Sister forum[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Sun Aug 17, 2014 2:58 pm
And that's about as likely as Blackjack having a happy ending
Although depending on who you ask, she's already had MANY 'happy endings' lately
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Silver136 Sun Aug 17, 2014 3:34 pm
I understand that, but I feel like now thatBJ knows she's "immune" and sort of strengthened by taint, she's gonna be exposed to it more, so I kinda feel like she's going to somehow overtaint her new body.SilentCarto wrote:The amount of Flux in a Silver Bullet is smaller than the bottle she already drank.Silver136 wrote:I feel like Blackjack is going to lose her blank body as well of she gets Folly back. It taints the user with every shot, and blanks exposed to too much taint become huge. I think the story may come full circle (like when BJ first got Folly and was warned about its taint effect, but was still forced to use it to save people), and have Blackjack either die or become a cyborg again.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:02 pm
Blackjack becomes a Fattie?
Poor BJ XD
Poor BJ XD
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Aug 17, 2014 9:36 pm
Silver136 wrote:I understand that, but I feel like now thatBJ knows she's "immune" and sort of strengthened by taint, she's gonna be exposed to it more, so I kinda feel like she's going to somehow overtaint her new body.SilentCarto wrote:The amount of Flux in a Silver Bullet is smaller than the bottle she already drank.Silver136 wrote:I feel like Blackjack is going to lose her blank body as well of she gets Folly back. It taints the user with every shot, and blanks exposed to too much taint become huge. I think the story may come full circle (like when BJ first got Folly and was warned about its taint effect, but was still forced to use it to save people), and have Blackjack either die or become a cyborg again.
I'd question if there were even enough bullets left for Folly to cause that. It was a prototype weapon and the bullets were specially made for it.
Though it's clear that flux gives her some sort of boost. Almost like mintals. If BJ was going to turn into a fattie I'd imagine it would come from abusing flux directly, not from firing folly.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:07 pm
Speaking of Folly didn't BJ need EC1101 (I don't remember where the dash went) to fire it? BJ getting that back from Cognitum before defeating her is pretty unlikely.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:07 pm
Nope. Here was the firing sequence:Last wrote:Speaking of Folly didn't BJ need EC1101 (I don't remember where the dash went) to fire it? BJ getting that back from Cognitum before defeating her is pretty unlikely.
>PipBuck synchronization: complete.
>Blood pattern analysis: confirmed.
>Magical field analysis: confirmed.
>Authorization confirmed.
>Warning! BBP loaded. BGP armed.
>Do you wish to fire? Y/N?
In retrospect, it was obviously noting that she was a Ministry Mare to authorize the firing. The magical field analysis was presumably to avoid someone tricking it by smearing the gun with fresh blood.
Last edited by SilentCarto on Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Guest Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:17 pm
Oh, I think the Y/N is what threw me. For some reason I relate that to EC1101. Thanks for clearing it up for me Silent.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:23 am
Wow, between a bunch of things, including admittedly at two new chapters, it's been a while since I've been able to go back and read a new one. Let's see . . . seven weeks! Well, glad things have settled down enough to get back to a bit of normality. Got to "A Good Day," which of course helped make mine one, too.
Oh, and O. Hinds, I found out what went wrong last time with all the false positives for italicization: Nallar's HTML pulls in some, maybe most, italics, but not all of them. That's the first time I've seen it have that sort of problem, barring of course recent edits.
Oh, and O. Hinds, I found out what went wrong last time with all the false positives for italicization: Nallar's HTML pulls in some, maybe most, italics, but not all of them. That's the first time I've seen it have that sort of problem, barring of course recent edits.
- Chapter Fifty One Running Thoughts:
- So, any chance Blackjack's "good day" involved iced tea?
I slowly turned my eyes to Scotch Tape, who was focusing intently on her cup of steaming weed water, and finished my pan by staring at P-21 as he poured another cup and offered it to me, meeting my gaze.
Okay, so we have hot tea.
“Um… sorry. I have brain damage. Say again?”
"Hi, I'm Blackjack, and I have brain damage. Pleased to meet you."
Still, if she wanted anonymity, I’d try and play along; if Glory was going to undermine her relationships, who was I to stop her?
Yeah, that kind of happens a lot around here.
For some reason, I could taste blood, and my head was really hurting. Wasn’t the healing talisman supposed to take care of that?
Thing to bear in mind is, this could either be the result of stress, anxiety, suspicion, or it could be a sign that all of those are appropriate reactions to her.
Coming from anypony else, that line would have been pompous, even sanctimonious, but the pegasus practically glowed with sincerity.
It's also possible she was giving off a very low-level physical glow.
I wanted to throw up, but my brain didn’t seem to realize my stomach couldn’t, so all I was left with was a crippling nausea.
well, it can clearly throw up in some cases. Maybe it's controlled by internal sensors, though, and won't unless the cause is actually in the stomach and would be affected by vomiting.
Project Steelpony. Had the zebras stolen it? Had Goldenblood actually given it to them? Or had the zebras developed their own line of augmentation research? For all I knew, Steelpony had been stolen from the enemy in the first place.
This was a pretty good plot line. I'm a little surprised Blackjack thought Goldenblood might have leaked it, though, given how much he tried to stop the leak of megaspell tech.
“I know. And I should. I want to. But when I opened to door, I didn’t think of how much I missed her or that I could finally get answers to questions I’ve had for years. I… I wanted to know why she was here. It felt… contrived. My mother coming out of the Wasteland after all this time looking for me?”
Lampshade . . . hung? Maybe?
“Maybe,” Glory murmured as she glanced at the door and then back at me. “But really… the more I think about it, the harder it is for me to believe she’s here looking for me at all.”
Perceptive.
“Right,” he said, his blue eyes turning to Glory. “For what it’s worth, I don’t trust her.” Was it because she was a mare?
Don't think so. He's been willing to give mares a chance, or at least be less open about it. It's probably that it's contrived creepytown.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a casual grin. “I’m Cheddar. I just got here.” There was a little pain in his eyes, but there was nothing new. We all had sad eyes. “Your name is… Calm? Palm? Buzz Bomb?”
I remember liking this dream a lot, thinking it held up well as an entirely independent (within FoE, of course) short story. I wonder how it'll hold up.
Sure, we had to go to the tired adults who actually cooked the food and took care of the adoptions from time to time, but even they were happy for our help. And a dream began to settle in; a dream where we’d eventually become adults ourselves. And we’d leave together when we were sure the orphanage was in good hooves. And he’d travel all around the world deciphering important things, and I’d see a world I could never imagine. A world where gray did not exist.Sure, we had to go to the tired adults who actually cooked the food and took care of the adoptions from time to time, but even they were happy for our help. And a dream began to settle in; a dream where we’d eventually become adults ourselves. And we’d leave together when we were sure the orphanage was in good hooves. And he’d travel all around the world deciphering important things, and I’d see a world I could never imagine. A world where gray did not exist.
That's both really cute and pretty sad.
“I’m not worth you giving up a future where you could be somepony! Everypony here dreams of finding a family again. Everypony. You lost yours. I never had mine. And there’s twenty other colts and fillies who could only dream of having the chance that you’re throwing away! It’s stupid, and you’re stupid for doing it!”
He stared at me in shock. “But, Psalm, I-- You…” A hurt look rose in his eyes and he asked in a voice I could barely hear over the rain, “Would you go and leave me if she offered it to you?”
I couldn’t look at him as I spat out the lie, “In a heartbeat.”
It's a painful moment, and I have to wonder how it feels on Cheddar's side, even given it seems like there are probably hints she's lying to drive him away, so he'll make the right decision.
“You… you don’t have to…” I whispered, horrified that I’d be such a bother to her. “I’m not worth the trouble.”
“It’s ponies who think they aren’t who are. I know what it’s like to feel worthless and unloved,” [Princess Luna] said as she lifted me with her magic and flew me down to the front gate of the orphanage. “Please, be patient. Have faith. I’ll try and help you soon.”
I think it's very sad she felt this way, but then, maybe she needed to push herself a little bit further in that direction to support making the break with Cheddar.
For a short while, I’d hoped something might happen. That a chariot would come and sweep me off to Canterlot.
Through about the second half of the second sentence, I thought she might be talking about hoping for an accident that would kill her. Glad that wasn't the case.
They were the single light in the blackness that threatened to consume me.
Aaaannd . . . cutie mark. Probably.
And when I came back, the first thing I did was lash out at everypony around me, because I was still angry at them… but also, I was scared. It took me a year before I was brave enough to make a public appearance, and it took a brave mare to help teach me to be happy around others. I know there are times when being around others positively hurts, but that’s better than being alone.
Nice way of incorporating the way Luna just disappeared the first season, and very start of the second.
Time to gather my belongings in the black wool blanket, though there weren’t very many.
Bringing back the blanket Luna gave her on their first meeting is a nice touch.
Together we stepped out the front door. It was one of those rare moments when the rain had stopped and everything was clean and crisp. A rainbow gleamed in the direction of Canterlot and made the golden chariot sparkle with light. It was almost as bright as the candle which appeared on my flank, its lone light the faith against the melancholy that had almost consumed me.
Guess I jumped the gun on that. But not by much.
Well, I do think that dream held up. I'm not even sure it would need to be particularly tied to FoE, though.
“Aren’t I breaking the rules, though? I thought that unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that corresponds to their talent. But I can do magic bullets and light, and now I’m poking into memory magic.”
Well, you see . . . look over there! More seriously, of course, that notion was something that even the show seemed to kill off over time.
Rarity exhibited designer skills but also knew a spell to find gems, as well as teleportation later in life.
Now of course this is only my personal interpretation, but I've long looked at it from the alternative perspective that Rarity's talent is gems, but she applies it to her passion of fashion design.
There was a tiny, immature… okay, maybe not so tiny… part of me that liked the idea of being the descendant of the love child of Rarity and Vanity.
Well, hey, they're both pretty great too. And if that were the case then she'd potentially be whatever kind of royalty he was (possibly assuming no brothers between him and Blueblood, and of course that being the legitimate child isn't required in their inheritance system). Not that I expect Blackjack would care about that sort of thing.
Glory is downstairs. She purchased some… ingredients… from Charity. Now I fear that she’s experimenting in the kitchen. She really should leave the cooking to P-21. He has quite a hoof for it.
Yes! I love Glory's cooking.
“But what about you, Lacunae?” I asked with a small frown. “Are you happy?”
“Please, don’t ask me that, Blackjack. If you are happy, I am happy. It is the closest to happiness I can come,” she said in that resigned voice, but there was something more.
We never got to see too much of Psalm between her adoption and her involvement with the war, but it's hard to imagine otherwise than that her experiences as a soldier and assassin, as well as time in Unity, caused her to become more like the lonely, frightened child that she was at the orphanage than she likely was between her adoption and enlistment (and even perhaps through Shattered Hoof Ridge).
“Please, Blackjack. It’s nothing. It may not even matter anymore. You’re doing so much better now. Please, don’t ask,” she begged, and I backed off. I heard a mental sigh of relief. “Thank you, Blackjack,” she said, and then one last thing leaked through, “and I’m sorry.”
Guilt? What was she guilty about? Lacunae had always been supportive and helpful. She’d been a good friend, and I was thankful that the Goddess had never made her do anything that required me to treat her as anything other than a friend. Ah, the Goddess. That must be it. She felt guilty because of the control the Goddess had over me!
It's striking how little Blackjack ever imagines her friends might harm her, and of course, how quickly she forgives, but in this case I do think that the effect of tying her in to Unity was probably an accident. That, or actually done/compelled by the Goddess, not Lacunae.
Boo sat nearby, her head tilted as if trying to process just what was being created in the cast iron pan.
I like to think that it's something beyond even Discord's imagination, and that makes this so much the better.
Finally I gulped it all down and looked at the worried pegasus. I paused to consider how best to put this to her. “Well Glory, I don’t know how to say this. You tried for perfection…” I said gravely, then grinned. “And you nailed it!”
I think it would be hilarious if (clone) Blackjack ran across one that was leftover at Star House and tried to eat it, still loving the taste but the cake wreaking havoc on her insides.
“I wonder if I can light these on fire?” I mused as I turned it over. “Incendiary cakes of death!” I chortled. Boo simply snorted in dismissal of Glory’s wonderful invention and started nosing around the cupboards.
Yeah, Discord's just envious.
I tried to maintain my dignity as I looked at her and she back at me.
Hard to maintain what you've never had much of.
“I said fine. You’re right. I should know a little more before poking around inside her for more memories,” I said with a simple little shrug of my shoulders. Boo pulled out a Fancy Buck snack cake and started ripping open the wax paper wrapper.
Glory frowned at me. “Who are you, and what did you do with Blackjack?”
I tried to maintain my dignity as I looked at her and she back at me. Our relationship was tense, but we both wanted it to work. I didn’t want to live in a world without Glory. And in her eyes I saw endless worry, barely kept in check, that she'd she'd end up living in a world without Blackjack. “You’re not afraid I’ll get in trouble, going out without you?”
She frowned a moment, as if thinking about that. Then she bowed her head. “I know that I put a collar on you, Blackjack, but I can’t keep you within wing’s length all the time. So I am worried... but I also have to trust you, Blackjack, to stay out of real trouble. Okay?”
There's kind of a weird transition here, since the question was just about Blackjack's response regarding memory magic and Rampage, but then Blackjack starts talking about going out and about. What's with the sudden, non-sequitur subject change?
What? I sat up immediately and read that line once more to make sure that my brain damage wasn’t acting up, then read further.
Dear Princess Luna, it is with great regret a heavy heart that I must tender my resignation and step down as Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Arcane Sciences. Your command decision to execute Goldenblood without trial is a crime insult sad injustice unprecedented in pony history. I am pleased proud of the work that has been committed accomplished by my ministry and everypony working under me and am confident they will be able to serve Equestria admirably, but I cannot remain a part, in good conscience, be a part of this government any longer. I will inform my friends of this decision and hope that your reign is a good ethical better prosperous.
There were other paragraphs saying similar things beneath it, with lines edited or crossed out entirely. Other rough drafts were to Fluttershy and Applejack, telling both that she could not be a part of the Ministries any longer and suggesting neither of them should be either. There was a scratched-out section practically begging Fluttershy to talk to Pinkie Pie about stepping down from Ministry of Morale and asking Applejack to try and get Rarity away from Image.
Wow, just how small does Twilight write for all that to fit on one piece of paper?
I clenched my eyes closed. Damn it, I hadn’t been able to open the stupid Tenpony door! And now, more than ever, I had the overwhelming sense that I should have been able to open it!
Something was off, and for the first time, I couldn’t stop myself from seriously wondering if there was some terrible truth behind the Goddess’s snide accusations. Maybe there was something my friends were keeping from me after all...
"Yer a Sparkle, Beejay."
I had to bully Triage a little bit with suggestions about ‘learning as I went’ and experimentation... each one seeming to have the effect of giving the mare a migraine. I guessed I would have had the same reaction if somepony told me they were going to try to clear a jammed gun by bashing it with a rock.
I just imagined Charm bashing an IF-88 with a rock while Blackjack watches, helpless to stop her.
“I actually found her once… four or five years back when I was trying to make my way to Flotsam by boat. Saw her tumble right over the Core wall and onto the rocks along shore. Damnedest thing I ever saw. Of course she regenerated, but wasn’t right in the head. Screaming. Babbling about a city of gore and flying steel. Sobbing. Captain blasted her with his gun twice in the noggin. She thanked him afterwards.”
So Blackjack wasn't the first to come up with bullets to the head as therapy for Rampage.
“So if you want to go crawling through her head, fine. It’s probably no more hazardous than a taint enema followed by a radioactive suppository, but it’s your ass.”
And, remarkably, at this point those would both still be bad things for her. Of course later, not as true for the taint.
But we think we might have better luck producing less invasive talisman implants. Things that might make you a little stronger, faster, more charismatic, or smarter.
Did the Brotherhood have something for endurance or perception? Looks like they did. But then, the basic real-world distinction between endurance and strength is probably less than for the rest.
“Really? Healing talismans fight off disease?” I asked with a frown.
“You haven’t gotten sick since you got yours, have you?” she asked with a smirk, and I had to admit that I hadn’t.
Had she got sick much before? And how long has it been, anyway? It's not like going a couple weeks without getting sick is some kind of amazing thing.
“It’s a walk from here to the Skyport. How much trouble could I possibly get in?” I asked with a small smile.
"What could possibly go wrong cliche." [+1 sin]
My cheeks burned, and I said primly, “I won’t dignify that with a response. Suffice to say, while I like the attention and time I spend with Glory in any form, I don’t want her to worry about me. I want her to be able to trust me to keep myself safe when she’s not around.”
Again, imagining Blackjack trying to be prim is just funny to me. Also, point, and I'm a little disappointed Lacunae didn't get that on her own.
“Go ahead. Find some place where the screaming is lessened. I’m going to go check this out,”
Eh, the "lessened" doesn't sound very Blackjack to me.
The boutique was a mess of ruined clothing and ponnequins standing like silent,
I like how "ponnequin" basically breaks down to "pony horse."
“Serfs. Not slaves,” the stallion said reasonably. “You just have to sign the paper saying that you agree. Then we can all leave this horrible place. I’ll heal you all up, and you’ll be ready to get to work.”
“You sure I can’t fuck ‘em?” a deep male voice asked, making my hackles rise.
“Not unless you want to pay for the damaged goods, Pain Train,” the mare growled.
Huh, I'm not sure how well Blackjack could really look on Pain Train later on given that's the first thing she ever hears him say. Maybe he was just playing bad cop, or she ends up thinking that.
‘Pain Train’? Really? Did he give himself that name? “Though,” the mare said in a considering tone of voice, “if they don’t sign soon, why the fuck not?”
“There? You hear that?” The stallion said in conciliatory tones. “Better sign, or we may not be able to control my friend here.”
Ah. Yep.
I felt my fanny start to tingle as I began to feel like I was about to get in Trouble. I looked at the gray earth pony mare. Two hunting rifles in her saddle. I frowned and tapped my nose. If I killed her, the unicorn might blow the collars. I looked at Vigilance, pressed my lips together, and thought it through. There was no way I was going to simply let them go.
Then I looked at the ponnequins and a small smile spread across my face.
Okay, odds on the phrase "superstitious and cowardly lot" making an appearance in the near future?
I had a good opportunity to observe these in action as its backhanded swipe sent me flying, augmented legs and all, clear across the room.
Beats the alternative of being sent flying across the room without your augmented legs.
Pain Train, I assumed. Apt name.
Oh, Blackjack's change of feeling on his name from Really? Did he give that name to himself? to this is just great.
I used the only weapon I had left. I threw the cyberpony cake as hard as I could straight into his face! The disk struck him right between the eyes, and he let out a roar as he staggered back, clutching his forehead. He blinked twice, some blood dripping down between his eyes, and then picked up the disk with two fingers. “Did you just try and kill me with a... what is this?”
A much needed distraction!
Unfortunately, now also a weapon he could use against you, but he probably doesn't need it so no harm done.
I reached down and pulled out Duty, grasping it in my jaw and taking aim.
I think this might be the first time she's use one of them on its own.
And my horn gave a fizzle, then a flash, and everything went white. I flopped limply on my back on top of some junk, my horn coated in a layer of soot. A split second later the gray giant rammed into the wall three feet to my left with an impact that made the whole boutique shudder. He glared down at me with his horns embedded in the wall. “Cheater...” he muttered sullenly.
“Don’t look at me! I didn’t even know it was going to happen!” I said as I pushed myself to my hooves. “What the hell are you?” I asked as I looked around for my weapons in all the mess.
And Blackjack can now teleport, at least a bit. Really lucky break there. Also, Blackjack: keeping her attention on the things that matter since whatever the hell year it is (or 2011, I guess, if you want to use the "real world").
I didn’t waste any time as I charged, swinging the heavy disk as hard as I could.
Man, I feel bad about what I was thinking as I read this.
My only saving grace was that the throw through the wall and into the front of the boutique missed anything structural.
Surprising even that saved her, given the overengineering of the age and especially the city. Also, it's nice that here the way she got lucky was spelled out instead of it just being luck (though when it's just bullets missing her/her most vital parts, there's only so much to be done).
He slowly grinned, gave another explosive blast from his nostrils, and then raced at me once again. This time I didn’t just wait for the impact. I charged back.
S1E2 callback in 3, 2, 1 . . .
I leapt up, pointing all four of my hooves at a single point as I came down. Not at his head. No, I doubted that even with my mass I could get through that skull. My target was something else: the floor right in front of him. With a wooden crunch, the floor collapsed under me, and I was falling into the basement of the boutique.
Averted! Oh, yeah, I remember this now. Nice misdirection.
I rose as high as I could on my rear legs as he surged forward like a rage-fueled tsunami and gripped the cake tightly.
I originally misread this as "like a rage-filled salami," and man is that a whole lot funnier. And salami can even be made from beef!
“Oh come on!” I shouted as his head reappeared.
See, that's the kind of thing a relative of Rarity's would say. It's understandable she was thinking along those lines.
I reached into the water at the base of the collapsed beam and retrieved my cake. Still as nutritious and delicious as ever, and not even crumbled!
They should pit the cakes against clipboards and see which is more indestructible.
There was a tiny yellow pegasus inside me giving me great big teal pleading eyes. I groaned, rubbing my temples. No, Fluttershy. There is ‘be kind,’ and then there’s ‘be stupid.’ The tiny yellow pegasus gave a little sniff and just stared at me. He’d tried to kill me! Her tiny lip quivered. I clenched my eyes, determined to do what smart ponies did with when they fought big, terrible, half-bull monsters, which was to just go. I could learn... I... She gave the tiniest little whimper.
This is surprisingly well written Fluttershy.
All three power-armored soldiers pointed their weapons at me again. I passed Lacunae a warning to be ready to shield me as I grinned at them. “Nice armor. Nice guns, too,” I said calmly as I looked at their wingcovers. A telekinetic yank upwards as I passed forward, three shots from Vigilance right into the wingpit, sword out and slicing through the same weak point in the armor of the pegasus on the other side. Pivot around. Jump and grab the third with my fingers and ground him, then maybe finish them off.
Of course... if I’d actually done that, that would have been Trouble...
Also, wasn't her horn just dead on leaving the boutique?
That wasn’t a problem. Between my fingers and our magic, we should be okay if something went bad.
Okay, so I guess she's recharged. I guess it could have been as much as a couple hours.
“I was saying ‘where is Glory?’ Why isn’t she with you? Did something happen to her too?” the mare said in worry. “Sky Striker is here. He’s been talking about finding her.” She looked sharply at me, “And you, for that matter. Something about bed champions?”
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Oh, Celestia. That did it. I turned on my broadcaster, opened a channel to wherever, and shouted, “Okay! Attention everypony! Security here! I am a dirty, lecherous, adulterous mule! I cheated on the best mare in the Wasteland and am a bad, bad pony. Happy?!” I blurted, then threw my hooves overhead. Lightning Dancer stared at me in horror as Lacunae covered her face with a wingtip.
*slow clap*
“Scootaloo thought differently,” Stratus said bitterly. The ancient pegasus’s eyes widened in shock a moment, then drooped. In that moment, he looked every bit as old as he was.
1. Is the ancient (unnamed, I think) Honored Counsilor old enough to have known Scootaloo?
2. How would Blackjack know this (or how old he was in general) to make the "every bit as old as he was" bit of narration make sense?
No guns. All I had were thumbs, a burned out horn, and Glory’s cakes. “Lacunae! Wake up!” I yelled as hooves thundered right outside the door. “Damn it...”
Okay, so she was burned out . . . but then how did she try magic on the cloud terminal? Maybe she had enough for minimal levitation/TK, but nothing else?
Then she noticed that I was wrestling with an Enclave soldier and trying to fend off another, and her eyes popped wide. She wasted no time in racing to my side, her horn flared brighter and brighter. I shoved the mare away just before the room flashed and dissolved around me.
Sadly, she had to leave behind her good friends Vigilance, Duty and Sacrifice, and the starmetal sword. They will be missed.
I was in no mood for reasonable. I wanted to sulk my weapons back into their holsters!
Blackjack has some of the best desires.
“It makes me so angry, what she does to you,” I growled.
“Why?” she asked with a small, sad smile. “I’m not a person. I’m just a collection of memories. Any critical memories intrinsic to my own identity are gone.”
Possibly inside Blackjack.
P-21 laughed softly. “Yeah, but what would happen to Blackjack without us?”
“She’d probably trip, blow up half of the Hoof,” Rampage laughed.
“Start a war between the Harbingers and the Enclave,” P-21 added, “all while feeling horrible about it.”
“And wind up pregnant with a mule,” Rampage chuckled.
Heh.
He sighed again and then chuckled, “I wonder if Twilight Sparkle’s friends were ever as aggravated with her as we are with her great great great oh so greaty great great granddaughter.”
Well, it's out there now. And yes, I think they were.
When will she say ‘enough is enough’ and stop?”
“Never,” Rampage said. “And you love her for it.”
“Please. She’s a penis short for me,” he grumbled.
“You do,” Rampage teased. I peeked and saw the filly’s sly little smile.
“I love her name,” he muttered. “Not Blackjack. Her real name. I love how she seems like she can do anything… at least till she can’t. I like how she keeps trying to to good, no matter how bad it hurts.” He sighed long and low. “But loving her? You’d have to get me pretty drunk to pull that one off.”
Tee hee hee.
Had my friends been sneaking around me since I’d come back as a cyberpony? They must have been. Running off and getting drunk on a gallon and a half of whiskey.
Well, Blackjack never said she was good at math.
Her smile turned sad. “At least you’re sorry. Most folks aren’t. Yet, doesn’t that ganger desire the same things as their victims? Happiness? Health? Security? Joy? Yes, their expression is terrible, but their desires are all too common.” She looked towards the Core. “If you scrape away all that pain and angst, what they want is what anyone wants: happiness and cooperation.”
Holy shit she's deluded, given who she's working for. That or playing the part really heavy.
“Hopefully tonight. That P-21 fellow said he was going to cook something special.” She gave a little shudder. “Thank the sun for that. Glory always had her father’s skills in the kitchen.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked in bewilderment. “She’s a great cook. I mean, she made this,” I said as I nibbled on the half-chewed cake.
Dawn just looked at me blankly with her odd squint, then smiled and said gaily, “Ah, love.”
I love that it isn't love.
The filly’s cutie mark was a strange diamond over an unwrapped scroll. The four-sided diamond was made up of two strange apparati. The bottom one was a ruler which seemed to be bent in the middle at a ninety degree angle. The top was some strange piece of equipment that resembled two sharpened metal sticks joined at the apex by a hinge. On the parchment was some strange abstract design that appeared vaguely structural.
This was possibly one of the more subtle references I've recognized. Scotch the Freemason.
It wasn’t anything like a Stable 99 cutie mark party. There weren’t any recycled dresses, the food was whatever we could raid from Charity’s stores and a Society merchant Lacunae cornered in Megamart, and the festivities were rape free (thank goodness).
Ain't no party like a Stable 99 party. And that's a good thing.
The vast majority of the colts and fillies were both utterly baffled and completely delighted by the festivities. When they got their cutie marks, it was mostly just another day. Who could spare food and energy for a celebration over a cutie mark? So rather than saying this was just for Scotch and her mark, I hastily made up a story of ‘cutie mark day.’
Well, the whole not being dishonest in order to spare others' feelings didn't last long. ;-)
Lacunae floated bowls of some sort of improvised punch drink stuff that was mostly Sparkle-Cola onto tables outside the front door and put a brake on any of the festivities that got too wild.
Playing the "mom" again, like in the orphanage (and of course, Chapel basically is an orphanage)?
There was a little bit of regret, too. I’d liked making music. It’d been nice; it’d saved me more than once when I’d been at my absolute worst. And a part of me liked to imagine just what I’d have been like in another time and place where I could have learned music rather than how to patrol and enforce the rules of the Overmare. It was a silly, selfish thought, but I felt it all the same.
Ever notice that it seems like whenever Blackjack talks about being selfish, it's when she's thinking about things that are almost as non-selfish as she gets? Or where calling them selfish is setting the bar for selflessness so high that almost nobody could clear it?
And ultimately, I liked giving her to the three who’d lost their friend more than I liked playing her for myself.
Dealer chuckled softly beside me. “You don’t have to sit out here. You can go and join them.” The white pony looked better than he had before, more rested. Younger, too.
“I don’t deserve to,” I said quietly, taking a pull on a bottle of Wild Pegasus I’d obtained for the celebrations. He gave a deep sigh, and I smiled. “It’s alright. I’m fine like this.”
And, from watching Psalm's memory, Blackjack—now, repeat after me, class—learned absolutely nothing.
I looked at the celebration and frowned a little, tallying up all the good things... and bad things... that had happened today. . . . Saw a Psalm dream that didn’t have me in tears.
Why not? It ended happily, but it was really sad before then!
- Chapter Fifty One Overall Thoughts:
- As you'd expect from the title, this one was a pretty calm chapter. At just one major action scene, plus a mini-fight at the Skyport, things were more focused on the characters and moving the plot forward.
One of the real highlights of the chapter was the Psalm memory about her time at the orphanage and her friendship with Cheddar before he left and she ultimately was adopted by Goldenblood. It was emotionally taxing how she had so thoroughly given up hope for a normal life, even normal friendships, and was willing to sacrifice what little she did to make Cheddar do the right thing for himself and leave to go to Celestia's school. And this background really informed not only how Lacunae is so focused on others and so intent on the idea she isn't a real person—implicitly, I think, that she doesn't deserve to be a real person—but also her loyalty, indeed zealotry, for Goldenblood and Princess Luna especially. I can't be sure, but I also think that maybe Celestia's role in taking Cheddar away from her factored in to her willingness to take the shot at Shattered Hoof Ridge. Especially so since I believe Cheddar showed up in that scene, which may have brought those feelings more to the fore.
One of the major things that keeps popping up in the chapter is keeping the truth from friends and family in order to make them feel better, or keep them stable, or any number of reasons. One of the key examples is Glory keeping (unsuccessfully) her identity from Dawn, and Dawn not telling her that she knows. (Otherwise, there wasn't too much going on with Dawn apart from coming off as an idealist, very focused on the idea that all people could come together, making a better world and ending conflict, and explaining that she'd gone all over the world searching for hope, and had found it.) Blackjack ostensibly learns how much it hurts to be on the receiving end upon overhearing P-21 and Rampage talking about how she was Twilight's descendant but they were keeping it secret until she could handle it, among other things like what they would do if they weren't going to keep following Blackjack, and to what extent P-21 does or does not love her. As a result of hearing this, and her resulting hurt feelings, Blackjack suggests to Dawn she just tell Glory she knows she's her daughter, and prepare for tears and maybe a physical assault. Somehow, though, I don't think that Blackjack will end up being very forthright about how much trouble she got into during her day, after promising not to and having really worried Glory due to her intensely adverse reaction to the memory magic with Rampage (according to Triage, were it not for the regeneration talisman, she'd have been dead of an aneurism).
Now, there were two peaks to her "trouble": taking on a minotaur by herself and a clusterfuck at Rainbow Dash Skyport. The first began when she checked out some blue bars on her E.F.S. in a high Enervation area, meaning Lacunae had to step out (and suggest she just leave it alone to avoid trouble like she had promised Glory). Turns out there were three slavers torturing some scavengers under Envervation to get them to sign a contract to be serfs to the Society. Two of the slavers were ponies who Blackjack scared off with a fake ghost. Pain Train was the last, and was pretty hard to take down. Much use was made of Glory's cyberpony cake in this fight, but more notably Blackjack pulled off her first teleportation soon after hearing from Lacunae that she had the potential to learn more magic than she has to date, if she applies herself. Also, after beating Pain Train, I'd just like to point out there was some very well-written Fluttershy, done entirely through body language, facial expressions, and maybe non-word vocalizations (unless, perhaps, you count "Be Kind").
The point of going to the Skyport was mostly to ask about Glory's sister, but thanks to dramatic convenience there happened to be a meeting between a bunch of the Enclave's high command, with the Director of Enclave Intelligence, Councilor Sky Striker, and Honored Councilor Stargazer on the Thunderhead side and General Storm Chaser, High General Harbinger, and some really ancient general or councilor from Neighvarro. There's a lot of tension over Lighthooves, the bioweapon, spies, and trade with the surface. It's basically setting up the attack on Thunderhead later on, but also dropping that the Enclave will attack Red Eye and showing how open Neighvarro is to allying with the Goddess. There's also a brief discussion of some hair samples the Neighvarro pegasi had from Rainbow Glory, leading to Blackjack learning about the S.P.P. and prepping the plot line where the Enclave tries to abduct Glory.Now, it all turns into a problem because Blackjack and Lacunae are supposed to be hiding and keeping a low profile during the meeting, so they can talk with some people after, but Blackjack, upon hearing the magic words "bed champion" sends out a broadcast berating herself for the Stygius affair, which of course all the Enclave pick up and end up tracing to where she was, before she and Lacunae teleport out, leaving behing Vigilance, Duty and Sacrifice, and the starmetal sword, since they had been surrendered in order to gain access to the Skyport.
Back at Chapel, Scotch Tape leads the completion of their outhouse, complete with flush toilets, earning her cutie mark and membership in the Feemasons, and prompting a party. Interestingly, Lacunae plays something of a mother role at the party, calming things down when the children get out of hand, which was a callback to how Psalm and Cheddar kind of acted as parental stand-ins at the orphanage. It was all a nice capstone to what really was a good day, all things considered.
- Chapter Fifty One Editing:
- Even when she was looking at us, she didn’t open them past the barest squints, but I didn’t get the impression that she was blind. Call me an idiot, but I doubted she would try anything just now. While her pale gray hide bore the scars of a few slashes and bullet wounds, they were old injuries.
would the bolded sentence go better after the one about injuries? it seems a little odd to go from physical description to impression and back, especially when the age of the scars could inform the impression of non-immediate threat
I tried to send Lacunae a warning about Dawn and our story about Glory being in Riverside, but for all I know I told her to kumquat the picklebarrel.
know to knew?
That was good advice. I just hoped that
only one space after period
you’ll find a family. So really, there’s
only one space after period
“One does not speak to your Princess like that!”
pronouns don't match: suggest "your" to "their" or "one's", or "One does" to "You do"
and the Headmaster knows that you could have easily been adopted by now
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized
many of them would look down upon her. I-“
second hyphen for dash, direction of quotation mark
the Headmaster mumbled.
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized
I heard the inhalation of awe and the cries of glee and even a few who cried for joy at the sight of our wonderful ruler.
using two meanings of "cry" in the same sentence may not be the best choice: maybe switch out "wept" for the second "cried"?
I wanted to hold onto the droplets, so clear and pure,
"hold on to"
If I looked at him… If I looked
should have second space after ellipsis or not capitalize second "If"
The rain stopped in a semi-circle around me and I looked up at a dark form drifting down to stand before me.
"semicircle"
rude to snot up a Princess’ coat,
"Princess’s"
I washed the hall of muddy hoofprints by myself, and it took me far longer than the old times when it had been just myself working the scrub brushes.
second "myself" should be "me"
Finally, the orphanage was empty.
The tense shifts several times in this paragraph and the next. For these two, it's possible that much of the "present" action could be rendered in present tense for stylistic reasons, but it should probably be consistently applied. The parts about Psalm's thoughts might be able to remain present even if the actions are changed to past tense, though.
“There’s a new one,” the Headmaster says,
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized, "says" to "said" (unless moving all to present)
He says he’s sure I’ll find a family there.
"says" to "said"(unless moving all to present)
Those are the same words I’ve heard all my life. It’ll be cleaner. Newer. Brighter. I can’t imagine it. This dingy gray building is the world. It’s all I know. I can’t leave it. Perhaps I can stay after the Headmaster goes. Clean the floors. Keep it intact for unwanted things…
Still present tense, but I think its more likely to be okay here as part of Psalm's internal thoughts.
He tells me to pack; says he’ll return in a few hours to take me to the new orphanage. I am left all alone in the empty building. I walk the scrubbed, faded beige linoleum walkway. I peeked into the empty little bedrooms, bunk beds stripped of their mattresses and sheets. There’re a few old toys, broken things, sitting forlorn in the corners. I gathered them up in a blanket. I don’t know what I’ll do with them; nopony wants broken toys.
If keeping actions present tense, "peeked" should be "peek", "gathered" should be "gather"
She’d said to be patient. I imagined I could
only one space after period
“Please, Princess Luna… Please
should have second space after ellipsis or not capitalize second "Please."
disappear so that when the Headmaster returned, I’d be gone.
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized
Slowly I looked up at the beautiful dusky dark shape of the princess of the night.
"princess of the night" should probably be capitalized
“I told you I’d come back.” Luna said softly
period should be comma
ever play with again. Time to look
only one space after period
“Should I call you… father?” I asked
"father" should, I think, be capitalized
“Why don’t you just call me ‘Teacher?’ It’s fitting.
question mark should be outside the quotation marks
a moment before asking. “Do you think I
only one space after period
For the first time since Cheddar had left, I felt a warmth return to me and Goldenblood smiled in quiet approval.
comma after "return to me"?
the idea of being to teleport on my own nearly
"being able to"
Harbingers were long gone. “How about Glory
only one space after period
“Oh you poor deluded little fool,”
comma after "Oh"?
Was there some poisonous strain of truth in the Goddess’s taunts; was Lacunae’s friendship false?
semicolon to comma, colon, or dash, I think
and I laid there a minute expectantly
"laid" should be "lay"
back and forth before me. “Once I’d added
only one space after period
As I laid there a minute later,
I laid on the bed, flipping through the book on beginner’s magic.
"laid" should be "lay"
I wondered if, if the zebras hadn’t attacked us, Equestria would have simply collapsed in its entirety? Without the Ministry Mares, would the Ministries stand?
Seems like this should specify that she means the megaspell attacks, since there were no ministries before the original zebra attacks and everything seemed fine-ish apart from the coal problem.
Project Partypooper, a conspiracy to eliminate everyone who would possess EC-1101.
"would" to "could"?
Something that made miracles work.
"made miracles happen" or "worked miracles"?
“With making full on augmentations?
"full-on" is hyphenated
They’ve got their own sources for everything; guns, food, potions.
semicolon to colon or dash?
goes on about a grand new future
extra space between "a" and "grand"
I’d told Bottlecap that I’d do something about Red Eye’s occupation of the Paradise mall,
"mall" should be capitalized
about herself and turned to re-enter the
"reenter" doesn't need a hyphen
“You promised not to get in trouble,“ Lacunae reminded me.
second quotation mark is in wrong direction
“Burners?” The mare asked as
"The" shouldn't be capitalized
I HUNGER!” the eldritch form howled as it
should have only one space after quotation
tripping over rusty mannequins and racing out half draped in filthy cloth.
"ponnequins"
and its forelegs –arms? – ended in hands.
symmetrical spacing about first dash
scraping his hooves across the floor for traction; his breath blasting out his wide nostrils.
semicolon to comma
I hefted a rusty mannequin, but it flew apart after one blow of his fist.
"ponnequin"
The next thing he hit was going to me at this rate.
"was going to be me"
Look mom, I’m a pegasus.
Should "mom" be capitalized?
I rose as high as I could on my rear legs as he surged forward like a rage-fueled tsunami and gripped the cake tightly.
I'd suggest reordering the sentence to:
I rose as high as I could on my rear legs and gripped the cake tightly as he surged forward like a rage-fueled tsunami.
For a second we both stood there, him panting hard, me pressed against the wall behind and him surrounded by a ring of rubble.
breaking up the part about Pain Train seems odd. Suggest rearranging, maybe:
For a second we both stood there, me pressed against the wall, him surrounded by a ring of rubble, panting hard.
I wished I could breathe the same; slow and continuous reparation just didn’t suit a fight like this.
"respiration"
After having three floors fall on him, he was still breathing, but even this cow monster was knocked cold.
"knocked out cold"?
There is ‘be kind,’ and then there’s ‘be stupid.’
comma, period to outside of quotation marks
I could learn... I... She gave the tiniest little whimper.
should have second space after second ellipsis or not capitalize "She"
I frowned; how’d I know to look for it? There was something about the rings
should have second space after quotation mark
“Follow me east, and we’ll get you-”
second hyphen (or dash) for dash
‘Contract of Servitude,’ they were titled.
comma to outside of quotation marks
our differences in size made me feel like mom was making sure I wasn’t going to run
"mom" should be capitalized
Fortunately, though, she both untied me and quieted down as we drew close to the skyport.
"skyport" should be capitalized
We’re no longer accepting salvage for food and medical servi–“
quotation mark is the wrong direction
I looked the pink mare in the eyes, “You came down here to
comma should be period
the Volunteer Corps apologises for this!”
"apologizes"
“You… she… I… You can’t come in!
should have second space after third ellipsis or not capitalize second "You"
It seemed the utter lack of fear I showed for their armament seemed to be throwing these Enclave a bit.
shouldn't have both "seemed," either
It seemed the utter lack of fear I showed for their armament was throwing these Enclave a bit.
or
The utter lack of fear I showed for their armament seemed to be throwing these Enclave a bit.
eliminate them showed on my face. Or maybe there was
only one space after period
“A Raptor. The Castellanus,”
"Castellanus" should be italicized
it passed right through. I looked at the buttons
only one space after period
Harbinger twisted his lips bitterly, and Storm Chaser seemed to concede the point
missing period
“There is also a question about how these.” General Chaser leaned forward and put a glass bottle on the table. I couldn’t see well, but the contents appeared to be some sort of mane clippings. “Ended up
quotations should end/start with dashes, maybe ellipses, "Ended" shouldn't be capitalized
breach by surfacer terrorists. For all we know,
only one space after period
I heard Harbinger making some sort of comments about ‘possibilities’,
"some sort of comment" or "some comments"?
weapons at me again. I passed Lacunae a warning to be ready to shield me as I grinned at them. “Nice armor. Nice guns, too,” I said calmly as I looked at their wingcovers. A telekinetic yank upwards as I passed forward, three shots from Vigilance right into the wingpit, sword out and slicing through the same weak point in the armor of the pegasus on the other side. Pivot around. Jump and grab the third with my fingers and ground him, then maybe finish them off.
Of course... if I’d actually done that, that would have been Trouble...
Wasn't her horn just dead on leaving the boutique? And later she describes her horn as "burned out" when two Enclave pegasi find her and Lacunae in the monitor room. How could she do combat-strength telekinesis/guns?
That wasn’t a problem. Between my fingers and our magic, we should be okay if something went bad.
Should probably be "Lacunae's magic"
“Lacunae!” I shouted as I heard the mare scream in
should have only one space after quotation
I was in no mood for reasonable. I wanted to sulk my weapons back into their holsters!
. . .
Still, sulking about it wouldn’t really help.
I kind of feel like maybe "really" should be italicized since she's not just thinking that it's unhelpful, but contrasting to her desire that it would help
“She took you over. Completely. Again
only one space after each period
“You make the mistake of thinking that I’m a person to be violated. I’m not. She has the power and took the opportunity. I imagine the Enervation was excruciating for her,” Lacunae replied laconically as she trotted along. “It must have taken a significant part of her focus to achieve it. Despite what you may think, she is not sloppy or careless when she... asserts herself.”
This doesn't seem like a response with particularly few words. An alternative adverb to "laconically" might be in order.
“Of course.” she replied,
period should be comma
wanting to return to its original owners... With just a little push, I
should have second space after ellipsis or not capitalize "With"
The thought of a goddess with humility and compassion thrilled me
"goddess" should be capitalized
I looked at her oddly. There was a
three spaces after period
Some ponies are just broken. Some ponies aren’t meant
Rampage sighed. “Are you going
“Maybe. I promised Homage I would
only one space after period
She didn’t have any weapons... “Those that do, though,
should have second space after ellipsis
Star House high on the hill. “Hopefully
only one space after period
be ready for tears. and make sure she can’t throw you
"and" should be capitalized
So rather than saying this was just for Scotch and her mark, I hastily made up a story of ‘cutie mark day.’
period to outside of quotation marks
Then the blue and magenta Adagio stood firm as the magenta and blue Allegro hopped on his back
until now I think Allegro has been rose and magenta, not magenta and blue
I expected you to put in an appearance at the skyport.
The skyport had been fortified, but I didn’t see armies of Enclave ready to take over the Wasteland.
The skyport had been fortified, but I didn’t see armies of Enclave ready to take over the Wasteland.
"skyport" should be capitalized
- Other Editing:
- 4:
We’re trying to assist by providing food and clothing to the locals around the skyport.
The Steel Rangers in particular have attacked us at the skyport.
"skyport" should be capitalized
5:
I’m pretty sure that if we got to the skyport,
“I’m… just a little unsure of how you get to the skyport from here though.
"skyport" should be capitalized
13:
Once we rescued P-21, I’d walk her right to the skyport if she wanted, but I had to get her away from Operative Lighthooves.
“The operative took our flight pass, so we’ll have to head to the skyport.”
"skyport" should be capitalized
15:
This was a full on competitor.
"full-on" is hyphenated
20:
past all the Enclave at the skyport OR sneak past Paradise,
"skyport" should be capitalized
27:
I could simply back away, go around, and get to the skyport to help the one pony that did need my help.
Behind the sergeant flashed a dozen screens showing various sections of the skyport.
“I can’t believe there wasn’t anything she could do for her,” P-21 muttered as we left the skyport.
"skyport" should be capitalized
29:
had dressed up some yellowed mannequins in studded bondage gear.
‘Cause that was what passed for humor in the Wasteland. A mannequin in a leather gimp suit…
but she was more interested in the mannequins.
"ponnequin(s)"
32:
At least it wasn’t a full on blow-off-my-hooves explosion.
"full-on" is hyphenated
47:
She was princess of the night, and like the night, she was ever-changing and inscrutable.
"Princess of the Night"
49:
“Only if you want a full on revolution on your hooves, led by Twilight and her friends.
"full-on" is hyphenated
“Tia!” Luna cried out, but there was a flash of golden light, and the Princess of the night let out a sob.
"night" should be capitalized
52:
“Well, after the meeting at the skyport, Sky Striker decided he was going to find out what was going on himself.
"skyport" should be capitalized
She was in critical condition, and the Castellanus was closer than the Skyport, so...
As for Dusk, she was unconscious in the Castellanus’s med bay last I saw her,
"Castellanus" should be italicized
54:
Scotch Tape asked curiously as she perched uneasily atop Deus’ turret. Given that Luna was princess of the night, I could only imagine…
"Deus's", "Princess of the Night"
55:
My plan B involves going to the skyport and trying to smuggle ourselves on a Vertibuck.
"skyport" should be capitalized
“You’re here for that? The Fleur? Oh my, the gossipmongers will be so disappointed.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll inform Grace that the Fleur is to be made ready for flight again.
"Fleur" should be italicized
56:
readying the Fleur for our eventual departure.
"Fleur" should be italicized
57:
In the morning, you leave in the Fleur, and we’ll deal with the repercussions,
"Fleur" should be italicized
58:
she said as she walked to the rail of the Fleur and
"Fleur" should be italicized
59:
implacable wall in the sky, Castellanus painted in imposing stenciled letters
In this case, should it be not-italicized and instead in single-quotes?
If they get a return off the Fleur,
"Fleur" should be italicized
“They could not detect our Tempest,” Lancer sneered at her.
should "Tempest" be italicized? I guess it probably isn't a ship, but it's right there, so doesn't hurt to ask
brahmin, approaching the Fleur with dull curiosity.
"Fleur" should be italicized
62.1:
One touched the Castellanus, making the ship quake under my hooves.
"Castellanus" should be italicized
“Which wouldn’t stop Blizzard and the other Raptors,” Storm Chaser answered smoothly.
"Blizzard" should be italicized
Icy Shake- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Silver136 Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:33 am
I understand that, but even though its a small amount of taint in the bullets, it was enough to mess Blackjack up pretty badly before. Add to that any other exposure, which as I said I'm sire there will be at this point due to taints strengthening effect, and I just kind of feel it coming.Last wrote:Silver136 wrote:I understand that, but I feel like now thatBJ knows she's "immune" and sort of strengthened by taint, she's gonna be exposed to it more, so I kinda feel like she's going to somehow overtaint her new body.SilentCarto wrote:The amount of Flux in a Silver Bullet is smaller than the bottle she already drank.Silver136 wrote:I feel like Blackjack is going to lose her blank body as well of she gets Folly back. It taints the user with every shot, and blanks exposed to too much taint become huge. I think the story may come full circle (like when BJ first got Folly and was warned about its taint effect, but was still forced to use it to save people), and have Blackjack either die or become a cyborg again.
I'd question if there were even enough bullets left for Folly to cause that. It was a prototype weapon and the bullets were specially made for it.
Though it's clear that flux gives her some sort of boost. Almost like mintals. If BJ was going to turn into a fattie I'd imagine it would come from abusing flux directly, not from firing folly.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:04 am
10 Bits says Charity's got Folly in stock that she swindled off of some poor scavenger
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:27 am
Ah, thank you very much as always.Icy Shake wrote:Wow, between a bunch of things, including admittedly at two new chapters, it's been a while since I've been able to go back and read a new one. Let's see . . . seven weeks! Well, glad things have settled down enough to get back to a bit of normality. Got to "A Good Day," which of course helped make mine one, too.
Oh, and O. Hinds, I found out what went wrong last time with all the false positives for italicization: Nallar's HTML pulls in some, maybe most, italics, but not all of them. That's the first time I've seen it have that sort of problem, barring of course recent edits.
- Chapter Fifty One Running Thoughts:
I slowly turned my eyes to Scotch Tape, who was focusing intently on her cup of steaming weed water, and finished my pan by staring at P-21 as he poured another cup and offered it to me, meeting my gaze.
Okay, so we have hot tea.
“Um… sorry. I have brain damage. Say again?”
"Hi, I'm Blackjack, and I have brain damage. Pleased to meet you."
Still, if she wanted anonymity, I’d try and play along; if Glory was going to undermine her relationships, who was I to stop her?
Yeah, that kind of happens a lot around here.
For some reason, I could taste blood, and my head was really hurting. Wasn’t the healing talisman supposed to take care of that?
Thing to bear in mind is, this could either be the result of stress, anxiety, suspicion, or it could be a sign that all of those are appropriate reactions to her.
Coming from anypony else, that line would have been pompous, even sanctimonious, but the pegasus practically glowed with sincerity.
It's also possible she was giving off a very low-level physical glow.
I wanted to throw up, but my brain didn’t seem to realize my stomach couldn’t, so all I was left with was a crippling nausea.
well, it can clearly throw up in some cases. Maybe it's controlled by internal sensors, though, and won't unless the cause is actually in the stomach and would be affected by vomiting.
Project Steelpony. Had the zebras stolen it? Had Goldenblood actually given it to them? Or had the zebras developed their own line of augmentation research? For all I knew, Steelpony had been stolen from the enemy in the first place.
This was a pretty good plot line. I'm a little surprised Blackjack thought Goldenblood might have leaked it, though, given how much he tried to stop the leak of megaspell tech.
“I know. And I should. I want to. But when I opened to door, I didn’t think of how much I missed her or that I could finally get answers to questions I’ve had for years. I… I wanted to know why she was here. It felt… contrived. My mother coming out of the Wasteland after all this time looking for me?”
Lampshade . . . hung? Maybe?
“Maybe,” Glory murmured as she glanced at the door and then back at me. “But really… the more I think about it, the harder it is for me to believe she’s here looking for me at all.”
Perceptive.
“Right,” he said, his blue eyes turning to Glory. “For what it’s worth, I don’t trust her.” Was it because she was a mare?
Don't think so. He's been willing to give mares a chance, or at least be less open about it. It's probably that it's contrived creepytown.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a casual grin. “I’m Cheddar. I just got here.” There was a little pain in his eyes, but there was nothing new. We all had sad eyes. “Your name is… Calm? Palm? Buzz Bomb?”
I remember liking this dream a lot, thinking it held up well as an entirely independent (within FoE, of course) short story. I wonder how it'll hold up.
Sure, we had to go to the tired adults who actually cooked the food and took care of the adoptions from time to time, but even they were happy for our help. And a dream began to settle in; a dream where we’d eventually become adults ourselves. And we’d leave together when we were sure the orphanage was in good hooves. And he’d travel all around the world deciphering important things, and I’d see a world I could never imagine. A world where gray did not exist.Sure, we had to go to the tired adults who actually cooked the food and took care of the adoptions from time to time, but even they were happy for our help. And a dream began to settle in; a dream where we’d eventually become adults ourselves. And we’d leave together when we were sure the orphanage was in good hooves. And he’d travel all around the world deciphering important things, and I’d see a world I could never imagine. A world where gray did not exist.
That's both really cute and pretty sad.
“I’m not worth you giving up a future where you could be somepony! Everypony here dreams of finding a family again. Everypony. You lost yours. I never had mine. And there’s twenty other colts and fillies who could only dream of having the chance that you’re throwing away! It’s stupid, and you’re stupid for doing it!”
He stared at me in shock. “But, Psalm, I-- You…” A hurt look rose in his eyes and he asked in a voice I could barely hear over the rain, “Would you go and leave me if she offered it to you?”
I couldn’t look at him as I spat out the lie, “In a heartbeat.”
It's a painful moment, and I have to wonder how it feels on Cheddar's side, even given it seems like there are probably hints she's lying to drive him away, so he'll make the right decision.
“You… you don’t have to…” I whispered, horrified that I’d be such a bother to her. “I’m not worth the trouble.”
“It’s ponies who think they aren’t who are. I know what it’s like to feel worthless and unloved,” [Princess Luna] said as she lifted me with her magic and flew me down to the front gate of the orphanage. “Please, be patient. Have faith. I’ll try and help you soon.”
I think it's very sad she felt this way, but then, maybe she needed to push herself a little bit further in that direction to support making the break with Cheddar.
For a short while, I’d hoped something might happen. That a chariot would come and sweep me off to Canterlot.
Through about the second half of the second sentence, I thought she might be talking about hoping for an accident that would kill her. Glad that wasn't the case.
They were the single light in the blackness that threatened to consume me.
Aaaannd . . . cutie mark. Probably.
And when I came back, the first thing I did was lash out at everypony around me, because I was still angry at them… but also, I was scared. It took me a year before I was brave enough to make a public appearance, and it took a brave mare to help teach me to be happy around others. I know there are times when being around others positively hurts, but that’s better than being alone.
Nice way of incorporating the way Luna just disappeared the first season, and very start of the second.
Time to gather my belongings in the black wool blanket, though there weren’t very many.
Bringing back the blanket Luna gave her on their first meeting is a nice touch.
Together we stepped out the front door. It was one of those rare moments when the rain had stopped and everything was clean and crisp. A rainbow gleamed in the direction of Canterlot and made the golden chariot sparkle with light. It was almost as bright as the candle which appeared on my flank, its lone light the faith against the melancholy that had almost consumed me.
Guess I jumped the gun on that. But not by much.
Well, I do think that dream held up. I'm not even sure it would need to be particularly tied to FoE, though.
“Aren’t I breaking the rules, though? I thought that unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that corresponds to their talent. But I can do magic bullets and light, and now I’m poking into memory magic.”
Well, you see . . . look over there! More seriously, of course, that notion was something that even the show seemed to kill off over time.
Rarity exhibited designer skills but also knew a spell to find gems, as well as teleportation later in life.
Now of course this is only my personal interpretation, but I've long looked at it from the alternative perspective that Rarity's talent is gems, but she applies it to her passion of fashion design.
There was a tiny, immature… okay, maybe not so tiny… part of me that liked the idea of being the descendant of the love child of Rarity and Vanity.
Well, hey, they're both pretty great too. And if that were the case then she'd potentially be whatever kind of royalty he was (possibly assuming no brothers between him and Blueblood, and of course that being the legitimate child isn't required in their inheritance system). Not that I expect Blackjack would care about that sort of thing.
Glory is downstairs. She purchased some… ingredients… from Charity. Now I fear that she’s experimenting in the kitchen. She really should leave the cooking to P-21. He has quite a hoof for it.
Yes! I love Glory's cooking.
“But what about you, Lacunae?” I asked with a small frown. “Are you happy?”
“Please, don’t ask me that, Blackjack. If you are happy, I am happy. It is the closest to happiness I can come,” she said in that resigned voice, but there was something more.
We never got to see too much of Psalm between her adoption and her involvement with the war, but it's hard to imagine otherwise than that her experiences as a soldier and assassin, as well as time in Unity, caused her to become more like the lonely, frightened child that she was at the orphanage than she likely was between her adoption and enlistment (and even perhaps through Shattered Hoof Ridge).
“Please, Blackjack. It’s nothing. It may not even matter anymore. You’re doing so much better now. Please, don’t ask,” she begged, and I backed off. I heard a mental sigh of relief. “Thank you, Blackjack,” she said, and then one last thing leaked through, “and I’m sorry.”
Guilt? What was she guilty about? Lacunae had always been supportive and helpful. She’d been a good friend, and I was thankful that the Goddess had never made her do anything that required me to treat her as anything other than a friend. Ah, the Goddess. That must be it. She felt guilty because of the control the Goddess had over me!
It's striking how little Blackjack ever imagines her friends might harm her, and of course, how quickly she forgives, but in this case I do think that the effect of tying her in to Unity was probably an accident. That, or actually done/compelled by the Goddess, not Lacunae.
Boo sat nearby, her head tilted as if trying to process just what was being created in the cast iron pan.
I like to think that it's something beyond even Discord's imagination, and that makes this so much the better.
Finally I gulped it all down and looked at the worried pegasus. I paused to consider how best to put this to her. “Well Glory, I don’t know how to say this. You tried for perfection…” I said gravely, then grinned. “And you nailed it!”
I think it would be hilarious if (clone) Blackjack ran across one that was leftover at Star House and tried to eat it, still loving the taste but the cake wreaking havoc on her insides.
“I wonder if I can light these on fire?” I mused as I turned it over. “Incendiary cakes of death!” I chortled. Boo simply snorted in dismissal of Glory’s wonderful invention and started nosing around the cupboards.
Yeah, Discord's just envious.
I tried to maintain my dignity as I looked at her and she back at me.
Hard to maintain what you've never had much of.
“I said fine. You’re right. I should know a little more before poking around inside her for more memories,” I said with a simple little shrug of my shoulders. Boo pulled out a Fancy Buck snack cake and started ripping open the wax paper wrapper.
Glory frowned at me. “Who are you, and what did you do with Blackjack?”
I tried to maintain my dignity as I looked at her and she back at me. Our relationship was tense, but we both wanted it to work. I didn’t want to live in a world without Glory. And in her eyes I saw endless worry, barely kept in check, that she'd she'd end up living in a world without Blackjack. “You’re not afraid I’ll get in trouble, going out without you?”
She frowned a moment, as if thinking about that. Then she bowed her head. “I know that I put a collar on you, Blackjack, but I can’t keep you within wing’s length all the time. So I am worried... but I also have to trust you, Blackjack, to stay out of real trouble. Okay?”
There's kind of a weird transition here, since the question was just about Blackjack's response regarding memory magic and Rampage, but then Blackjack starts talking about going out and about. What's with the sudden, non-sequitur subject change?
What? I sat up immediately and read that line once more to make sure that my brain damage wasn’t acting up, then read further.
Dear Princess Luna, it is with great regret a heavy heart that I must tender my resignation and step down as Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Arcane Sciences. Your command decision to execute Goldenblood without trial is a crime insult sad injustice unprecedented in pony history. I am pleased proud of the work that has been committed accomplished by my ministry and everypony working under me and am confident they will be able to serve Equestria admirably, but I cannot remain a part, in good conscience, be a part of this government any longer. I will inform my friends of this decision and hope that your reign is a good ethical better prosperous.
There were other paragraphs saying similar things beneath it, with lines edited or crossed out entirely. Other rough drafts were to Fluttershy and Applejack, telling both that she could not be a part of the Ministries any longer and suggesting neither of them should be either. There was a scratched-out section practically begging Fluttershy to talk to Pinkie Pie about stepping down from Ministry of Morale and asking Applejack to try and get Rarity away from Image.
Wow, just how small does Twilight write for all that to fit on one piece of paper?
I clenched my eyes closed. Damn it, I hadn’t been able to open the stupid Tenpony door! And now, more than ever, I had the overwhelming sense that I should have been able to open it!
Something was off, and for the first time, I couldn’t stop myself from seriously wondering if there was some terrible truth behind the Goddess’s snide accusations. Maybe there was something my friends were keeping from me after all...
"Yer a Sparkle, Beejay."
I had to bully Triage a little bit with suggestions about ‘learning as I went’ and experimentation... each one seeming to have the effect of giving the mare a migraine. I guessed I would have had the same reaction if somepony told me they were going to try to clear a jammed gun by bashing it with a rock.
I just imagined Charm bashing an IF-88 with a rock while Blackjack watches, helpless to stop her.
“I actually found her once… four or five years back when I was trying to make my way to Flotsam by boat. Saw her tumble right over the Core wall and onto the rocks along shore. Damnedest thing I ever saw. Of course she regenerated, but wasn’t right in the head. Screaming. Babbling about a city of gore and flying steel. Sobbing. Captain blasted her with his gun twice in the noggin. She thanked him afterwards.”
So Blackjack wasn't the first to come up with bullets to the head as therapy for Rampage.
“So if you want to go crawling through her head, fine. It’s probably no more hazardous than a taint enema followed by a radioactive suppository, but it’s your ass.”
And, remarkably, at this point those would both still be bad things for her. Of course later, not as true for the taint.
But we think we might have better luck producing less invasive talisman implants. Things that might make you a little stronger, faster, more charismatic, or smarter.
Did the Brotherhood have something for endurance or perception? Looks like they did. But then, the basic real-world distinction between endurance and strength is probably less than for the rest.
“Really? Healing talismans fight off disease?” I asked with a frown.
“You haven’t gotten sick since you got yours, have you?” she asked with a smirk, and I had to admit that I hadn’t.
Had she got sick much before? And how long has it been, anyway? It's not like going a couple weeks without getting sick is some kind of amazing thing.
“It’s a walk from here to the Skyport. How much trouble could I possibly get in?” I asked with a small smile.
"What could possibly go wrong cliche." [+1 sin]
My cheeks burned, and I said primly, “I won’t dignify that with a response. Suffice to say, while I like the attention and time I spend with Glory in any form, I don’t want her to worry about me. I want her to be able to trust me to keep myself safe when she’s not around.”
Again, imagining Blackjack trying to be prim is just funny to me. Also, point, and I'm a little disappointed Lacunae didn't get that on her own.
“Go ahead. Find some place where the screaming is lessened. I’m going to go check this out,”
Eh, the "lessened" doesn't sound very Blackjack to me.
The boutique was a mess of ruined clothing and ponnequins standing like silent,
I like how "ponnequin" basically breaks down to "pony horse."
“Serfs. Not slaves,” the stallion said reasonably. “You just have to sign the paper saying that you agree. Then we can all leave this horrible place. I’ll heal you all up, and you’ll be ready to get to work.”
“You sure I can’t fuck ‘em?” a deep male voice asked, making my hackles rise.
“Not unless you want to pay for the damaged goods, Pain Train,” the mare growled.
Huh, I'm not sure how well Blackjack could really look on Pain Train later on given that's the first thing she ever hears him say. Maybe he was just playing bad cop, or she ends up thinking that.
‘Pain Train’? Really? Did he give himself that name? “Though,” the mare said in a considering tone of voice, “if they don’t sign soon, why the fuck not?”
“There? You hear that?” The stallion said in conciliatory tones. “Better sign, or we may not be able to control my friend here.”
Ah. Yep.
I felt my fanny start to tingle as I began to feel like I was about to get in Trouble. I looked at the gray earth pony mare. Two hunting rifles in her saddle. I frowned and tapped my nose. If I killed her, the unicorn might blow the collars. I looked at Vigilance, pressed my lips together, and thought it through. There was no way I was going to simply let them go.
Then I looked at the ponnequins and a small smile spread across my face.
Okay, odds on the phrase "superstitious and cowardly lot" making an appearance in the near future?
I had a good opportunity to observe these in action as its backhanded swipe sent me flying, augmented legs and all, clear across the room.
Beats the alternative of being sent flying across the room without your augmented legs.
Pain Train, I assumed. Apt name.
Oh, Blackjack's change of feeling on his name from Really? Did he give that name to himself? to this is just great.
I used the only weapon I had left. I threw the cyberpony cake as hard as I could straight into his face! The disk struck him right between the eyes, and he let out a roar as he staggered back, clutching his forehead. He blinked twice, some blood dripping down between his eyes, and then picked up the disk with two fingers. “Did you just try and kill me with a... what is this?”
A much needed distraction!
Unfortunately, now also a weapon he could use against you, but he probably doesn't need it so no harm done.
I reached down and pulled out Duty, grasping it in my jaw and taking aim.
I think this might be the first time she's use one of them on its own.
And my horn gave a fizzle, then a flash, and everything went white. I flopped limply on my back on top of some junk, my horn coated in a layer of soot. A split second later the gray giant rammed into the wall three feet to my left with an impact that made the whole boutique shudder. He glared down at me with his horns embedded in the wall. “Cheater...” he muttered sullenly.
“Don’t look at me! I didn’t even know it was going to happen!” I said as I pushed myself to my hooves. “What the hell are you?” I asked as I looked around for my weapons in all the mess.
And Blackjack can now teleport, at least a bit. Really lucky break there. Also, Blackjack: keeping her attention on the things that matter since whatever the hell year it is (or 2011, I guess, if you want to use the "real world").
I didn’t waste any time as I charged, swinging the heavy disk as hard as I could.
Man, I feel bad about what I was thinking as I read this.
My only saving grace was that the throw through the wall and into the front of the boutique missed anything structural.
Surprising even that saved her, given the overengineering of the age and especially the city. Also, it's nice that here the way she got lucky was spelled out instead of it just being luck (though when it's just bullets missing her/her most vital parts, there's only so much to be done).
He slowly grinned, gave another explosive blast from his nostrils, and then raced at me once again. This time I didn’t just wait for the impact. I charged back.
S1E2 callback in 3, 2, 1 . . .
I leapt up, pointing all four of my hooves at a single point as I came down. Not at his head. No, I doubted that even with my mass I could get through that skull. My target was something else: the floor right in front of him. With a wooden crunch, the floor collapsed under me, and I was falling into the basement of the boutique.
Averted! Oh, yeah, I remember this now. Nice misdirection.
I rose as high as I could on my rear legs as he surged forward like a rage-fueled tsunami and gripped the cake tightly.
I originally misread this as "like a rage-filled salami," and man is that a whole lot funnier. And salami can even be made from beef!
“Oh come on!” I shouted as his head reappeared.
See, that's the kind of thing a relative of Rarity's would say. It's understandable she was thinking along those lines.
I reached into the water at the base of the collapsed beam and retrieved my cake. Still as nutritious and delicious as ever, and not even crumbled!
They should pit the cakes against clipboards and see which is more indestructible.
There was a tiny yellow pegasus inside me giving me great big teal pleading eyes. I groaned, rubbing my temples. No, Fluttershy. There is ‘be kind,’ and then there’s ‘be stupid.’ The tiny yellow pegasus gave a little sniff and just stared at me. He’d tried to kill me! Her tiny lip quivered. I clenched my eyes, determined to do what smart ponies did with when they fought big, terrible, half-bull monsters, which was to just go. I could learn... I... She gave the tiniest little whimper.
This is surprisingly well written Fluttershy.
All three power-armored soldiers pointed their weapons at me again. I passed Lacunae a warning to be ready to shield me as I grinned at them. “Nice armor. Nice guns, too,” I said calmly as I looked at their wingcovers. A telekinetic yank upwards as I passed forward, three shots from Vigilance right into the wingpit, sword out and slicing through the same weak point in the armor of the pegasus on the other side. Pivot around. Jump and grab the third with my fingers and ground him, then maybe finish them off.
Of course... if I’d actually done that, that would have been Trouble...
Also, wasn't her horn just dead on leaving the boutique?
That wasn’t a problem. Between my fingers and our magic, we should be okay if something went bad.
Okay, so I guess she's recharged. I guess it could have been as much as a couple hours.
“I was saying ‘where is Glory?’ Why isn’t she with you? Did something happen to her too?” the mare said in worry. “Sky Striker is here. He’s been talking about finding her.” She looked sharply at me, “And you, for that matter. Something about bed champions?”
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Oh, Celestia. That did it. I turned on my broadcaster, opened a channel to wherever, and shouted, “Okay! Attention everypony! Security here! I am a dirty, lecherous, adulterous mule! I cheated on the best mare in the Wasteland and am a bad, bad pony. Happy?!” I blurted, then threw my hooves overhead. Lightning Dancer stared at me in horror as Lacunae covered her face with a wingtip.
*slow clap*
“Scootaloo thought differently,” Stratus said bitterly. The ancient pegasus’s eyes widened in shock a moment, then drooped. In that moment, he looked every bit as old as he was.
1. Is the ancient (unnamed, I think) Honored Counsilor old enough to have known Scootaloo?
2. How would Blackjack know this (or how old he was in general) to make the "every bit as old as he was" bit of narration make sense?
No guns. All I had were thumbs, a burned out horn, and Glory’s cakes. “Lacunae! Wake up!” I yelled as hooves thundered right outside the door. “Damn it...”
Okay, so she was burned out . . . but then how did she try magic on the cloud terminal? Maybe she had enough for minimal levitation/TK, but nothing else?
Then she noticed that I was wrestling with an Enclave soldier and trying to fend off another, and her eyes popped wide. She wasted no time in racing to my side, her horn flared brighter and brighter. I shoved the mare away just before the room flashed and dissolved around me.
Sadly, she had to leave behind her good friends Vigilance, Duty and Sacrifice, and the starmetal sword. They will be missed.
I was in no mood for reasonable. I wanted to sulk my weapons back into their holsters!
Blackjack has some of the best desires.
“It makes me so angry, what she does to you,” I growled.
“Why?” she asked with a small, sad smile. “I’m not a person. I’m just a collection of memories. Any critical memories intrinsic to my own identity are gone.”
Possibly inside Blackjack.
P-21 laughed softly. “Yeah, but what would happen to Blackjack without us?”
“She’d probably trip, blow up half of the Hoof,” Rampage laughed.
“Start a war between the Harbingers and the Enclave,” P-21 added, “all while feeling horrible about it.”
“And wind up pregnant with a mule,” Rampage chuckled.
Heh.
He sighed again and then chuckled, “I wonder if Twilight Sparkle’s friends were ever as aggravated with her as we are with her great great great oh so greaty great great granddaughter.”
Well, it's out there now. And yes, I think they were.
When will she say ‘enough is enough’ and stop?”
“Never,” Rampage said. “And you love her for it.”
“Please. She’s a penis short for me,” he grumbled.
“You do,” Rampage teased. I peeked and saw the filly’s sly little smile.
“I love her name,” he muttered. “Not Blackjack. Her real name. I love how she seems like she can do anything… at least till she can’t. I like how she keeps trying to to good, no matter how bad it hurts.” He sighed long and low. “But loving her? You’d have to get me pretty drunk to pull that one off.”
Tee hee hee.
Had my friends been sneaking around me since I’d come back as a cyberpony? They must have been. Running off and getting drunk on a gallon and a half of whiskey.
Well, Blackjack never said she was good at math.
Her smile turned sad. “At least you’re sorry. Most folks aren’t. Yet, doesn’t that ganger desire the same things as their victims? Happiness? Health? Security? Joy? Yes, their expression is terrible, but their desires are all too common.” She looked towards the Core. “If you scrape away all that pain and angst, what they want is what anyone wants: happiness and cooperation.”
Holy shit she's deluded, given who she's working for. That or playing the part really heavy.
“Hopefully tonight. That P-21 fellow said he was going to cook something special.” She gave a little shudder. “Thank the sun for that. Glory always had her father’s skills in the kitchen.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked in bewilderment. “She’s a great cook. I mean, she made this,” I said as I nibbled on the half-chewed cake.
Dawn just looked at me blankly with her odd squint, then smiled and said gaily, “Ah, love.”
I love that it isn't love.
The filly’s cutie mark was a strange diamond over an unwrapped scroll. The four-sided diamond was made up of two strange apparati. The bottom one was a ruler which seemed to be bent in the middle at a ninety degree angle. The top was some strange piece of equipment that resembled two sharpened metal sticks joined at the apex by a hinge. On the parchment was some strange abstract design that appeared vaguely structural.
This was possibly one of the more subtle references I've recognized. Scotch the Freemason.
It wasn’t anything like a Stable 99 cutie mark party. There weren’t any recycled dresses, the food was whatever we could raid from Charity’s stores and a Society merchant Lacunae cornered in Megamart, and the festivities were rape free (thank goodness).
Ain't no party like a Stable 99 party. And that's a good thing.
The vast majority of the colts and fillies were both utterly baffled and completely delighted by the festivities. When they got their cutie marks, it was mostly just another day. Who could spare food and energy for a celebration over a cutie mark? So rather than saying this was just for Scotch and her mark, I hastily made up a story of ‘cutie mark day.’
Well, the whole not being dishonest in order to spare others' feelings didn't last long. ;-)
Lacunae floated bowls of some sort of improvised punch drink stuff that was mostly Sparkle-Cola onto tables outside the front door and put a brake on any of the festivities that got too wild.
Playing the "mom" again, like in the orphanage (and of course, Chapel basically is an orphanage)?
There was a little bit of regret, too. I’d liked making music. It’d been nice; it’d saved me more than once when I’d been at my absolute worst. And a part of me liked to imagine just what I’d have been like in another time and place where I could have learned music rather than how to patrol and enforce the rules of the Overmare. It was a silly, selfish thought, but I felt it all the same.
Ever notice that it seems like whenever Blackjack talks about being selfish, it's when she's thinking about things that are almost as non-selfish as she gets? Or where calling them selfish is setting the bar for selflessness so high that almost nobody could clear it?
And ultimately, I liked giving her to the three who’d lost their friend more than I liked playing her for myself.
Dealer chuckled softly beside me. “You don’t have to sit out here. You can go and join them.” The white pony looked better than he had before, more rested. Younger, too.
“I don’t deserve to,” I said quietly, taking a pull on a bottle of Wild Pegasus I’d obtained for the celebrations. He gave a deep sigh, and I smiled. “It’s alright. I’m fine like this.”
And, from watching Psalm's memory, Blackjack—now, repeat after me, class—learned absolutely nothing.
I looked at the celebration and frowned a little, tallying up all the good things... and bad things... that had happened today. . . . Saw a Psalm dream that didn’t have me in tears.
Why not? It ended happily, but it was really sad before then!
- Chapter Fifty One Overall Thoughts:
One of the real highlights of the chapter was the Psalm memory about her time at the orphanage and her friendship with Cheddar before he left and she ultimately was adopted by Goldenblood. It was emotionally taxing how she had so thoroughly given up hope for a normal life, even normal friendships, and was willing to sacrifice what little she did to make Cheddar do the right thing for himself and leave to go to Celestia's school. And this background really informed not only how Lacunae is so focused on others and so intent on the idea she isn't a real person—implicitly, I think, that she doesn't deserve to be a real person—but also her loyalty, indeed zealotry, for Goldenblood and Princess Luna especially. I can't be sure, but I also think that maybe Celestia's role in taking Cheddar away from her factored in to her willingness to take the shot at Shattered Hoof Ridge. Especially so since I believe Cheddar showed up in that scene, which may have brought those feelings more to the fore.
One of the major things that keeps popping up in the chapter is keeping the truth from friends and family in order to make them feel better, or keep them stable, or any number of reasons. One of the key examples is Glory keeping (unsuccessfully) her identity from Dawn, and Dawn not telling her that she knows. (Otherwise, there wasn't too much going on with Dawn apart from coming off as an idealist, very focused on the idea that all people could come together, making a better world and ending conflict, and explaining that she'd gone all over the world searching for hope, and had found it.) Blackjack ostensibly learns how much it hurts to be on the receiving end upon overhearing P-21 and Rampage talking about how she was Twilight's descendant but they were keeping it secret until she could handle it, among other things like what they would do if they weren't going to keep following Blackjack, and to what extent P-21 does or does not love her. As a result of hearing this, and her resulting hurt feelings, Blackjack suggests to Dawn she just tell Glory she knows she's her daughter, and prepare for tears and maybe a physical assault. Somehow, though, I don't think that Blackjack will end up being very forthright about how much trouble she got into during her day, after promising not to and having really worried Glory due to her intensely adverse reaction to the memory magic with Rampage (according to Triage, were it not for the regeneration talisman, she'd have been dead of an aneurism).
Now, there were two peaks to her "trouble": taking on a minotaur by herself and a clusterfuck at Rainbow Dash Skyport. The first began when she checked out some blue bars on her E.F.S. in a high Enervation area, meaning Lacunae had to step out (and suggest she just leave it alone to avoid trouble like she had promised Glory). Turns out there were three slavers torturing some scavengers under Envervation to get them to sign a contract to be serfs to the Society. Two of the slavers were ponies who Blackjack scared off with a fake ghost. Pain Train was the last, and was pretty hard to take down. Much use was made of Glory's cyberpony cake in this fight, but more notably Blackjack pulled off her first teleportation soon after hearing from Lacunae that she had the potential to learn more magic than she has to date, if she applies herself. Also, after beating Pain Train, I'd just like to point out there was some very well-written Fluttershy, done entirely through body language, facial expressions, and maybe non-word vocalizations (unless, perhaps, you count "Be Kind").
The point of going to the Skyport was mostly to ask about Glory's sister, but thanks to dramatic convenience there happened to be a meeting between a bunch of the Enclave's high command, with the Director of Enclave Intelligence, Councilor Sky Striker, and Honored Councilor Stargazer on the Thunderhead side and General Storm Chaser, High General Harbinger, and some really ancient general or councilor from Neighvarro. There's a lot of tension over Lighthooves, the bioweapon, spies, and trade with the surface. It's basically setting up the attack on Thunderhead later on, but also dropping that the Enclave will attack Red Eye and showing how open Neighvarro is to allying with the Goddess. There's also a brief discussion of some hair samples the Neighvarro pegasi had from Rainbow Glory, leading to Blackjack learning about the S.P.P. and prepping the plot line where the Enclave tries to abduct Glory.Now, it all turns into a problem because Blackjack and Lacunae are supposed to be hiding and keeping a low profile during the meeting, so they can talk with some people after, but Blackjack, upon hearing the magic words "bed champion" sends out a broadcast berating herself for the Stygius affair, which of course all the Enclave pick up and end up tracing to where she was, before she and Lacunae teleport out, leaving behing Vigilance, Duty and Sacrifice, and the starmetal sword, since they had been surrendered in order to gain access to the Skyport.
Back at Chapel, Scotch Tape leads the completion of their outhouse, complete with flush toilets, earning her cutie mark and membership in the Feemasons, and prompting a party. Interestingly, Lacunae plays something of a mother role at the party, calming things down when the children get out of hand, which was a callback to how Psalm and Cheddar kind of acted as parental stand-ins at the orphanage. It was all a nice capstone to what really was a good day, all things considered.
- Chapter Fifty One Editing:
would the bolded sentence go better after the one about injuries? it seems a little odd to go from physical description to impression and back, especially when the age of the scars could inform the impression of non-immediate threat
I tried to send Lacunae a warning about Dawn and our story about Glory being in Riverside, but for all I know I told her to kumquat the picklebarrel.
know to knew?
That was good advice. I just hoped that
only one space after period
you’ll find a family. So really, there’s
only one space after period
“One does not speak to your Princess like that!”
pronouns don't match: suggest "your" to "their" or "one's", or "One does" to "You do"
and the Headmaster knows that you could have easily been adopted by now
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized
many of them would look down upon her. I-“
second hyphen for dash, direction of quotation mark
the Headmaster mumbled.
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized
I heard the inhalation of awe and the cries of glee and even a few who cried for joy at the sight of our wonderful ruler.
using two meanings of "cry" in the same sentence may not be the best choice: maybe switch out "wept" for the second "cried"?
I wanted to hold onto the droplets, so clear and pure,
"hold on to"
If I looked at him… If I looked
should have second space after ellipsis or not capitalize second "If"
The rain stopped in a semi-circle around me and I looked up at a dark form drifting down to stand before me.
"semicircle"
rude to snot up a Princess’ coat,
"Princess’s"
I washed the hall of muddy hoofprints by myself, and it took me far longer than the old times when it had been just myself working the scrub brushes.
second "myself" should be "me"
Finally, the orphanage was empty.
The tense shifts several times in this paragraph and the next. For these two, it's possible that much of the "present" action could be rendered in present tense for stylistic reasons, but it should probably be consistently applied. The parts about Psalm's thoughts might be able to remain present even if the actions are changed to past tense, though.
“There’s a new one,” the Headmaster says,
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized, "says" to "said" (unless moving all to present)
He says he’s sure I’ll find a family there.
"says" to "said"(unless moving all to present)
Those are the same words I’ve heard all my life. It’ll be cleaner. Newer. Brighter. I can’t imagine it. This dingy gray building is the world. It’s all I know. I can’t leave it. Perhaps I can stay after the Headmaster goes. Clean the floors. Keep it intact for unwanted things…
Still present tense, but I think its more likely to be okay here as part of Psalm's internal thoughts.
He tells me to pack; says he’ll return in a few hours to take me to the new orphanage. I am left all alone in the empty building. I walk the scrubbed, faded beige linoleum walkway. I peeked into the empty little bedrooms, bunk beds stripped of their mattresses and sheets. There’re a few old toys, broken things, sitting forlorn in the corners. I gathered them up in a blanket. I don’t know what I’ll do with them; nopony wants broken toys.
If keeping actions present tense, "peeked" should be "peek", "gathered" should be "gather"
She’d said to be patient. I imagined I could
only one space after period
“Please, Princess Luna… Please
should have second space after ellipsis or not capitalize second "Please."
disappear so that when the Headmaster returned, I’d be gone.
"Headmaster" shouldn't be capitalized
Slowly I looked up at the beautiful dusky dark shape of the princess of the night.
"princess of the night" should probably be capitalized
“I told you I’d come back.” Luna said softly
period should be comma
ever play with again. Time to look
only one space after period
“Should I call you… father?” I asked
"father" should, I think, be capitalized
“Why don’t you just call me ‘Teacher?’ It’s fitting.
question mark should be outside the quotation marks
a moment before asking. “Do you think I
only one space after period
For the first time since Cheddar had left, I felt a warmth return to me and Goldenblood smiled in quiet approval.
comma after "return to me"?
the idea of being to teleport on my own nearly
"being able to"
Harbingers were long gone. “How about Glory
only one space after period
“Oh you poor deluded little fool,”
comma after "Oh"?
Was there some poisonous strain of truth in the Goddess’s taunts; was Lacunae’s friendship false?
semicolon to comma, colon, or dash, I think
and I laid there a minute expectantly
"laid" should be "lay"
back and forth before me. “Once I’d added
only one space after period
As I laid there a minute later,
I laid on the bed, flipping through the book on beginner’s magic.
"laid" should be "lay"
I wondered if, if the zebras hadn’t attacked us, Equestria would have simply collapsed in its entirety? Without the Ministry Mares, would the Ministries stand?
Seems like this should specify that she means the megaspell attacks, since there were no ministries before the original zebra attacks and everything seemed fine-ish apart from the coal problem.
Project Partypooper, a conspiracy to eliminate everyone who would possess EC-1101.
"would" to "could"?
Something that made miracles work.
"made miracles happen" or "worked miracles"?
“With making full on augmentations?
"full-on" is hyphenated
They’ve got their own sources for everything; guns, food, potions.
semicolon to colon or dash?
goes on about a grand new future
extra space between "a" and "grand"
I’d told Bottlecap that I’d do something about Red Eye’s occupation of the Paradise mall,
"mall" should be capitalized
about herself and turned to re-enter the
"reenter" doesn't need a hyphen
“You promised not to get in trouble,“ Lacunae reminded me.
second quotation mark is in wrong direction
“Burners?” The mare asked as
"The" shouldn't be capitalized
I HUNGER!” the eldritch form howled as it
should have only one space after quotation
tripping over rusty mannequins and racing out half draped in filthy cloth.
"ponnequins"
and its forelegs –arms? – ended in hands.
symmetrical spacing about first dash
scraping his hooves across the floor for traction; his breath blasting out his wide nostrils.
semicolon to comma
I hefted a rusty mannequin, but it flew apart after one blow of his fist.
"ponnequin"
The next thing he hit was going to me at this rate.
"was going to be me"
Look mom, I’m a pegasus.
Should "mom" be capitalized?
I rose as high as I could on my rear legs as he surged forward like a rage-fueled tsunami and gripped the cake tightly.
I'd suggest reordering the sentence to:
I rose as high as I could on my rear legs and gripped the cake tightly as he surged forward like a rage-fueled tsunami.
For a second we both stood there, him panting hard, me pressed against the wall behind and him surrounded by a ring of rubble.
breaking up the part about Pain Train seems odd. Suggest rearranging, maybe:
For a second we both stood there, me pressed against the wall, him surrounded by a ring of rubble, panting hard.
I wished I could breathe the same; slow and continuous reparation just didn’t suit a fight like this.
"respiration"
After having three floors fall on him, he was still breathing, but even this cow monster was knocked cold.
"knocked out cold"?
There is ‘be kind,’ and then there’s ‘be stupid.’
comma, period to outside of quotation marks
I could learn... I... She gave the tiniest little whimper.
should have second space after second ellipsis or not capitalize "She"
I frowned; how’d I know to look for it? There was something about the rings
should have second space after quotation mark
“Follow me east, and we’ll get you-”
second hyphen (or dash) for dash
‘Contract of Servitude,’ they were titled.
comma to outside of quotation marks
our differences in size made me feel like mom was making sure I wasn’t going to run
"mom" should be capitalized
Fortunately, though, she both untied me and quieted down as we drew close to the skyport.
"skyport" should be capitalized
We’re no longer accepting salvage for food and medical servi–“
quotation mark is the wrong direction
I looked the pink mare in the eyes, “You came down here to
comma should be period
the Volunteer Corps apologises for this!”
"apologizes"
“You… she… I… You can’t come in!
should have second space after third ellipsis or not capitalize second "You"
It seemed the utter lack of fear I showed for their armament seemed to be throwing these Enclave a bit.
shouldn't have both "seemed," either
It seemed the utter lack of fear I showed for their armament was throwing these Enclave a bit.
or
The utter lack of fear I showed for their armament seemed to be throwing these Enclave a bit.
eliminate them showed on my face. Or maybe there was
only one space after period
“A Raptor. The Castellanus,”
"Castellanus" should be italicized
it passed right through. I looked at the buttons
only one space after period
Harbinger twisted his lips bitterly, and Storm Chaser seemed to concede the point
missing period
“There is also a question about how these.” General Chaser leaned forward and put a glass bottle on the table. I couldn’t see well, but the contents appeared to be some sort of mane clippings. “Ended up
quotations should end/start with dashes, maybe ellipses, "Ended" shouldn't be capitalized
breach by surfacer terrorists. For all we know,
only one space after period
I heard Harbinger making some sort of comments about ‘possibilities’,
"some sort of comment" or "some comments"?
weapons at me again. I passed Lacunae a warning to be ready to shield me as I grinned at them. “Nice armor. Nice guns, too,” I said calmly as I looked at their wingcovers. A telekinetic yank upwards as I passed forward, three shots from Vigilance right into the wingpit, sword out and slicing through the same weak point in the armor of the pegasus on the other side. Pivot around. Jump and grab the third with my fingers and ground him, then maybe finish them off.
Of course... if I’d actually done that, that would have been Trouble...
Wasn't her horn just dead on leaving the boutique? And later she describes her horn as "burned out" when two Enclave pegasi find her and Lacunae in the monitor room. How could she do combat-strength telekinesis/guns?
That wasn’t a problem. Between my fingers and our magic, we should be okay if something went bad.
Should probably be "Lacunae's magic"
“Lacunae!” I shouted as I heard the mare scream in
should have only one space after quotation
I was in no mood for reasonable. I wanted to sulk my weapons back into their holsters!
. . .
Still, sulking about it wouldn’t really help.
I kind of feel like maybe "really" should be italicized since she's not just thinking that it's unhelpful, but contrasting to her desire that it would help
“She took you over. Completely. Again
only one space after each period
“You make the mistake of thinking that I’m a person to be violated. I’m not. She has the power and took the opportunity. I imagine the Enervation was excruciating for her,” Lacunae replied laconically as she trotted along. “It must have taken a significant part of her focus to achieve it. Despite what you may think, she is not sloppy or careless when she... asserts herself.”
This doesn't seem like a response with particularly few words. An alternative adverb to "laconically" might be in order.
“Of course.” she replied,
period should be comma
wanting to return to its original owners... With just a little push, I
should have second space after ellipsis or not capitalize "With"
The thought of a goddess with humility and compassion thrilled me
"goddess" should be capitalized
I looked at her oddly. There was a
three spaces after period
Some ponies are just broken. Some ponies aren’t meant
Rampage sighed. “Are you going
“Maybe. I promised Homage I would
only one space after period
She didn’t have any weapons... “Those that do, though,
should have second space after ellipsis
Star House high on the hill. “Hopefully
only one space after period
be ready for tears. and make sure she can’t throw you
"and" should be capitalized
So rather than saying this was just for Scotch and her mark, I hastily made up a story of ‘cutie mark day.’
period to outside of quotation marks
Then the blue and magenta Adagio stood firm as the magenta and blue Allegro hopped on his back
until now I think Allegro has been rose and magenta, not magenta and blue
I expected you to put in an appearance at the skyport.
The skyport had been fortified, but I didn’t see armies of Enclave ready to take over the Wasteland.
The skyport had been fortified, but I didn’t see armies of Enclave ready to take over the Wasteland.
"skyport" should be capitalized
- Other Editing:
We’re trying to assist by providing food and clothing to the locals around the skyport.
The Steel Rangers in particular have attacked us at the skyport.
"skyport" should be capitalized
5:
I’m pretty sure that if we got to the skyport,
“I’m… just a little unsure of how you get to the skyport from here though.
"skyport" should be capitalized
13:
Once we rescued P-21, I’d walk her right to the skyport if she wanted, but I had to get her away from Operative Lighthooves.
“The operative took our flight pass, so we’ll have to head to the skyport.”
"skyport" should be capitalized
15:
This was a full on competitor.
"full-on" is hyphenated
20:
past all the Enclave at the skyport OR sneak past Paradise,
"skyport" should be capitalized
27:
I could simply back away, go around, and get to the skyport to help the one pony that did need my help.
Behind the sergeant flashed a dozen screens showing various sections of the skyport.
“I can’t believe there wasn’t anything she could do for her,” P-21 muttered as we left the skyport.
"skyport" should be capitalized
29:
had dressed up some yellowed mannequins in studded bondage gear.
‘Cause that was what passed for humor in the Wasteland. A mannequin in a leather gimp suit…
but she was more interested in the mannequins.
"ponnequin(s)"
32:
At least it wasn’t a full on blow-off-my-hooves explosion.
"full-on" is hyphenated
47:
She was princess of the night, and like the night, she was ever-changing and inscrutable.
"Princess of the Night"
49:
“Only if you want a full on revolution on your hooves, led by Twilight and her friends.
"full-on" is hyphenated
“Tia!” Luna cried out, but there was a flash of golden light, and the Princess of the night let out a sob.
"night" should be capitalized
52:
“Well, after the meeting at the skyport, Sky Striker decided he was going to find out what was going on himself.
"skyport" should be capitalized
She was in critical condition, and the Castellanus was closer than the Skyport, so...
As for Dusk, she was unconscious in the Castellanus’s med bay last I saw her,
"Castellanus" should be italicized
54:
Scotch Tape asked curiously as she perched uneasily atop Deus’ turret. Given that Luna was princess of the night, I could only imagine…
"Deus's", "Princess of the Night"
55:
My plan B involves going to the skyport and trying to smuggle ourselves on a Vertibuck.
"skyport" should be capitalized
“You’re here for that? The Fleur? Oh my, the gossipmongers will be so disappointed.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll inform Grace that the Fleur is to be made ready for flight again.
"Fleur" should be italicized
56:
readying the Fleur for our eventual departure.
"Fleur" should be italicized
57:
In the morning, you leave in the Fleur, and we’ll deal with the repercussions,
"Fleur" should be italicized
58:
she said as she walked to the rail of the Fleur and
"Fleur" should be italicized
59:
implacable wall in the sky, Castellanus painted in imposing stenciled letters
In this case, should it be not-italicized and instead in single-quotes?
If they get a return off the Fleur,
"Fleur" should be italicized
“They could not detect our Tempest,” Lancer sneered at her.
should "Tempest" be italicized? I guess it probably isn't a ship, but it's right there, so doesn't hurt to ask
brahmin, approaching the Fleur with dull curiosity.
"Fleur" should be italicized
62.1:
One touched the Castellanus, making the ship quake under my hooves.
"Castellanus" should be italicized
“Which wouldn’t stop Blizzard and the other Raptors,” Storm Chaser answered smoothly.
"Blizzard" should be italicized
Hum. Computers do strange things sometimes…Icy Shake wrote:Oh, and O. Hinds, I found out what went wrong last time with all the false positives for italicization: Nallar's HTML pulls in some, maybe most, italics, but not all of them. That's the first time I've seen it have that sort of problem, barring of course recent edits.
I don't think so.Icy Shake wrote:should "Tempest" be italicized?
I don't see that, sorry.Icy Shake wrote:I kind of feel like maybe "really" should be italicized since she's not just thinking that it's unhelpful, but contrasting to her desire that it would help
Well, in my headcanon, at least, it's 2015 Pax Roamana, 211 Luna, 0 Sunshine and Rainbows, and 200 Elusive. The 211 Luna is probably the only one that applies within PH, though.Icy Shake wrote:whatever the hell year it is
…Now I'm curious.Icy Shake wrote:Man, I feel bad about what I was thinking as I read this.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Mon Aug 18, 2014 7:35 pm
For easier reference:O. Hinds wrote:…Now I'm curious.Icy Shake wrote:Man, I feel bad about what I was thinking as I read this.
Swap in "my" for "the" and make one other letter change.Chapter Fifty One wrote:I didn’t waste any time as I charged, swinging the heavy disk as hard as I could.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Tue Aug 19, 2014 1:36 am
...Oh.
Yes, well, Blackjack's been going through a lot of changes, certainly, but I don't think that that one is among them. :)
Yes, well, Blackjack's been going through a lot of changes, certainly, but I don't think that that one is among them. :)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:38 am
Victory by any means necessary? She'll change if it'll help
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Harmony Ltd. Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:06 am
P-21 is going to love her even more. 
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:33 am
I wonder if he's ever fantasized about her eye tentacles...
"Why are you looking at my...oh god what are you...oh myyyyy"
"Why are you looking at my...oh god what are you...oh myyyyy"
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Derpmind Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:28 pm
Somber posted the fifth and newest chapter of Broken Accords, and it has the most hardcore version of the Hearthswarming story I've ever seen. To really summarize hard, not only were Wendigos around, the three tribes were falling into all out war with super-weapons like necromancy, lightning constructs, and seeds (perhaps the most terrifying) tearing the old country to pieces when Equestria came about. It's seriously dark backstory stuff, and the rest of the story's (obviously) really great so far. Go read it already!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:38 am
I'm sorry, everyone. I really wish I'd been able to focus on chapter 70. I hoped to be able to grind it out. I couldn't. Had to take a cymbalta, which nukes my creativity (as well as many other things. The fun of SSRI's.) and since I'm going to be gone weekend after next... sigh...
I'm just sorry.
I'm just sorry.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:30 am
*hugs very gently* I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling so badly... Please just try to take care of yourself, sir.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by JadedPony Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:09 am
Somber wrote:I'm sorry, everyone. I really wish I'd been able to focus on chapter 70. I hoped to be able to grind it out. I couldn't. Had to take a cymbalta, which nukes my creativity (as well as many other things. The fun of SSRI's.) and since I'm going to be gone weekend after next... sigh...
I'm just sorry.
No worries! Your dastardly deep, dreadfully deceptive, daringly delightful, descriptive drama is worth the wait! :)
Be careful with Cymbalta, if it's killing your drive to write it's also most likely impeding your sex drive which is a sign that it's raising your blood pressure. If you know anyone who can check your blood pressure, you should get it checked and watch your sodium levels. Cymbalta and products like it can cause cravings for things like Ramen noodles and other foods which are high in sodium. Of course this compounds the high blood pressure problem. Pretty much you should never eat anything made out of those ramen noodle like products while on any kind of mood altering medication.
Word of advice from someone who has hereditary high blood pressure: Put a plastic drinking glass in your bathroom, upside down, on a washcloth. Every time you pee, drink a glass of water. As long as you store the glass upside down and not mouth open, it's sanitary.
You will lose weight, you will feel better, you will look better, your drives will improve, your skin will be better. Really, everyone should do it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:22 am
Or better yet, beer!JadedPony wrote:Every time you pee, drink a glass of water.
...Blackjack suggests whiskey, but I'm not sure about that.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:39 am
I'm not sure about beer either
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Harmony Ltd. Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:02 am
I don't think recommending alcohol to someone under mood-altering drugs is a really recommended thing. You know, risks of bad interactions and all the possible consequences.
Anyway, hope you get better Somber. Shitty situation you're in, but I'm confident you'll overcome it.
Still need to read your new story, by the way. Need to find some time to do it...
Anyway, hope you get better Somber. Shitty situation you're in, but I'm confident you'll overcome it.
Still need to read your new story, by the way. Need to find some time to do it...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:18 am
I'm enjoying Broken Accords
I like the idea that pegasus eat static electricity
I like the idea that pegasus eat static electricity
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by JadedPony Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:20 pm
Link for Broken Records? I'm at lunch from work so I shouldn't go internet delving too much. I hardly think the boss would approve if he sees me looking up stories with pony in the results. He thinks all men should be manly men who like manly things like cars which are shaped like women! Because that's how you attract straight women, by buying the most lesbian car possible, right?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vinylshadow Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:35 pm
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/204342/broken-accords
The most lesbian car possible....
The most lesbian car possible....
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by JadedPony Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:33 pm
Ah! thanks for the link. I'm starting the story now!
Re: The most lesbian car possible....
This is the kind of car that my boss drives. Like every day. He calls it his second wife.
1973 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray
Re: The most lesbian car possible....
This is the kind of car that my boss drives. Like every day. He calls it his second wife.
1973 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Rayndalf Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:50 pm
Is that why I find it so alluring?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:14 pm
Harmony Ltd. wrote:I don't think recommending alcohol to someone under mood-altering drugs is a really recommended thing. You know, risks of bad interactions and all the possible consequences.
I don't think guzzling large quantities of alcohol in general is recommended.
Is THAT what those bumps over the front wheels are?JadedPony wrote:This is the kind of car that my boss drives. Like every day. He calls it his second wife.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by RoboRed Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:35 am
Hang in there, Somber.
I, on the other hand, have a total boner right now for the Corvette C7. Especially the C7.R.
JadedPony wrote:
Re: The most lesbian car possible....
This is the kind of car that my boss drives. Like every day. He calls it his second wife.
1973 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray
Classic Stingray is a great car that everyone should love.Rayndalf wrote:Is that why I find it so alluring?
I, on the other hand, have a total boner right now for the Corvette C7. Especially the C7.R.
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