Sister forumFallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
+31
chinman
iLateralGX
InLucidReverie
ISuckAtNaming
Scienza
Evilgidgit
StoneSlinger88
cb5
Plasticube
CamoBadger
hawkeye92
Doctor Whooves
WovenTales
Luminous Lead
Icy Shake
Nhim
Admiral Stoic Rum
Stringtheory
Mech
O. Hinds
Valikdu
Fuzzy
Moodyman90
tylertoon2
Salculd
OneMoreDaySK
Cptadder
Kippershy
RoboRed
Aonee
Derpmind
35 posters
Page 12 of 22
Page 12 of 22 • 
1 ... 7 ... 11, 12, 13 ... 17 ... 22
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Kippershy Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:15 pm
So, someone told me the spoiler in the thread when I asked for it.
- Spoiler:
- Skip to 0:44
Kippershy- Lord of Derail
- Posts : 3493
Brohoof! : 121
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 33
Location : Essex, England
Character List:
Name: Crimson Wings / Cherry Sundae
Sex: Male / Female
Species: Pegasus / Unicorn
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Moodyman90 Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:52 pm
Okay, I just finished the new chapter.
.
.
.
.
I..!
.
.
.
That...!
.
....
Keep up the good work Fuzzy. That's all I can really say outside of a spoiler tag.
.
.
.
.
I..!
.
.
.
That...!
.
....
Keep up the good work Fuzzy. That's all I can really say outside of a spoiler tag.
- Not really spoilers, but avoid if you haven't read the chapter:
- Hell of an ending. Hell of a chapter. I mean, just damn. Brim is fucking beast. That's been well established before but this chapter brought him to new levels. Also, I don't know if I'm just use to foreshadowing or how obvious it was to others, but that bar mine man.
Granted, how it ended up being used still surprised me, but I saw it coming as soon as Bonecrusher appeared.
But the real epic use of foreshadowing really comes into play if my predictions of where the story goes after THAT ending are true. Mainly about Brim's questions about Murky's beliefs.
Moodyman90- Draconequus
- Posts : 8257
Brohoof! : 163
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 33
Character List:
Name: Moody Blues/ Moodstone
Sex: Male/ Male
Species: Earth Pony/ Unicorn
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by O. Hinds Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:03 am
Well, I decided to stop waiting for FIMFiction to let you upload 17, and I've just finished reading the chapter.
- Spoiler:
- Well, firstly, I'm interested to see where the story goes next. That was quite the chapter ending. On the whole, the chapter was good, I think, though I quite question the wisdom of putting such a powerful weapon as the bar mine in the Pit ("Hey, I know that Shackles wants this guy dead, but do you think that maybe giving the particularly unruly and resistant slaves access to high explosive anti-armor weaponry in close proximity to our leaders might be a bad idea?" "Nah, toss it in!"). I also personally think, as a critique not of the author's choices but of the character's choices, that Brimstone Blitz ought to have accepted Red Eye's offer.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by hawkeye92 Sun Mar 03, 2013 2:23 pm
Going to spoiler this because, well, spoilers. Big time.
I think I'm going to pour myself a stiff drink now.
- Spoiler:
- I once saw someone write an interesting quip about this story.
"The very next sentance could be 'Murky died, the end' and it would still be a supremely satisfying story."
This chapter proved it right.
I really did like the use of Wildcard's insane ramblings to speak directly to the audience, that was very good.
Thought I was going to have a lot to say about Brimstone, since most of the chapter was about him dealing with his demons in spectacular style. But after that masterstroke at the end I don't think I'd be able to get the words out.
I guess this might feasibly not be the end if Shackles wants Murky alive badly enough. I know of people who have had their necks shredded and survive along with other horrific wounds to boot but that really is exceptional.
Also, "All perks lost" is pretty omminous, although I wasn't sure he had any left by now.
To Murky himself, I say Fly Safe, wherever you are now...
I think I'm going to pour myself a stiff drink now.
hawkeye92- Pegasus
- Posts : 207
Brohoof! : 7
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 31
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by O. Hinds Mon Mar 04, 2013 9:44 pm
@Swicked:
- Spoiler:
Actually, that line, if I'm not mistaken, refers to the stallion who committed suicide by jumping earlier in the story. It was in the Mall, IIRC.Swicked wrote:I’ve always wondered a bit why it’s a stallion in his head.
Now what famous impossible pink ponies might a foal who grew up in government care during the war draw…Swicked wrote:I really hope you explain this pink pony chalk thing. I massively don’t get it.
I mean, I first entertained the theory that ghoul children are in the orphanage, but then you said the painting waved to Murky. What is going on?
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Admiral Stoic Rum Tue Mar 05, 2013 2:43 am
goodbye sleep! thy name is not rum!
Admiral Stoic Rum- Alicorn
- Posts : 4179
Brohoof! : 83
Join date : 2012-05-19
Age : 36
Location : Houston, TX
Character List:
Name: Dr. Painkiller
Sex: Male
Species: Pony
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by OneMoreDaySK Tue Mar 05, 2013 2:59 am
Snippets of thought from 17:
- Spoiler:
Hoofington too easy? That made me laugh.
Game Over: Continue? Y/N
How's Murky gonna get out of this one?
Maybe ghoulified?
OneMoreDaySK- Alicorn
- Posts : 1698
Brohoof! : 56
Join date : 2012-05-14
Character List:
Name: Alouette
Sex: Female
Species: Unicorn
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Admiral Stoic Rum Tue Mar 05, 2013 4:52 am
seventeen, s intense and you have 27 rough planned!? gaah!
Admiral Stoic Rum- Alicorn
- Posts : 4179
Brohoof! : 83
Join date : 2012-05-19
Age : 36
Location : Houston, TX
Character List:
Name: Dr. Painkiller
Sex: Male
Species: Pony
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Fuzzy Wed Mar 06, 2013 11:04 pm
My apologies, I'm out and about right now a lot or in only very late, using my phone to check these the now. Rest assured I will respond to it once I have access to a keyboard again! Thanks for offering your thoughts, looking forward to discussing some. :)
Fuzzy- Unicorn
- Posts : 365
Brohoof! : 68
Join date : 2012-06-18
Age : 37
Location : Scotland
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by WovenTales Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:26 am
Assuming we use the same memory-wipe mechanics as PH, he'd definitely stay traumatized, at the very least. Scotch Tape's fear was barely affected, and she was only petrified of machines. The original plan for the chapter would have been a particularly bad Despair Event Horizon TVTropes! where just about the only way Murky could ever recover enough for even basic thought would be by giving him a lot of time—it would probably take several years of calm before he became functional again—and he has less of that than just about any other slave. Especially if Sooty Morass put him up for multiple sessions, or was able to pull the right strings to get him for repeated or regular shifts. If anything, forgetting why he was traumatized would only make it harder to recover, despite being an interesting parallel to Glimmer.swicked wrote:
- Spoiler:
I mean, yeah, if Murky was raped, he'd absolutely go over the edge and try and kill himself. The problem, though, is I don't see him getting better. I think he'd just keep trying to kill himself... likely not even finding a tower. He'd throw himself under the thresher or just find any given slave or slaver out there with a grudge against pegasus (read: all of them). He has no bigger-than-himself goal or force to drive him, he has no light to look for, he's blind and no longer searches for it. I think it'd render him a pretty much emotionless shell and nothing short of a memory-wipe would free him... but, even then, the echoes of it all would remain. His mind is too fragile for it.
He is a rather fragile character, isn't he? Though after his lifetime of slavery and his luck in masters, it does seem like he'd migrate to one of the extremes out of necessity. Makes an interesting contrast to the usual focuses of the wasteland, and a nice prompt for examining psychology. (Though you definitely have me beat on that front.)
- Spoiler:
I would have to put some serious thought into what would be enough to push him but not so far he couldn't come back. Serious thought that wouldn't do justice to Fuzzy's story because it's not going to change based on my whims.
Suffice it to say, I'm glad he made his decision, both for the fic and for himself.
So... yeah.
- Spoiler:
- He does have a reason behind his suicide attempt: he will be raped. He knows what (was going to, before this chapter) happen in the morning, and he knows that he wouldn't be able to keep going afterwards. So while he still has some measure of choice remaining, he decided that jumping off the orphanage before then would be the better ending. And it would have been an ending, either way.
Those do sound interesting. Mind posting them at some point, or giving links to offsite docs if they'd be too long for here?On that note, I'm a few pages into the next chapter and have written pages worth of my own thoughts on the psychology of Chainlink, Murky and, particularly, Brimstone.
I think about this fic too much.
WovenTales- Earth Pony
- Posts : 101
Brohoof! : 18
Join date : 2012-05-13
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by WovenTales Thu Mar 07, 2013 6:07 am
swicked wrote:WovenTales wrote:
- Spoiler:
I would have to put some serious thought into what would be enough to push him but not so far he couldn't come back. Serious thought that wouldn't do justice to Fuzzy's story because it's not going to change based on my whims.
Suffice it to say, I'm glad he made his decision, both for the fic and for himself.
So... yeah.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
It's despair at where you are and the belief that things will not get better that cause people to kill themselves, not the thought that things will get worse later if their prospects don't improve.
And yes, Murky's situation was and is really bad, I just don't see anything happening to him that is sufficiently worse than he's experienced before. The bad stuff is just in greater volume, is all.
I know I'm no expert, but again... his situation wasn't without hope. Even without Littlepip, he still had his big sis and Coral, his pseudo-mom. Chainlink's still been giving him time to be with them in the lulls between shifts.
I feel like I'm explaining my point terribly, but... yeah.
- Spoiler:
- No, I think you explained your view rather well. I still say that it might not be that far from something he'd do at that point, but I do definitely get what you're saying. Thing is, he's reached a point where he might not see any other way. Shackles knocked him back deep into his slave mindset (always obey the Master), has allowed several "escapes" to prove the inevitability of recapture, and Murky believes—correctly—that none of his friends but Brim (who's not there, and didn't seem like he would be) could prevent Shackles from giving him to Sooty Morass. It's not that he's going to run a shift in the brothel unless things get better, it's that he is going to be serving whatever sexual favors Sooty Morass signs him up for, no matter what. And he knows that he probably won't even complain if his Master tells him not to. As they said in-fic, even the time with his family was granted because being pulled from them helped drive home the feeling of helplessness.
The only thing that doesn't particularly work with that is that Murky did disobey Shackles earlier in the chapter. I do like the fact that both times were related to the Orphanage (not stopping in rescuing Lilac, and then taking the slave's last choice off the roof), but it might have created a more easily...I don't really want to say "relatable," decision if the rescue had occurred a chapter earlier.
Oh, I wasn't imagining you'd put it up immediately. Just saying that it might be fun to read when you are done with it, even if that is several chapters from now (and not that you need to do anything even then). More noting my interest than anything else.Kay, it's not quite all done, but I'll post it when I can... or just wait for the review to be finished. I dunno.WovenTales wrote:Those do sound interesting. Mind posting them at some point, or giving links to offsite docs if they'd be too long for here?On that note, I'm a few pages into the next chapter and have written pages worth of my own thoughts on the psychology of Chainlink, Murky and, particularly, Brimstone.
I think about this fic too much.
WovenTales- Earth Pony
- Posts : 101
Brohoof! : 18
Join date : 2012-05-13
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Fuzzy Thu Mar 07, 2013 7:28 pm
Right, swicked! Sorry it took a bit, as I said, not been at my PC for proper typing!
First off, those song lyrics. Oh goodness me I'm in the early 2000's all over again. :p
I'm working on your corrections now between FimFic and Gdocs. Thanks so much for them. A few things to add to the ever-growing "edits list" for the changes post finishing the story as well. :)
So many thanks for your insightful looks, honest critiques and entertaining methods of reviewing, swicked.
First off, those song lyrics. Oh goodness me I'm in the early 2000's all over again. :p
- Spoiler:
- In fact, this is pretty darn systematic, here. Beaten for assuming.
Beaten for the wrong order. Healed immediately if any potentially
life-threatening injuries are inflicted. Allowed to escape just to prove
the inevitability of his capture and the totality of Chainlink’s
control.
(heh, allowed to escape... those guards must be really
hating on Murky and Chainlink by now, Murky got out on the run enough
times WITHOUT being intentionally allowed)
For the second time in
this fic, I respect this guy. He actually knows what he’s doing and is
beginning to understand how Murky works. Bravo. *clap clap clap*
I'm glad to hear that. Shackles isn't easy to balance at the best of times and I know you've been one of the more noted critics of how his interactions with Murky. So I'm glad to see that this one did go correctly to you.
In general, to clarify on a later point as well you mention about his escape with Lilac...in general his escapes haven't been in the same areas very commonly, reducing what slavers might spot him. But taking the harder route to answer and going with your notation of them getting "tired of Shackles' games" I'd say...very likely they are! I just love that imagery of two slavers smoking and seeing Murky running past, before rolling their eyes and adding another notch to the wall when they see Shackles in pursuit. However Shackles commands a lot of fear, power and (in some ways) respect amongst the slavers. They see him toying with Murky or they see a slave fleeing him pointlessly and it more reinforces Shackles' threat. They know they won't get out the city after all. At least, that's how I see it, I guess it depends on point of view of the slaver. No doubt some of them look on it and think "Haha, hell yeah, Shackles, break 'em." while others would think "Oh for crying out loud...again?"...if this was safety glass, Murky wouldn’t be able to break it. If it’s
not, he should be chopped up to hell. Massive lacerations and pieces
stuck in him. He’s just blowing through windows like it’s nothing,
though... only complaining about the fall.
In my mind it was pretty much wrecked already, not a full pane of glass to smash completely through so much as the tattered remains of light wooden cross stitching with a few bits of glass left enough to make a scene. Maybe I should have stated that clearer.“the strike had felt that much more of a crunch that time.”
...what?
Had felt that much more of?
Why not had felt more like?
“He kept writhing, screaming in horror.”
...you’ve been hit hard there before, right, Fuzzy?
Because,
in my experience, the pain can basically make you shut down, fall on
the floor, curled into a ball struggling hard just to breath. It’s like
being electrocuted... all the muscles tense up. I don’t see this guy
writing, screaming in horror so much as curling up, sinking into the mud
and, possibly, drowning.
I teach martial arts. Within the hobby, it's a common occurance to those not smart enough to wear a protective box so I can tell you from experience I've seen both of those reactions, the one you stated and what happened in the story. ;)...what the heck is this? Is sooty selling slaves? Slaves are free in Filly.
To be honest, if I were Sooty, I’d of given Murky the amusing task of cleaning up after himself.
Wicked
slit used him as a pincushion out there in the rain. He must have blood
trickling off of him all over. Just give him a rag and have him clean
the floor around him, trying to minimize his mess. If he manages to stop
bleeding, reward him with a few more cuts.
Sooty's business is what you might call a premium market, suffice to say. He takes in the slaves he knows they'll want if they just want to know where to do. Hence him realising he wants Murky for his 'stock' on a semi-permenant basis (knowing that Shackles would never give him up entirely). That and as disgusting a concept as it is to think about, to many the idea of going to a nice semi-clean mansion to pick from done up ponies that willingly obey with what you're wanting for a price is distant from the dirty business of fighting down someone unwilling to take advantage of them. Regardless of the reality that forced prostitution is still rape anyway...a shocking amount of people simply don't ask questions or think on it like that. They just see money for "not rape" sex. As sickening a thought as that is for them to have.
I should clarify, I am definitely a believe in the simple term, "rape is rape", by the way. I'm just explaining within the context of the story world.
Lastly, Murky would have cleaned up between shifts a little. Likely due to that very reason you say. There is a time jump after all. :pIf you’ve never seen the movie Taken, you need to ASAP.
Definitely have and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone. The line is something of a recurring theme in MN7 you might say...even if it's the first (?) time it's appeared thus far. "It's just business, nothing personal" is the mantra of many a slaver to justify their actions.Oh? Gonna whore out a little pegasis, are we? I wonder if this is the
scene. I bet it’s the scene, given rape’s such a “special kind of evil”.
Fuzzy had Murky RAPED XD!
You make it sound like I was sitting there grinning or something while typing. Do people think me that evil? XD
Honestly, I was nervous on every damn word and on every damn prereader and on every damn second post release. Eventually I simply found myself lying awake and so nervous about it I began to honestly think that something HAD to be wrong with that decision. I just didn't know what. The feedback from the chapter seeing everyone focussing on that and not on what I wanted (the suicide angle) helped me see what it was. That it was something of which the ramifications...while certainly in my ability to do justice, would have clogged up the story too much from where I wanted to take it in Chapter 17 especially.I just feel like I’m being told too much in this scene. With Murky’s
ears, I would want to hear more stomping or shuffling about. Glimmer
falls to the floor, trying to get the memory orbs, and Coral restrains
her.
...I don’t know if I’m making a good point, here. It just feels
long for “I need to be happy for him. Forget my parents are dead, forget
my shifts are terrible, forget the world for a bit.” And “No. You need
to be strong for him, especially since that’s what Chainlink expects us
to do. If we don’t help him more than he expects, he’ll break him down
more than he realizes, and Murky will be gone.”
Without discussing the page length, brevity of clarity is something I strive to learn better than I have right now. It's one area I want to improve in a lot.“Swallow your grieving” <-- is this a turn of phrase in, uh, that place you live?
Yup. means to just get on with it....er, I would hope not. I don’t remember it ever being stated that
there was a draft and, if there was, they certainly wouldn’t take any
single parents. If a couple has a child both adults shouldn’t be in the
army. I mean, we have laws here regarding that in the real world, so...
yeah. I just can’t imagine they’d do that, or that any parent would be
okay with it.
The implication is that it's children who's parents died rather than were drafted. Zebra terrorism strikes etc. Although that happens in peacetime from accidents and all as well, Coral was just meaning the severity of how it would become. Specifically, it forshadow's Lilac....in the picture, the little filly or colt is walking away with a mare AND a stallion.
I don’t like the focus on strictly the mother, here.
Neither would I. However this is actually a real saying from a real adoption poster I saw once at Luton Airport's train station while down in London. I took a note down of it immediately. I felt that it offered a nice little "is that right?" feeling to it like a lot of posters from Fallout wartime era coupled with the adorable "Forever Mummy" line that could be resurrected later on.It’s too bad Coral just doesn’t understand Weathervane. Doesn’t
understand just how good he can be, nor how the memory of his son is
what keeps him going. I absolutely think, after complaining a bit about
the hassle, he’d be amazing for Lilac. He would find a way for her to be
able to be outside when she needed to. He would help her drawing and
try and help her learn and do whatever she wanted. He acts the way he
does because he’s been alone for so long, but truly great fathers never
forget how to be one, and the way he talks about Sundial is evidence
enough he was amazing.
I agree entirely. Weathervane has shown his paternal instinct with Murky a couple times, even expressing a kind of feeling for Caduceus as though he'd just lost another son when he died. Just as you say...Coral doesn't know him. All she sees is the rampantly angry swearing near feral sometimes ghoul with a dank cellar at this point in time. She thinks him a good doctor and that he truly cares for ponies..but she knows nothing his real fatherhood the way Murky does. Just Murky is no-where near forceful enough at arguements.Hehehe, Forever Mommy, this is amazing! Fuzzy, you’re doing awesome with
this whole sequence. This flight. Lilac’s dialogue. This choice.
And I particularly love that “forever mommy” is truly forever for a ghoul.
Thank you! I'm really glad you spotted that thing about "forever." I'm sure others did, but you're the first to mention it to me. :)...or that. Telling him she’s an agent of Red Eye. I guess that works, too.
There’s
still the fact that Brimstone actually did entirely escape, once, then
came back. Brimstone’s a far throw from Murky, sure, but despite
Littlepip having Murky’s frame, she had strength even greater than
Brimstone when it came to raw telekinetic force.
But... whatever. Waving my hoof, now.
They were outside the walls. I've made sure every term of "never" is about escaping from "in here" or at least implying about it being from inside.
I'm working on your corrections now between FimFic and Gdocs. Thanks so much for them. A few things to add to the ever-growing "edits list" for the changes post finishing the story as well. :)
So many thanks for your insightful looks, honest critiques and entertaining methods of reviewing, swicked.
Fuzzy- Unicorn
- Posts : 365
Brohoof! : 68
Join date : 2012-06-18
Age : 37
Location : Scotland
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Fuzzy Thu Mar 07, 2013 8:40 pm
- Fixing the Sunny issue in Chapter 8 once and for all.
- Barb's little abode in Chapter 12 being made more properly raider like for what happens in there.
- Clarifying some moments of dialogue to be more punchy, far too many to really note.
- Changing some bits with Minstrel to make his deception less obvious.
Should there be bits I haven't noted you recall me saying for...do remind me! I lost my original list to recreate it from memory a few weeks ago.
- Barb's little abode in Chapter 12 being made more properly raider like for what happens in there.
- Clarifying some moments of dialogue to be more punchy, far too many to really note.
- Changing some bits with Minstrel to make his deception less obvious.
Should there be bits I haven't noted you recall me saying for...do remind me! I lost my original list to recreate it from memory a few weeks ago.
Fuzzy- Unicorn
- Posts : 365
Brohoof! : 68
Join date : 2012-06-18
Age : 37
Location : Scotland
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by tylertoon2 Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:44 pm
swicked wrote:...to be honest, I really wish Weathervane would have gotten to keep Lilac. I hope that somehow happens at some point. I think Weathervane needs more to keep going, especially if/when he finds out about Sundial.
I can just imagine a scene where he learns about it and feels himself slipping into rage and depression, his sanity fleeing him, when Lilac asks him what's wrong and all of it comes back in a snap, he hugs her, cue waterworks.
It would be just the kind of sap and special-ness I've come to expect from this fic :P
...SOMEONE MAKE A COMIC OF THIS
THE FEELS WILL BE FELT ACROSS THE WORLD
tylertoon2- Hydra
- Posts : 642
Brohoof! : 51
Join date : 2012-05-18
Age : 28
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by RoboRed Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:34 pm
Finally got around to reading the latest chapter.
...What...
...
...I...just...
...
...What?...
...
...It can't end this way, and I doubt it will, but still...poor Murk...
Also, totally called Brim's battle ending with the mine the moment Bonecrusher walked in. I figured he'd also be the one large enough to set it off.
...What...
...
...I...just...
...
...What?...
...
...It can't end this way, and I doubt it will, but still...poor Murk...
Also, totally called Brim's battle ending with the mine the moment Bonecrusher walked in. I figured he'd also be the one large enough to set it off.
RoboRed- Royal Alicorn
- Posts : 13859
Brohoof! : 717
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 34
Location : Nebraska
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by RoboRed Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:40 pm
Swicked, you are so lovably twisted. 
RoboRed- Royal Alicorn
- Posts : 13859
Brohoof! : 717
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 34
Location : Nebraska
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Kippershy Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:05 am
swicked wrote:I'm not even vaguely concerned about the ending. Wanna know why?
- From one of the last parts of my review:
Murky: ...what?
Wildcard: SHUT UP! What if it you were sitting in front of this hitherto unknown pony, telling him or her your entire story front to back? About your struggling to escape from Fillydelphia over and over? And the friendships you made and the adventures you had and the lessons you learned and all that stuff? Then I couldn’t kill you now, could I? You’d already be alive in the future, telling that pony and all the others that might listen to it all about how this happened... yeah, ‘cause that’d break causality! Shoot, I gotta think this through, man! What’s going to happen!?!
Murky:.................................................................................what?
Wildcard: I SAID SHUT UP! *slits his throat* I think just I blew my own mind! ...wait, what was I doing, again?
Fuzzy must of assumed I would have forgotten how every chapter has started since the very beginning of the fic. I'm curious how that could be possible :P
- Spoiler:
- Common fan theory over /mlp/ is that he's dead and talking to Luna. You know, because Murky once said he envisions the afterlife as speaking to one of the Princesses about the life you led.
Kippershy- Lord of Derail
- Posts : 3493
Brohoof! : 121
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 33
Location : Essex, England
Character List:
Name: Crimson Wings / Cherry Sundae
Sex: Male / Female
Species: Pegasus / Unicorn
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Moodyman90 Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:17 pm
Oh swicked, your reviews are as entertaining as the chapter themselves.
And I always love reading those scenes you put together. I laughed way too much after the ones in this review.
And I always love reading those scenes you put together. I laughed way too much after the ones in this review.
Moodyman90- Draconequus
- Posts : 8257
Brohoof! : 163
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 33
Character List:
Name: Moody Blues/ Moodstone
Sex: Male/ Male
Species: Earth Pony/ Unicorn
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Derpmind Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:27 pm
So about the end of ch.17, again:
- Why am I putting this in spoiler tags?:
- Red-Eye has cybernetics up to one of his eyeballs. Chainlink's got more than enough influence to put Murky back together again. Either that or my super-unlikely prediction that Murky's mutations give him a semi-immortality might be true.
Derpmind- Mindmaster Extraordinaire
- Posts : 947
Brohoof! : 166
Join date : 2012-05-09
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by O. Hinds Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:13 am
…Swicked wrote:That would be a hilarious site to see, Murky trying to catch Brimstone were he to jump off a building.
"Don't worry, Brim, I'll catch--" SPLAT
:)
I'd disagree, actually, based on what we've seen of them and what we don't know. There's still plenty of wood, dead and "living" in the Everfree, after all, meaning still plenty of parts for timberwolves to assemble themselves out of. And who knows what effects the tainted nature of that wood might have.Swicked wrote:Anyway, flimsy creatures made of magiced-together wood would probably be near the bottom of my list of magical beasts likely to get through the apocalypse and hundreds of subsequent years unscathed.
Actually, though I am not certain, I believe that this may be a difference between American and Commonwealth English, in the same way that corporations are referred to as being plural (ie, "Microsoft are" rather than "Microsoft is").Swicked wrote:Crowd is singular and denotes a group, like forest. That should be a “was”.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by O. Hinds Thu Mar 21, 2013 3:15 am
Ah, but here we're getting into the question of what a timberwolf is. Is it the assembly of parts, or is it the assmbler of parts? If the former, you have a point. If the latter, however, timberwolves could remain fundamentally the same and just be making their bodies out of more dangerous stuff.swicked wrote:Tainted as in always tainted, or tainted as a result of the apocalypse and balefire fallout?O. Hinds wrote:And who knows what effects the tainted nature of that wood might have.
The entirety of the woods has become warped by the star poison or whatever, I thought. It made the killing joke worse. It made the cockatrices worse. Star beasts have gotten worse. Everything's worse.
All the animals in Equestria are even more twisted versions of what they once were, with exception to Manticores and maybe that one Hydra (I don't remember if Somber made him especially twisted, though it DID still have significant taint in its blood, so yeah).
I figure anything and everything made of organic matter can be considered to of been mutated as a result of this. That's how it worked in the fallout games, at least.
Timberwolves are already pretty dynamic, it seems like. They make themselves out of what's available around them and can combine into a single massive wolf with a seemingly singular consciousness if they so desire. This already adaptable nature of theirs, I would think, would lead them to get even more screwed up by their environment so radically changing.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by tylertoon2 Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:55 pm
I loved the imagery in this chapter, some really amazing scenes that were made. Hell I loved everything about this chapter.
I wish I could give as good a review as you give me as good a chapter....
I loved it, as I do most. This entire situation was done perfectly, and I shutter to think how much work it took to make everything go just right writing this.
- Spoiler:
- The Delve into Murkey's mine was about at traumatizing as I expected it. There was arguably a little too much "Back and Forthing" During the battle for life but It worked out fine in the end. You are fantastic at creating emotions and I cheered multiple times, and almost cried a few. I had guessed that his chains were open all along, and I'm glad to see that big checkovs gun go off
I wish I could give as good a review as you give me as good a chapter....
I loved it, as I do most. This entire situation was done perfectly, and I shutter to think how much work it took to make everything go just right writing this.
tylertoon2- Hydra
- Posts : 642
Brohoof! : 51
Join date : 2012-05-18
Age : 28
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Fuzzy Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:40 pm
Why oh why did my email alerts not tell me this thread was active. Sorry I've missed so much! I'll get around to review checking later on tonight swicked and get more responded. I'm just frantically handling the chapter launch right now. :p
Fuzzy- Unicorn
- Posts : 365
Brohoof! : 68
Join date : 2012-06-18
Age : 37
Location : Scotland
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by O. Hinds Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:53 pm
The-- Blast. Well, at least those spoilers weren't much. (I'm still not seeing an update on FIMFiction, though.)Fuzzy wrote:Why oh why did my email alerts not tell me this thread was active. Sorry I've missed so much! I'll get around to review checking later on tonight swicked and get more responded. I'm just frantically handling the chapter launch right now. :p
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Fuzzy Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:04 pm
O. Hinds wrote:The-- Blast. Well, at least those spoilers weren't much. (I'm still not seeing an update on FIMFiction, though.)Fuzzy wrote:Why oh why did my email alerts not tell me this thread was active. Sorry I've missed so much! I'll get around to review checking later on tonight swicked and get more responded. I'm just frantically handling the chapter launch right now. :p
FimFic always takes a while. For some reason their importer just seems to hate anything that isn't an Apple computer and refuses to let me do it. I need to wait for DW to be around to do it for me. It's part of the primary reason I chose Gdocs as my main focus, given FimFic is notoriously unreliable in my experience.
Fuzzy- Unicorn
- Posts : 365
Brohoof! : 68
Join date : 2012-06-18
Age : 37
Location : Scotland
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Admiral Stoic Rum Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:41 pm
fuzzy in the climax of the sequence, I could not help but envision this:
I still have a few more pages to read so I will be back later with all of my ass kissery
Edit:
Commence Ass kissery
yeah so, April 12th huh?
- Spoiler:
"I'm Sorry!"
"Murky, You Don't Have to Believe in Yourself! Just Believe in the ME that Believes in YOU!"
I still have a few more pages to read so I will be back later with all of my ass kissery
Edit:
Commence Ass kissery
- Spoiler:
- Whoa that was a trip and you finally, finally pointed out to murky what I have been pointing out to him all along! Open Shackles do not a slave bind! Dude, I just about leaped for joy when this was made apparent to him. also the fourth unicorn, I am not sure, but you think protege was in there with them? not in the room or where he could have been seen but he was in the ICU, even if it had been a few days, well anyway wait... shackles maybe? doubtful although he is sick enough to do it just to get his jollies in re-breaking a slave. strikes me as something he would love to do. nope yep, I dunno. anyway, april 12th... I need a time machine, problem is if I do get one, I would hate to go so far into the future only to find out you decided to kill the story before it was done, doubt you'd do it. it would hurt immensely if it happened too. anyway, you wouldn't I am sure. also, his wings! yay! wings are good, they are cool, a rebirth. what a chapter. whew... also spotted some errors, but I was reading it on my mobile so i can't really bring them out to you . well i remember one, where murky reached the taller towers and finally got to a point where the eye, the icon that ghastly red light, could no longer look down at him. you wrote it could not look up or something like that. its not far from the end so finding it should not be troublesome for you.
yeah so, April 12th huh?
Last edited by Admiral Stoic Rum on Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
Admiral Stoic Rum- Alicorn
- Posts : 4179
Brohoof! : 83
Join date : 2012-05-19
Age : 36
Location : Houston, TX
Character List:
Name: Dr. Painkiller
Sex: Male
Species: Pony
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Moodyman90 Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:57 pm
FUZZY!
That was a rather enjoyable chapter. Seemed to go on a bit long but at the same time it helps conveys the mental/spiritual/metaphysical journey Murky had to go through so I can give that a pass.
So my feelings of the chapter, the whole chapter...
I think "He ran towards the sunset to catch the last rays of sunlight" would be a good thing to put on a gravestone. Provided you don't come up with something better by the end of the story.
That was a rather enjoyable chapter. Seemed to go on a bit long but at the same time it helps conveys the mental/spiritual/metaphysical journey Murky had to go through so I can give that a pass.
So my feelings of the chapter, the whole chapter...
- Spoiler:
- The very beginning, with the seemingly falling forever in a dark void... the unknown passing of time and always remembering and forgetting... I admit I found that really creepy. More so then the wandering Wasteland limbo with the never setting sun and nobody being around.
The part about being able to have peace, even in a world that's not real and fragile.. my mind was going "Too good to be true" before it was revealed to be so... artificial, and the lack of anybody else also bugged me.
I admit you surprised me with those flashbacks. Well, mainly the first and last one. I thought the first one was really about showing him his mom did care for him, not that he fought back. And like Murky I didn't catch the "for now" part from the last one.
Also, you've ruined any chance of me going for a Legion ending in New Vegas. I had almost convinced myself to do it just for the achievements and to do some different quest, but you reminded me why I FUCKING HATE SLAVER! Fuck Barb(even though he's already dead), Fuck Grindstone, Fuck Chainlink Shackle, as of right now I'll be happy if it turns out that farmer was killed in the most horrible way possible. Like crushed under a bolder while surrounded by his slaves who either refused to help him or was too weak because he didn't feed them.
Don't have much to say about the rest other then
"Fuck yeah Brimstone!",
"Ha, Wildcard is insane anywhere",
glad to see Caduceus back in whatever form,
even if just mental projections Murky's friends are so awesome,
"Heh, my comment about Chainlink being the ponification of the worst the wasteland has to offer really shown through here",
love how Littlepip didn't turn out to be the last push Murky needed but I still loved that cameo from her,
And finally, what an ending to that chapter. I nearly cried a few times at how heartwarming it was.
I think "He ran towards the sunset to catch the last rays of sunlight" would be a good thing to put on a gravestone. Provided you don't come up with something better by the end of the story.
Moodyman90- Draconequus
- Posts : 8257
Brohoof! : 163
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 33
Character List:
Name: Moody Blues/ Moodstone
Sex: Male/ Male
Species: Earth Pony/ Unicorn
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Admiral Stoic Rum Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:08 pm
Moodyman90 wrote:FUZZY!
That was a rather enjoyable chapter. Seemed to go on a bit long but at the same time it helps conveys the mental/spiritual/metaphysical journey Murky had to go through so I can give that a pass.
So my feelings of the chapter, the whole chapter...
- Spoiler:
The part about being able to have peace, even in a world that's not real and fragile.. my mind was going "Too good to be true" before it was revealed to be so... artificial, and the lack of anybody else also bugged me.
I admit you surprised me with those flashbacks. Well, mainly the first and last one. I thought the first one was really about showing him his mom did care for him, not that he fought back. And like Murky I didn't catch the "for now" part from the last one.
Also, you've ruined any chance of me going for a Legion ending in New Vegas. I had almost convinced myself to do it just for the achievements and to do some different quest, but you reminded me why I FUCKING HATE SLAVER! Fuck Barb(even though he's already dead), Fuck Grindstone, Fuck Chainlink Shackle, as of right now I'll be happy if it turns out that farmer was killed in the most horrible way possible. Like crushed under a bolder while surrounded by his slaves who either refused to help him or was too weak because he didn't feed them.
Don't have much to say about the rest other then
"Fuck yeah Brimstone!",
"Ha, Wildcard is insane anywhere",
glad to see Caduceus back in whatever form,
even if just mental projections Murky's friends are so awesome,
"Heh, my comment about Chainlink being the ponification of the worst the wasteland has to offer really shown through here",
love how Littlepip didn't turn out to be the last push Murky needed but I still loved that cameo from her,
And finally, what an ending to that chapter. I nearly cried a few times at how heartwarming it was.
I think "He ran towards the sunset to catch the last rays of sunlight" would be a good thing to put on a gravestone. Provided you don't come up with something better by the end of the story.
but moody, there is no way on this green earth murky dies, he is giving an interview, so we already know that he lives. this story anyway. its so cool, eve if he may be on his deathbed, but I doubt that. you think this is an interview with velvet remedy about wielding generosity or magic/friendship?
That is what I took this story as for a long time.
Admiral Stoic Rum- Alicorn
- Posts : 4179
Brohoof! : 83
Join date : 2012-05-19
Age : 36
Location : Houston, TX
Character List:
Name: Dr. Painkiller
Sex: Male
Species: Pony
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Moodyman90 Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:37 pm
Other then Generosity what was the other Element that they where missing?
Also, I'm kinda worried about what's to come since there, what, at least 10 more chapters planned?
I mean, Murky Number Seven is the story that keeps making me go "I'm reading about a protagonist in a Fallout Equestria story, things are going to get a whole lot worse."
Also, I'm kinda worried about what's to come since there, what, at least 10 more chapters planned?
I mean, Murky Number Seven is the story that keeps making me go "I'm reading about a protagonist in a Fallout Equestria story, things are going to get a whole lot worse."
Moodyman90- Draconequus
- Posts : 8257
Brohoof! : 163
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 33
Character List:
Name: Moody Blues/ Moodstone
Sex: Male/ Male
Species: Earth Pony/ Unicorn
Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven
by Admiral Stoic Rum Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:43 am
Moodyman90 wrote:Other then Generosity what was the other Element that they where missing?
Also, I'm kinda worried about what's to come since there, what, at least 10 more chapters planned?
I mean, Murky Number Seven is the story that keeps making me go "I'm reading about a protagonist in a Fallout Equestria story, things are going to get a whole lot worse."
Friendship/Magic is the other one. Seems fitting he would wear a tiara.
Admiral Stoic Rum- Alicorn
- Posts : 4179
Brohoof! : 83
Join date : 2012-05-19
Age : 36
Location : Houston, TX
Character List:
Name: Dr. Painkiller
Sex: Male
Species: Pony
Page 12 of 22 • 1 ... 7 ... 11, 12, 13 ... 17 ... 22
Similar topics» [Fallout Equestria] Equestria at War : Tales From the Frontlines
» Fallout Equestria: Without a Spark
» ABC's of Fallout Equestria
» Fallout Equestria: The Kingdom
» Fallout Equestria: The Kingdom
» Fallout Equestria: Without a Spark
» ABC's of Fallout Equestria
» Fallout Equestria: The Kingdom
» Fallout Equestria: The Kingdom
Page 12 of 22
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum|
|
|
