Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains

by StoneSlinger88 Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:50 pm

It was excellent. The characters are in shellshock from the attack, the survivors just don't know what to do. The ones that have other places to go have gone there, and the colt's another responsibility for the group to take care of.

One thing that's always bothered me about stories is the mass slaughter and destruction, and afterwards the characters are completely unaffected despite never seeing something like that before; you've avoided it handily. The characters involved have a feeling a uselessness or inability to actually help, at least for a good amount of time before stumbling upon the colt.

by **CamoBadger** Tue Jul 30, 2013 6:01 pm

Thanks StoneSlinger. I've had the same annoyance with stories before, which is why I didn't want to do it. I'm glad you liked it.

by Kippershy Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:08 pm

You've got my first comment over Steam.
Here's the rest.

Spoiler:

Good chapter, good chapter. Sorry for pointing out so many things.
Dunno what else to say, but I enjoyed it.

by Frost Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:25 pm

'Twas a good chappy indeed. I like the concept of the hero that's not some glorious messiah, or star-chosen warrior, or anything--just a young mare who does whatever good she can, even if it's just finding homes for orphaned foals

by StoneSlinger88 Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:28 pm

Kipper, if you're like me and from a town of ~500 people, anything above five thousand people becomes a city. If they're still relatively small to the largest cities in the area, I'll use town/city interchangeably as I grow more accustomed to them. Shayle is probably doing the same thing; it was a huge place full of activity compared to where she grew up, but as she grows more familiar with the Wasteland (and especially after New Oatleans) it would start to appear to her as more of a town.

by O. Hinds Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:38 pm

I found it a good chapter, but I'm afraid that I only have one more specific comment:

Spoiler:

by Frost Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:43 pm

Considering how expensive and/or hard to make missiles and rockets would be, the gunship might have been retrofitted with extra guns/ammo reserves so they could fire more of the cheaper, easier to make bullets.

by Ketchup Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:43 pm

So, I had a bunch typed up, a lot I wanted to say on the earlier bits of the chapter, and I accidentally deleted it all.
Very frustrating, but nothing expressly important... I'll continue from where it left off.

Spoiler:

Good chapter, excellent atmosphere and usage of literary device. Progressed story well, and opened the next arc(s). Very sorry there isn't more, you deserve more feedback. I may go through it again when I have an afternoon to kill.

Something I've been worrying about the execution of wasn't brought up in this chapter, but I'm probably only worried because I think about some things way too much, and that this event is inevitable... however, I have faith in your ability as a writer.

by StoneSlinger88 Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:48 pm

Mister Frost wrote:Considering how expensive and/or hard to make missiles and rockets would be, the gunship might have been retrofitted with extra guns/ammo reserves so they could fire more of the cheaper, easier to make bullets.

Minigun rounds in Fallout are 5mm, if I recall correctly. That's a lot of bullets you could cram onto a large aircraft. As for rockets/lobbed grenades, something along the lines of a mounted Mark 19 would work pretty well; compact and deadly.

by **CamoBadger** Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:03 pm

Thank you all so much for the reads and comments, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as I worried it would be.

@Hinds: That depends. It does have 1 gun on each side, and most helicopters load guns up with around 1500 rounds, not including extra stores for reloads in the absence of heavier weaponry. So yes, it was a shitload of firepower, and that was the goal Spur had - do the most damage possible with 1 attack.

by O. Hinds Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:42 pm

CamoBadger wrote:Thank you all so much for the reads and comments, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as I worried it would be.

@Hinds: That depends. It does have 1 gun on each side, and most helicopters load guns up with around 1500 rounds, not including extra stores for reloads in the absence of heavier weaponry. So yes, it was a shitload of firepower, and that was the goal Spur had - do the most damage possible with 1 attack.

Yeah, but bringing down most of the buildings? That would take quite a few high-caliber rounds, I expect.

by **CamoBadger** Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:00 pm

True, in most cases. However, these are shacks that are left over from pre-war when it was a zebra internment camp and have aged and been repaired countless times since then. Wood and sheet metal fold like paper against most machine gun rounds, and going off of what most gunships carry (at least in my experience), these guns were 30cal.
However, that is why I left the hardy buildings standing, because they would take much more effort to tear down, while shacks that barely held back the rain didn't have much of a chance.

Also, @Kip: (town/city) My bad for taking so long to reply, I promise I didn't ignore you. Honestly, the reason it's like that is because the way I talk, 'town' and 'city' are interchangeable. I personally don't figure in which one it is, I just say the first one I think of when I'm talking about a place, and that transfers over to my writing out of habit. So yes, it's a bad error, but it's something I can't really get rid of myself and don't even notice until someone else brings it up. So thanks, I'll go back and fix it for it to be more consistent Twilight Sparkle

by O. Hinds Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:24 pm

CamoBadger wrote:True, in most cases. However, these are shacks that are left over from pre-war when it was a zebra internment camp and have aged and been repaired countless times since then. Wood and sheet metal fold like paper against most machine gun rounds, and going off of what most gunships carry (at least in my experience), these guns were 30cal.
However, that is why I left the hardy buildings standing, because they would take much more effort to tear down, while shacks that barely held back the rain didn't have much of a chance.

Ah, I see. I guess I was just overestimating the sturdiness of the buildings. There does seem to be a general tendency in the Equestrian Wasteland to have nothing in between "pre-apocalypse building or item repurposed as building" and "hope is a major structural component of this ~~pile of garbage~~ structure". Though I guess that it's understandable; now that I think about it, there's not a lot of good wood about for wood-frame construction, a quarry or brickyard would be difficult to defend (and the latter unable to use sunlight due to the cloud ceiling, requiring fuel)... They just don't really have good, sturdy building materials (with the exception of Red Eye, with his military, trade network, education system, recovering industrial base, and large workforce).

by Kippershy Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:18 am

Ahh, okay then. With that being said, it's understandable and a part of me says you should be able to keep it the same, but then it is a little misleading so yeah, sorry for having so many criticisms this chapter.
Just know that again, I did love this chapter and I only speak out because I do love your fic and want it to be the best it can.

by **CamoBadger** Tue Aug 06, 2013 12:28 pm

and then it was done:

by Frost Tue Aug 06, 2013 1:05 pm

That's just a fantastic picture, there.

by O. Hinds Tue Aug 06, 2013 1:37 pm

Agreed.

by Guest Tue Aug 06, 2013 3:11 pm

I personally like them better sketchy. Still looks neat.

by Orm Tue Aug 06, 2013 6:54 pm

CamoBadger wrote:
and then it was done:

That looks great.
I hope that relationship ends better than the last one Felix was starting to have.

by Kippershy Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:27 pm

OOoooooooh Caaaaaaaaaaamoooooo
I have a little something for youuuuu.

Spoiler:

Use the 'view full image' right click function to get the original size. (3,839px × 3,606px)

by Guest Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:31 pm

Image doesn't seem to be working.

by Kippershy Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:32 pm

Really? Damn. Here's the image link:
https://i.imgur.com/hc869QO.png

edit: dropped in a new link, slightly revised version that fixes the gem.

by Guest Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:35 pm

That's a big image. You draw that?

by Frost Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:44 pm

Is her head supposed to be cleaved in half?

by Kippershy Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:46 pm

Mister Frost wrote:Is her head supposed to be cleaved in half?

Yes, the top of her head is supposed to be cut off from the image.

Last wrote:That's a big image. You draw that?

Yup!

by Ketchup Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:50 pm

That's pretty neat, Kipper. Nice work indeed.

by Guest Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:51 pm

Kippershy wrote:
Mister Frost wrote:Is her head supposed to be cleaved in half?
Yes, the top of her head is supposed to be cut off from the image.

Last wrote:That's a big image. You draw that?
Yup!

I like the space you put between her hind legs. Looks good.

by Kippershy Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:53 pm

Last wrote:
Kippershy wrote:
Mister Frost wrote:Is her head supposed to be cleaved in half?
Yes, the top of her head is supposed to be cut off from the image.

Last wrote:That's a big image. You draw that?
Yup!
I like the space you put between her hind legs. Looks good.

Thank you! I agree, some pictures work well with the legs blending together, but one like this is better the way it is there.

Ketchup wrote:That's pretty neat, Kipper. Nice work indeed.

Thanks Ketch!

by **CamoBadger** Fri Aug 16, 2013 12:02 pm

That's great! Thank you so much Kip!

Sorry I didn't comment until now, just got home from vacation last night.

by Kippershy Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:57 pm

EXTREMELY relevant.
http://asktheslaves.tumblr.com/post/58522380590

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