Sister forum[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Thu Apr 10, 2014 12:38 am
I'm very sorry to hear he's not doing well... I hope he gets better soon... and that he can make it through with enough money...O. Hinds wrote:Somber has been quite sick and has lost 240 USD in work this month, and, when I asked if there was anything I could do to help, he said "Short of begging for money, I'm not sure." So I am now here begging for money for Somber. I'll understand if you don't have anything to give (I don't, after all), but I'm sure that, even if he'd prefer not to ask for it himself, he'd appreciate both the well-wishes the money represents and its ability to buy things like food and medicine. For those of you who've not donated to Somber before, the usual method is, as I understand it, sending money via PayPal to his email address (which you can find at the bottoms of most chapters).
*hugs Somber a little*
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:00 am
Yes, get well soon, Somber.WavemasterRyx wrote:I'm very sorry to hear he's not doing well... I hope he gets better soon... and that he can make it through with enough money...O. Hinds wrote:Somber has been quite sick and has lost 240 USD in work this month, and, when I asked if there was anything I could do to help, he said "Short of begging for money, I'm not sure." So I am now here begging for money for Somber. I'll understand if you don't have anything to give (I don't, after all), but I'm sure that, even if he'd prefer not to ask for it himself, he'd appreciate both the well-wishes the money represents and its ability to buy things like food and medicine. For those of you who've not donated to Somber before, the usual method is, as I understand it, sending money via PayPal to his email address (which you can find at the bottoms of most chapters).
*hugs Somber a little*
Jumping back to the Stable confusion - Chapel's Stable is #94 which was the smallest one; and #96 is now where Keeper came from where trading ruled the roost. So what number is the Shadowbolt Tower Stable now?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:11 am
Augh, now I'm confused.Evilgidgit wrote:Jumping back to the Stable confusion - Chapel's Stable is #94 which was the smallest one; and #96 is now where Keeper came from where trading ruled the roost. So what number is the Shadowbolt Tower Stable now?
89 was in Flank, packed with chems.
90 was unfinished.
94 was tiny and unfinished.
96 was in Shadowbolt Tower.
99 was BJ's stable.
...yeah, it seems like Finders should be from a previously unvisited stable. Because 96 definitely didn't get overwhelmed by unfriendly locals... perhaps the fix would be to set it back to 95 and change his stated location for that Stable. Maybe it's under Paradise, for example.
Interesting note from chapter 53:
>S, we’ve run interference with Image and Morale again. Please try to be a little more circumspect, if you can. The story is that the “material” for Stable 24 is for a satirical, ironic, postmodern performance piece. P&P are keeping PP occupied with infiltrators in Manehattan; hopefully, she won’t get a twitchy tail on you again. Give my love to AB. -E.
...Eclipse was in on this all? Or am I forgetting another E?
Last edited by SilentCarto on Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:18 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by OneMoreDaySK Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:13 am
@Hinds
What's the timeframe for the donations? Just ASAP?
Re: twins
Maybe both alicorns? Or Dragonequuses? Or Eldrich Abominations?
"Cth'ulu, go clean your room!"
What's the timeframe for the donations? Just ASAP?
Re: twins
Maybe both alicorns? Or Dragonequuses? Or Eldrich Abominations?
"Cth'ulu, go clean your room!"
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Silver136 Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:28 am
I thought 94 had been raided at some point. Didn't Blackjack find records of some old equipment that used to be there on the terminal?SilentCarto wrote:94 was tiny and unfinished.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Camsy Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:28 am
These chapters are starting to get so long, each individual one could be made into a short paperback novel...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:41 am
...Oh b**********! It wasn't on the wiki. Okay, 95!Evilgidgit wrote:Yes, get well soon, Somber.WavemasterRyx wrote:I'm very sorry to hear he's not doing well... I hope he gets better soon... and that he can make it through with enough money...O. Hinds wrote:Somber has been quite sick and has lost 240 USD in work this month, and, when I asked if there was anything I could do to help, he said "Short of begging for money, I'm not sure." So I am now here begging for money for Somber. I'll understand if you don't have anything to give (I don't, after all), but I'm sure that, even if he'd prefer not to ask for it himself, he'd appreciate both the well-wishes the money represents and its ability to buy things like food and medicine. For those of you who've not donated to Somber before, the usual method is, as I understand it, sending money via PayPal to his email address (which you can find at the bottoms of most chapters).
*hugs Somber a little*
Jumping back to the Stable confusion - Chapel's Stable is #94 which was the smallest one; and #96 is now where Keeper came from where trading ruled the roost. So what number is the Shadowbolt Tower Stable now?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:57 am
Emerald. I was forgetting her too.SilentCarto wrote:Augh, now I'm confused.Evilgidgit wrote:Jumping back to the Stable confusion - Chapel's Stable is #94 which was the smallest one; and #96 is now where Keeper came from where trading ruled the roost. So what number is the Shadowbolt Tower Stable now?
89 was in Flank, packed with chems.
90 was unfinished.
94 was tiny and unfinished.
96 was in Shadowbolt Tower.
99 was BJ's stable.
...yeah, it seems like Finders should be from a previously unvisited stable. Because 96 definitely didn't get overwhelmed by unfriendly locals... perhaps the fix would be to set it back to 95 and change his stated location for that Stable. Maybe it's under Paradise, for example.
Interesting note from chapter 53:
>S, we’ve run interference with Image and Morale again. Please try to be a little more circumspect, if you can. The story is that the “material” for Stable 24 is for a satirical, ironic, postmodern performance piece. P&P are keeping PP occupied with infiltrators in Manehattan; hopefully, she won’t get a twitchy tail on you again. Give my love to AB. -E.
...Eclipse was in on this all? Or am I forgetting another E?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Thu Apr 10, 2014 9:39 pm
Yeah, it's a single room with a Stable-Tec data outlet.Silver136 wrote:I thought 94 had been raided at some point. Didn't Blackjack find records of some old equipment that used to be there on the terminal?SilentCarto wrote:94 was tiny and unfinished.
“Welcome to Stable 94. The smallest stable in the Wasteland,” Charity said as she stepped through the door. Peeking inside, I immediately saw she was right. This wasn’t a stable entry like in 99. The walls seemed even thicker than usual and opened up into a large space that was maybe twenty feet high, forty feet wide, and sixty feet deep. There weren’t any offshoots or other hallways in here. The entire stable was just this one, singular room.
-Chapter 53
Ah! Yes. Right. That makes more sense.O. Hinds wrote:Emerald. I was forgetting her too.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:01 am
::Flops in and groans.:: Well, that's three days lost. Tried to go into work. They caught me on the way in, took one look at me, and sent me home. So yeah... thanks everyone. You've really come through again when I needed help the most.
::Passes out.::
::Passes out.::
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by RoboRed Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:16 am
Try not to get yourself killed, brah.
Other news: latest blogpost from Kkat: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/308952/the-cheerilee-orb
Other news: latest blogpost from Kkat: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/308952/the-cheerilee-orb
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by FeatherDust Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:40 am
Nah.Borsuq wrote:what if that mare that Fluttershy arrenged to have her baby (Tarot) be given to Marigold wasn't Twilight, but... somepony else?
I know that it's a bit to unlikely for things to turn out like this practically at the last minute, but hey, I'm just speculating here.
Just from a writing/narrative perspective, that would be a terrible twist. We already had a Big Reveal about who BJ's actual ancestor was. Can't go back and change that now without ruining that impact and making it look like the author is just making stuff up (or just pulling Shayamalan twists for no purpose other than having a twist).
Anyway, I see no reason that a door keyed for Twilight's genetic line would open for Luna's. Luna, as princess, has priority access to various government systems, but not to a door Twilight enchanted herself. That's like saying the FBI's phone tapping ability means they know your locker combination. They're two different things.
I don't see why one implies the other. Sterility is not an innate effect of a healing factor. Each story can have its own facts about an imaginary process like that, but there's no reason to think that regeneration is inherently destructive to offspring. After all, normal human healing doesn't destroy gametes. Your body "knows" they're supposed to have a haploid set of genes. Accelerating the healing process doesn't suddenly change that.what is up with Rampage's Phoenix Talisman?
Phoenix Talisman is making the user/wearer regenerate automaticly...
So... seeing from how many things the Talisman protects her from, should it have also "fixed" certain parts of her? And yet, she had a baby...
The FEV sterility problem was an accidental side effect, not an intended or necessary part of giving supermutants a healing factor; and the Phoenix Talisman isn't FEV. Even IMP isn't FEV. I don't recall if we've ever been told whether or not IMP-Alicorns are genetically compatible with normal ponies, but obviously the Goddess thought creating male alicorns was the only necessary step to a breeding population.
In any case, the Phoenix is magic, and it does only what magic does. That is to say, we don't know the technical background on how or why pony magic works, so we can only understand it by observation. Rampage had a child; therefore the phoenix talisman doesn't destroy gametes or fetuses. QED. We could theorize that it only worked because she avoided physical damage during that period, though. It's virtually guaranteed the Phoenix wouldn't regenerate the baby if Rampage got disintegrated during her pregnancy, and it's not certain whether the fetus could survive Rampage "dying" (via, say, decapitation) and then regenerating.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Fri Apr 11, 2014 1:41 pm
On the subject of the Phoenix Talisman, what would happen if you surgically removed it without leaving life-threatening wounds? Would Rampage just disintegrate, or revert into a blank, or would a new Rampage just generate from the talisman. More importantly, what would happen if you implanted that talisman into another host?
What if the Legate doesn't have a Phoenix talisman of his own, but instead has Rampage's, which Cogs surgically removed using the advanced medical tech in the Core, and that's what constituted Rampage's deal with Steel Rain?
What if the Legate doesn't have a Phoenix talisman of his own, but instead has Rampage's, which Cogs surgically removed using the advanced medical tech in the Core, and that's what constituted Rampage's deal with Steel Rain?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Borsuq Fri Apr 11, 2014 2:58 pm
Scienza wrote:On the subject of the Phoenix Talisman, what would happen if you surgically removed it without leaving life-threatening wounds? Would Rampage just disintegrate, or revert into a blank, or would a new Rampage just generate from the talisman. More importantly, what would happen if you implanted that talisman into another host?
Well, I believe the part at from 4:28 to 5:00 would happen:
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Fri Apr 11, 2014 3:57 pm
But that was under battlefield circumstances, where the process of removing the talisman combined with the wounds Shujaa had received would cause her to expire without the talisman. What would happen if you did it in a surgical setting, like say, in one of the medical research centers or hospitals which undoubtedly resides in the Core, and in such a way that the previous host's body could survive.swicked wrote:Isn't that what happened with Twist? Shujuya (or whatever) ripped hers out and shoved it in Twist?Scienza wrote:More importantly, what would happen if you implanted that talisman into another host?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:05 pm
::Flops:: I give up...
So... I've been trying to file my taxes all week. The 200 would have been really nice right now, you know? Turbotax kept sending them in, and the IRS kept rejecting them. So finally I sat around for almost an hour before someone helped me. An hour later "Oh! It appears someone has filed under that SSN!"
Yup. So. On top of a raging respiratory infection, an almost depleted bank account, AND a huge wad of student work that's "disappeared" from my classroom... I also have to go into the IRS and SS offices and clear up some identity theft. OH! And I have no idea how they got my number...
So at this point, I'm wondering what's next? I find out my pnumonia is lung cancer, or a girlfriend from 10 years ago tracks me down with my kids in tow... can't wait to find out....
::Flops face down.::
So... I've been trying to file my taxes all week. The 200 would have been really nice right now, you know? Turbotax kept sending them in, and the IRS kept rejecting them. So finally I sat around for almost an hour before someone helped me. An hour later "Oh! It appears someone has filed under that SSN!"
Yup. So. On top of a raging respiratory infection, an almost depleted bank account, AND a huge wad of student work that's "disappeared" from my classroom... I also have to go into the IRS and SS offices and clear up some identity theft. OH! And I have no idea how they got my number...
So at this point, I'm wondering what's next? I find out my pnumonia is lung cancer, or a girlfriend from 10 years ago tracks me down with my kids in tow... can't wait to find out....
::Flops face down.::
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:09 pm
Uh-oh. I'm guessing in Kkat's headcanon, Cheerilee may have been a victim of the Littlehorn massacre.RoboRed wrote:Try not to get yourself killed, brah.
Other news: latest blogpost from Kkat: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/308952/the-cheerilee-orb
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:11 pm
Somber wrote:::Flops:: I give up...
So... I've been trying to file my taxes all week. The 200 would have been really nice right now, you know? Turbotax kept sending them in, and the IRS kept rejecting them. So finally I sat around for almost an hour before someone helped me. An hour later "Oh! It appears someone has filed under that SSN!"
Yup. So. On top of a raging respiratory infection, an almost depleted bank account, AND a huge wad of student work that's "disappeared" from my classroom... I also have to go into the IRS and SS offices and clear up some identity theft. OH! And I have no idea how they got my number...
So at this point, I'm wondering what's next? I find out my pnumonia is lung cancer, or a girlfriend from 10 years ago tracks me down with my kids in tow... can't wait to find out....
::Flops face down.::
Take care of yourself man. For every Black, there's always a Birthday.
That may be one of the corniest things I've ever said.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:27 pm
Oh no... Good luck. If there's anything we can do, let us know.Somber wrote:::Flops:: I give up...
So... I've been trying to file my taxes all week. The 200 would have been really nice right now, you know? Turbotax kept sending them in, and the IRS kept rejecting them. So finally I sat around for almost an hour before someone helped me. An hour later "Oh! It appears someone has filed under that SSN!"
Yup. So. On top of a raging respiratory infection, an almost depleted bank account, AND a huge wad of student work that's "disappeared" from my classroom... I also have to go into the IRS and SS offices and clear up some identity theft. OH! And I have no idea how they got my number...
So at this point, I'm wondering what's next? I find out my pnumonia is lung cancer, or a girlfriend from 10 years ago tracks me down with my kids in tow... can't wait to find out....
::Flops face down.::
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:17 pm
I'm very sorry things are getting worse, sir... I wish I could do more to help... *hugs very gently*Somber wrote:::Flops face down.::
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Sat Apr 12, 2014 2:38 pm
I hope things work out for you soon, Somber. You are too good and nice of a person to be going through trials like this.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Sat Apr 12, 2014 3:05 pm
First tiny bit of good news. Went in to another clinic and got some real antibiotics for a change. Hopefully it will actually knock some of these bugs out of my system. I also have all the paperwork I need to clear up the identity mess on monday and they shouldn't hold it against me.
Also, got a Rarity Beanie baby while I was at the pharmacy. Saw it and just went "Mine!" so now I have some fabluosity in my life.
Also, got a Rarity Beanie baby while I was at the pharmacy. Saw it and just went "Mine!" so now I have some fabluosity in my life.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Revan Seiei Sat Apr 12, 2014 6:43 pm
Good to hear Somber, hope things keep going your way.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sat Apr 12, 2014 6:58 pm
Aye. :)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Apr 13, 2014 12:31 am
...can I get someone else to pay my taxes, too?Somber wrote:I also have to go into the IRS and SS offices and clear up some identity theft. OH! And I have no idea how they got my number...
Seriously, though, unless you see additional evidence of malicious identity theft, I wouldn't invest too much worry in this. Someone probably just mistyped their own SSN as yours. Hanlon's Razor and all that.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by CD Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:59 pm
Somber wrote:First tiny bit of good news. Went in to another clinic and got some real antibiotics for a change. Hopefully it will actually knock some of these bugs out of my system. I also have all the paperwork I need to clear up the identity mess on monday and they shouldn't hold it against me.
Good luck with that. Filing taxes is hard enough without the report bumping. I completely feel your pain.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:59 am
Oh, Somber, I hope you start feeling better and that the taxes work out and that the SSN thing doesn't go any further. Those are two things nobody needs, let alone coming at the same time.
Moving on to happier matters, I'll just say that until today the high point of my week probably involved a grammar discussion in which I thought about and retaught myself indirect objects for the first time in years, and that was blown away by reading Lucidity today. So thank you.
Hope for next week: having the time to keep up with the forum in real time!
Moving on to happier matters, I'll just say that until today the high point of my week probably involved a grammar discussion in which I thought about and retaught myself indirect objects for the first time in years, and that was blown away by reading Lucidity today. So thank you.
- Chapter Forty Three Running Thoughts:
- The sheets were warm and soft; they must have used magic to freshen them up. I stared up at images of pastel pegasus fillies romping and playing together in the clouds. Frozen eyes staring down at me from the ceiling. There were more on the walls, gamboling in picturesque green glades with cute little bunnies, squirrels, and birds. Gentle music was piped in from somewhere, along with the sound of birds chirping. Soft bed. Soft sheets. Soft room.
And from the first page, I'm left disoriented and confused. Did I miss a chapter? No, the links are consecutive. I remember checking that repeatedly on my first read-through.
At least the restraints on my legs were something firm. Something I could jerk rhythmically against to keep myself from drowning in pastel pony fuzziness.
You and me both. Also it is hard to see Blackjack dealing well with "pastel pony fuzziness," but given 65, maybe.
“You know we’re not supposed to call you that, Miss Fish. Please don’t yell at me…” She shrank back in anticipation. I simply lay there patiently, sighing. They really knew how to pick the perfect guard; a tough one I could resist, but this...
Sounds about right. Also, yay Harpica!
Pudding served in a wax paper bowl. No spoons. Not after the last escape attempt.
Hey, it's not the first time she's assaulted a medical professional with a spoon. Remember Triage? Or maybe it was one of the Zodiacs. Definitely in a hospital, though.
Smokey and Cuffs watched for the slightest chance I’d try something as Harpica got me out of bed and changed me, washed me, and then put me in the mobile restraint harness, a tight collection of straps and rings snug enough that I could hobble around while running was still all but impossible, let alone fighting. They locked my forehooves together for extra safety while handling me.
If they haven't gone with the full Hannibal Lector solution, you haven't been trying hard enough.
I just sat there. “What? It’s not like I’d bite her ear off or something.” That was so last week.
Oh, so maybe she has the Prizefighter perk from Fallout 2?
Nevertheless, Smokey and Cuffs put the bit in my mouth and muzzled me. Better safe than sorry.
Never mind, I guess she was trying hard enough.
“As if that matters to the Hoof. Heard talk that if they put all the juice from the dams and power plants into the city they could just melt the mountains between here and Dawn Bay. We could cook them right off the coast and back across the strait.”
“No way,” Smokey countered, “there’s not enough juice in all of Equestria for that.” Then she paused. “Is there?”
I still figure no. At least not to do it quickly.
[Jetstream] looked at Echo beside her. “Echo? Have you radioed in to command yet? We need a search party to find our missing ponies. We just left them out there! They need us!”
The small yellow earth pony looked at her, then at Vanity. He shook his head somberly and forced a sickly smile. “Yeah. Sure. I’m sure they’ll scramble a search party any second.”
“Good. Can’t leave them behind. Damned stripes will kill them,” she said as she stared at nothing, then gestured with her hoof. “Twist, I need you to find Big Macintosh. Applesnack, you and Doof up on the roof. We might need covering fire. Psalm… keep an eye out for our missing. We have to bring him home,” she whimpered as she hung her head.
Well that's depressing, and yet another thing someone didn't deserve. I like the switch from "them" to "him" at the end.
Once we’d crossed the courtyard and gone inside, we took an elevator up two floors and reached the offices and therapy rooms where they were trying to ‘help’ us. I closed my eyes as they wheeled me in, waiting for the doors decorated with four stars to close.
I'm sure this has no significance at all.
I could hear the soft ticks of the clock pendulum in the corner. Glass cover; possible weapons. I could smell the leather-bound books on the bookcase; bludgeons and potential shields. There was a rustle and the sound of an envelope being opened. Letter opener. That’s what I needed.
I love it when Blackjack gets to be clever and creative violently. It kind of makes me think of Rainbow Dash.
“No. I’ve been here,” I replied softly. Of course, I had no idea where ‘here’ was. Holograms? Some sort of incredibly elaborate spell? Robots? Maybe I’d been captured by the Harbingers and taken to some facility for… who knew what? The last thing I remembered was running into a whole band of Seekers out in the rain and then… here. Now they were playing some kind of crazy mind game. It had to be that…
And there's some clarity. But misdirection nonetheless.
“You yourself were an initiate to the city guard until the… incident. Enough said about that at the moment,”
I like the reuse of "incident." Makes an interesting parallel.
“There’s quite a few in the Ministry of Peace who think we should simply scour away your mind entirely, a complete magical lobotomization for our protection and so that you could have a second chance. Traditional therapy techniques simply aren’t working, and our attempts at modifying your memories only seem to be making things worse.”
Oh hey where have I seen that later on.
“Really? Are those really the only options you’ll consider?” I glowered at him, and he sighed again. “Let me ask you this. Which is more likely? That you are the sole survivor of a doomed stable after a horrific apocalypse, carrying a mysterious PipBuck, struggling against impossible odds as you unravel a plot centuries old, or that you’re the victim of some psychological trauma that’s resulted in the creation of a post-apocalyptic wasteland where you could be the protagonist blasting and shooting everyone who has caused you harm?”
Wow, what a pro. Playing "which is more likely" with someone with paranoid delusions. Great job, man.
“That would be quite a feat… if this Office of Interministry Affairs existed.” He trotted over to his bookcase and levitated several books, then set them down on his desk. “I’ve looked everywhere I could and consulted both the Ministry Mares and the government. No such office exists, nor does a Director Goldenblood.”
"The Devil's greatest accomplishment was convincing the world he didn't exist.”
“You populated your fantasy with ponies you’ve known in your life, assigning them motives and facades according to your attitudes. Some were at random, and others are the result of various traumas. Steel Rain’s violation of your body cast him in the role of villain… and you destroyed his base and power in your fantasy as you couldn’t in the real world. As for your ‘friends’,” he said solemnly, “I suspect they represent larger themes and psychological needs.” He stood and trotted around closer to me. “Given your dissatisfaction with life in general, I think that you’ve blanked out or replaced all your memories of the real world with that of the Wasteland. A place where you can simultaneously be both hero and victim. Where you can matter and affect the larger world.”
The thing about this chapter is that everything is so damn plausible.
The news gave constant droning reports of losses suffered by zebra forces. Sometimes I swore they repeated as if the news of the day and last week were interchangeable. There wasn’t a real feeling of time in Hoofington. There was today. Today was better than yesterday. Tomorrow would be worse if you didn’t work hard. I yearned for a date to pin down when things were. Had I been here a month? Two? Three?
So helpless feeling, and lost. And if today is forever, then what do all those years of memories from before matter?
I graduated from gelatin to fresh apples and carrots... after weeks here, the thought of a cannibal plague seemed almost cartoonish. I was surprised at how tasteless the celery was, though, which was odd given how much the other patients liked it.
Well, there are a couple explanations. The basic one is that Blackjack has weird tastes. The other is, of course, that Blackjack had never had celery.
Then I’d blink, and it all went away. And I’d just curl up and cry, missing my friends and wishing they were with me.
On the other hoof… I got to see Mom again. It was the first thing I’d looked forward to since I got here; if she was alive, then that meant that I hadn’t killed my own stable. That I hadn’t killed those foals. That as violent and disturbed as I might be, there was some hope for me in the everafter.
Well, there may be another chance anyway. And could it be sweeter than meeting her among the stars? Perhaps not, but then, it would mean she'd still be alive and you could fix things, have a more normal relationship, maybe even better than before.
“No, Blackjack. No…” Scotch Tape whimpered as she backed further and further into the corner of the bedroom in Star House. The thing that had been Glory… pretending to be Glory… lay in a broken, bloody pool. Rampage was out on the stairs, a piece of the banister permanently wedged in her brain. I’d tied it there to make sure her regeneration couldn’t push it out. She’d been almost as tough to take down as the real Rampage.
There was just one more. “No, Blackjack! No!” she screamed as she raised her legs in futility.
Hooves came up. Hooves went down. Hooves came up. Hooves went down…
And yet worse than the possibility of the Harbingers putting her through this is that maybe Blackjack did snap, and she's become the Reaper, the monster killing everything in her path and all that she once loved, as she had so feared.
“Well, considering in Stable 99 none of us got a choice, I guess it doesn’t matter now. Honestly… being Security isn’t so bad. After all…” I risked another look at her, but she just blinked at me. It was just a few seconds… but for those seconds she seemed completely lost in thought.
Processing... ||| 15%
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And then she wasn’t. “After all, Security saves ponies,” she said, exactly as I remembered. She patted my hoof tenderly.
She moved around the table and hugged me. There were several ‘pong’s sounded, along with orderlies moving quickly out into the yard. “Don’t worry… we’ll make it all right,” she promised in my ear. But this was wrong. My mother wouldn’t do this. The stable always came first! I was the fuck up! But… I didn’t care.
It can be hard to tell when Blackjack will go for the comfortable lie over the painful truth. But when it's something she's needed for so long . . .
I really didn’t want to. I didn’t like this place. The patients staring vacantly out into space or talking to themselves. Recipients of too many memory modifications and horrors of the war. Happyhorn wasn’t a place for healing; I suspected that Trueblood went through so much effort with me because I was a long shot chance to actually get better. For everypony else, this was a hospice for the mad, a place to keep them safe and sound and out of sight before they died.
Who is this perceptive person and what have you done with Blackjack?
Rarity looked down at the limp buck with clear unease. She utterly ignored my presence as she sat beside him. “Number seven,” she said quietly as she peeled the sheet back. For a moment, I was certain that she was doing something indecent, but her eyes were drawn to his flank. His blank flank.
“You’d think after seven failures, we would have finally gotten it right…” Rarity said as she lifted a book from her saddlebag
So some context into Eternity and how much they've tried already.
As somepony who’d seen more treated hide than I had any right to, I could say with authority that it wasn’t like any book I could ever imagine Rarity allowing on her person. The cover was bound in black and silver gray in the pattern of a zebra glyphmark.
Well, you know what parchment is, right? Riiiiiight?
“There isn’t anything wrong with him. Physically… medically… his body is just fine. Even his mind is intact, with all his memories. Whatever was done to him was completely outside the experience of unicorn magic.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “I’ve considered bringing Zecora in… or even trying to find medical experts in Yellow River and seeing if we can convince them to help us.”
And of course, if it isn't body or mind, what's left? The real question is why it's not leaving anything, or why he isn't at least as responsive as a blank.
Rarity sighed. “Fluttershy. Please, as tragic as this is, he wasn’t anypony important. Just an east side gang member with a history of assaults and attacks on others…” she said in a subdued voice as she surreptitiously transferred the black book to her bag.
And we see in just a few short words some of how things have gone wrong.
“Please… Rarity… when this war is over… can we please… please… go back to Ponyville? Can we make it like it was again? All of us together?”
Rarity’s mouth moved silently as she held out a hoof, tears running down her pale cheeks and sending her eyeliner dripping. “I… I… We will, Fluttershy. Somehow. I’ll find some way we can all be together again. There must be a way,” she said as she looked over her shoulder at the bag containing the black book.
Wuh-huh-hyyyyy!?
Of course, trying to stop a psychopathic Marauder might be more than I could handle on my own…
Or could I handle her at all? I wasn’t Security. I wasn’t even Blackjack. I was Go Fish. What was I thinking?
I was thinking… somepony needed to stop this.
I might not know exactly who I was… Blackjack or Go Fish… but either way, I’d been a security mare of some kind.
And Security saves ponies. It was the first thought I’d had in a long while that felt solid.
Getting back to the core. Good. It should help clarify things.
Rising from a smashed table was a dark form, a familiar form. She wore black riot armor that covered every inch of her. Slowly, her helmeted head turned towards me, looking over her shoulder. I heard the dry, raspy breaths taken in through her black mask’s breather.
Good making the appearance here, where the similarities might not be too stark all at once, as opposed to later when the situation is the same, too. Now, from the perspective of someone reading the first time, you have to start thinking of just how the figure can be familiar if it's in head-to-toe riot armor that doesn't even leave the face exposed.
“Easier to bury and mourn a war hero than to hear they were abducted in the chaos of the assassination attempt, Lieutenant,” the red mare with the glittery hooves said in low, serious tones. “You were right. You were right, but the government simply dusted off their hooves and forgot about them.”
“Nooo… how could they?”
I might have asked myself the same question, but then, this is the FOE government we're talking about.
“Get this to the zebra capital and wait. When everything is ready, it will glow. Tap it twice and we will trigger a mass teleportation megaspell to take every pony within ten miles safely back to Canterlot. You don’t need to find the camp yourself. Just stay within the zebra capital and evade capture by any means. It should be charged and ready in four days. You have that long to reach Roam. Can you do it, Lieutenant Jetstream?”
Jetstream didn’t speak. She didn’t need to. With a few photographs, Garnet had given her redemption. Garnet opened up the saddlebag and put the talisman in place. “Here are seven days of rations and some basic equipment to help you evade their patrols. Stay in the city and be careful. Be safe. Be ready for the talisman’s signal.”
Now I think that at this point Garnet may have gone to Horse's side, or maybe even someone else's. Pretty sure that by then Goldenblood was long out of the O.I.A., but I don't know what Horse stood to gain by this. Unless it's Cognitum's game, or the Legate's?
Rising, Garnet stared at me for the longest time. Then she smiled and shrugged. “Oh well. In four days, it either won’t matter, or it won’t matter.” And humming to herself, she made her way towards the exit.
Of course, the surveillance camera recordings.
“I’m here… because a long, long time ago, a pony I respected immensely asked me to sacrifice my life. To be eternally bonded to a megaspell to prevent the destruction of the country he wanted to save more than anything,” he said as he drew a card.
Truth, lie, what? Maybe just what he thought at the time? It's what I've generally believed, but I wouldn't want to jump on it out of confirmation bias.
“And I’m talking to you because in about a minute a pony is going to be putting a bullet through your head and taking me to Goddesses know where for Goddesses know what. I’m using every bit of my strength to try and break you out of here before that happens.”
Now this is interesting, as it's Harbingers, but under Dawn. Hence the real threat of death. The "don't know" is BS, of course, but trying to help seems genuine, even if the motivation could be split.
“I can’t keep going on like this. I’m killing… fuck… Dealer, do you know what I did? I cut a pegasus’ wing off… cut it off! I gutted another like he was a radhog. I didn’t even blink, and I cut him into pieces. I nearly ripped Dusk’s face off!” I said as I lay back in the pillow. “Why shouldn’t I believe Trueblood? I’m sick! I’m dangerous! I’m a fucking psychopath!”
“No… you’re not,” he replied. “You may be many things, but a psychopath isn’t one of them. You wouldn’t whine nearly as much if you were.”
First laugh out loud funny moment of the chapter.
And we had no idea if the Ministry Mares were truly loyal to Princess Luna. Were they working to their own ends? Why else would Twilight research how to create alicorns if not to turn herself into one and rule as Princess Twilight? Or perhaps all her friends together as the Ministry Princesses?
Note that this chapter was published maybe a couple weeks after the end of season two.
He was against EC-1101, against anything that made Luna’s assassination an immediate transfer of power. It was a system ripe for exploitation. And the closer things got to the end, the more certain Goldenblood was that somepony was attempting to use EC-1101 to replace Luna.
It did play into Cognitum's hand. If that's the source, it's just going to show he know's when something's fishy.
“You can unlock me, Doctor. I’m not going anywhere. Because you’re right. I do need help,” I said with a small smile. “I won’t cause a fuss anymore. I promise.” He now looked wary at my change in attitude. I sniffed as I leaned back in the chair, feeling the tears run down my cheeks. “And I want you to help me. Because… I don’t know how to help myself any more. I’m so frustrated and scared that I’m going to fly apart… and hurt someone bad. And I understand now you really do want to help me.”
“Go Fish. I never expected this…” he murmured, looking almost scared. “This is quite a breakthrough. I know you’ve never trusted us here at Happyhorn. Perhaps we should stop here. Ruminate and reflect on what this means. Perhaps you’d like to go to another of Octavia’s concerts? With your mother?”
Either the simulation is playing along, or it's pretty dumb. Maybe even Sweetie Belle dumb.
She nodded and sniffed. “Happyhorn Gardens. A place to treat wartime stress disorder in patients where simple memory manipulation spells are insufficient.” She closed her eyes. “We haven’t had an actual patient in so long. Trespassers, yes… but never a patient. And it’s been so long since any of the doctors or staff have logged in. We’ve just been standing by, even as our nodes have been failing one after the next. We’re at only twelve percent of our original capacity.”
And suddenly, the computer is extra sweet and vulnerable. (Just like what Blackjack doesn't like attacking.) But given the powers of their computers, it's not so hard to believe.
With you, we were able to construct a fully integrated experience based on your memories and the recordings here at Happyhorn.” Then she sighed, pouting. “Except you kept seeing through it and regressing back to your self-destructive impulses.”
“Self-destructive?” I asked with a nervous little smile. “I’m not that bad.” Am I?
Hah!
Even your sexual inclinations are oriented towards being excited by pain and punishment
. . .
I said and then suddenly flushed. “And I do not get off on pain and punishment!”
Well, maybe not as such. But being in someone else's power?
Scotch Tape shivered against me. “We’ve been trying to put you in calm, safe, controlled simulations for treatment… but you have violently rejected every single one.”
Who could see that coming? Why would Blackjack respond well to "calm, safe, controlled"? She's only ever developed and grown as a person in an anxious, violent, and unpredictable environment.
“Is this your personality... or are you acting like this because of me?”
Glory looked over at P-21 and then Rampage. Scotch Tape eyed Glory carefully for a moment. Then all four of them answered simultaneously, “Yes.”
HAPPYHORN COMPUTER NODE UNHELPFUL ANSWER BRIGADE YAY!
“Your dichotomy partially protected you; your Blackjack ego is dealing with what your Go Fish persona could not. It also caused your breakdown in the first place,” he said with a sour grunt. “If you weren’t so mentally damaged, you would have slept and avoided the trauma altogether.”
This is sounding a lot like what Cogs was saying in 65 about Blackjack's mind and soul.
“A definite sign of the mental and emotional damage you’ve suffered,” Glory said softly above me. “As is this place. It doesn’t have to be dark. Your subconscious is... terrifying.”
Ditto.
Bodies. So many bodies... missing their faces. Missing legs. All killed by me. Shot, cut, and smashed to death. Of course they weren’t still. They howled and screamed, and those that could were clawing their way up the sides. I even saw a familiar teal filly torn in two screaming my name. The ruined, skinless front half of Deus scrambled up after me.
Something chomped down upon my tail, and I looked back to see a small crushed form biting my black and red striped tail and pulling me back down. I dug in my forehooves and then kicked out. Once. Twice. Finally, her skull popped and she went tumbling back into the seething mass. I forced my way up the quivering slope of decayed roadbed and finally flopped over the edge. With a rumble, the sides collapsed into the howling pit. All was silent once more as I stared up at my tiny light.
“Like I said...” Scotch whimpered, “terrifying.”
Slowly, I pulled myself to my hooves. “I... guess I’m feeling some guilt for some of the ponies I’ve killed?” I suggested sheepishly. The four of them stared back at me.
Kind of a callback to and reversal of "even the dead were silent." Also, scenery porn. The ending there is great, and on that note I have to wonder just how many expressions Glory, Rampage, and P-21 (especially P-21) have for "no shit, Blackjack." Which is of course a very different thing from just "no shit."
“Right. So... ahem... you’ve seen worse, right?” Again, that long stare. I felt my mane kinking up just from their look. What, was I really that bad?
You'd think that at some point they might have. But then again, they were looking at their specific subset of ponies who had issues even after memory erasure or replacement, so given that I can see it.
Black, thorny vines were curling up them as I watched. Their razor-sharp tips scraped against the wet, decaying brick as the crumbling road became more like a muddy trail.
Now they just need to come out and grab someone, ideally also spraying them with pollen or whatever.
Then a mare said quietly, “No, Blackjack. We need to die.”
I looked at Rampage, Glory, and Scotch. “Tell me that was one of you...”
Then Rampage was shot in the head. The bullet of a high powered rifle tore her skull into bloody chunks of gray, white, and red. And unlike the real Rampage, this one didn’t get up again. She exploded into a cloud a white motes that evaporated into the air. Glory, P-21, and Scotch all jumped behind me as I looked through the tangled bushes at the unicorn mare in black. She looked down her massive sniper rifle at me, the light of my spell gleaming off her goggles and the lens of her scope.
Now I have to think that this is part of Psalm's influence. Not so much the thought she needs to die, but the sniper rifle. After all, it's one of the weapons she never feels that comfortable using, especially for real sniping. However, since she herself is the target, that could make an exception.
I lifted my IF-88 Ironpony in my magical glow and grinned down at the mare in black.
Hopefully this isn't the closest she gets.
All I could do was walk as the thorns tore at me and ripped at my flesh. I was an idiot. I deserved this, but I couldn’t just stop. Pieces of armor and self were torn away, but I was almost there.
Protip: thinking about how you deserve this and are an idiot probably don't help when your enemy is your subconscious, which probably includes your self-loathing and insecurities.
That wasn’t the point. I had to get out of here... I couldn’t stop. Stopping was death. Stopping was failure. I had to win. No matter how bad it hurt.
Wasn't that the problem? The one that Blackjack used to separate herself from her friends?
I thought I’d put it behind me. I thought I’d dealt with it... and I had. Superficially. I’d buried it. I’d blamed myself... then I’d stopped short of holding myself responsible.
Well, didn't you have a habit of explicitly putting things in mental closets and closing the door?
“And lets not even begin to talk about the physical damage incurred from alcoholism and repeated cranial impacts. And--”
Binge drinking is not the same thing as alcoholism, though they can go together. Just saying.
A part of me wanted to race after her and kick her ass, blow her head off, and piss on her corpse.
Okay, the pissing part's new, I think.
I’d popped out and put two .45-70 rounds from Duty and Sacrifice right into the face of a unicorn Seeker with a missile launcher.
Holy crap those are powerful revolvers.
After the fight in the camp, this battle now was anti-climatic. Even boring.
I'd just point out that the fight in the camp was arguably pretty anti-climactic itself, given how Blackjack was just steamrolling everyone.
I telekinetically flung mud into the eyes of the stallion on the left who’d left his visor up, then a second later blew out the knees of the mare on the right. Her face went into the mud, bullets churning the ground as she screamed and fought to bring her forebody up to shoot me while her partner sprayed violently and blindly. I took three steps to the right out of his field of fire, pressed Vigilance to the ear hole of his helmet, and blew his brains out the other side.
Then I stepped past the mare struggling in the mud, and for good measure, put one round in each of her back legs as well. She lay there screaming and sobbing. I patted myself on the back as I’d moved on. Wasn’t I so merciful? Wasn’t I so good to have not blown her brains out too? Looking at it now... I wanted to buck myself. Hard.
Yeah, that's pretty fair. I also wonder what P-21 would think about the "mercy" given to the mare and the near(?)-execution of the male.
From the shadows of the room, the mare in black slowly emerged. I felt a thrill rush through me. Okay. Mystery solved. Time to smash face! “I knew you’d follow me!” I shouted as she brought out her two submachineguns.
Again, the SMG is something that Blackjack rareley uses.
“Blackjack, no!” yelled Scotch Tape, but it didn’t matter. Once I’d beaten her, I’d be okay. She was the one behind this. She was the one trying to keep me from realizing the truth. I hadn’t done anything wrong here after all. Whatever these computers had thought I’d done had been nothing. Maybe it was all an elaborate deception to keep me here!
This paragraph is just beautiful. So much denial and repression and projection. Of course, since it's still her, is it really projection?
Screw deeper truths and higher meanings. All I wanted was to kill this mare that had invaded my dreams. Who had invaded my mind. She wasn’t a part of me. She was unclean, and I would remove her once and for all.
It just keeps going!
I reared up, put my forelegs on her shoulders, and lifted the sword to plunge it into her chest.
Into my chest.
I looked down into a mirror.
Well, not quite a mirror, unless you have a symmetrical face. Unless, I suppose, it is the mirror image of your face, since that's how you'd see it most often, rather than from another's perspective.
Oh, also, Luke, Dagobah, it has only what you take in, all that. Yeah.
I looked down into a mirror. Cybernetic eyes glared up at me as her lips spread wide. “Go on. Do it. This is what you want. This is what you fucking excel at!” She spat at me as I hesitated.
Oh hey, this is the part that Nowacking did the recording of a while back, isn't it?
Turns out I caught it a bit late, about a minute in.
I’d never known what had become of Scoodle’s pink Crusader friend Boing.
“No... no no no no... no...” I muttered as I sank down, looking at her crushed body. I could see it all clearly now, the veil stripped away. The only Seeker was the one I’d chased down here. The mare and stallion were both Glory’s age; they looked like scavengers. They’d been in front of me, and I’d killed them. Had they actually been hostile? I would have if two strangers started shooting where I’d holed up. And I’d killed them just... like... that...
The mare in black was gone, but she was right. I wished I hadn’t known. I put head between my hooves, hugging it. “I killed her... I killed her... I actually killed her...” I murmured softly.
“Yes, you did,” Scotch Tape said softly as she trotted to my side.
“How... I couldn’t... I...” I started to shake. “Sweet Celestia... how... I...”
“It happens. You’d just been attacked. You’re mentally exhausted. Please... please don’t break again,” Scotch Tape pleaded as she held me tight. “We’ve tried... I’ve tried... to help you remember so you can face it...”
“How the hell am I supposed to face it?” I demanded and begged all at once, looking at her in anguish. “How do I ever go back to Chapel? How can I look Charity or any of the other Crusaders in the eyes again?” I was a Reaper. Killer. Monster. I’d always been afraid that when Glory brought me back I’d been wrong; unnatural and dangerous. Now I knew it for a certainty. I wasn’t part of the solution; I was part of the problem.
I just love the way the computer is handling this, and how Blackjack's reacting, and not even thinking for a moment about the way she's forgiven much worse than this from others including P-21 and Rampage at the least.
“Blackjack... I know that you’re a good person at your core. We went through your memories. I know you doubt yourself. I know you hate yourself. But you can be a great person if you give yourself a chance.”
“I killed a filly. Great people don’t do that,” I muttered.
Oh man, it's like the "I know I'm not the best pony" thing, but played straight!
Punishment is not responsibility. If anypony was going to punish me, it would be a little yellow filly in a post office.
Man there are a lot of great lines packed together in this section.
Also, I think P-21 still has an open invitation.
“No. And there aren’t any protectaponies who can get to my node to disconnect me from you. Not in the three seconds we have, assuming they could get there at all.” The olive earth pony stared off into space for a long moment. “There’s only one way... you have to disrupt my node yourself.”
I stared at her with a cold frisson going along my mane. “That sounds insanely similar to ‘you have to kill me’. So I know that’s not what you mean.” She closed her eyes. I jumped to my hooves, my weapons vanishing. “No. Fuck no! What is the fucking deal?! I finally... finally... accept what I did and... and you’re going to... This is crazy! This is some kind of crazy, fucked up, Goldenblood-fucking-with-my-mind simulation! Isn’t it?”
Why is this both so funny and so sad!?
“I’m sorry, Blackjack.” She bowed her head.
“No! Don’t be sorry. Because I’m not going to do it! N. O. Fucking no.” I sat down, sweeping my legs wide before I turned away from her and crossed my forelimbs in front of me.
And now it's petulant Blackjack!
“Blackjack,” she said softly as she trotted in front of me, “I was founded two hundred and four years ago to help mentally hurt and emotionally injured ponies. I have had two hundred and sixty eight patients. Do you know how many I counted as successes?” she asked as she put her hooves on my shoulders. I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. “One. One pony who I think might have a chance at a life and happiness. You. Everypony else died with the world, perished at their own hooves, or simply faded away broken and alone. You’re the first, and the last, patient that Happyhorn Gardens will ever treat. But if you stay here... then in three seconds, that won’t matter.”
There's so much sap! It's everywhere!
“You’re trying to guilt trip me into killing you to save myself,” I said.
Just for a minute, bounce back to funny.
“I’m trying to give you a chance. A chance like you give so many others,” the olive filly said.
“I don’t deserve it,” I whispered.
“I disagree,” she countered. Little hooves held mine. “I’ve seen the measure of your mind and heart. Please... give yourself one too.”
Now sap and angst.
I stared at her. I tried to summon up a gun... sword... knife... a magic bullet. “I.... I can’t...” I stared at her in shock. “I... can’t make a weapon...”
“No. I think we’re both exhausted. The attackers have destroyed so much of the facility that I no longer have the hardware I’d need to support a change in my projected form. I hoped to take the shape of Sanguine... somepony you could kill easily. But I’m stuck like this,” she said. She bit her lip, then closed her eyes. “You know what you have to do...”
WHY CAN'T I STOP SMILING AND LAUGHING THIS IS TOO TERRIBLE FOR THOSE
“What do I...” I stammered, and then backed away. “No. Hell no! You... what... with my...” I thumped the sides of my head. This was a nightmare. A complete nightmare. I had to wake up! Please!
But it wasn’t... and I didn’t.
“Please... do it,” she said in a whisper.
I didn’t trust myself to speak. I tried so hard to summon a weapon. Something to make it quick and clean.
But I had a way. And I knew it would work. I knew because I’d used it before.
I stood before her, looking down at her. “Goodbye, Happyhorn.”
“Goodbye, Blackjack,” she said. And before I could hesitate a moment longer I reared up.
One...
Two...
Thr--
Somber is a sadist.
“Look, I know we both wanted this to go another way, right?” I stood and backed away, putting on my armor and stripping what I could from the bodies. “You didn’t want to get shot...” And they wanted me dead... “So... um... why don’t we make a deal? You don’t tell anypony I cried all over you and I won’t... um... tell anypony you got shot. Deal?”
Blackjack is making a decent return to form. Then again, sobbing for five minutes on someone who just tried to kill her also seems like a return to form.
Well, with any luck, I hadn’t just cursed her with my hug of doom.
HUG OF DOOM! DOOOOOOOM!
“Head southeast of here. On the south side of Black Pony Mountain, there’s a house. It should be safe to catch some sleep there,” he rasped as he tugged his hat down over his eyes.
Right, of course Goldenblood would have a house by the What Mountain?
The large and stately building that had been my home for the last few weeks of a dream had been almost completely demolished. Almost nothing of the roof remained, and one whole end had been collapsed completely. I passed by a plaque; it’d been dinged up pretty badly, but I could still read it even in the early morning darkness.
‘Happyhorn Gardens: May all find peace and healing within’.
I touched it gently and moved away to the southeast. Maybe I had. A little. More than I deserved...
Such a bittersweet ending. Also angst, but that's just sort of everywhere.
- Chapter Forty Three Overall Thoughts:
- This is, at least at the start, one of the most disorienting chapters of the story. When I first read it, I think I checked at two or three different points to make sure that I hadn't somehow missed a chapter. And there I think is one of the benefits of serial publishing for PH: as jarring as it was as I read it, it would be worse, I think, if I just went from one chapter to the next to the next with no gap between. Something similar happens with chapter sixty three, but there's the major distinction that at the end of sixty two there was a big event that looked like a stopping point. The end of forty two just had Blackjack walking away from an unusually bad fight. Now, I don't think I'll ever say that this was a bad thing. I'm confused and lost because the narrator and viewpoint character is confused and lost, if in a slightly different way. Something that works well in the first quarter, perhaps, of the chapter is that if you're just taking it as it comes and don't know that the story keeps going on (again, serial publication), it's not that hard to see how it almost fits together, and I was at times worried that everything would turn out to be the delusions of an overstressed and traumatized security guard during the war. And that's with the knowledge of the end of Black and how much that stuck. That doesn't work as well when you have a book with another thousand pages or a website with links to another twenty chapters. And, of course, that's why the big, paradigm-shifting moments on TV tend to happen during season finales.
But really, the eerie, somewhat uncanny valley vibe from the section before the Dealer appears is great, also contributing by making a threat to Blackjack along an axis that's not really one she's faced quite as much, and thus hasn't demonstrated huge resiliance to (and may be less protected by plot armor). All the while, the fact that everything is washed out and indistinct helps to assure that it isn't real—and yet, there's the nagging feeling that the Wasteland is an escapist fantasy where the limitations of the real world don't apply in the same ways. The incorporation of characters from Blackjack's past and their role assignments was a key part, but I have to wonder why Happyhorn would choose to make Blackjack's doctor Sanguine.
Within this section, we see two important records from the past. The first is one focusing on Rarity and Project Eternity. She comes to the hospital to see Rumble, the seventh subject of the Hightower experiments, who is catatonic with nothing otherwise wrong with either his body or his mind apart from losing his cutie mark. Fluttershy arrives and there's a discussion, the key points of which are first the exchange in which Rarity says that Rumble wasn't important and is admonished, and the second is Fluttershy wishing that the six Ponyville friends could all somehow be together again, which presumably is the genesis of Rarity's idea for the statuettes. The second memory is Garnet visiting Jetstream, who is a patient there due to her inability to percieve reality as opposed to her memories of past action due to too much memory removal and manipulation. Garnet recruits Jetstream to go to Roam with a targetting talisman and activate it in four days' time, presumably to be the opening strike of the megaspell exchange.
Otherwise, one of my personal highlights of this section was Blackjack being reunited with her mother, and her longing for the simulation to be real despite how wrong it felt in so many respects.
The Dealer's appearance marks the turning point of the chapter: Blackjack is assured and admits to herself that the world she sees is a lie, and is given an idea of how to break out. The Dealer also reveals that he was Goldenblood's personal assistant for the latter years of the war, and agreed to bind himself to EC-1101 because of his faith in Goldenblood to work to save the country. He also tells how Goldenblood was acting to preserve Luna's rule against all threats foreign and particularly domestic, seeing especially a threat from the ministry mares who were in a position to depose Luna and negotiate a peace with the zebras.
After this point, we see Blackjack mostly battling her own subconscious and Happyhorn as an ally (in the persons of her friends) rather than an antagonist. Blackjack wants to get out of the mind-interface, but Happyhorn refuses to let her leave until it thinks she's got a chance to curb her self-destructive behavior: just because she believes suicide is wrong doesn't mean she's not trying to get herself killed, after all. So the key thing it needs from her is that she face the event that drove her to the hospital, something she's been hiding from herself because she can't accept it. And so there's a journey through Blackjack's mind, or a world created by it, with major stopping points being Stable 99 and the Seahorse, and a mare in black riot armor with a respirator whom I will call Darth Blackjack as an antagonist. The 99 bit ends with Blackjack accepting that she killed her stable, and apologizing but deciding that she needed to look forward rather than dwell on something she couldn't do anything about. There's an irony to this with the ending, but I'll leave that to later. The Seahorse sees Blackjack acknowledge herself as a victim and weak in the face of her trauma, needing a sacrifice on the part of Happyhorn in able to get past it, and even then partly the need not to waste the sacrifice was what enabled her to move ahead. Throughout this, Blackjack is brought back to a scene with rails and a giant door decorated with four stars, a Four Stars transportation location. She remembers chasing a Seeker there, killing them and some others, but is alway interrupted at some point by some crisis such as an explosion or the interference of Darth Blackjack. Blackjack then leaves in order to deal with something that's easy for her, letting her do something. In the end, Blackjack defeats Darth Blackjack (who uses an SMG and a sniper rifle, two weapons Blackjack rarely uses and the latter of which she is profoundly uncomfortable with for its primary purpose) and, upon removing her visor finds that Darth Blackjack—is her! Shocking, I know, in a world formed by her own subconscious. This leads to the exchange between them that I thought was much better, in which Darth Blackjack acted as the cynical side, pointing out in essence that the Wasteland chews you up and spits you out unless you become her, the Reaper willing to live and die by the sword, callous to the good and evil you do. Blackjack is ultimately unphased, saying that that isn't an option and identifying that Darth Blackjack was trying to protect her from seeing what had happened. Leaving, we find that it is that after killing the Seeker she also killed two hostile civilians who probably weren't really a threat and only reacting to how she barged in and started shooing in the place they were hanging out and then proceeded to kill Boing, one of Scoodle's Crusader friends, after she appealed to Blackjack by name (not "Security") to stop.
She has a hard time handling this, and it's up to Happyhorn to help her cope. Spike's speach is of course reiterated, and Happyhorn tries to assure Blackjack that it was a mistake and that she's a good person, and in fact can be a great person. Now, this is where I absolutely love the chapter yet can't help feel perhaps in the wrong way. Yes, through all this I'm feeling sadness and sympathy, but I'm also positively beaming and often laughing because I just love the dynamic of someone being utterly serious and telling Blackjack that yes, she is a good pony, and Blackjack just thinking and feeling the opposite. Added to that is the overdose of pathos where Blackjack, having come to terms—kind of—with killing Boing needs to get out of the simulation. But she can't because of Harbingers destroyed the physical hardware needed to break the connection from the outside. So Blackjack needs to do it from within the simulation. Which means killing Happyhorn's avatar. But wait! The avatar is Scotch Tape. And there's more! It's stuck that way. Also, Blackjack is too exhausted mentally to make any weapons or TK bullets, so she has to kill Scotch Tape with her bare hooves. So on the one hand, I am really feeling the sadness, but on the other, I can't stop laughing because of just how much is being dumped on and I started because Blackjack was being petulant and sarcastic about things and I just love everything about that scene.
So Blackjack's out and has to deal with some Harbingers, takes out some and just cries for five minutes while holding another, then Nails from the Seahorse comes by, recognizes her, she doesn't recognize him, he apologizes, and he directs the other Harbingers to the north. Blackjack talks with the Dealer, and is off to Goldenblood's house near Black Pony Mountain with the understanding she needs to sleep and that she has a major problem that she'll ultimately need her friends' help to push through. But before that there's Hightower.
I swear, I just can't talk rationally about this chapter. I just like it too much. The unsettling start, the emotions and realizations it brings in, the mind journey, the confrontation with Darth Blackjack and the dynamic with the Happyhorn avatars, I just eat it up. Pretty much everything hits, and often hits big. And all that from a chapter where a significant portion is basically recap.
- Chapter Forty Three Editing:
- The first few paragraphs, before the ~~~ divider, are justified instead of left aligned.
Frozen eyes staring down at me from the ceiling.
"stared"?
and I pulled them free. I rubbed forelegs
only one space after period
Not as neat as I’d hoped, but it was better than being spoonfed.
I think "spoonfed" is hyphenated
“Ooooh, we’re in for a light sh-”
second hyphen for dash
Behind him was the blue pegasus, Jetstream, and the yellow earth pony buck, Echo.
"was" to "were"
“We’ve modified, restored and removed her memories too much already, Echo.
comma after "restored"
Where are you? Applesnack, cover
only one space after question mark
his hoof on a tape recorder. He pushed a button,
only one space after period
I’ll give him his perks, he was a handsome stallion.
"props"?
Since you’ve arrived here, you’ve proven to be the most hostile patient in Happyhorn Gardens’ history.
"Gardens's"? Thinking parallel to "Roses's"
staring up at those painted pegasi fillies on the ceiling of my room
"pegasus"
from around her neck. But I couldn’t let her go.
three spaces after period
The other attendants gave her rapt attention; neither talking nor making disturbances during the hour long show.
semicolon to comma?
carefully unbuckled them. When they were
only one space after period
There were others talking, laughing, enjoying the roses in bloom or taking in the music on the stage.
comma after "roses"?
I cut a pegasus’ wing off… cut it off!
"pegasus's"
Maybe you’re right. Maybe she wouldn’t
only one space after period
“Its mixing what it knows with what’s in your head.
"It's"
you knew too well…like your
should have space after ellipsis
I hadn’t seen them well. It had
only one space after period
They had all kinds of dry-sounding titles like ‘The Physiology of the Mind’ and ‘A Brief Reflection on Unicorn Psychology.’
period to outside of quotation marks
appears inevitable that they will fully occupy the facility in-“
second hyphen for dash
All killed by me. Shot, cut, and
only one space after period
“This is what you are, Blackjack: screaming, bloody, meat,”
should the comma after "bloody" not be there?
My stable, my home. This is how it
three spaces after period
the hiss of water on rusted metal. We moved from
only one space after period
and on to the HMS Luna. I really couldn’t tell the difference
"HMS" should also be italicized
be raped. Or... Fuck!” I
should have second space after ellipsis
“I’m sorry Blackjack,” Scotch Tape
comma after "sorry"
smell the sweet sticky reek. I knew I couldn’t
onlly one space after period
They lifted and twisted as if fighting to escape the water, but one by one they turned over, splintered, crashed and bent before disappearing back beneath the flow.
comma after "crashed"
“Almost where?” I sniffed into her mane. “What is the
If "I sniffed" isn't considered a speech tag, should have second space after the quotation. Only one space after period.
‘Four Stars Transportation - Keep Out’
second hyphen for dash?
Suddenly she was laying on her back and had all
"lying"
Our horns glowed we slashed and parried and stabbed and blocked while spinning and swinging around wildly.
"glowed as we"?
I deserved to die. It was appropriate
only one space after period
I looked at him; the ghost in my PipBuck.
semicolon to comma?
had been collapsed completely. I passed by a plaque
three spaces after period
Hope for next week: having the time to keep up with the forum in real time!
Icy Shake- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by neoaustin Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:28 am
shame it wasn't a bobble head. it sounds like you could use the +1 luck from getting them all.Somber wrote:Also, got a Rarity Beanie baby while I was at the pharmacy. Saw it and just went "Mine!" so now I have some fabluosity in my life.
best of luck to you Somber.
neoaustin- Colt/Filly
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by neoaustin Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:46 am
btw Project Horizons needs a radio play. who agrees?
neoaustin- Colt/Filly
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Mon Apr 14, 2014 7:49 am
Yes. I cannot convey in those three letters how much yes.neoaustin wrote:btw Project Horizons needs a radio play. who agrees?
Similarly, I could die happy if Scorch Mechanic did an audiobook version.
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