Sister forum[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:46 am
Well it's not perfect, but I tried.SilentCarto wrote:Okay, someone needs to draw BJ and Boo as the main characters of Utena now. Please?
http://wavemasterryx.tumblr.com/post/45548753464[/quote]
Oh my god. I love it! Thank you! I'm giggling like a mental patient right now. And that sword looks exactly like my mental version of the Starmetal Sword...
Ehehehe... guess I have a new avatar.
Yeah, ever since I started using some proper source control at work, I've been addicted to Diff tools...Caoimhe wrote:I comparemerged the old and new copy, looks like pages 39-44 have the biggest changes overall (naturally) which were completely rewritten. Still poking through it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Downloaded Skill Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:51 am
Thats what I was getting at with my zebra magic fetish question earlier. If there were zebras dedicated to using the magic fetishes / charms to either attack with elemental magic or support allies with barriers / flight and the like the Legate would seem less out of place.
Also 100 posts. Earth pony master race, P-21 best pony.
Also 100 posts. Earth pony master race, P-21 best pony.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Derpmind Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:51 am
I'm going to have to read it again after I sleep, but...
(REVISED 2013-03-16) <-- I don't think this is obvious enough. If it was a noticeable color, like glaring bolded red, I'd let it pass, but as is it's the the kind of thing one wouldn't notice they missed. "...but as is it's the the kind of thing..."
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 22 2113965524](https://2img.net/u/2516/12/35/12/smiles/2113965524.png)
So most importantly, I wish I could forget the original version of the scene. Everyone talking about it has scarred the memory in my brain, and that sucks because the new version is so much better it hurts. Thank you again, Somber.
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 22 2066584637](https://2img.net/u/2516/12/35/12/smiles/2066584637.png)
There were a few lines scattered everywhere that were changed or added in. Small stuff, but the ones I noticed all seemed to flesh stuff out more.Downloaded Skill wrote:Right so I read through the revised chapter.
Unless I missed something the changed parts were BJ and Lacunae's chat
after the bridge incident, the hellhound fight, and the legate fight. I
honestly think this version is far superior to the original. I just wish
Somber didn't have to go through hell for it.
(REVISED 2013-03-16) <-- I don't think this is obvious enough. If it was a noticeable color, like glaring bolded red, I'd let it pass, but as is it's the the kind of thing one wouldn't notice they missed. "...but as is it's the the kind of thing..."
So most importantly, I wish I could forget the original version of the scene. Everyone talking about it has scarred the memory in my brain, and that sucks because the new version is so much better it hurts. Thank you again, Somber.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:04 am
All of you deserve a good story. I just wish... sigh... anyway... now that 54 is set, I can work on 55.
One of the things I had to do was make it a duel between BJ and the Legate. That let me get away with not having him overpower all her friends simultaneously, which resulted in the jump in power to rediculous levels. I tried three different versions... one elemental, one precognitive / lucky, and one 'kinetic' and all of them were just... horrid...
Mostly, it's thanks of Hinds and Bro for helping me fix it up and make it tighter.
One of the things I had to do was make it a duel between BJ and the Legate. That let me get away with not having him overpower all her friends simultaneously, which resulted in the jump in power to rediculous levels. I tried three different versions... one elemental, one precognitive / lucky, and one 'kinetic' and all of them were just... horrid...
Mostly, it's thanks of Hinds and Bro for helping me fix it up and make it tighter.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Derpmind Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:15 am
I could analyze the fight scene and give a lecture on how technically accomplished it is. I know some of the people here can do poetry, too. You deserve a fantastic compliment, but I'm not eloquent enough for that. I've only got my honest words here to say thank you for continually being better than yourself. The Somber of last year wouldn't believe the things you've written today.Somber wrote:All of you deserve a good story. I just wish... sigh... anyway... now that 54 is set, I can work on 55.
See? You're standing on the shoulders of your gigantic failure corpses! Don't stop climbing yourself higher!Somber wrote: I tried three different versions... one elemental, one precognitive /
lucky, and one 'kinetic' and all of them were just... horrid...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Quotidian Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:25 am
That one's going in the quote book.Derpmind wrote:See? You're standing on the shoulders of your gigantic failure corpses! Don't stop climbing yourself higher!
Hear that? No? Lean your head in reaaaal closely. Closer. Closer.Somber wrote:All of you deserve a good story. I just wish... sigh...
*SMACK*
That's the sound of you beating yourself up. Knock it off.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:26 am
*giggles* I know, I can be quite the silly pony sometimes.Quotidian wrote:Homonyms are my fetish.
Heh, yay! Well you're most welcome, Silent, I'm very glad that you enjoy it so much.SilentCarto wrote:Oh my god. I love it! Thank you! I'm giggling like a
mental patient right now. And that sword looks exactly like my mental
version of the Starmetal Sword...
Ehehehe... guess I have a new avatar.
*hugs you gently*Somber wrote:All of you deserve a good story. I just wish... sigh... anyway... now that 54 is set, I can work on 55.
I think it's been a wonderful story so far, Somber. Thank you for putting so much work into Project Horizons for us. I really do hope that 55 causes you much less trouble.
*hugs Somber again, Hinds and Bronode too*
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by StoneSlinger88 Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:29 am
Somber, all I have to say is that I'm proud of you. You took a negative situation and got something positive.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Caoimhe Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:32 am
Yay Somber!
He probably is, because he's the most self aware. Thing about a cult of personality is it takes intelligence and control to establish itself, the followers just need to be loyal.
swicked wrote:The thing is, that makes about as much sense to me as saying Kim Jong-un must be the most sane person in North Korea.Caoimhe wrote:I'd expect the leader to be the most cognizant of the group, actually. The followers are devoted and obsessed, but the one behind it all should be stoic and serious. If anything, that's scarier.
He probably is, because he's the most self aware. Thing about a cult of personality is it takes intelligence and control to establish itself, the followers just need to be loyal.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:40 am
Okay, hopefully I've made it more noticeable now.Derpmind wrote:(REVISED 2013-03-16) <-- I don't think this is obvious enough. If it was a noticeable color, like glaring bolded red, I'd let it pass, but as is it's the the kind of thing one wouldn't notice they missed. "...but as is it's the the kind of thing..."
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:46 am
My thoughts on the revisions: I like the revised chapter; I liked it before, too, but the new version is probably an improvement, from my perspective. I like that most of the points that generated some push-back were kept, including the ambush (was the lampshade hanging on the ease of hiding in the rocks new?), the "turbine" conversation (it was good comedy, a quality segue into the cycle conversation, and now I'm trying to remember what Blackjack's nickname was, if it's been mentioned in the past, or will be, if it hasn't), and the "doesn't/maybe don't love" train of thought (which felt appropriate, to me, fitting well with everything I think I know about Blackjack and how she feels about herself).
After reading the Legate fight, I heard Kevin Smith in my mind saying "That was badass." I think that the changes left the fight and the surrounding conversations more impactful, and I love how Lancer was handled (and now he can still be an independent threat!). I kind of saw the end of the fight coming, but it felt just right all the same, especially since it gave the Legate cover to do what he wanted all along.
And, of course, Wavemaster delivers once again.
After reading the Legate fight, I heard Kevin Smith in my mind saying "That was badass." I think that the changes left the fight and the surrounding conversations more impactful, and I love how Lancer was handled (and now he can still be an independent threat!). I kind of saw the end of the fight coming, but it felt just right all the same, especially since it gave the Legate cover to do what he wanted all along.
- short thoughts:
- “I usually just call it my turbine,” Scotch said as she rubbed her chin thoughtfully, then looked at me, “cause it makes me hum.”
Would this be " 'cause "? I don't think "cause" can be used as a conjuction, but maybe I haven't looked hard enough.
She killed people. Lots of people. And if I just served Luna loyally and faithfully, everything would be fine. It wouldn’t be for nothing. “You can’t understand.”
Could the "I" be she? Should it? Maybe this was to emphasize how "she" changed to the point "she" no longer exists, and is just "I". By the way, have I meantioned I like the writing in Project Horizons?
The zebras were as unarmed as the red earth pony, but they moved with the deadly swiftness and strength of Rampage.
If "Rampage" is also a chem I just forgot about (Stampede/Buck + Flash/Dash, maybe?), ignore this. Otherwise, I always got the impression that in the Psalm dreams, the narrator didn't use information available to Blackjack, but not Psalm. If that is the case, this comparison doesn't work.
Like streaking missiles, the Shadowbolts broke formation and engaged the zebra with terrifying speed and force.
I think "zebras" is how you've normally said multiple zebra, except as adjectives.
A frisson ran through me at the sight of the black-armored horde of zebra; the Brood of Coyotl were a silent, ominous lot.
"zebras". Also, frisson is a great word, and a silent, ominous lot beats a superstitious, cowardly lot any day.
And, of course, Wavemaster delivers once again.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:07 am
I really enjoyed the additional banter between BJ and the Legate. In particular,Somber wrote:All of you deserve a good story. I just wish... sigh... anyway... now that 54 is set, I can work on 55.
One of the things I had to do was make it a duel between BJ and the Legate. That let me get away with not having him overpower all her friends simultaneously, which resulted in the jump in power to rediculous levels. I tried three different versions... one elemental, one precognitive / lucky, and one 'kinetic' and all of them were just... horrid...
Mostly, it's thanks of Hinds and Bro for helping me fix it up and make it tighter.
"Murderers. Rapists. Thieves. Slavers. The craven, the callow, and the cruel."
I love how poetic that sounds.
I never had a problem with the Legate fight, but I do admit I like this version better. In particular, I like that Vitiosus doesn't just harrumph and let BJ go because she's too weak, but rather because Lancer's interference spoiled the fairness of the battle. (Or did Lacunae pull the trigger for him? Hee hee hee.)
- Editing:
Nothing huge, just some typos and punctuationy-type stuff.
One of the emerging hellhounds started to strafe in my direction, and Lacunae actually shouted aloud, “Leave her alone!” Before blowing his head apart in a shower of brain and skull.
"Before" should not be capitalized.
He just smiled, from around the ring came an ominous clatter of dozens of weapons being readied simultaneously. “Certainly, if you wish my friends to participate also.”
smiled, and from...
With that the tank rolled further north with my friends, and the striped horde moved off to the east.
With that, the tank...
I spotted a half dozen or so hellhounds watching from to the southwest, through glinting binoculars.
I spotted a half dozen or so hellhounds watching from the southwest through glinting binoculars.
He leapt over my swing in a summersault and smashed his outstretched hooves against my skull, rattling my focus.
somersault
The force of the blow almost put me on my backside as he landed in a crouch and twisting to arrest his momentum in that direction.
twisted
A second later, he reversed the movement of his upper body and like a snapping spring rammed his hoof against the opposite side of my head, knocking me flat on my back on the ground.
upper body, and like...
He pulled the sword out and tossed it aside in the mud. Then he turned and looked towards the zebra. “How dare you!” he roared across the muddy field.
This should say "zebras", shouldn't it? You've used "zebras" as the plural form for the rest of the story and chapter. I'd advise checking every occurrance of the word, because this pops up at least 3 times in this chapter.
Clearly most of the zebra were of Lancer’s opinion.
Clearly, most
“Why not just finish me now. I nearly killed you,”
now?
She’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t get it,” P-21 replied simply. “How are you? ”
Extraneous space before the second close-quote.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:19 am
No, when BJ is dreaming Psalm's past, she effectively is Psalm rather than a separate observer. She's always referred to Psalm in the first person in these. Unlike a memory orb, she thinks Psalm's thoughts and feels her emotions.Icy Shake wrote:She killed people. Lots of people. And if I just served Luna loyally and faithfully, everything would be fine. It wouldn’t be for nothing. “You can’t understand.”
Could the "I" be she? Should it? Maybe this was to emphasize how "she" changed to the point "she" no longer exists, and is just "I". By the way, have I meantioned I like the writing in Project Horizons?
You're right, she should mentally compare it to something Psalm knows, not BJ.Icy Shake wrote:The zebras were as unarmed as the red earth pony, but they moved with the deadly swiftness and strength of Rampage.
If "Rampage" is also a chem I just forgot about (Stampede/Buck + Flash/Dash, maybe?), ignore this. Otherwise, I always got the impression that in the Psalm dreams, the narrator didn't use information available to Blackjack, but not Psalm. If that is the case, this comparison doesn't work.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:28 am
@Icy Shake:
Rampage is a chem, yes, but thank you for the other error spotting (not counting the she/I thing, as you've realized that it isn't a mistake).
@SilentCarto:
And thank you for yours.
Rampage is a chem, yes, but thank you for the other error spotting (not counting the she/I thing, as you've realized that it isn't a mistake).
@SilentCarto:
And thank you for yours.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Overthepacific Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:49 am
Well, I read through the Legate part at least, to see whats up.
Here's what I think about it...
And somber, you really gotta work on that self confidence. You wrote my favorite story ever, and just about everything you write is amazing. There's a reason you have a bunch of six star stuff on eqd.
Here's what I think about it...
- Spoiler:
Starting off, he really seemed to be way too talky. Like the badass zebra leader should be a lot more straightforward. As well as too accepting of Blackjack convincing him not to kill Lancer.
But other than that little tidbit, this is, by a long shot, a vast improvement from the original. The Legate seemed to possess the combat prowess and powers fitting for a Leader of his stature without being overpowered, and it really made a good fight. I felt like BlackJack was actually in danger of him killing her, and vice versa for a moment when she got enraged for a bit. His powers were in a good, believable range, and he really embodied what I thought the Legate should be, for the most part.
Lancer cutting it short was a bit frustrating though, but understandable.
I had a few other complaints, but they werent significant enough for me to remember. So, for this scene, I'd say you nailed it pretty well. I'll feel better telling people to give PH another chance.
And somber, you really gotta work on that self confidence. You wrote my favorite story ever, and just about everything you write is amazing. There's a reason you have a bunch of six star stuff on eqd.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:19 am
Ooh, stuff happened while I was sleeping for most of today! (Which, btw, is not what I should have been doing)
@Wavey
This kicks ass! The lighting and pose are great, and they both just look so happy.
@Revision
Crap, gotta re-read this! Or, well... more like: sweet, I get to re-read this but when will I do so? Well, I anticipate liking it - like I've said, I didn't have any real problem with the chapter as-was, but AFAICR I have really liked every revision that's happened thus far.
@Somber
Thanks for putting in all this extra work into this chapter, and thanks for keeping with this story all this time. It continues to kick copious amounts of ass, and it's always a highlight of my week when a new chapter gets released (even though it seems to always happen when I'm travelling =P). Good luck with 55!
@Wavey
This kicks ass! The lighting and pose are great, and they both just look so happy.
@Revision
Crap, gotta re-read this! Or, well... more like: sweet, I get to re-read this but when will I do so? Well, I anticipate liking it - like I've said, I didn't have any real problem with the chapter as-was, but AFAICR I have really liked every revision that's happened thus far.
@Somber
Thanks for putting in all this extra work into this chapter, and thanks for keeping with this story all this time. It continues to kick copious amounts of ass, and it's always a highlight of my week when a new chapter gets released (even though it seems to always happen when I'm travelling =P). Good luck with 55!
Last edited by Overlong Analysis Cobalt on Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:41 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : there is a difference, actually, between "lighting" and "lightning")
Guest- Guest
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by AGurdel Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:24 am
I ran a diff over the old version I had and the new one. There are a lot smaller changes between the versions but most of them are spelling errors and such and probably unrelated to the revision.
The most notable (thats when TortoiseMerge marks whole text blocks) changes are:
Now I should read my own post to know what changed.
The most notable (thats when TortoiseMerge marks whole text blocks) changes are:
- Spoiler:
Sorry, no fancy markup of the changes...- Celestias assasination:
Old:
New Version:
Maybe it was the sound of my voice, but with a grunt of pain he rose and turned to face my firing position. »What are you thinking, Psalm?«
»Better Celestia a martyr than a prisoner,« I said, and at once Macintosh stepped between me and the Princess. His green eyes stared at me. »Move, Big Macintosh. Please!«
»Anope,« he replied, his gaze level. »Our mission is to protect Celestia. Understand?«
»They'll be on you in a minute! They're going to take her,« I pleaded over the radio. »Please, move!«
»If they do, you and the Marauders will get her back. Understand? I ain't going to move,« he said calmly, steadily, doing what was right. What was right and honorable and true.
»Please, Sergeant. Please...« I begged, tears running down. They'd overpower Big Macintosh in a few seconds, and there were several with batwing talismans. »Don't make me shoot you.«
»Anope. I know you won't, Psalm,« was all he said as he stared at me and smiled. »I know you're a good pony.« He was the best of us. Honorable. True. A good pony with a noble and caring heart.
And I put a bullet straight through it.
He dropped slowly as his face relaxed, fighting every second to protect Celestia. I could barely aim through my tears. I just had to take two more lives, and then I'd be done. The Princess's, and then my own. There was no forgiveness for this. Not for this. But at least Luna would still be able to save other, better ponies than myself.
»Forgive me, Luna, for I have taken the life of another,« I breathed as blinked away the tears and stared at Celestia's head in my crosshairs.
Maybe it was the sound of my voice, but with a grunt of pain he rose and turned to face my firing position. »What are you thinking, Psalm?«
»Better Celestia a martyr than a prisoner,« I said in an almost fevered whisper. »If you can't get her out of there... we'll have to... to... remove her.« Luna would understand. She'd have to.
»What?« Macintosh gasped, and at once he stepped between me and the Princess.
»It's the only way. They'll be on you before help arrives,« I said, trying to be as reasonable as I could. His green eyes stared at me, not with anger or rage but with a tired resignation, as if five years of fighting had settled on him all at once. »Move, Big Macintosh. Please!«
»Anope,« he replied, his gaze level. »Our mission is to protect Celestia. Understand?«
»They'll be on you in a minute! They're going to take her,« I pleaded over the radio. »Please, move!«
He smiled. »I reckon if they do, you and the Marauders will get her back. Understand? I ain't going to move,« he said calmly, steadily, doing what was right. What was right and honorable and true.
»Please, Sergeant. Please...« I begged, tears running down. They'd overpower Big Macintosh in a few seconds, and there were several with batwing talismans. »Don't make me shoot you.«
»Anope. I know you won't, Psalm,« was all he said as he gazed back at me. Slowly, he smiled, trusting me to do what was right. »I know you're a good pony.« He was the best of us. Honorable. True. A good pony with a noble and caring heart.
I put a bullet straight through it.
He wilted slowly as his face relaxed, fighting every second to protect Celestia. When he crumpled, I had a perfect shot at the alicorn's head. I could barely aim through my tears. I just had to take one more life, and then I'd be done. The Princess's, then my own. There was no living with this. Not this. But at least Luna would still be able to save other, better ponies than myself and maybe, somehow, someday, she might...
»Forgive me, Luna, for I have taken the life of another,« I breathed, blinking away tears and staring at Celestia's head in my crosshairs.
- BJ's and Lacunae's talk:
Old:»Then I pulled the trigger,« a solemn voice said inside me. For an instant I was sure that Psalm was now talking to me, but it was the comforting voice of Lacunae. The large purple alicorn landed next to me. »You aren't the only pony with magic, Blackjack.« She'd been all the way back by the tank; how had she reached that far?
»You... but... <i>why</i>?« I mentally stammered back at her.
»Do you know what would have happened if you hadn't killed him? If P-21 or somepony else had been forced to do it for you? You would have become a joke, Blackjack. You want to change the Wasteland? Well, unfortunately, fear has a powerful effect on others. If it became known that you were so merciful that you couldn't kill your own rapist just because he said 'sorry', then every raider with half a brain left would quietly wait for you to pass so that they could prey on others. Your friends would have to kill on your behalf, and it doesn't matter how loving or tough they are; that would poison your relationship with them.«
»I don't want to be a killer,« I said quietly. »I don't want to turn into Psalm. I know what I did at Yellow River... what I'm capable of.«
<i>The Maiden of the Stars shall bring death and destruction.</i>
»It's not your fault, Blackjack. It's mine. Put it out of your mind,« Lacunae said solemnly.
But I couldn't put it out of my mind. Ever since I'd first dreamed of Psalm, I'd felt myself changing. I wasn't completely sure who was in charge of me anymore. Was Blackjack at the controls? Psalm? The Goddess? The Dealer? The stars? I felt like I was dancing on strings and had no idea who was pulling them. Even Goldenblood and his damned projects were tugging at me from two centuries in the past. They were woven into my very body.
The problem was that the idea that I wasn't in control of myself was so wonderfully seductive. All I had to do was simply believe it, and the burden of responsibility would be lifted from my shoulders. It was the refuge of every madman and monster: don't blame me, I can't help it. And the most terrifying thought was that it might be true. What if I wasn't in control? What if any one of those things was manipulating me? Everything I'd ever seen looked manipulated and contrived; how could I be any different? Even now, Lacunae's assurances felt superficial and false. Maybe she was just lying to try and make me feel better about Clink. Maybe the Goddess was making her lie. How could I trust anything at this point?
The Marauders had broken apart. Dawn's companions had too. Maybe friendship itself was a contrived convenience so we wouldn't feel so lonely and vulnerable. Were we even friends?
New:
»Then I pulled the trigger,« a solemn voice said inside me. For an instant I was sure that Psalm was now talking to me, but it was the comforting voice of Lacunae. The large purple alicorn landed next to me. »You aren't the only pony with magic, Blackjack.« She'd been all the way back by the tank; how had she reached that far?
»You... but... <i>why</i>?« I mentally stammered back at her.
For the longest moment I felt a baffling deluge of emotion pouring off Lacunae. »Do you know what would have happened if you hadn't killed him? If P-21 or somepony else had been forced to do it for you? You would have become a joke, Blackjack.« Her words were firm and decisive, not at all like I was used to. But behind that was a reek of shame and guilt that I couldn't ignore.
»Lacunae... what's wrong?« I asked. That sense of guilt increased, pungent like ammonia in my mind.
»Nothing's wrong. I simply did what had to be done,« she said, so cold that I wondered if somehow this was the Goddess. Except the Goddess wouldn't have been trying to reassure me. »You want to change the Wasteland? Well, unfortunately, fear has a powerful effect on others. If it became known that you were so merciful that you couldn't kill your own rapist just because he said 'sorry', then every raider with half a brain left would wring their hooves and recant their ways only to return to raping and killing as soon as you had disappeared over the horizon. Your friends would have to kill on your behalf, and it doesn't matter how loving or tough they are; that would poison your relationship with them.«
Speaking of relationships... »Lacunae...«
She ignored me, almost in a rush as she thought at me, »So I pulled the trigger. It's my fault. Understand, Blackjack?«
»Lacunae...«
»Do you want to be a killer?« Lacunae snapped, half desperate as she looked down at me with an expression of almost frantic need for agreement.
That finally provoked a response. »No... I don't want to be a killer,« I said quietly. »I don't want to turn into Psalm. I know what I did at Yellow River... what I'm capable of.«
<i>The Maiden of the Stars shall bring death and destruction.</i>
»It's not your fault, Blackjack. It's mine. Put it out of your mind,« Lacunae said solemnly. »I'll do whatever I can to keep you from being an executioner.«
Lacunae's strange behavior almost distracted me from what'd happened, but I couldn't put it out of my mind. Ever since I'd first dreamed of Psalm, I'd felt myself changing. I wasn't completely sure who was in charge of me anymore. Was Blackjack at the controls? Psalm? The Goddess? The Dealer? The stars? I felt like I was dancing on strings and had no idea who was pulling them. Even Goldenblood and his damned projects were tugging at me from two centuries in the past. They were woven into my very body.
The problem was that the idea that I wasn't in control of myself was so wonderfully seductive. All I had to do was simply believe it, and the burden of responsibility would be lifted from my shoulders. It was the refuge of every madpony and monster: don't blame me, I can't help it. And the most terrifying thought was that it might be true. What if I wasn't in control? What if any one of those things was manipulating me? Everything I'd ever seen looked manipulated and contrived; how could I be any different? Even now, Lacunae's assurances felt superficial and false. Maybe she was just lying to try and make me feel better about Clink. Maybe the Goddess was making her lie. How could I trust anything at this point?
- Dog fight, first change:
<i>Dogs dig...</i>
I watched her and then slowly knelt down, turned, and pressed the side of my head to the cool, wet asphalt. For several seconds I felt completely ridiculous. Then I heard it; a deep, hollow scraping noise followed by another and another. Then there was a pause and the whine of an magical energy weapon being primed right beneath my head.
I fell back just a second before a crimson beam tore up through the asphalt and into the sky. »They're below!« was all I got out before the ground exploded and a massive canine monster tore through with one claw while the other brought the largest energy pistol I'd ever seen to bear. I floated out Vigilance and jumped immediately into S.A.T.S., firing five rounds into its snarling brownish black face! Its head, a ruin of meat and bone, didn't explode, nor did the beast retreat. Instead it clawed the air in front of me, claws ripping four furrows in the asphalt as it began to fire wildly. The energy weapon crackled with unstable malice as it unloaded again and again.
There were two more pops, and two more hellhounds emerged from the asphalt, bringing even larger magical weapons to bear. The scarlet beams flamed in the air as they tore up at our fliers. The radiation pouring from the holes spiked my PipBuck; I didn't want to imagine the source. Every one of the hellhounds wore a bizarre smooth helmet that seemed out of place from their crude weaponry and claw-cut and hammered armor.
Deus gunned his engine, and the machine guns swung forward and began to spray the hounds in their holes, but they disappeared almost instantly, as if ready for it. I pressed myself to the ground and fired the entire ten round clip into the hellhound before me before it finally dropped back into the hole. Victory?
No. Boo, staring wide-eyed at the walls, still appeared s scared as before »They're not gone!« I called out as I loaded a fresh magazine with armor-piercing rounds. Then the wall of the massive building beside the tank gave a crack and detached from the rest of the structure as the foundation crumbled. Like a falling drawbridge, the entire slab collapsed on to Deus with a squeal of metal. I could only pray that Scotch had ducked inside before the concrete had fallen.
But we had other worries. Emerging from the gap left in the wall were four more hellhounds. Two dropped to one knee behind a chunk of rubble and sprayed the skies with a hissing, crackling gatling variety of beaminess while the other two lunged for myself and Rampage. The heavily-plated hounds dragged their claws along the asphalt, the long edges filling the air with an ominous hiss as they closed the distance.
Rampage didn't wait for the hellhounds to close. The adolescent mare roared a challenge of her own and charged. She leaped and smashed all four powerhooves against the first hellhound's face. The energy cells discharged, blasting her away to backflip through the air and land as the Hellhound staggered. Rampage wasted no time, charging again right between the hellhound's legs and running the serrated spine of her armor against something quite tender that tore a howl from the hound. Her razorwire tail caught in the matted crotch of the beast, and with a yank pulled the hellhound to sit on the broken pavement. Rampage then rose and brought down her hooves in a flashing storm of blowsto the hellhound's neck and skull till something cracked inside.
I didn't have the luxury of her size or pointed edges as I drew my silver sword and swung it in a futile effort to keep the beast attacking me at bay. Even though the edge could cut through the heavy steel plating, I didn't have the magical strength to make it through on my own. The hellhound leered as I danced back, the razor sharp claws of one hand slashing around as I tried to block the other. Vigilance punched holes in the hellhound, but I wasn't really doing much in the way of damage. Worse, I suspected from the lack of blood that the creature might be regenerating!
Not good.
<i>Dogs dig...</i>
I watched her, then slowly knelt down, turned, and pressed the side of my head to the cool, wet asphalt. For several seconds I felt completely ridiculous. Then I heard it: a deep, hollow scraping noise, followed by another and then another. Then there was a pause... followed by the whine of a magical energy weapon being primed right beneath my head.
I fell back just a second before a crimson beam tore up through the asphalt and into the sky. »They're below!« was all I got out before the ground exploded and a massive canine monster tore through with one claw while the other brought the largest energy pistol I'd ever seen to bear. I floated out Vigilance and jumped immediately into S.A.T.S., firing five rounds into its snarling brownish-black face. The bullets turned its face into a bloody ruin of meat and bone, but they didn't kill it; the beast wasn't even injured enough to retreat! Instead it clawed the air in front of me, claws ripping four furrows in the asphalt as it began to fire wildly. The energy weapon crackled with unstable malice as it unloaded again and again.
There were two more pops, and two more hellhounds emerged from the asphalt, bringing even larger magical weapons to bear. The scarlet beams flamed in the air as they tore up at our fliers. The radiation pouring from the holes spiked my PipBuck; I didn't want to imagine the source. Every one of the hellhounds wore a bizarre chrome helmet that seemed out of place with their crude weaponry and claw-cut and hammered armor.
Overhead, Lacunae carefully sighted down her scope, ignoring the hissing hellhound energy weapons as she sent armor-piercing steel through their skulls like a smiting Goddess. There was a desperate edge to her telepathic voice that belied the cold expression on her face. »No more...« she repeated over and over again. One of the emerging hellhounds started to strafe in my direction, and Lacunae actually shouted aloud, »Leave her alone!« before blowing his head apart in a shower of brain and skull.
Deus gunned his engine, his machine guns swinging forward and spraying the hounds in their holes, but they disappeared almost instantly, as if ready for it. I pressed myself to the ground and fired the entire ten-round clip into the hellhound in front of me me before it finally dropped back into the hole. Victory?
No. Boo, staring wide-eyed at the walls, still appeared as scared as before. »They're not gone!« I called out as I loaded a fresh magazine filled with armor-piercing rounds. Then the wall of the massive building beside the tank gave a crack and detached from the rest of the structure, tipping slowly at first, as the foundation crumbled. P-21 ran up alongside the tank and Scotch Tape jumped onto his back. The filly clung for dear life to him as he beat a hasty retreat. Just behind him, the great slab of wall fell like a descending drawbridge and with a squeal of metal and explosion of dust collapsed onto Deus.
I'd have been concerned about P-21 and Scotch Tape, but even with his burden he practically danced around the chunks while I scrambled for safety. The pair disappeared in the cloud of pulverized architecture. Emerging from the gap left by the fallen wall were four more hellhounds. Two dropped to one knee behind a chunk of rubble and sprayed the skies with a hissing, crackling gatling variety of beaminess while the other two lunged for Rampage and me. The heavily-plated hounds dragged their claws along the asphalt, the long edges of their talons filling the air with an ominous scraping as they closed the distance.
Rampage didn't wait for the hellhounds to close; the adolescent mare roared a challenge of her own and charged. She leaped and smashed all four powerhooves against the first hellhound's face. The energy cells discharged, blasting her away to backflip through the air and land as the hellhound staggered. Rampage wasted no time, charging again right between the hellhound's legs and running the serrated spine of her armor against something quite tender that tore a howl from the hound. The razorwire woven into her tail caught in the matted crotch of the beast, and with a yank pulled the hellhound to sit on the broken pavement. Rampage then rose and brought down her hooves in a flashing storm of blows to the hellhound's neck and skull till something cracked inside.
I didn't have the luxury of her size or pointed edges as I drew my silver sword and swung it in a futile effort to keep the beast attacking me at bay. Even though the edge was sharp enough to cut through the heavy steel plating, I didn't have the magical strength to push it through on my own. The hellhound leered as I danced back, the razor sharp claws of one hand slashing around as I tried to block the other. Vigilance punched holes in the hellhound, but I wasn't really doing much in the way of damage. Worse, I suspected from the lack of blood that the creature might be regenerating!
Not good.
- Dog fight, second change:
Deus had other ideas. He suddenly swerved and blasted the reinforced wall of a building ahead, punching through the hole. A cacophony of screaming metal, roaring engine, and ripping steel filled the air and a great storm of dust blew out the windows as he passed. From the crashing within, I suspected he was taking the roof down as well. Suddenly there was another concussive blast and Deus erupted back out onto the street, his scoured armor free of any clinging hellhounds.
He rolled to a stop, trailing dust and smoke. The hatch on his turret banged open and a concussed-looking Scotch Tape stood up, swaying slightly, and declared, »That was totally awesome! Let's do it again!« Then she slumped and flopped on her back. »Wee... everythin' spinnin'!«
»Or... that'll work.« I admitted. Deus's engine gave a guttering laugh as the rips and tears slowly started to repair themselves. I looked back as Lacunae and the pegasi joined us; that was a whole lot of red bars... »We can't keep running and shooting. Grawnerer or whatever his name was said the Enclave were controlling them. We need to find out how and stop it. Personally, I'm more interested in why the Enclave is here in the first place than the gadget they're using, though.« The Neighvarro pegasi gave firm nods of agreement.
Scotch Tape staggered down from the top of the tank and flopped onto my back. Glory looked at my forehoof critically. »If they're broadcasting a signal, you should be able to pick it up on your PipBuck, Blackjack. Just try to find an frequency in the P band and...« She met my flat gaze and adjusted. »Look for the strongest channel. It'll probably be a lot of buzzing and screeching terminal talk.«
Deus had other ideas. He suddenly swerved and, engines roaring, blasted the reinforced wall of a building ahead and charged straight into the hole. A cacophony of screaming metal, roaring engine, and ripping steel filled the air, and a great storm of dust blew out the windows as he passed. From the crashing within, I suspected he was taking the roof down as well. Suddenly there was another concussive blast, and Deus erupted back out onto the street from another newly-made door, his scoured armor free of any clinging hellhounds.
He rolled to a stop, trailing dust and smoke. »Or... that'll work.« I admitted. Deus's engine gave a guttering laugh as the rips and tears slowly started to repair themselves. Scotch Tape shuddered and averted her eyes; I could understand why. The rent machine looked like a banged-up skull. Lacunae and the pegasi, having seen that we were free from pursuit at this particular moment, flew down to join us. I glanced back the way we'd come; that was a whole lot of red bars... »We can't keep running and shooting. Grawnerer or whatever his name was said that the Enclave were controlling them. We need to find out how and stop it. Personally, though, I'm more interested in why the Enclave is here in the first place than the gadget they're using.« The Neighvarro pegasi gave firm nods of agreement.
Scotch Tape staggered down from Lacunae's back and onto mine. Glory looked at my forehoof critically. »If they're broadcasting a signal, you should be able to pick it up on your PipBuck, Blackjack. Just try to find a frequency in the P band and...« She met my flat gaze and adjusted. »Look for the strongest channel. It'll probably be a lot of buzzing and screeching terminal talk.«
The biggest change is the legate fight. Its very hard to miss, so I wont put it in here. It's the part between
and»I'm not,« I replied as I looked down at him. »I don't have an argument with you, Legate. We simply want to go.«<i>The Maiden of the Stars shall bring ruin... </i> »I won't... I'm not. Security saves ponies. She does better. She does!« I screwed up my face and yelled after him, »I'm not an executioner!«- P-21 talks about Destiny:
»Then you ignore it,« he said simply. »Because if you accept what that bastard said about your destiny being ruin and death, then it'd be no different that me accepting the medical mares telling me that my destiny was to be a walking sperm bank who should be dead right now. We decide our own destiny.«
»Right,« I said as I looked up at the midnight clouds. »Well then, I guess if I'm going to decide it, I'd better start thinking of some way to get to Shadowbolt Tower.« At his inquisitive look, I smiled. »Lighthooves has a biological weapon that can kill countless pegasi. I need to get up there and stop it... and make sure Thunderhead isn't destroyed as well.«
»Then you ignore it,« he said simply. »Because if you accept what that bastard said about your destiny being ruin and death, then it'd be no different that me accepting the medical mares telling me that my destiny was to be a walking sperm bank who should be dead right now. We decide our own destiny.«
Did I have any choice? Was I just following the strings? Were we all?
I felt I had three different paths in front of me, and whichever one I took was going to decide everything. I could go after Dawn, the Harbingers, and Cognitum and try to end that threat once and for all. Or perhaps try and find out a way to stop the Legate and his army from attacking the Hoof and all my friends within it. Or go to the clouds and try and stop Lighthooves and his biological weapon.
Then I glanced down at my hoof and opened up the panel, looking at my Pipbuck. For some reason, perhaps fate, perhaps something else, I brought up EC-1101 and stared at it. Then I accessed its tantalizing routing information.
Next routing location> Shadowbolt Tower.
»Right,« I said as I looked up at the midnight clouds. »Well then, I guess if I'm going to decide it, I'd better start thinking of some way to get to Shadowbolt Tower.« At his inquisitive look, I smiled. »Lighthooves has a biological weapon that can kill countless pegasi. I need to get up there and stop it... and make sure Thunderhead isn't destroyed as well.«
Now I should read my own post to know what changed.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Sun Mar 17, 2013 9:10 am
Thank you, OAC, I really tried my best for it, and was a bit surprised myself that the glowy sword turned out much better than I had been expecting.Overlong Analysis Cobalt wrote:This kicks ass! The lighting and pose are great, and they both just look so happy.
Of course it was Blackjack and Boo, so I wanted them to be happy, heh.
Well, I didn't have a chance to read the whole chapter again, but I read the revised Legate fight at least. I know I've always stood opposed to such large revisions, but I think this one really was beneficial to the story. I definitely approve of it being a much closer fight, and I think focusing on the traditional zebra martial-arts rather than supernatural powers (at least in this case) was a good move.
Thank you again, Somber, Hinds, and Bronode, for putting so much work into this story, especially in the face of such adversity. I really do hope 55 goes more smoothly.
Part of why I was only able to read the Legate fight is also because I was working on this. It's almost ready, I think.
- Spoiler:
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 22 Tumblr_mjt2pdRZvC1r52419o1_1280](https://2img.net/h/25.media.tumblr.com/062e37411c9b4f63d2c74c5aa088a7a6/tumblr_mjt2pdRZvC1r52419o1_1280.png)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Sindri Sun Mar 17, 2013 9:59 am
Okay, so that thing where I was going to get this up in two hours? That was before I lost eleven of them to my brain reinterpreting all incoming visual and auditory data as pain. But I finally finished, and I'm uploading this before I go to sleep.
Sorry. Probably best to ignore me; everyone from Wave to Otp to Hinds is saying it's better, what the fuck do I know?
- Spoiler:
- Will comment on changes noticed, and new thoughts, but leave old stuff alone at the moment.
Lacunae is much more adamant about killing people so Blackjack doesn't have to. The wording of which gives me the impression that she's lying, and Blackjack actually did pull the trigger herself.
Okay, P-21 carrying Scotch instead of her ducking into the tank when the wall falls makes sense. There'd never been a mention of the hatch being open, so timing-wise this works better.
So Blackjack is carrying P-21, who was a moment ago carrying Scotch... I might need fanart of the teetering pile of ponies sprinting in front of a bundle of hellhounds.
Did I just not notice earlier when two hounds aiming at Boo ended up disintegrating each other?
Scotch averting eyes from giant laughing regenerating machine who just scraped apart multiple organics definitely fits.
Awfully nice of Lancer to aim around the filly standing on his target's back.
hee. Hyper-secure facility. Protected by one password thirteen characters long. Fallout security systems are still hilarious.
Alright, time for the Legate fight...
First change, no more spear.
You know what a tank is really good at? Keeping people with small arms from being able to do anything to those within. Like, say, the aforementioned loved ones and children. Matching Deus and Rampage against a couple hundred zebras, I don't think there would be any casualties on the Reaper side; when the squishy ponies are inside an armored vehicle this comes down to the three most perfect implements of warfare in the Wasteland against two centuries of primitive infantry. Hell, I'd put favorable odds on P-21 versus three dozen Brood. And I kinda doubt that Glory would stay still while dosed up on Dash and Blackjack was in visible danger, unless she was restrained or help was already happening.
Confirmation of zebra shamans, apparently able to manipulate teleportation magic cast with the full force of Unity somehow. Despite that being the most complex of magics in a system which they have no control over, and its effect extending no further than the caster's hooves.
Oh as if spark grenades would so much as irritate Deus. I seem to remember those not working when he was just a cyborg. And anyone making a supertank would have it not only EM shielded all to hell, but put in redundant systems and auto-reboots so that even an overwhelming attack wouldn't last more than a second. They're not going to invest that much into a superheavy regenerating war machine bristling with guns in all directions and then leave such an easy and obvious hole in the defenses. And even that's assuming Scotch isn't available, since we've seen her doing battlefield repairs on spark'd war machines before.
Wait, so she is clearly the antithesis of all that is good and righteous. You had decided independantly to kill Lancer. And the Maiden of the Stars telling you not to is what convinces you to grant mercy? That makes the opposite of sense.
Sorry. Probably best to ignore me; everyone from Wave to Otp to Hinds is saying it's better, what the fuck do I know?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Ketchup Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:13 pm
While it's sort of unsettling to me, for some reason, that the chapter was re-written, the changes work well and overall the chapter was perhaps better because of it.
I love that Requiem Tumblr, too.
I love that Requiem Tumblr, too.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Train Dodger Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:24 pm
Characters in a story, eh, Blackjack?
Oh god, I just got this horrible vision of Blackjack and Glory laughing like Tidus and Yuna. Stop it! Stop it, brain!
Oh god, I just got this horrible vision of Blackjack and Glory laughing like Tidus and Yuna. Stop it! Stop it, brain!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:48 pm
"Please don't snuggle the cake, though" :)
@Sindri in general:
I'm sorry that you don't care for the new version.
Yes, sorry.Sindri wrote:Did I just not notice earlier when two hounds aiming at Boo ended up disintegrating each other?
Well, every filly has slightly different ballistic properties, you know, so it's hard to predict how a bullet's trajectory will be altered by going through one.Sindri wrote:Awfully nice of Lancer to aim around the filly standing on his target's back.
My belief is that shamans are at least mostly just fetish specialists. And it probably wouldn't be that difficult to create a teleportation-disruption system; we know that Hightower has one, after all, so they definitely exist.Sindri wrote:Confirmation of zebra shamans, apparently able to manipulate teleportation magic cast with the full force of Unity somehow. Despite that being the most complex of magics in a system which they have no control over, and its effect extending no further than the caster's hooves.
Standard spark grenades wouldn't, no, but we don't know that they've not done something clever with them. No shielding is perfect, after all. As for Scotch being available, I imagine that her working to repair Deus would get her reclassified from "potential child slave" to "lightly armored enemy combatant".Sindri wrote:Oh as if spark grenades would so much as irritate Deus. I seem to remember those not working when he was just a cyborg. And anyone making a supertank would have it not only EM shielded all to hell, but put in redundant systems and auto-reboots so that even an overwhelming attack wouldn't last more than a second. They're not going to invest that much into a superheavy regenerating war machine bristling with guns in all directions and then leave such an easy and obvious hole in the defenses. And even that's assuming Scotch isn't available, since we've seen her doing battlefield repairs on spark'd war machines before.
@Sindri in general:
I'm sorry that you don't care for the new version.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Valikdu Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:49 pm
Train Dodger wrote:Oh god, I just got this horrible vision of Blackjack and Glory laughing like Tidus and Yuna. Stop it! Stop it, brain!
Why would you... ever... Celestia, my face is now bruised from the palming, and I HEAR THE OBNOXIOUS LAUGHTER IN MY HEAD. AGAIN.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:21 pm
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:28 pm
I think you're mistaken. Rage is the FOE version of Psycho, not Rampage, and Slasher is Stampede. At any rate, if you did mean to say Rampage and you are referring to a chem, it should be clarified by saying, "...they moved with the deadly swiftness and strength of somepony high on Rampage", or "the deadly swiftness and strength granted by a dose of Rampage", or something similar.O. Hinds wrote:@Icy Shake:
Rampage is a chem, yes, but thank you for the other error spotting (not counting the she/I thing, as you've realized that it isn't a mistake).
Oh, thanks a lot!Train Dodger wrote:Oh god, I just got this horrible vision of Blackjack and Glory laughing like Tidus and Yuna. Stop it! Stop it, brain!
Last edited by SilentCarto on Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Cptadder Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:29 pm
Somber wrote:HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/H47ow4_Cmk0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Hah hah ....ooh god kill me
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:32 pm
BA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Somber wrote:HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!
Oh god one of my housemates insists on playing that game when he's drunk sometimes. Oh god.
Guest- Guest
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Overthepacific Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:33 pm
Sindri wrote:
- Spoiler:
First change, no more spear.
You know what a tank is really good at? Keeping people with small arms from being able to do anything to those within. Like, say, the aforementioned loved ones and children. Matching Deus and Rampage against a couple hundred zebras, I don't think there would be any casualties on the Reaper side; when the squishy ponies are inside an armored vehicle this comes down to the three most perfect implements of warfare in the Wasteland against two centuries of primitive infantry. Hell, I'd put favorable odds on P-21 versus three dozen Brood. And I kinda doubt that Glory would stay still while dosed up on Dash and Blackjack was in visible danger, unless she was restrained or help was already happening.
I dont quite know about them actually lasting through the sheer numbers of the Brood. Even with the tank, and Rampage. But it is a fight I'd certainly like to see.
Sindri wrote:
- Spoiler:
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 22 521210696](https://2img.net/u/2516/12/35/12/smiles/521210696.png)
What Hinds said.
Sindri wrote:
- Spoiler:
I dont doubt that they have somehow planned around this. Even if they didn't, powerful explosives don't seem out of the question either.
Sindri wrote:
- Spoiler:
I can agree with that. He really shouldn't have listened to her that easily. That really threw me off as well.
Sindri wrote:Final thoughts... bluh. The general reaction seems to be pleased. The new Lancer fight was indeed a hell of a fight scene, one of the best once it was set up. And from a storytelling perspective it's almost certainly superior. But that's just it. It feels like a story. Like the setup happened that way not because logic and the characters involved made it happen, but because the Plot needed it to be that way. To me it feels contrived, illogical, unnatural instead of just flowing smoothly like Somber's work usually does. Maybe I'm just overly bitter from the aftereffects of the past night, maybe it'll look better when I wake up again, but right now... I don't love it.
Sorry. Probably best to ignore me; everyone from Wave to Otp to Hinds is saying it's better, what the fuck do I know?
I don't feel like it really interrupted the flow, or felt forced specifically for the plotline. The flow of the battle overall felt kinda forced with him talking the way he did, and for how long he did, but otherwise it dosnt seem all that bad. I still stand by the opinion that now really didn't feel like the time to introduce him, but that isn't something thats going to be changing any time soon. So I'm certainly not going to ignore your opinion, it has value even if I disagree with it, don't sell yourself short.
On a side note, every time someone abbreviates my username like that, it makes me think of otp, like as in shipping, which I am not sure how to feel about.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:37 pm
And it's a Zebra tank to begin with. They probably know exactly where to put an EMP charge to disable it.O. Hinds wrote:Standard spark grenades wouldn't, no, but we don't know that they've not done something clever with them. No shielding is perfect, after all.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WovenTales Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:42 pm
One thing I noticed in AGurdel's summation of changes and then confirmed in the document is that there might have been a small number update that shouldn't actually have been changed.
On a slightly related note, does anyone have a copy of the original version downloaded (preferably as HTML)? I forgot to save it before the changes went live, and do actually want to have a reference for the old fight, if I ever need it at some point.
If his copy of the original was correct, that used to be "two more lives," which makes a lot more sense with the two it lists.I could barely aim through my tears. I just had to take one more life, and then I’d be done. The Princess’s, then my own.
On a slightly related note, does anyone have a copy of the original version downloaded (preferably as HTML)? I forgot to save it before the changes went live, and do actually want to have a reference for the old fight, if I ever need it at some point.
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