Fallen Arch. Using Folly on the Celestia. Not dying. Neglecting my friends. Endless self-loathing. Yellow River. Boing.” I hesitated, tilting my head. “Stygius... eh...” Then I glared at him again and resumed jabbing.
Nice.
“I don’t know. Ancient legendary abominations seldom have warnings such as ‘may resemble impossibly advanced technology’, and most alien technology fails to point out features like ‘unholy souls may be present’. Regardless, both outcomes are undesirable and frequently inevitable,”
They've come across both of those before, and often enough to know that each is often but not always inevitable? Could've been the freaking Pony X-Files, or Mares in Black.
“Yes. It would be the ultimate stable,” he said as a second stable diagram appeared. The Big Macintosh Megastable was even bigger than I could have imagined. “Built under the premise of being exclusively for Equestria’s elite and government agents, at least those who could reach it instead of having to shelter in Stable One, it wasn’t hard to get permission and materials. Few realized that it was shifted into the shadow world, where the power of the detonation would miss it entirely. The idea was simple. If EC-1101 was ever deleted, say by a tyrant who had had an interest in there being no way to transfer her power, or if it could not find a successor, say because the zebras killed us all, then Horizons would be activated.”
Oh, so maybe Scootaloo was in on it deeper than I expected? She just might have been disillusioned enough to go for the reset angle.
“Yes,” he answered solemnly. “There’s a star spirit bound within the moonstone.”
WHAAA . . . ?
swicked: IT’S A MATHACRE!
But you're (LM) Rarity, and then Celestia, not Twist! (Also maybe Trixie at some point?)
Bronode: No, we’re ‘MERRY WITH TIREDNESS’.)
Merry with tiredness was actually one of the things that pushed me in the direction of ponies, if not what ended up pulling me in in the end. Maybe it's better not to go into the details. Anyway, the first I watched of the show, actually, was some of the clusterfuck at the end of "Best Night Ever," which I saw streaming the next morning (or maybe a day or two after) (also, implying there wasn't continuous work from night to morning) as the project manager of the team on the project was watching it while hanging out by the printer and putting reports together. Good times.
- Chapter Sixty Seven Overall Thoughts:
- Okay, there was really a lot I liked about this chapter. Finally some real answers regarding Goldenblood, and closure on the end of his "life" and service to Luna. There, in particular, I liked his goodbye to her. Unfortunately, it's hard to tell exactly if in the end the megaspells ended up saving Luna, or if she would have come around on her own. Oh, and both Goldenblood's demeanor leading up to his fake execution and Rarity's poise and grace in dying were great points for the segment. There was some pretty clunkily delivered execution at one point, though, which brought me out for a second.
In a way, I'm conflicted about the Littlehorn orb. It sort of drew back into a situation where it was the work of a lone rogue, so really nobody's fault but the teachers who made up the thing about it being done by "the zebras." And I guess that's sort of in keeping with the spirit of FoE, but at the same time that may be a little diluted by it being him acting as an agent provocateur. I don't understand why Goldenblood couldn't have gone out to clarify things, but I suppose if he were recovering for a significant period of time, then by the time he could say what really happened, the narrative would be too self-sustaining, especially if it came after the "extended absence" announcement. Oh, and the zebra background was cool.
The one with Twilight in some ways felt like the one where the real keys were. It's hard, though, to believe that there really was just an epiphany there, though it could also have been the final realization of some unconscious doubts building for some time. I will say, though, that he seemed to be going pretty lax on some of the answers he gave, possibly out of guilt and doubt, but perhaps to avoid pushing Twilight too hard. I still don't understand why they couldn't have at least tried to sell the Gardens as an industrial waste cleanup project. I guess that while it might get passed up as not a treasonous lack of confidence, it might be forcibly back-burnered until the end of the war since it would just be a lower priority. Anyway, it's not too hard to see why Luna would be afraid of the Elements being used against her again, but I have to wonder why she never took them under her own control. I guess she may still have needed them. But there are some other questions, like why Twilight had the Element of Magic on, and what exactly they were trying to do with them when the activation failed. Oh, Scruffy was, I think, a pretty good background character, too. Wonder what did end up happening to the Crystal Empire, since that was brought up. Simplest answer is probably it got hit with the rest, and for all that they could have shielded, there wasn't forewarning (bit of a problem with the cruise missiles, though). Of course, given that they had a princess there, too, they may also have got a special package.
Oh, anyway, I'm not sure if there was ever really a reason for Lionheart to be involved here. I hope one will be introduced in a later chapter, because unlike the tie-in with Lyra being melted into the bench, which was never anything more than a sight gag and fandom reference even in the original, this is real characters, and it'd be nice if there was a purpose or specific logic behind the connection beyond "there would be batponies involved, so why not a known character?"
The Pinkie orb was mixed for me. For one thing, Goldenblood just losing his cool like that didn't seem like him. Maybe he was just past the point of caring, or deeply under the sway of the Eater and that was messing with him. Maybe if it was one of those, it was meant as a parallel to Pinkie herself. I don't know. Anyway, while of course it was necessary that he somehow come to realize he had become the Eater's slave, I wish there had been another way than Pinkie and her mirror of plot device.
At the start, the atmosphere and scenery were very good, and the bit with Steven Magnet was necessary to keep things moving, some nice description on its own, and was a useful reminder of how the ministry mares were affecting even those who had played some important role in their lives and initial development. Interesting that all the members of the royal family have such different afflictions, and that the parents have red eyes but the children both amber. Anyway, is it just me, and my apparent instinctive shipping ways, or does Tenebra come across as jealous of Whisper, for all her complaints about her brother and the arranged incest thing? Also, given her whole propriety schtick, I thought that the "hey wanna bang sometime" thing to Blackjack in front of her own mother was a little out of the blue. And sure, she's probably heard about Blackjack's non-monagamous ways, but man, the timing, if I'm right the jealousy, it all just felt weird. Blackjack handled it well, though, and the sneeze was some of the better comedy in the chapter, especially with how Blackjack had brought it up earlier.
So. The conversation with Goldenblood. Good points included the non-execution bit, and Blackjack's delivery of both her do better and P-21's (and others') it's not about you were pretty well done. Nice to get some more answers, and I wonder just what the other problems with the plan are (I'd figure that at some point they'd have started on workarounds for each discovered). As for why, that seems about in line with what I'd expected. And oh, that stinger ending. How that was managed I'll be interested to see, and wonder about the potential effect. Of course, if the Eater gets what it wants, then it can probably use it to jump-start itself even more than the Moonstone.
- Chapter Sixty Seven Editing:
- And we no idea where it was or even if I could eventually walk back, I was left alone in the shadows.
"with no idea"
At this point, I could come across Rarity's brain in a levitating robot, a pinkie pie spritebot, or the ghost of Applejack and not been terribly surprised.
"Pinkie Pie"
struggled to find words. “Stygius and father aside,
only one space after period, "father" should be capitalized
then half siblings…” she shook her head. “Genetic death.”
"she" should be capitalized
She's repeating herself here. How about
only one space after the period
“Princess Luna’s capitol,” she said with a wing sweep
"capital"
I didn’t like the pony war, hated it, in fact, but bad things happened to non-ponies who didn’t support the ministry’s war effort.
"ministries' "?
Her expression sombered immediately.
I don't think "somber" is a verb. And unless she became sad in addition to serious, "sobered" might be a better fit anyway.
“How big is this place?” I said as I gaped at the map on the directory.
should have only one space after quotation
I’m sure between us we can get father to relent!”
"father" should be capitalized
“Come daughter. She’ll return on her own later,”
comma after "Come"
My grades haven’t been good since mum… ahem…”
should "mum" be capitalized?
“What do you mean?” Goldenblood asked, glancing down at him.
should have only one space after quotation
“All of them.” Icebrand said as he shuffled
period should be comma, should have only one space after quotation
They’re not going to hide a hundred bits worth of equipment you can buy at any
"bits' worth"
They’re not curses! They’re-“ she began to
second hyphen/make dash
The zebra clasped the talisman in his hooves as they both went over. The onlookers screaming in terror.
either first period should be comma, or "screaming" should be "screamed"
Goldenblood desperately hammered the elevator control and winced a little patch of the pad remained behind.
"winced as a little patch"
Who did this? How?” The mare asked as tears streaked down her cheek.
"The" shouldn't be capitalized
one reporter finally said. Princess Luna’s mouth worked
only one space after period
Clear them out discretely.
"discreetly"
So what is all this for?” Twilight asked.
should have only one space after quotation
and then said, “You’re right.
there should be only one space after the comma
in a uniform says ‘war effort’, and the
should be only one space after "says"
To me, it was an adventure, but mother travelled to keep me safe from father.
"mother" and "father" should be capitalized
“Keepin ya from those Carnilia fillies was more a chore,” Scruffy chuckled.
apostrophe for "Keepin"
dreamed of this place. When mother died and
only one space after period, "mother" should be capitalized
Certainly, father didn’t make things easy for me
"Father"
“Yeah, right. ‘Love Equestria?’ Really
Question mark to outside of quotation marks
Otherwise, we may with the war, but Equestria may lose its very
"win"
Smoke rose into the sky he calmly walked back the way he came, fire in his wake.
"as he calmly walked"
I doubted the zebra would have let Luna go for any peace project.
"zebras"
was flat and dull. "Dark shadows lay under
delete the quotation mark
“That’s what my Pinkie sense is telling me.”
"sense" should be capitalized
“The Cakes! Spike! Twilight... goddess! Murky... how...”
should "goddess" be capitalized?
“You should get out of here director,” Pound growled, hugging Pinkie
comma after "here"
Show her how... Show... Be what you are...”
need second space after first ellipsis
She’s crazy. Just like mother...”
"mother" should be capitalized
surrounded by a dozen pegasi, unicorn, and batpony guards
"pegasus"
“This pony has betrayed her Majesty, and all of us.
But we do not decide for her Majesty. We execute her Majesty’s decisions.
should "her" be capitalized?
blasted out across her horde like burning napalm
splashing across more of the horde as she thrashed.
"hoard"
He starred as it began to flow down numerous side tunnels
"stared"
“I... I can’t move... Why...”
should have second space after second ellipsis
“I always was... too generous... for my own good...” Rarity murmured.
should have only one space after quotation
But I was manipulated, your majesty.
At least "majesty" should be capitalized
“What about Luna’s fuckups? What about Celestia’s? What about Twilight and her friends?
apostrophe for "friends"?
‘poor Euclopian pony’,” Goldenblood said with a
should have only one space after quotation
Atop her head perched a tiara with a six pointed star atop it.
I'd suggest rewording so that one of the "atop"s is gone. The simplest would probably be replacing the first with "On."
- Other Editing:
- 61:
But I do. My pinkie sense… I know! We’re going to die, or worse.
"Pinkie Sense"
As ever, many thanks to Somber and the editing crew for showing me a good time. On the time between updates, don't worry: you're a gem (collection of gems). This chapter, for example, you only were working at a rate of 260,000 words per year. For shame.
More seriously, I hope you're able to find work before too long, and that it will actually cover your bills. If Bronycon works out, so much the better, long as it's not a repeat of the Las Pegasus fiasco. Most important, I guess, is that you stay motivated!
Icy Shake- Alicorn
- Posts : 1209
Brohoof! : 308
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 35
Location : Boston, MA
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:42 pm
Last wrote:
- 24 hour courtesy spoiler:
- Spoiler:
- Yeah, I still find it hard to believe that at least Glory never thought about it before.
swicked wrote:Last wrote:swicked wrote:
- Spoiler:
Easily explains his appearance, voice, odd strength and ability to survive long past every doctor said he should have died.
'Cause, for the most part, he already had.
- Spoiler:
And GB lacks some canterlot ghoul abilities. Sanguine for example (Nice touch that he was at the execution.) was able to breath pink cloud. I don't recall a case where GB accidentally seared someone with his morning breath. Though you could argue his body does produce it. I think this chapter he coughs up blood with a pink cloud in it or something, could be evidence of that.
- Spoiler:
In my defense, I realized he'd been a ghoul the entire time right after the batponies said he was still alive. Which I read weeks ago, now.
In any case, he was actually only mostly ghoul. He didn't become full ghoul until the second exposure, during which all that was still alive in him finally burned away.
In the editor's chat I likened it to a cutscene from Diablo 2 in which the wanderer finally meets mephisto. The narrator states that it seemed like being in the presence of the demon strengthened the wanderer when, in actuality, the wanderer was losing. Shortly afterward, Diablo tears his way out of the fallen hero, and that was the end of him.
- Spoiler:
- I wasn't convinced for a while, first picking up on the possibility once they said that he was merely fortified in there but still alive. Even after that I was ambivalent for quite a while, even having some doubts with Angel breaking his back, I think, while noting he was taking too much punishment for a severely weakened normal. And it's true, I don't think he became a full ghoul until the day of the apocalypse, since he otherwise should have at least gotten better in terms of breathing, even if his voice was still ghoulish. On the breath issue, I'm not sure that it's something all Canterlot ghouls do. It may have been implied in FoE that it was relatively rare, what with I believe the only one that breathed Pink Cloud being the one with the Pink Cloud cutie mark.
Icy Shake- Alicorn
- Posts : 1209
Brohoof! : 308
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 35
Location : Boston, MA
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Jun 08, 2014 11:55 pm
Ah, thank you.Icy Shake wrote:I like the timing! Sure, too late for me to want to start it the night it was posted, but at least this way I got to it the next morning . . . okay, a little after noon. Still, beats trying to fit it all into the time after work on a Monday. So, what have we here?
- Chapter Sixty Seven Running Thoughts:
That's an interesting inversion of the vertigo she had such a problem with early on.
I’d died two, maybe three times, and now I was stuck in a shadow world,
"And now I'll banish you to the Shadow Realm! Mind Crush!"
At this point, I could come across Rarity's brain in a levitating robot, a pinkie pie spritebot, or the ghost of Applejack and not been terribly surprised.
That comic series from CSIMadMax and . . . is the second one Pink Eyes, or another comic or something? I don't know what the ghost of Applejack one is.
Maybe Luna would have ruled the same without him; maybe she’d have done even worse than she had with his help… or maybe, without him behind the scenes, the war would have ended peacefully instead of in fire.
Do you want to put a bullet through Fluttershy? Because if there's one pony responsible for the war ending in fire, it is she.
The shadow world had water of a sort; it trickled out of the rocks cold and clear and sterile. It didn’t have life, though. Just shadowy parodies. Ghostly trees shifted and flickered around me as I walked, disappearing when I stopped. Translucent ponies trotted by, froze at a crawl, and then suddenly blurred away in long streaks. Then some zoomed backwards like a rewinding recording. The silence was absolute; there were no echoes, and it didn’t matter how loudly I yelled. This strange place seemed to render every noise I made a whisper.
I like the atmosphere here.
When a bony hallucination started giving me advice, what did I do? Did I ignore it? Did I tell my friends? Did I mention it even in passing to any pony I met with a stethoscope and a theoretical doctorate? No, I gave him a spot as my chief fucking advisor!
Well, you didn't tell your friends immediately, but they learned fairly soon.
I hissed through my teeth at Tenebra, who stared at me as if I was deranged.
"As if." Right. Not to say she's not appropriately deranged, but Blackjack is good at turning on the scary.
“She took my fucking cutie mark,” I said in a murderous mutter, jabbing at my flank with a hoof. “She took my talent.”
You know, I hadn't thought too much about this before, since I was more wrapped up in the events going on, but that means that, in different ways, all three of P-21, Glory, and Blackjack have lost their cutie marks in some way. P-21 ended up taking it as a source of pride and individuality; Glory, though hurt, tried not to let it change anything about how she saw herself or her relation to her people; how will Blackjack respond?
And then, because no utterly foalish tantrum is complete without it, I clenched my eyes and screamed as loudly as I could. I put as much of my rage, frustration, and self-disgust as I could into it… and this damnable place bled my outrage down to an anemic cry.
Aaaaand Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Darth Vader "NNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Only kind of in the middle of the exploitable Downfall scene.
I felt a wing tentatively drape itself over my shoulders. “Please, don’t yell,” Tenebra said quietly, quickly. “I’m going to assume at least half of that was true.
I think it was over 90%.
“I’ve grown up wanting to smack my brother upside the head for his stupid plans. Like gluing all the furniture on the walls. Or trying to do a pantomime of Nightmare Moon’s demise. Or using oral sex to ease into the fact that eventually I was expected to do the deed with him knowing that every biology textbook said it was wrong. Never mind morals. I know what it’s like being trapped, so I can sympathize.”
In fairness, I don't think he was too into the idea either. Also, when you actually know what it's like, it's empathizing.
King Ebonstar ruled us, but generation after generation things simply… dwindled.
Ha ha ha! Also, I'd just like to point out that if this name had appeared early on, it would (justifiably—not because this is bad but because, let's be serious, there's some real correlation there) likely be taken as evidence of a bad story.
Everypony always remembers the leaders, but dig down a little more. Commander Ebonsoul served Princess Luna’s night guard.
There were two of them . . .
We trotted along in silence, Her words echoed in my head, but again everything came down to that one question. Why? That was the question. Why did Goldenblood do what he did? Why make Horizons? Why betray Luna? Why did he freak out at the end?
That's a first. I actually saw the changes happen here. And a good thing, too, because I was really confused by what looked a lot like editor's comments in the text itself.
“This was Princess Luna’s dream, before the Nightmare. Her own city, her Canterlot. But Celestia refused, and it drove Luna to darkness. Imbrium was never to be. But it persists here.”
“So this place is a dream?” I asked. “Or is the dream a place here?”
That's a pretty cool idea. Also, unnecessary dick move on Celestia's part.
“Ghosts? You’re telling me there are actually ghosts here?” I said, both skeptical and freaked out. I talked to the soul of Princess Luna, so my credulity limit was set pretty high. “What do we do?”
Why would she be skeptical of ghosts existing in a world of shadows, when she'd encountered a bunch of disembodied souls and free-floating memories elsewhere? Does the shadow world seem less appropriate for that sort of thing?
Dimly through the darkness, I thought I heard the immense creature sobbing over and over, ‘What a world’ and ‘It hurts! It hurts so much!’
Steven?!
But she still didn’t fly. Her wings flailed about unevenly and only threw off her stride even more. Then her eyes rolled back and her legs spasmed out from beneath her. She collapsed onto her side, jerking in the throes of a seizure. The ghostly creature zoomed in for the kill.
Oh, crap, what's happening?
It didn’t. When I emerged, my magnificently coiffed mane began to fall out, and my scales sloughed off. Then my skin. Then the muscles beneath. I was larger than the ponies dying in the green snow; it took me weeks to finally perish. And when I did, I died thrashing and blind on the banks of this river. I hadn’t wanted to die. It hadn’t even been my war…
Mercifully short description of that. And still really unpleasant. Still, not as bad as when Blackjack was dying of radiation poisoning early on.
I had exactly enough medical knowledge to put the haft of my spear between her teeth to keep her from biting off her tongue, then wait for the seizure to pass.
That is to say, very little. From WebMD (though specific to children's seizures):
Things not to do during a seizure:
Don't put anything in the mouth. First of all, despite what you've heard, it's impossible to swallow your tongue and choke. While the child may bite his or her tongue during a seizure, trying to cram something in the mouth probably won't work to prevent this. You may also get bitten, or you may break some of the child's teeth.
From the CDC:
Contrary to popular belief, it is not true that a person having a seizure can swallow his tongue. Do not put anything in the person’s mouth. Efforts to hold the tongue down can injure the teeth or jaw.
“I suppose Whisper is less of an exaggerating braggart than I thought,” she murmured as she carefully rose and adjusted her armor.
See, the thing about Blackjack is, there's no reason to exaggerate most of the time.
“No. It happens quite frequently when I am… apprehensive and stressed. All batponies have physical, social, and educational regimens to keep us fit and sane. I’ve… frequently… failed them. My brother’s… mare,” she said delicately, as if she’d much rather have said something else.
Yeah, sorry, but this is coming across less as just distaste for Psychoshy personally, and more deep-seated jealousy of the relationship you were supposed to have, despite the revulsion she also has towards it.
I turned to face him, and he held up his board. ‘Fighting. Zebra & ponies. Bad’.
"Oh, isn't he just so eloquent?" Whisper cooed, stroking his cheek with a powerhoof. Tenebra made a gagging face behind his back.
Okay, seriously, she may be conflicted about it, but look at this.
I’m not a very well-read pony. In Stable 99, I’d flunked reading two years in a row. It hadn’t seemed all that important to me, given that I was a C shift security mare. What did I need to read for?
Umm . . . becoming the head of security?
A cold, defunct chemistry laboratory that still held an acrid tang. A huge purple gemstone carved in the shape of a heart that filled me with a sense of numb fear.
That's a distinctive shape. I don't think it was ever purple though, so this has me intrigued and concerned.
“How big is this place?” I said as I gaped at the map on the directory. ‘Big Macintosh Megastable Redoubt’ was printed at the bottom.
“As large as the castle above, and then some,” she said as we trotted to an elevator. We stepped in, she pushed a button, one of twenty, and the car started to descend. “This place was built with the intention of protecting critical features of the Equestrian government in the event of a catastrophic attack. Being in the shadow world, even the most powerful assaults could be endured. The war, if necessary, could be commanded even if Canterlot were lost.”
Okay, so at some point most of Hoofington is going to end up in there, probably as Tom hits.
Also, what's with this place existing in its present form? If that's what it was made for, then Stable One presumably wouldn't serve much purpose except to house those who weren't able to get out of Canterlot at the time. So why would Scootaloo go along with it, given her massive hate-on for the government and military?
“I don’t know what he said to my ancestors, but somehow he convinced them not to execute him, or throw him out into the green snow to die. I know not why, but he was entombed, by his own request, within this empty place. Every year we come down and find him still sealed.”
Bare minimum Canterlot ghoul? Soul magic? I really want to know, now.
“A storeroom. One of many. Some, like this one, hold seeds and spores. Others hold animal embryos.” I twitched at the word; I’d gotten a D in reproductive education, but I’d answered that one right on the multiple choice test
Come on, that doesn't mean anything. Fill in the blank (dammit, that feels dirty in the context of this story) is about the minimum I'd think of to actually mean she knew something. Granted, I guess the point was just that for that one, she wasn't guessing.
“No,” she replied evenly. “There is supposedly an enchantment upon them. If you do not know the password, your heart will stop and you will never wake again.” I gaped at her, and she gave a faint smile. “You asked.”
Oh hey, it's that thing from when Blackjack was first at Chapel. I wasn't expecting it to actually be used again. Or was it, at some point?
“I don’t suppose I could just chat with him without going through all this, could I?” I asked lamely, hoping the answer would be a surprise ‘yes’.
Persephone smiled and shook her head sadly. “That is not the way these things are done, Blackjack. Good luck,” she said simply as she leaned in and hugged me.
"This is, after all, based partly on an RPG."
“Right,” she said with a sheepish smile, then started for the exit. I turned, examining the terminal keys. Okay. Time to do this. I stretched out a hoof and– “Because I just…” Tenebra blurted behind me, and I froze, my hoof inches from the button. I turned, glancing back at her with a hard stare. “I just wanted… I mean… Whisper said how you like mares, and…”
Goddammit Tenebra, this isn't the time. Also, I have trouble believing neither Stygius nor Whisper said anything about that, to say nothing of how Blackjack talked about having a special somepony to you maybe an hour or two ago. Now, that in itself wouldn't be such an issue on its own, but given your own expressed distaste for anything remotely resembling libertinism and clear jealousy over relationships, there's just no way this can come across well.
Time to get this party– A thunderous sneeze detonated behind me, and I jumped in shock, landing with my hooves splayed to either side of the terminal. I glanced back at the blushing batpony mare standing in the doorway as she wiped her muzzle with a wing. “Sorry. All this dry air…”
Did someone accidentally touch some poison joke?
As soon as I did, there was a flicker as a magical shield was erected around the room. The turrets hummed, all four orienting on me. Finally, the memory orb case popped open. I saw each orb was conveniently numbered. I stared at the cursor on the terminal.
> Who did it?
Okay, odds on the answer being "Nobody"? Or was the sign a red herring?
That sounded like my kind of zebra! Make lunch, not war. I wondered how Glory’s cooking would stack up against theirs.
Depends. Would you be the judge?
Holy shit the dean's an asshole. How was this decision made, given that part of the reason the school was located where it was was because it was near zebra jungles? Maybe there was a change in the administration after the war started.
The orange mare in glasses who’d tried to talk about why curses didn’t technically exist stepped up to Goldenblood as he talked in low, earnest tones to the zebra mare. She nodded her head, gave a thickly accented ‘thank you’, and walked slowly from the office, followed by the other pair of ponies. “We’ll take the north wing,” the orange mare said, and together we went out into the quiet school. “Everypony is nervous.”
Hmm. Who is she?
Inside there were more than two dozen wounded zebras in an improvised hospital, cared for by a half dozen ponies and a harried looking school nurse. The attack must have happened only a few hours ago.
Okay, so this is the aftermath of the dean's attack that lead to the pink fog attack?
They’re not curses! They’re-“ she began to
I know it can be annoying, but sometimes you just need to accept that lay vocabulary can be distinct from technical jargon.
“Now, is it the red wire or the blue wire?” he mused.
“Dear Luna, don’t cut it if you’re not sure!” Goldenblood cried out. There were more hoofbeats as an older unicorn mare and a half dozen others trotted up to the fallen body.
“Hello, Principal Dew Blossom. I was just about to deactivate it.” Bitterbrew smirked. “And don’t be so fearful, Goldenblood. It’s always the red…”
The corpse reached up and grabbed Bitterbrew’s head, yanking him down towards the nightmarish ruin of his face. “Yur firsh!” he cried out, and then he flicked the talisman with the tip of his tail. From the end of the device, a twenty-foot-high plume of pink vapor blasted out. Bitterbrew’s head disappeared in the spray, and when his spasming body fell back, a dripping stub was all that remained. The jet of vapor started to die, but then a white mote was pulled into a silver ring around the pink talisman, and it surged and vomited forth an even more intense stream.
Okay, powering it with the souls of its victims is alarming and probably very effective.
Bitterbrew is a self-important, overly self-assured ponce.
I was concerned for a moment that this would turn into a case where the Massacre was, at least in terms of proximate cause, an accident. I'm glad that's not the case.
As Goldenblood watched, the cloak’s blood-matted hood fell away, and he saw the zebra clearly for the first time. The black stripes ran like ink, but every second his horrible injuries were restored.
So, unless the Starkatteri in general have some serious mojo, this looks like it's Amadi.
The stripes on his face didn’t look like natural zebra patterns but the glyphs of some horrible arcane spell. And as Goldenblood fell back into the lift, the zebra turned and looked back as the last of his skull popped back into place. With cold, terrifying certainty, I put a name to the face.
Amadi.
Well that answers that.
Goldenblood tried to hit the controls to stop the lift, but his body was stuck to the bars of the elevator. He stared down at the sight of his hide melting against the pink coated metal and cried out, then broke into hacks and coughs.
Yeah, given this level of exposure and the fact that he survives, I'm not going to be surprised if it turns out he's a Canterlot ghoul. But then again, what were the effects of healing potions on ghouls? They do help, right?
“Princess Luna! Princess Luna! What about the burning of Hoofington and the rumors that a zebra was responsible? Can you comment?” hollered another.
Luna’s mouth moved silently as she looked from one to the next. “I… well… I just wanted to say…” But whatever she wanted to say was trampled by more questions.
And this is why you set up rules for press conferences.
Okay, wrong about the answer, unless you want to connect "Nobody" to "Goldenblood," which could work in a way since that's how he, presumably, wanted his cell labeled.
Okay. Once again I was reminded why pink cloud wasn’t your friend. Having fire erupt with every shallow breath sure was distracting. Still, the sensation of breathing was quite welcome after trying to get into this damn orb. Memory orbs that shut down your breathing? That was fucked up. Knowing my luck, the last one would stop my heart. How long could a pony go without their heart beating?
Might have liked the mechanical, automatic organs there, huh?
“Thanks, Lionheart,” the mare said with a little nod as the stallions trotted out. “All yours, Goldenblood.”
I'll be interested to see if there was a point to this.
“She hasn’t even had that one,” the brown stallion replied with a grunt. “I don’t think she’s figured out she needs ta drink the damned thing first.” He paused. “You think she’s spit her bit or something? She’s played that song a dozen times already.”
Oh, but the refrain. ("When is my stallion coming home?")
“Something. I don’t know why this is hitting her so hard. Applejack, yes, but Twilight? It makes no sense. If she has…” then he shook his head and glanced at the pony. “How’re the wife and kids?”
Did he just get an inkling?
“If it’s what you really want, I won’t stop you. I imagine that Princess Luna will want to know why, but I’m sure that, as long as your friends know why you’re quitting, that’s all that matters.”
Can't tell if he's worming his way in, or sincere.
“That’s what I’m asking you. What are we fighting this war for? You know better than anypony. You’ve been in the government since before the ministries. So what is all this for?” Twilight asked.
Goldenblood didn’t answer right away. “Well… to protect ourselves from our enemy.”
“And they attack us to protect themselves from us. Seems like the better protection would be if everyone stayed home,” Twilight countered.
Feels a little weak, no doubt. And yeah, there were a lot of places where things could have gone differently, even just stopping.
“It’s not… that simple. Twilight… what you’re feeling for Big Macintosh, everypony is feeling. We’ve all lost friends and loved ones to this war. They want revenge and payback for all we’ve lost. We can’t just stop after we’ve given so much to–” he began when she cut through his words again.
“That’s a sunk cost fallacy, Goldenblood. We can’t stop fighting now because we didn’t stop fighting in the past because we won’t stop fighting in the future. We have to spend more lives for lives spent. No. I refuse to accept that,” Twilight said firmly.
Now, the thing to bear in mind here is that it isn't truly the sunk cost fallacy, at least not in a pure form; revenge changes that. But more to the point, though it is irrational, it's not about logic but feeling. For all she's changed from the start of season one, Twilight surely knows that, but I think she's falling back on old habits of thought in a dark time to comfort herself. Which isn't to say she isn't also right.
“It’s not just that. The zebras… they have a religious fear of Princess Luna. A superstition. They attack us because they feel they have to. Especially now with the peace talk blown to pieces.”
“And do you really think that in a choice between superstition and peace, they’d choose superstition?” Twilight asked sharply. Goldenblood almost physically wilted under her glare.
“We’re fighting… because we have to. That’s all there is to it,” he finished lamely, dropping his eyes to the table.
Well, it's hard to say. Also, Goldenblood is, right here, relying pretty heavily on the passive voice—it would be more accurate to say "Now that the zebras used a diplomatic congress in order to try to abduct or kill Princess Celestia . . . "
And I think that that's something here, too. As broken up over Big Macintosh as Twilight is, I'd expect there to at least be something left thinking about the princess.
“Sometimes I think Princess Luna really doesn’t want peace. I can’t imagine why, but it just feels… wrong.”
Well, there's such a thing as peace through victory. And when the country you are at war with isn't interested in another option, as demonstrated, for instance, by sabotaging peace talks with hidden assassins or kidnappers, it starts to look like the only option.
“I mean that at the rate we’re going, all that’s going to be left is a poisoned, polluted wasteland. I know you’ve seen the reports. Do you even know how much alchemical waste we’re producing, Goldenblood? Or chemical waste? And don’t get me started on that Flux junk that Flim and Flam got their hooves on. This stuff is dangerous and reactive, and we’re making a whole lot of it.”
So this is the genesis of the Gardens.
“Not if we have megaspells of our own to counter them,” Goldenblood said.
“Yeah. Funny how fast that research went. Research I didn’t even want my ministry to do. Suddenly I turn around and there’s all kinds of megaspell weapon theories practically lying around in the hallways,” Twilight said sourly.
Trottenheimer and the O.I.A. getting a head start?
“The Elements?” He frowned at the tiara. “I thought you couldn’t get them to work.”
Yeah, figured that would be the case.
“Luna won’t allow it, Twilight. I’m sorry. She doesn’t want to risk the Elements falling into the wrong hooves. Besides, she won’t tolerate any talk about losing the war. Building something like this is just that. Especially if she thinks it could be repurposed into a weapon,” Goldenblood said, giving the mare a long frown.
You know, she could have just spun it as a way to clean up the industrial waste.
“You honestly think that I would make a weapon with the Elements to use against Luna?” Twilight asked with a laugh. Goldenblood didn’t share it, and it sickened and died. “Goldenblood, are you saying Luna doesn’t trust us?”
Yes.
“Luna respects the six of you greatly and values your contributions, but you used the Elements against her once,” he said levelly. “She won’t risk you using them again.”
Disappointing, but hardly a surprise. In a way, though, it works with the aphorism that those who trust least are the least trustworthy themselves.
“I have to say, that was some smooth work. I’d heard you had a silver tongue, but I think it’s pure gold,” the batpony mare said as she trotted in from the kitchen. “She was ready to quit, but after a liberal application of bovine fecal matter, you had her back on the job.”
“I meant every word,” Goldenblood said calmly as he sat, then broke into coughing.
I'd believe it. Or at least most of it.
“Yeah, right. ‘Love Equestria?’ Really?
“No. I’ll take care of it,” he said as he levitated from his saddlebags a small, compact pistol and calmly screwed a silencer on to the end.
“M… master Goldenblood! I’ve known you since you were a colt! You can’t!” he stammered as he fell back against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” he replied, as he stood beside the batpony.
Whoa, really . . . that seems like overkill, and I thought that love and loyalty came before secrets.
Then his horn sparked, and she collapsed. The pistol was turned aside, and he bent over her, focusing intently for a few moments as Scruffy gazed on in confusion and fear. Without meeting his eyes, Goldenblood coughed and added softly, “The less memory I have to modify, the better.”
That's more like it.
“Everything Twilight said was true. If we lose this war, the damage to Equestria will be phenomenal. And I was right that Princess Luna would never authorize this project; she’ll see it as a sign of no confidence. So it must be this way. But that I can handle. What I’m really worried about is… something else,” he said as he put the gun away, pouring more spirits around the bar. I wished I could lick my lips at the perfectly good eighty proof Wild Pegasus going to waste!
Already some concern over the Eater?
Also, I'll have you know that the good stuff, out of the standard issues, is the 101.
“Luna may turn out to be a good and kindly ruler, but a contingency should be in place for what happens if she turns tyrant. Something that will sweep all of this away and give Equestria and the world a second chance.”
This is looking like a potential start for Horizons, but I don't know, that seems like overkill, considering a coup could probably be pulled off with just a few people and some decent equipment. But then, perhaps harder to do such that it can be done with the push of a button.
I pulled myself out of the memory orb fugue, swaying on my hooves. Gardens of Equestria, and I was guessing Project Horizons, born from the same fear. One that we would lose the war and the world would be uninhabitable, and the other that we would win it. Equestria under the control of a pony with absolute power and no responsibility for that power... it was a chilling prospect.
I still think there would have to be a way to do that with less collateral damage. But as long as Horizons wasn't the first resort, I guess I could let that go.
>WHAT DID HE DO WRONG?
Loved wrongly? Unaccountability? Living?
I swallowed hard, typed >LOVE, and clenched my eyes closed again as I hit the key.
Well, got the first, best guess, I suppose.
Huh. Nothing. Then the phrase rasped like a rusty file across my brain: ‘Who did I betray?’ And then I felt a very familiar stillness in my chest as my heart stopped. Instantly the edges of my vision darkened and I felt myself start to collapse. One second. ‘Luna!’ Two seconds. ‘Fluttershy!’ Three seconds. ‘Twilight’. My face hit the terminal keys. Four seconds. ‘Yourself!’ Everything went black as my brain gave one last feeble thought: ‘Everypony!’ Then it all went to black.
Well, that does work pretty well. Also, this is reminding me of "Shadow of the Ministries," in that there's a focus on six questions and answers, replacing six memory orbs. Still focused on the past, though.
The calendar on the desk had a number of entries written down for the next week: Arrest Badpony List F. Cake testing. Interrogate. Get confessions. Arrest Goldenblood, Garnet, Onyx, and Quartz. Play time with Gummy. Interrogate Goldenblood. Arrest Badpony List G. Interrogate. Review party procedures for GGG. And on the week after that: Raid 4stars. Arrest Badpony Lists H, I, and J. Arrest Princess Luna. Throw retirement party.
Huh, would not have expected that. Though, given it's clearly after her super overdose, I guess I can see why. On the other hand, this must have been written before she knew the world would end. Or, perhaps, she didn't know the exact time.
He levitated out a tin and set it on the desktop. “Have a Mint-al, Pinkie.” His ghoulish voice was barely a whisper as he opened the tin with his magic and levitated out one of the pills, setting it on the desk before him.
That's low, but then, it's before she took Twilight's thing to heart.
“Director?” the gray mare said in bafflement. “What are you doing here?”
Pinkie gaped at her and pointed a hoof at Goldenblood, hissing, “He’s not the director of the O.I.A. anymore! Take him out of my office! Now!” But the four hesitated. Goldenblood just sat there, not moving a muscle as he stared at them. Pinkie’s glare slowly changed to one of bafflement. “What are you doing? He’s nopony now but a criminal! Luna fired him. Get him.” But none of them moved.
Yeah, hard to make that move. And maybe Horse would someday be the director, really, but not yet.
Goldenblood continued his refrain. “Have a Mint-al, Pinkie.”
Have a Snickers. You aren't yourself when you're hungry.
“Don’t hurt her, sir,” Pumpkin warned with a frown. Then, fighting tears, the unicorn and pegasus stepped out of the office. Pinkie stared at the doors as they closed behind her, eye twitching.
I guess he could, but I don't think that's what he's all about at this point.
“You don’t get that those minor crimes and offenses don’t matter. The war needs certain ponies running things and keeping things going smoothly. So long as they don’t go too far, they get their autonomy. In return, Princess Luna gets her war materiel.”
“It’s wrong. Everywhere I look, I can feel bad things happening.” Her mane curled a little. “Only the little ponies aren’t bad. They’re the only good ones. Everypony else... everypony...”
Yeah, I'm with him here,. Maybe not so much about the extortion, but getting worked up over every little thing is no way to keep the wheels turning.
“Did you know that I didn’t want any of this to happen? When Luna came to me, I was quite ready and happy to die. But Equestria was at war and needed her. She needed me. I needed Equestria. So I helped make her a government she could control... and she’s done so brilliantly. There are some ponies now who actually don’t know a Princess rules them. It’s all ministry, ministry, ministry. And when we finished organizing the ministries, I was ready to step aside and let the whole bloody plan commence. But I was connected. From my travels as a foal, I knew zebras in the Empire who were sympathetic to us. My lineage gave me access to the aristocracy. My work with Luna gave me access to the bureaucracy. And if I didn’t have access, I knew a pony who could help me get it. And suddenly I had my hooves deep in the greatest sociopolitical piece of performance art in history!”
It's sort of funny how one of the big changes from FoE is that it seemed like there's more malevolence, more intent, and particularly more Goldenblood (as an Idea) behind the changes in PH's Equestria, end yet, from his perspective, it was all one big accident that kept snowballing.
“Tell me...” he said as he advanced, and Pinkie’s smile slowly evaporated as her eyes went even wider. “What’s itching now, Pinkie?” he yelled as he jumped upon the older mare. “Have a mint-al Pinkie! Have all the fucking mint-als!”
Oh, is this the cause of the big one? Bad guess, then. So the mirror was separate, I suppose. Weird.
She opened her mouth to scream, and he shoved a dozen tablets into her mouth. “Chew them up! Swallow! What’s itching now? What’s twitching? What’s your Pinkie sense saying! What!”
Man, this just doesn't seem much like him. What's he doing? Why? Why now?
Pinkie retched, bringing up a slurry of pills in a reeking heap, coughing and gasping as she lay on the floor. He levitated over his tuning fork, struck it, and listened to its tone. His whole body relaxed as he turned his back and started towards the office doors.
So he's been corrupted by this point. I guess that makes sense. Miss how he was at the start, hating the sound, but can't fault it if that's how it works. And that's pretty consistent with the goal.
Goldenblood rose off her, staring at the mirror in the corner. He trotted towards it and then levitated the cloth away. The single pane shimmered, framing a reflection perfectly. That reflection, though, didn’t appear to be him at all. It was an unscarred stallion covered in blood. He stood on a field of salt and ashes, the air above him black and rolling. And in the background, something horrible was breaking out of the barren land, clawing from the earth like a colossal ghoul. Its head broke the surface, and it let out a scream, and the blood-drenched stallion let out a small smile. A star fell into its wide jaws and world split in two as something horrible was reborn.
Scenery porn count at least two, counting the one at the start.
“No! No, it’s a trick! It can’t be true!” the stallion on this side of the glass shouted.
"That's impossible!"
Not the biggest fan of solution by Pinkie sense and mirror. Twilight's felt more natural.
She’d outright said that Goldenblood served the Eater. That he was a no good badpony… It was almost quaint, considering other badponies I’d met.
I don't know who you've met that really leaves Goldenblood as "quaint." Maybe Cogs and Amadi? But those are both pretty new to you, at least knowledge of what they really are. And that still leaves all the others.
For several seconds, nothing happened. Then two lines popped up.
>ANSWERS ACCEPTABLE.
>ACCESS GRANTED. WELCOME, EXECUTIONER.
OH MY GOD THIS IS WONDERFUL.
The question becomes, can she be his executioner? On the one hand, some of the Word of God has suggested it'll happen, and especially with what Lighthooves ended up as, I'm not sure that was it. On the other hand, in general, the more Blackjack's known, the less inclined she's been to go through with it. And there's almost the point here that the greater punishment, now as at every point since Littlehorn, would be life.
Wait. What? I stared at the words as field dropped, then tore my eyes away as the door ahead opened. Beyond was a room not much bigger than this one but packed with strange equipment that beeped and clicked, cool mist creeping around the devices. In the center of it was a pod just like the ones in the Fluttershy Medical Center. Within lay the reposed stallion, and upon his head a mesh just like the one Cognitum had used to transfer my memory. Beside the pod was a machine identical to the ones I’d been hooked up to in Happyhorn. A dozen monitors were arranged facing the door; when I stepped in, they flickered to life with a dozen green images of Goldenblood.
Not quite S.P. 3, but good. Too bad there are no crystals, though.
“Indeed. Repurposed by the M.o.M. and M.o.P. to extract every last detail of the accused’s life. Any memory can be used against the accused in a court of law.
Somehow I doubt Fluttershy would be okay with that. Pinkie maybe, even if not right at the end.
A different screen began to scroll with words like ‘Burning Alive’, ‘Defenestration from Shadowbolt Tower’, and ‘Drawing and Quartering’.
Hmm. The first seems a waste given he already suffered through chemical burns for the last decade of his life outside. No longer an option. What, we've dropped the "hanging" part, now? Or is he just too weak from a respiratory standpoint to be expected to live through it for the drawing and quartering?
I shook my head. “I want to talk to him. Let him go.”
What I was expecting. Glad to see it.
No, I’m afraid only an executioner will do. Please make your selection, or you will have to be disintegrated.”
“What?” I shouted. Seriously, I couldn’t win with robots! “Why?”
“Password security. Can’t have you writing the answers on the door.
Okay, that's both hilarious and pretty well in keeping with Goldenblood's own history and methods, if a little indiscriminate.
A unicorn glanced at the scarred stallion, then said in a low voice, “Yes, Officer Lionheart. He’s drugged to the tip of his horn, sir. He keeps on trying to rant and rail, but he shouldn’t cause a fuss.”
. . . Okay, he's back, but why as an officer and an interrogator? Just a double duty thing? I mean, I get why it'd be someone we've seen working for Goldenblood before, but why Lionheart?
On her right, however, sat six seats adorned with the ministry icons. Only one was occupied; Rarity sat stiff as a board, her eyes fixed on her hooves. The seat for princess Celestia was also vacant.
“Mistake…” Goldenblood murmured.
“Yes, you made a mistake. But it’s too late to–”
“No. Princess Luna,” Goldenblood muttered. “She shouldn’t have empty seats. Makes her look weak.” The batpony stared at him incredulously, and the corner of the scarred unicorn’s mouth curled. “Should have filled them with representatives.”
Yeah, Goldenblood knows how to go out.
“Were that the times allowed Us to banish him for a thousand years, but even that would be insufficient for his deeds and conspiracies. He has plotted the overthrow of Our crown and the death of Our beloved sister. There is no imprisonment, exile, or banishment sufficient for one of his evil.”
I trust Luna is aware of the irony of what she's saying, that her own banishment was less than what was warranted.
Speakers turned on. Goldenblood’s harsh breathing filled the plaza, a touch of deep reverb with every breath, and then there came a deep and angry tirade, full of insults and rage, started against the weak, ineffectual, pathetic people of Equestria. The Goldenblood present in person sat quietly, a small smile on his face. His eyes were locked on Rarity, but the mare didn’t meet his gaze. When the recording ended, Luna said solemnly, “As you can see, his contempt is absolute, his loathing for our people unflinching. Thus, it is Our solemn and unwelcome duty to condemn Goldenblood to death.”
Bringing us back around to Glory's "confession"
She scooped up another handful of gems. In the midst of the heap was a large hoof-sized chunk of bubblegum-pink quartz. It seemed to have a silver ring set about it, and a talisman glyph glowed in the middle.
“Wait!” Goldenblood rasped, but he was too weak. Too slow. Too late. The gemstones tumbled into her maw, and she smacked her lips. Goldenblood struggled to his hooves. “Where did you get those gemstones?”
Well, was it always the case that she had eaten the talisman? I suppose this does make it clearer why getting rid of the dragon would fix things, when other talismans are capable of continuing on seemingly indefinitely.
The same mist covered Goldenblood, but at most all it caused was the faintest irritation. He hammered his hooves against the bars, but it availed him nothing.
Okay, so maybe he's one now. On the other hand, that wouldn't necessarily explain why the gas wasn't hurting him during the transition.
He starred as it began to flow down numerous side tunnels. “No... they’ll funnel it to every square mile of Canterlot! If it gets into the storm drains and sewers, every home and residence will be hit!”
"I'm delivering exposition!"
Everypony froze, staring in shock as the world seemed to scream around them, and then the whistle dropped to nothing.
The broadcasters? Could be, but then why would it stop?
“I’m sorry, Darling. This mist has gotten so accursedly dark,” she said as she tugged her hoof. “And I fear that I am stuck,” she added quietly. “Who is it... you sound like...” She stilled. “No. It’s impossible... unless... I’m dead?”
“No, Rarity. No. It was a show,” Goldenblood said quietly as he moved closer to her. “I think she just wanted a few months to interrogate me properly.”
“Ah,” the mare breathed softly. “So bothersome not to be forwarded the memo.”
Likewise, Rarity knows how to perform unto the end. It just wouldn't do to have a graceless last conversation, would it?
“It is only fitting. May it find somepony more worthy.” She closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks. “I wished to rule for a thousand years. To prove to my people that I was kind and loving, that I would care for them and protect them from the things they feared. That I was not Nightmare Moon. My reign was a mere hundredth of that, and I protected them from naught!” She spasmed in pain. “At the very least, I can do this. Protect the people of my land for a while longer.”
Didn't even last thirteen years.
More seriously, this was one of the reasons I've tended to have faith in how things would turn out after the war, given an Equestrian victory.
His last conversation with Luna is pretty touching.
And then the rabbit stopped holding back. In a series of kicks so swift that the beast could barely be seen, Goldenblood was flipped backwards into the air, slammed back down into the hillside, and struck so hard that all he could do was curl up. Every time his horn glowed, a white furry foot struck the spire, shattering his focus.
Okay, this seems much too durable for him to just be a crippled and weakened normal.
. . . Okay, maybe not.
“Goldenblood, I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t about you. I agree, you fucked up big time. I have to admit, I’m pretty good at doing that myself, but you beat me hooves down. Congratulations.”
This might be the best example of her taking P-21's admonition to heart and living it. Sure, it's not being applied to herself, but in a way, since he's the mirror of her from the past, it still works.
“Oh for the love of...” I muttered. “Yes. You did bad things. Really bad things. So have I. In some ways, worse things than you. No pony’s perfect. The difference is, I haven’t shoved myself into a computer waiting for somepony else to come along and put me down.”
Of course, that's not to say I've never done analogous things, but the point stands that that's not what I'm doing right now!
“Scoodle. Fluttershy Medical Center. Brimstone’s Fall. My home. Almost killing myself. P-21. Going underground. Fallen Arch. Using Folly on the Celestia. Not dying. Neglecting my friends. Endless self-loathing. Yellow River. Boing.” I hesitated, tilting my head. “Stygius... eh...” Then I glared at him again and resumed jabbing.
Nice.
“I don’t know. Ancient legendary abominations seldom have warnings such as ‘may resemble impossibly advanced technology’, and most alien technology fails to point out features like ‘unholy souls may be present’. Regardless, both outcomes are undesirable and frequently inevitable,”
They've come across both of those before, and often enough to know that each is often but not always inevitable? Could've been the freaking Pony X-Files, or Mares in Black.
“Yes. It would be the ultimate stable,” he said as a second stable diagram appeared. The Big Macintosh Megastable was even bigger than I could have imagined. “Built under the premise of being exclusively for Equestria’s elite and government agents, at least those who could reach it instead of having to shelter in Stable One, it wasn’t hard to get permission and materials. Few realized that it was shifted into the shadow world, where the power of the detonation would miss it entirely. The idea was simple. If EC-1101 was ever deleted, say by a tyrant who had had an interest in there being no way to transfer her power, or if it could not find a successor, say because the zebras killed us all, then Horizons would be activated.”
Oh, so maybe Scootaloo was in on it deeper than I expected? She just might have been disillusioned enough to go for the reset angle.
“Yes,” he answered solemnly. “There’s a star spirit bound within the moonstone.”
WHAAA . . . ?
swicked: IT’S A MATHACRE!
But you're (LM) Rarity, and then Celestia, not Twist! (Also maybe Trixie at some point?)
Bronode: No, we’re ‘MERRY WITH TIREDNESS’.)
Merry with tiredness was actually one of the things that pushed me in the direction of ponies, if not what ended up pulling me in in the end. Maybe it's better not to go into the details. Anyway, the first I watched of the show, actually, was some of the clusterfuck at the end of "Best Night Ever," which I saw streaming the next morning (or maybe a day or two after) (also, implying there wasn't continuous work from night to morning) as the project manager of the team on the project was watching it while hanging out by the printer and putting reports together. Good times.
- Chapter Sixty Seven Overall Thoughts:
In a way, I'm conflicted about the Littlehorn orb. It sort of drew back into a situation where it was the work of a lone rogue, so really nobody's fault but the teachers who made up the thing about it being done by "the zebras." And I guess that's sort of in keeping with the spirit of FoE, but at the same time that may be a little diluted by it being him acting as an agent provocateur. I don't understand why Goldenblood couldn't have gone out to clarify things, but I suppose if he were recovering for a significant period of time, then by the time he could say what really happened, the narrative would be too self-sustaining, especially if it came after the "extended absence" announcement. Oh, and the zebra background was cool.
The one with Twilight in some ways felt like the one where the real keys were. It's hard, though, to believe that there really was just an epiphany there, though it could also have been the final realization of some unconscious doubts building for some time. I will say, though, that he seemed to be going pretty lax on some of the answers he gave, possibly out of guilt and doubt, but perhaps to avoid pushing Twilight too hard. I still don't understand why they couldn't have at least tried to sell the Gardens as an industrial waste cleanup project. I guess that while it might get passed up as not a treasonous lack of confidence, it might be forcibly back-burnered until the end of the war since it would just be a lower priority. Anyway, it's not too hard to see why Luna would be afraid of the Elements being used against her again, but I have to wonder why she never took them under her own control. I guess she may still have needed them. But there are some other questions, like why Twilight had the Element of Magic on, and what exactly they were trying to do with them when the activation failed. Oh, Scruffy was, I think, a pretty good background character, too. Wonder what did end up happening to the Crystal Empire, since that was brought up. Simplest answer is probably it got hit with the rest, and for all that they could have shielded, there wasn't forewarning (bit of a problem with the cruise missiles, though). Of course, given that they had a princess there, too, they may also have got a special package.
Oh, anyway, I'm not sure if there was ever really a reason for Lionheart to be involved here. I hope one will be introduced in a later chapter, because unlike the tie-in with Lyra being melted into the bench, which was never anything more than a sight gag and fandom reference even in the original, this is real characters, and it'd be nice if there was a purpose or specific logic behind the connection beyond "there would be batponies involved, so why not a known character?"
The Pinkie orb was mixed for me. For one thing, Goldenblood just losing his cool like that didn't seem like him. Maybe he was just past the point of caring, or deeply under the sway of the Eater and that was messing with him. Maybe if it was one of those, it was meant as a parallel to Pinkie herself. I don't know. Anyway, while of course it was necessary that he somehow come to realize he had become the Eater's slave, I wish there had been another way than Pinkie and her mirror of plot device.
At the start, the atmosphere and scenery were very good, and the bit with Steven Magnet was necessary to keep things moving, some nice description on its own, and was a useful reminder of how the ministry mares were affecting even those who had played some important role in their lives and initial development. Interesting that all the members of the royal family have such different afflictions, and that the parents have red eyes but the children both amber. Anyway, is it just me, and my apparent instinctive shipping ways, or does Tenebra come across as jealous of Whisper, for all her complaints about her brother and the arranged incest thing? Also, given her whole propriety schtick, I thought that the "hey wanna bang sometime" thing to Blackjack in front of her own mother was a little out of the blue. And sure, she's probably heard about Blackjack's non-monagamous ways, but man, the timing, if I'm right the jealousy, it all just felt weird. Blackjack handled it well, though, and the sneeze was some of the better comedy in the chapter, especially with how Blackjack had brought it up earlier.
So. The conversation with Goldenblood. Good points included the non-execution bit, and Blackjack's delivery of both her do better and P-21's (and others') it's not about you were pretty well done. Nice to get some more answers, and I wonder just what the other problems with the plan are (I'd figure that at some point they'd have started on workarounds for each discovered). As for why, that seems about in line with what I'd expected. And oh, that stinger ending. How that was managed I'll be interested to see, and wonder about the potential effect. Of course, if the Eater gets what it wants, then it can probably use it to jump-start itself even more than the Moonstone.
- Chapter Sixty Seven Editing:
"with no idea"
At this point, I could come across Rarity's brain in a levitating robot, a pinkie pie spritebot, or the ghost of Applejack and not been terribly surprised.
"Pinkie Pie"
struggled to find words. “Stygius and father aside,
only one space after period, "father" should be capitalized
then half siblings…” she shook her head. “Genetic death.”
"she" should be capitalized
She's repeating herself here. How about
only one space after the period
“Princess Luna’s capitol,” she said with a wing sweep
"capital"
I didn’t like the pony war, hated it, in fact, but bad things happened to non-ponies who didn’t support the ministry’s war effort.
"ministries' "?
Her expression sombered immediately.
I don't think "somber" is a verb. And unless she became sad in addition to serious, "sobered" might be a better fit anyway.
“How big is this place?” I said as I gaped at the map on the directory.
should have only one space after quotation
I’m sure between us we can get father to relent!”
"father" should be capitalized
“Come daughter. She’ll return on her own later,”
comma after "Come"
My grades haven’t been good since mum… ahem…”
should "mum" be capitalized?
“What do you mean?” Goldenblood asked, glancing down at him.
should have only one space after quotation
“All of them.” Icebrand said as he shuffled
period should be comma, should have only one space after quotation
They’re not going to hide a hundred bits worth of equipment you can buy at any
"bits' worth"
They’re not curses! They’re-“ she began to
second hyphen/make dash
The zebra clasped the talisman in his hooves as they both went over. The onlookers screaming in terror.
either first period should be comma, or "screaming" should be "screamed"
Goldenblood desperately hammered the elevator control and winced a little patch of the pad remained behind.
"winced as a little patch"
Who did this? How?” The mare asked as tears streaked down her cheek.
"The" shouldn't be capitalized
one reporter finally said. Princess Luna’s mouth worked
only one space after period
Clear them out discretely.
"discreetly"
So what is all this for?” Twilight asked.
should have only one space after quotation
and then said, “You’re right.
there should be only one space after the comma
in a uniform says ‘war effort’, and the
should be only one space after "says"
To me, it was an adventure, but mother travelled to keep me safe from father.
"mother" and "father" should be capitalized
“Keepin ya from those Carnilia fillies was more a chore,” Scruffy chuckled.
apostrophe for "Keepin"
dreamed of this place. When mother died and
only one space after period, "mother" should be capitalized
Certainly, father didn’t make things easy for me
"Father"
“Yeah, right. ‘Love Equestria?’ Really
Question mark to outside of quotation marks
Otherwise, we may with the war, but Equestria may lose its very
"win"
Smoke rose into the sky he calmly walked back the way he came, fire in his wake.
"as he calmly walked"
I doubted the zebra would have let Luna go for any peace project.
"zebras"
was flat and dull. "Dark shadows lay under
delete the quotation mark
“That’s what my Pinkie sense is telling me.”
"sense" should be capitalized
“The Cakes! Spike! Twilight... goddess! Murky... how...”
should "goddess" be capitalized?
“You should get out of here director,” Pound growled, hugging Pinkie
comma after "here"
Show her how... Show... Be what you are...”
need second space after first ellipsis
She’s crazy. Just like mother...”
"mother" should be capitalized
surrounded by a dozen pegasi, unicorn, and batpony guards
"pegasus"
“This pony has betrayed her Majesty, and all of us.
But we do not decide for her Majesty. We execute her Majesty’s decisions.
should "her" be capitalized?
blasted out across her horde like burning napalm
splashing across more of the horde as she thrashed.
"hoard"
He starred as it began to flow down numerous side tunnels
"stared"
“I... I can’t move... Why...”
should have second space after second ellipsis
“I always was... too generous... for my own good...” Rarity murmured.
should have only one space after quotation
But I was manipulated, your majesty.
At least "majesty" should be capitalized
“What about Luna’s fuckups? What about Celestia’s? What about Twilight and her friends?
apostrophe for "friends"?
‘poor Euclopian pony’,” Goldenblood said with a
should have only one space after quotation
Atop her head perched a tiara with a six pointed star atop it.
I'd suggest rewording so that one of the "atop"s is gone. The simplest would probably be replacing the first with "On."
- Other Editing:
But I do. My pinkie sense… I know! We’re going to die, or worse.
"Pinkie Sense"
As ever, many thanks to Somber and the editing crew for showing me a good time. On the time between updates, don't worry: you're a gem (collection of gems). This chapter, for example, you only were working at a rate of 260,000 words per year. For shame.
…Ah, you seem to have kind of missed the bigger issue there, namely that that bit was part of a comment that got into the chapter text somehow. :DIcy Shake wrote:She's repeating herself here. How about
only one space after the period
Someone else spotted it almost right away, but apparently you took your copy before that.
The second one ought to be "Eponstar" too, I think, actually.Icy Shake wrote:There were two of them . . .
Ah, so you did see that. Just so you know, you must have moved on before I finished; the current version is "Her words echoed in my head, but again everything came down to that one question: Why? Why did Goldenblood" etc.Icy Shake wrote:That's a first. I actually saw the changes happen here. And a good thing, too, because I was really confused by what looked a lot like editor's comments in the text itself.
…Are you shipping Tenebra and Stygius? :D
Pah, the rules aren't that complicated, are they?Icy Shake wrote:Umm . . . becoming the head of security?
No, that was Heartshine, I believe. She is the team medicalpony.swicked wrote:Hinds even quoted the same stuff you did, in fact.
But yes. Blackjack saying that she knows enough to do that is completely accurate, because she really doesn't know much about this. :)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:21 am
@Hinds, re Tenebra and Stygius: Not exactly, since he's clearly not into her. But after this chapter I just can't not see the jealousy and envy in the other direction anymore! Even there, it might not be entirely shippy, but more of a generalized attention thing.
Now that you mention it, I think you're right.swicked wrote:Icy Shake wrote:
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
And I don't think the little filly with the pink cloud cutie mark breathed it, did she? I just remember her being a unicorn that could manipulate and/or create it with magic.
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