Re: [Official!] Project Horizons Comment Crew Chat thread.

[Frost]

I wish a very adequate day of your birth upon you, sir

[Kippershy]

Haha, thanks guys. Interesting way of putting it, Frost.

[Frost]

By the way, what's your new avatar?

[O. Hinds]

Happy orbit completion day, Kippershy!

[Kippershy]

Oh god, that's the best one I've ever heard, Hinds. Thanks.

Frost, it's Scootaloo. Full picture:



I have a much higher resolution image if anyone wants it, but the image is huge and goes off the page massively.

[Kippershy]

Absolutely n-

Wait, no. I have one! To be a better writer by the end of the year..
To have gotten close to the end of Broken Bonds by the end of the year and also to be good enough that I manage to get a more vocal fanbase - though that last one is me being selfish and stupid. I just wish I had the skill and attention of some other writers.

[Kippershy]

In other words, my wish is to have a reason to have any self worth. hah.

[Kippershy]

...Yeah, pretty much.
In all other aspects of my life, I see myself as a robot / machine / tool (literally, not the insult but literally a tool.)

I'm strong and tall because it allows me to be more efficient at physically demanding jobs.
I'm tough and enduring because I'm required to be. I need to be capable of doing my job despite all ailments I may have at any time.
I'm kind and supportive to my friends (despite also being a jackass) because I see myself as Atlas, he whom must shoulder the weight of others so they can succeed.

I do what I can to make sure everything around me runs smoothly. Not for my own benefit, but because it's the role I'm supposed to play.

Writing is the one thing where I don't have that mindset. I want to be a great writer so people will appreciate something I do.
This is the one thing I want to be able to complete, look back on and say "I did that, that's my work and people enjoy that."


Everything else in my life is quite frankly, empty.
I live alone and although I had wanted to since the age of 15, I never expected I would have been moving out (kicked out) at 17 from the family home and then kicked out by my brothers (now) wife at 19.
I'm 22 now...

22 and I live alone. The peace and quiet is nice, the ability to do stuff as I see fit when I see fit is lovely.
But here's the catch.

When you achieve your dreams, what can you do after?
Life isn't a book where once the task at hand is done you finish on a happy ever after, you continue to live and work for what you want - but what happens when you've already got what you wanted and it turns out it feels not a lot different from what you had?

So yeah, this is going waaaaaaaaaaaaay off topic but it's the only way to express my mindset which explains my self worth issues in a small way, I hope.

My self worth is low because I see myself as just a tool to make others succeed because I know I can't because there's nothing to succeed to. No goals or desires bar that one.



I'm making no sense to anyone, I know. I'm sure of that at this point, but to me it's all in perfect clarity and related.

[Kippershy]

I know, though that's the thing. You're talking to the guy who tried to top himself twice at fourteen, once at fifteen, two times at sixteen, once at seventeen and then two times at twenty/twenty one. (I forget when.)

Even when I was a child my psychiatrist took note of my low self worth and thus by extension, nearly non existent self esteem.


I'm an attention whore yet a hermit. I have so many things wrong with me and it's why my writing means so much to me and why I rely on it so heavily for my well-being.

I know I'm not healthy in acting, feeling and thinking this way, but it's who I am and no amount of therapy or self help techniques will ever be able to change that.
Instead, I just gotta hope that the few things I do manage to clutch close to my chest manage to stay with me, because most things don't.

[Ironmonger]

@Kipper
@Swicked
Philosopher mode activate.

[Kippershy]

This is what happens if I begin to think.
My mind has so much stuffed inside it all screaming to get out that the moment I even begin to unzip it and release the lid, it slams against the opening with the power of a typhoon and everything crashes out at once but in a way that only confuses itself.

[Kippershy]

Which is exactly what I'm doing... not trying to improve, I mean.
I have no means of transportation other than my own two legs.
I have no education higher then secondary school and some college classes that I never much cared for in subjects that will never assist me.
I have nowhere near enough money to make any significant impact on my lifestyle.
I have no chance at being promoted in my current job.
I have no chance at getting any other jobs because of transport.
My love life has become nothing and right now, I couldn't care for one any less than I currently do anyway.
I've stopped dreaming about travelling because I've grown up and seen where those dreams take me - nowhere.

My life is at a standstill at the young age of 22.
I have no options. No paths to go forward with.
When I was young I wanted a family because I felt I never truly had one.
Now I don't want a family because I've never felt I truly had one.
Now I don't want a family because I know I could never be what they'd deserve.
Now I don't want transport because I'd never use it. I have nowhere to go.


Writing is the one thing I have. Writing is the one thing I can hope to improve myself on. Even then, I don't think I'll ever be a good writer. I make countless mistakes despite trying so hard and I lack the ability to be concise with my ideas.

My life is at a standstill and I never fought for it because there was never any fight to have. There was never any way to improve.



All of this was said without sorrow or self pity, but instead, acceptance.
It's who I am, not what I've become. I was always this way.
You might argue that I'm contradicting myself because I used to have dreams, but even in those dreams I had doubts and counter arguments for everything.

The only thing that has changed is I used to have self pity.



That's why I try my best never to think about any of this.
That's why I try my best never to bring it up.
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'm actually saying I feel a little guilty because in the past people have tried so hard for so long to try make me see things their way, to try fix me.
It can't be done and it will only annoy whoever invests effort into it.
It cannot be done.

[O. Hinds]

Any opinions on

this:

as a world map? Just something that I knocked together.

[Kippershy]

1. location places *which are marked* would be nice, would allow me to truly appreciate it.

2. All is well other than that, I think. Still, locations to be marked somehow would help me decide.

[O. Hinds]

1. location places *which are marked* would be nice, would allow me to truly appreciate it.

2. All is well other than that, I think. Still, locations to be marked somehow would help me decide.

Oh, you don't think that the amount of undefined-controller land is a problem? And the tectonics look fine to you?
Also, what do you mean by marked locations?

[Kippershy]

I'm a retard, I need something I can focus on to understand what I'm looking at before I can make a truly informed judgement.
Right now to me it just looks like a lot of "green, more green.. some green and green."

Which in itself isn't a problem, though understanding what everything is meant to be is a problem for me.

So yeah. Basics of it are decent enough, though without some kind of relevance points for me to focus on I can't make much more out of it than that.

[O. Hinds]

I'm a retard, I need something I can focus on to understand what I'm looking at before I can make a truly informed judgement.
Right now to me it just looks like a lot of "green, more green.. some green and green."

Which in itself isn't a problem, though understanding what everything is meant to be is a problem for me.

So yeah. Basics of it are decent enough, though without some kind of relevance points for me to focus on I can't make much more out of it than that.

You mean beyond Equestria and the Pax Roamana in the center of the map? What sort of thing(s) would you like?

[Kippershy]

I'm a retard, I need something I can focus on to understand what I'm looking at before I can make a truly informed judgement.
Right now to me it just looks like a lot of "green, more green.. some green and green."

Which in itself isn't a problem, though understanding what everything is meant to be is a problem for me.

So yeah. Basics of it are decent enough, though without some kind of relevance points for me to focus on I can't make much more out of it than that.

You mean beyond Equestria and the Pax Roamana in the center of the map? What sort of thing(s) would you like?

Having Equestria and all the other countries you intend for it to have would be the biggest start you could make. It would allow me to really understand what every landmass is meant to be.
As for other places, any super important places of particular note (Canterlot, MAYBE FillyD) listed would also help with the immersion, like how real world maps always have the capital city listed for reference.

You wouldn't need to go into detail with it, but just to have country names and capital cities would make it feel much more like a real map and give me a much better ability to understand what I'm seeing.

The CEO of my company started off as a lineworker with
no prior qualifications. My spouse's grandfather started out as an
electrition and now owns office complexes. These are extreme examples,
but there are plenty of stories of people that started off unskilled and
made it up to highly skilled work given enough time. Keep reading and
speaking to people about their occupations. Try signing up with a temp
agency. Keep trying to find something. College only helps you start
higher up. Experience can make up for the lack of it.
As for the rest... it's just your choice. It's all your choice and entirely subjective.
I
wonder, if you were to meet someone in your exact same position, would
you judge them as harshly? Is this a standard for a worthwhile life that
you're applying? Or is it only on you?

And as good examples of what can become, there isn't even a single drop of doubt in my mind that those people had a lot more drive and potential. In terms of raw intelligence, I'd like to believe that I would be capable, though it would be a hell of a lot of work and I would no doubt need some help. Still, I have the capacity, I think.

Where my issues come in are I have no drive to do that. Lack of worth/esteem make it so that if I were to even consider such an idea, I would shoot myself down before I've even put a single plan to the drawing board. Again, not because I don't think I have the intelligence to do it but because that's not who I am.
I'm the supporting role and I only take up roles of leadership when that's what being the supporting role means, when those around me need it to be.
The amount of effort it would take to successfully get myself anywhere is beyond what I could muster because again, I have so many mental blockades that I simply can't even begin to do that kind've stuff. Even if it wasn't for laziness that drags me deep down into an abyss it would be anxiety issues that simply stop me from doing what I'd need to.

Temp work wouldn't suit my schedule at all because my current job requires me to be fully flexible with 39 hours per week of actual work time (not including 5 hours lunch, making 44 hours a week spent in the workplace) and that's before travel to/from work which is 20 minutes walk each way.


If I was to meet someone in my exact same position I wouldn't hold the slightest bit of judgement against them. As long as they're doing what they need to to survive while not (intentionally) hurting any others* than who am I to judge? I've already proven myself incapable of any better so why should I look down upon someone else for their lack of desire or ability to do better?


*(When I say this, I don't mean things like buying Apple products despite their working conditions or simply throwing a few insults as banter to friends. I mean burglary, assault, all the stuff that's immoral and actually does hurt someone. A little name calling (within reason) isn't the end of the world and nor is stealing a phone, but it's still a whole different level and not one I appreciate in the slightest.)

[Ironmonger]

What Kipper said. I get what it is, but it's just a blank slate.

[O. Hinds]

I'm a retard, I need something I can focus on to understand what I'm looking at before I can make a truly informed judgement.
Right now to me it just looks like a lot of "green, more green.. some green and green."

Which in itself isn't a problem, though understanding what everything is meant to be is a problem for me.

So yeah. Basics of it are decent enough, though without some kind of relevance points for me to focus on I can't make much more out of it than that.

You mean beyond Equestria and the Pax Roamana in the center of the map? What sort of thing(s) would you like?

Having Equestria and all the other countries you intend for it to have would be the biggest start you could make. It would allow me to really understand what every landmass is meant to be.
As for other places, any super important places of particular note (Canterlot, MAYBE FillyD) listed would also help with the immersion, like how real world maps always have the capital city listed for reference.

You wouldn't need to go into detail with it, but just to have country names and capital cities would make it feel much more like a real map and give me a much better ability to understand what I'm seeing.

What Kipper said. I get what it is, but it's just a blank slate.

Oh, wait, was I overestimating the familiarity of the forum with my other maps? One moment.

[Kippershy]

I'm a retard, I need something I can focus on to understand what I'm looking at before I can make a truly informed judgement.
Right now to me it just looks like a lot of "green, more green.. some green and green."

Which in itself isn't a problem, though understanding what everything is meant to be is a problem for me.

So yeah. Basics of it are decent enough, though without some kind of relevance points for me to focus on I can't make much more out of it than that.

You mean beyond Equestria and the Pax Roamana in the center of the map? What sort of thing(s) would you like?

Having Equestria and all the other countries you intend for it to have would be the biggest start you could make. It would allow me to really understand what every landmass is meant to be.
As for other places, any super important places of particular note (Canterlot, MAYBE FillyD) listed would also help with the immersion, like how real world maps always have the capital city listed for reference.

You wouldn't need to go into detail with it, but just to have country names and capital cities would make it feel much more like a real map and give me a much better ability to understand what I'm seeing.

What Kipper said. I get what it is, but it's just a blank slate.

Oh, wait, was I overestimating the familiarity of the forum with my other maps? One moment.

Yup. I've seen the map in your sig a few times but apart from that I generally pass over your in-depth discussions on these sorts of things not out of disrespect but because they usually go above my knowledge or skill in the subjects and I feel I'd be fighting a losing battle.


Also, Swicked - got your response up on the last page now.

[O. Hinds]

Rough World Map:

Basic Layers of the Larger Area Map Alpha:

There you go. A link to the latest release version of the map of Equestria may be found in my signature.

Also, no one's replied on the plate tectonics issue yet. Does that mean that they look fine or that you don't consider yourselves qualified to evaluate them?

[Ironmonger]

Rough World Map:

Basic Layers of the Larger Area Map Alpha:

There you go. A link to the latest release version of the map of Equestria may be found in my signature.

Also, no one's replied on the plate tectonics issue yet. Does that mean that they look fine or that you don't consider yourselves qualified to evaluate them?

I'm fairly well-versed in geography and somewhat in geology, but when you start getting into the fancy stuff like that, it goes over my head.

Maybe that's the redneck in me coming out. :P

[Sindri]

Afraid plate tectonics is one of the subjects I haven't dipped into much. I don't see any problems with what I see here, but I still feel like I'm missing most of the context... even on the detail map I don't recognize anything other than Roam, so I can't really connect what's on the screen to what's in my head.

[Kippershy]

I can easily tell you this:

I am nowhere near qualified to speak of geographic topics.
If you ask me where a specific country is on a map, I can give you at the very least a vague estimate up to an exact location for many, many countries.
However, anything more detailed than that (besides how things like earthquakes, typhoons, volcanoes and such happen) is not something I'm capable of.

I never paid attention in geography and even handed in history based work to piss the geography teacher off when she told us we could hand in "anything related to any country we choose."
(I handed in specifications of Japanese WW2 era war-planes and where they were generally produced.)


Map looks good. I'm surprised Equestria is such a small landmass though. I mean, it makes good for all the stories that are in the Fallout Equestria world but seeing as 98% of those are set in Equestria and not some other country, that laves a lot of landmass to other countries that are so unknown.

I know I know you might have your own ideas and by no means does any other thing have to be canonical to your map - I'm just thinking in terms of if you are trying to make it feel like that is all.

[O. Hinds]

Afraid plate tectonics is one of the subjects I haven't dipped into much. I don't see any problems with what I see here, but I still feel like I'm missing most of the context... even on the detail map I don't recognize anything other than Roam, so I can't really connect what's on the screen to what's in my head.

Ah, thanks.

I can easily tell you this:

I am nowhere near qualified to speak of geographic topics.
If you ask me where a specific country is on a map, I can give you at the very least a vague estimate up to an exact location for many, many countries.
However, anything more detailed than that (besides how things like earthquakes, typhoons, volcanoes and such happen) is not something I'm capable of.

I never paid attention in geography and even handed in history based work to piss the geography teacher off when she told us we could hand in "anything related to any country we choose."
(I handed in specifications of Japanese WW2 era war-planes and where they were generally produced.)


Map looks good. I'm surprised Equestria is such a small landmass though. I mean, it makes good for all the stories that are in the Fallout Equestria world but seeing as 98% of those are set in Equestria and not some other country, that laves a lot of landmass to other countries that are so unknown.

I know I know you might have your own ideas and by no means does any other thing have to be canonical to your map - I'm just thinking in terms of if you are trying to make it feel like that is all.

Equestria just sort of ended up that size as things progressed. What I'm more worried about is the amount of space that isn't included in either Equestria or the Pax Roamana. It isn't quite as much as the projection makes it look like (I've been able to use Carrara 6 to wrap the projection onto a proper globe), but I'm still not sure what all that extra land is. And that isn't helped by the possibility of extra or missing areas of land caused by faulty geology simulation.

[Ironmonger]

Yo, Hinds, I got a small few countries that might help fill in the blanks, or at least make the 'errors' a little less useless. My writing team and I so far have come up with the Imperium of Germaneigh (Imperium being a pending title), Prance, and the Trottomane Empire. One of our, or at least my, goals is to expand on the FoE world.

I'm just throwing some stuff out there, use it if you want to, or don't.

[Sindri]

Oh hey, just realized that in three more posts I ascend.

[O. Hinds]

Yo, Hinds, I got a small few countries that might help fill in the blanks, or at least make the 'errors' a little less useless. My writing team and I so far have come up with the Imperium of Germaneigh (Imperium being a pending title), Prance, and the Trottomane Empire. One of our, or at least my, goals is to expand on the FoE world.

I'm just throwing some stuff out there, use it if you want to, or don't.

Well, I've got Prance as a region of Equestria. Maybe the others... I'm not sure, though; they sound like pony countries.

[O. Hinds]

Prance is a nice name and all, but I've long prefered "Fancy", the nation of French-speaking mathematicians.

I'm using both. :) Prance isn't actually indicated on any of my maps, but I've recursive-headcanoned it as the region around the city of Fancee (the bounds of a pre-full-unification city-state, perhaps?).

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