Fallout Equestria: Broken Bonds.

Katarn wrote:Between army, navy and marines? Does Air Force have their own unique one?

CamoBadger wrote:@Hooah: actually this is the army version. Hoorah is Marines...you insult me by saying otherwise  

And that all makes sense, thank ya kindly and great work on the chapter.

CamoBait:

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Ketchup wrote:Got around to reading 21, finally.
Last time I read your story was May because I didn't read this one as it came out. Didn't seem that long.

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Couldn't like this one. I tried to remain constructive in criticism but I'm afraid my sarcasm was a bit overdone. If anything needs clarification say so. I'll read the next at the very least. I'm really not picky about individual chapters if the story has promise.
Apologies.

Mercy:

You say it's very video game like, but then it's happened in real life as well. It's not recommended because real life is a lot riskier than any game but there has been times where a single person with the opportunity to move has been able to open up a whole new window of opportunity with the element of surprise. Or twisted around, where a group of six managed to defend a whole apartment building from an army - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlov%27s_House

Looking up the meaning of bien, I suppose I managed to imply the right thing with flamethrower man.
His armour being flame retardant was literally only meant to be for when he was shooting it and not implying that his tank exploded, hence shooting him in the face - but I think you see that I meant that, so cool cool.

Mercy:

Your comment about it being predictable is a little backwards, no?
I'm assuming you mean Crimson. Fact is you've got to accept he's got plot armour until the time is ready but at the same time I don't want to keep him away from any intense fighting just because the risk of showing off his plot armour because that in itself would be an even bigger sign of plot armour.
Sorry, but this is one of those things that if I interpret the reader (of any fic, not just my own) wrong and think they're whining, I find it annoying as all fuck. Of course there's plot armour otherwise he'd have died at either the wolves or the bandit attack back in Coltshire Commons.

We're working on Fallout logic here. A light helmet won't do shit against anything other than melee attacks but a heavy helmet like the BoS use in-game is supposed to be able to take quite a lot of punishment to the face and continue working as protection. Sure, in real life you'd likely snap your neck from wearing it alone before you've even got the force of a bullet, but game-logic.
So that's what that's about. Fallout logic for the helmet the bandit was wearing.

The 'strangely worded sentence' is a typo. Reread it as 'then' and see how much more sense it makes.

It's because he's a med-x abuser. Nothing more than that.
Tsunami wasn't expecting to find out that he's a junkie and if she had known it from the start rather than simply suspected it when he asks for more, she would have understood how the hell his body can handle it without freaking out.
What's so hard to understand about that? Really?

Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback. I know some of this may seem a little off but I'm not the type to simply roll over and let anyone say anything just because I want the attention of any kind. I appreciate that you're doing it for me I just have my reasons for things and get more defensive than I should over it.

Ketchup wrote:

You say it's very video game like, but then it's happened in real life as well. It's not recommended because real life is a lot riskier than any game but there has been times where a single person with the opportunity to move has been able to open up a whole new window of opportunity with the element of surprise. Or twisted around, where a group of six managed to defend a whole apartment building from an army - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlov%27s_House

Oh yes, it happens, albeit rarely. Not really the point, though. Crimson, as I interpreted it, was dodging lines of fire that were probably pre-established. I know he's a pegasus and was on drugs, but it just seems unrealistic, even in setting.

Looking up the meaning of bien, I suppose I managed to imply the right thing with flamethrower man.
His armour being flame retardant was literally only meant to be for when he was shooting it and not implying that his tank exploded, hence shooting him in the face - but I think you see that I meant that, so cool cool.

Bien is French for 'good' as I learned it but does not literally mean that.
And yeah.

Mercy:

I'm sure it does. Many things in your story are said to develop later.

Your comment about it being predictable is a little backwards, no?
I'm assuming you mean Crimson. Fact is you've got to accept he's got plot armour until the time is ready but at the same time I don't want to keep him away from any intense fighting just because the risk of showing off his plot armour because that in itself would be an even bigger sign of plot armour.
Sorry, but this is one of those things that if I interpret the reader (of any fic, not just my own) wrong and think they're whining, I find it annoying as all fuck. Of course there's plot armour otherwise he'd have died at either the wolves or the bandit attack back in Coltshire Commons.

Not quite, actually. Him doing all that stuff all by himself shows off his plot armour to me, precisely the opposite. What I meant by predictable is that his buddies distracted them just when needed. I should have clarified. I understand the requirement for plot armour, but I prefer more subtle approaches than having bullets graze or bounce off more often than not.

We're working on Fallout logic here. A light helmet won't do shit against anything other than melee attacks but a heavy helmet like the BoS use in-game is supposed to be able to take quite a lot of punishment to the face and continue working as protection. Sure, in real life you'd likely snap your neck from wearing it alone before you've even got the force of a bullet, but game-logic.
So that's what that's about. Fallout logic for the helmet the bandit was wearing.

Been too long, gotta get a bit back into the fantasticism of the setting a bit more.

The 'strangely worded sentence' is a typo. Reread it as 'then' and see how much more sense it makes.

It makes more sense, sure, but I still don't think it flows very well. It has an odd structure for that kind of sentence, it "wasn't to be seen" can be replaced by more concise structures.

It's because he's a med-x abuser. Nothing more than that.
Tsunami wasn't expecting to find out that he's a junkie and if she had known it from the start rather than simply suspected it when he asks for more, she would have understood how the hell his body can handle it without freaking out.
What's so hard to understand about that? Really?

It was that she immediately goes to the med-x. The other drugs didn't concern her at all. Shouldn't those also have negative effects on the user's abilities after they 'wear off' a la Fallout? I know they do in Fo:E. If med-x is reasoned to bestow tolerance to other drugs too, I don't think that's really how it works but I could be totally wrong. Ingesting caffeine regularly doesn't make you less effected by painkillers, for a rough metaphor.
The sheer endurance was also offsetting.

Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback. I know some of this may seem a little off but I'm not the type to simply roll over and let anyone say anything just because I want the attention of any kind. I appreciate that you're doing it for me I just have my reasons for things and get more defensive than I should over it.

A defensive response is expected to most criticism, mine was very offensive compared to my usual fare, too, for which I apologize. So I understand to a degree.

The point of these is to give feedback, what I felt could be done better, what I liked, what I disliked. Usually more emphasis is placed upon positive comments but I quite honestly had very few. My interpretations may be not what you intended, either, but there's not much that you can do to account for that aside from writing in a different style, which is impractical.

Kippershy wrote:You have a fair point, though by this point we've established I suck at combat in terms of your tastes.
You're not the only one to think so, I'm pretty sure I suck in writing combat altogether, but by this point I'm going to tell you it's not likely going to improve because I honestly don't believe it will.

I'm slow to implement or divulge things I consider to be a big issue most of the time. The development of many things in my story could have come a lot sooner and judging by the way you say that, you would have preferred it. However, I prefer the slow approach so I can have more time to build up to it and not make it feel like a quick change.
Crimson's change from slut to romantic was a damn quick change, in complete opposite of my usual preference, but if you ever get yourself into a relationship that's like that, you'll understand.
You likely will find a relationship that does that to you, most people do. True that it's sped up because of literature and my designs, but if you ever find that someone who makes your head spin by the mere thought of them and the thoughts of them just won't stop, you'll understand why I chose to go so fast with that while everything else is slow.
We're beginning to see things that you won't appreciate for a while yet, however.

With the plot armour - you've got a choice.
You can either whine that I'm having too many bullets miss, too many bullets graze and ping off - or you can whine that Crimson doesn't come out of the medical bay - ever.
Which, if I remember correctly, you like Murky Number Seven, right?
With that said, you'd probably not whine if he never left the medical bay. But what I mean is, fuck that shit. I'm not pulling a fucking MN7 and having my MC in the medical bay every day of his life because that's what I've established wounds to do, no?
How many times has Crimson needed medical help because of a fight going wrong? How many times has he blacked out or been rescued because he's been overwhelmed?
Fact is, it's my style. He's going to either get lucky or be fucked up and have injuries that don't flash away in an instant through a healing potion.

You completely forget a big issue here.
Crimson is med-x tolerant.
He's not Buck tolerant. Nor is he a proper medic, he simply knows some basic first aid and some simple stuff from that time he read the doctors books.
When he thought the drugs were wearing off, it was actually the adrenaline running down and the med-x beginning to wear off already given the extreme nature of his wound.
The 'Buck Up' wasn't ending fully, the med-x was.
That's why he was so desperate for more. He didn't know it consciously to be the reason, but his body was begging for more because the cocktail requires it to be [as] effective.
Substituting with a healing potion is a very, very short-term fix and he only got energy again through another adrenaline rush before - guess what? the drugs wore off entirely and he passed out.
Crimson is tolerant to med-x because his abuse and addiction. This messes up all med-x based healing methods.

Still, I'm not trying to tear your head off and nor "should" I even be anything but listening and not saying a thing in return that counters your points, if what I hear is true about accepting criticism.
Despite that though, I just don't have it in me not to respond honestly. I just hope you don't take it as me telling you to fuck off or nout.

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Kippershy wrote:No, no it couldn't be a few chapters. That's the issue, Ketch. You COMPLETELY misunderstand the PLAC arc.
Coltchester isn't a short stop-off. Coltchester is where the story really tells itself. Coltchester is the story.
Four Ridges? Four Ridges has it's part to play of course, we will be seeing more of it and it'll never be left to be forgotten or anything, but Coltchester and the revolution is about the chunkiest piece of the story.
Getting it done in 'a few chapters' would do it no justice and mean that by that kind of thought, the story would be over by now or at 25.
It won't be.
It's got a long while yet, so here's my words of advice and there's no malice in them - just warning: If you don't want a slow progression, if you don't want to be hearing about Coltchester, if you don't want to be dealing with all of this type of stuff, leave the story now.
I'm not saying I don't want you around, but the fact is the story is the story and no matter what you say I will not change that one bit.
Again, not that I don't want you, but neither do I want to mislead you and make you think this is something it isn't.

I'll keep in mind to start using healing potions for smaller wounds, though yeah, like you say, I was never one for the instant quick fix of a healing potion because I find it to be a cheap way out of injury. The fact you can just chug a potion - or two if it's serious - and then be restored from any ill doesn't sit with me.
And don't worry about telling me your opinion on things. I'd honestly rather you stopped giving me reviews at all if you weren't to give me your opinions no matter how much "childish whining" there is in them then to give me opinions that just kiss ass so there's nothing I can disagree with you about (when it's not how you really feel.)
Even when I'm disagreeing with you, even when I feel you've said something before and it's not something I can do much about, I'd rather have the genuine package so at least there's some chance that I'll be able to use it for improvement should it be something I can work on.
Oh, and sorry for getting you mixed up then. Could've sworn that you read MN7 but obviously I was thinking of someone else then. And yes, I dislike MN7. Like PH it has brilliant technical writing but the content itself is often drab in my own opinion. Too long, too much whining and crying, not the feel nor style I'm keen on.

As for Crimson's drug/wound issue, I know it's a confusing state but we'll hear more about that in 23. 22 went to Cherry and 23 goes back to Crimson.
Like I said however, the trouble was we saw it from his perspective and because he's not fully trained like Tsunami is for example, he has misconceptions on what is actually happening to him.

I know I've told you now in this post, quite literally 'yeah, this is how it is and if you don't like it I won't lie it ain't changing' but again, that's only so I don't mislead you into thinking it is.
Broken Bonds is a slow progressing story with the heart of the tale set in Coltchester and I don't want you to believe it'll be changing any day now. It won't be.
If you don't enjoy it, I don't expect you to hang around in hopes it'll get better because for you it likely won't.
As for the rest of my comments, I apologise if I come off as harsh. I just feel that I've gotta keep everything explained because it's my baby and no matter what anyone says, there's a lot more thought and rationality behind everything that I do with the exclusion of very, very few scenes that come off the top of my head.
The trouble is it is a slow progressing story and you readers have no clue just how much has an explanation, has a reason, has a damn thorough thought process.
None of you bar Katarn know anything of my plans and even he hasn't got the absolute smallest details because they exist only in my head right now until the time is right to share them.
The story is starting to show some of them with 22, but again, I like my stuff slow.

Kippershy wrote:So, while thinking about things, I came to an interesting idea that I wanna ask my readers - you.
Crimson's love life is the topic here. I want to know what people think is going to happen both short term and long term.
Who is Crimson going to end up with? Will he stay faithful or cave in? Will he move on? Will one of the other two move on and allow him to get with the other mare?

See, here's the thing. Everyone probably has their ideas of what they want to happen and perhaps what they think will happen if it's not the same thing.

Crimson getting with Eos while Cherry is away would be heartbreak for Cherry if she found out and thanks to her special forces buddies, there's little chance that Crimson would be able to hide something like that.
It could cause tension or total breakdown of their relationship and mean the end of it all. While Crimson would be hurt, Eos would more than happily sweep him up and take him as her own.

Crimson ignoring Eos and sticking with Cherry would hurt Eos. Would she be able to handle the rejection and still feel the same about Crimson? Would she still want him around to help out or keep up to their end of the bargain with his help? Would she keep at it and desperately hope that Crimson would see just how much he means to her and give her a chance?

Or perhaps Cherry would be the one who breaks things and not Crimson? Her interactions with Blueheart are early days for sure but she's just entered some very tough times emotionally and opened herself up only to be taken away from the source of comfort that made her open up in the first place. Blueheart has shown that he thinks Cherry is beautiful and he's been awfully kind to her thus far... what if she were to do something she wouldn't expect from herself?

Then there's the possibility that she would come to find things aren't what she hoped, even if she doesn't do anything with Blueheart and Crimson with Eos, what would happen? Would she? What reasons might she have for something like this?


I know it's unorthodox for an author to ask questions like this because not only does it imply that the author doesn't know or would change what they're planning because of the readers thoughts (don't worry, I've got my plans and I'm sticking to them) and also that it might feel forced rather than genuine topic discussion from an organic source (readers) and I apologise, but I'm interested in hearing thoughts.
I know there's people with different ideas out there, I've seen glimpses of them, but I'm interested in seeing if anyone feels like giving me a full discussion about the issue.

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