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In Her Arms

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In Her Arms Empty In Her Arms

Post by Flying Ace: Comet Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:31 am

Just a story I've currently been working on. No, it is not about lesbians for your info. It is a quite awesome story so far, I think. Tell me your guy's opinoins though! Still in progress.
-Silence <3

Spoiler:


Last edited by Silence on Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:08 pm; edited 2 times in total
Flying Ace: Comet
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Post by Moonlight Tue Jan 24, 2012 9:01 am

First off, wow. Very good in terms of plot and organization. However, as I read through it, I noticed a number of typos such as oink instead of pink, there was perhaps a little too repetitive at times, and once or twice there was a plot error (eg Pinkie walking into the hospital and seeing her five friends, when it should only be four without Twilight.)
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Post by Flying Ace: Comet Tue Jan 24, 2012 4:13 pm

Oh, true haha (x Sorry, I'll fix them. And as for typos, I have to go through and fix them since I don't have word (x Thanks for the pointers! (:
-Silence <3
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Post by Sky Cloud Tue Jan 24, 2012 4:42 pm

really nice!
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Post by Moonlight Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:06 pm

Silence wrote:Oh, true haha (x Sorry, I'll fix them. And as for typos, I have to go through and fix them since I don't have word (x Thanks for the pointers! (:
-Silence <3

No problem :)
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Post by Flying Ace: Comet Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:09 pm

Two chapters added today, wrote them during school. I like them a lot, personally, because I've used some actual experiences of mine to write them. Hope you enjoy!
-Silence <3
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Post by Moonlight Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:18 pm

2 things about the 2 chapters. This is definitely NOT canon Pinkie, but your formatting has improved, I noticed significantly fewer errors and typos and such. Also, is it even possible for a story like this to come to a conclusive end?
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Post by Flying Ace: Comet Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:24 pm

Haha, ultimately, yes. A happy end, however, does not exist in this story. I can assure you this will be a quite morbid tale.
-Silence <3
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Post by Moonlight Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:29 pm

Oh, lovely haha :P as much as I realize the anti realism of happy endings, I still think it shouldn't be all bad. A proper balance must in some way be maintained
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Post by Flying Ace: Comet Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:32 pm

That I understand. For every negative, some positives must come intoo place to reduce the darkness that clouds the pictures the story paints. I intend to brighten things up with Rainbow's and Pinkie's new relationship. Hope anybody who read will like it (:
-Silence <3
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