Welcome to Cloudsville. If you're new, don't forget to sign up and say hi in the Introduction forum.

[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Page 32 of 34 Previous  1 ... 17 ... 31, 32, 33, 34  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Luminous Lead on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:49 am

Ironmonger wrote:I think it would be cool if Deus came back and aided Blackjack somehow. I envisioned him as looking a lot like a Land Raider with a main turret. Also, he would have to be pretty slow given it took him a while to actually catch blackjack. At least I think so, I'm tired and not thinking straight.

Well Twistpage did mention that Tanks don't do well alone. Would be cool if he became the team car. I can just imagine the horn: "Kkhhhunnnnnt... Khuuuunt!"

Luminous Lead
Earth Pony

Posts : 116
Brohoof! : 21
Join date : 2012-09-23

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Luminous%20Lead

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Admiral Stoic Rum on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:54 am

yes blow off the tread and it won't regrow it...
avatar
Admiral Stoic Rum
Alicorn

Posts : 4178
Brohoof! : 83
Join date : 2012-05-19
Age : 30
Location : Houston, TX

Character List:
Name: Dr. Painkiller
Sex: Male
Species: Pony

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:54 am

Luminous Lead wrote:Well Twistpage did mention that Tanks don't do well alone. Would be cool if he became the team car. I can just imagine the horn: "Kkhhhunnnnnt... Khuuuunt!"
I wonder what the bumper sticker would say.
avatar
CannonFodder
Unicorn

Posts : 328
Brohoof! : 5
Join date : 2012-11-05

http://cf6.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:57 am

...I really could see him teaming up with them as a transport or something, blackjack gave him something to think about. Plus if they are going to be killing Cognitum then they will need some heavy firepower. Sadly I predict Deus dying in the assault.

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:58 am

Icy Shake wrote:Well, I'm not quite as late to this party as I'd originally thought. As, ever, it seems my formatting has been tortured to the point of unrecognizability, so I'm sorry for that. Anyway, let's go.

running commentary:


It’s interesting to see Blackjack fighting more
effectively against her self-recriminating impulses. I think it is probably a
welcome change, but we’ll see.



On leaving EC-1101, I guess I can see the appeal,
but of course I expect it won’t happen.



“Sweet
Celestia, P-21, fuck whatever I want! What I’ve wanted has been a fucking
disaster. What about what you want? You want to stay with Scotch
Tape. Say I’m wrong. Glory deserves a little attention and
stability. Rampage needs help more than me. Fuck my
Goddesses-damned quest!”






I also get where P-21 is coming from; it’s been
clear from day one that Blackjack was unsuited to a predictable, stable life.
And I cannot help but imagine that beyond that issue, she would have trouble
living with the idea that she should just maintain quality of life in one
place, when there is so much Wasteland where things are still terrible. Maybe
that’s not quite the case, and she’d be fine leaving poor enough alone as long
as she wasn’t there to see or hear about it, but that doesn’t ring true to me.



They were calmer, softer. If 99 had
been different… if so many things had been different…



Blackjack,
you don’t need quadrant vacillation here; BJ<>P-21 is great, and you don’t
need to go thinking about what might have been, particularly considering your
recent issues with Glory.



P-21
frowned, seeming lost in thought before he slowly nodded. “Yeah…”



Okay. I see two things that could mean here. The
less fun one is basically a sigh in response to how obvious it is that BJ
wouldn’t have been happy dropping the quest. The more fun, natch, is that he’s
figured out Dawn. Or, duh, the memory modification. I suppose I never suspected
it would be related to Horizons. But damn
if it was.



“Priest. Stronghoof. U-21.
Calamity,”



Did he have a crush on Prince Who’s-it, too, or was
that just Blackjack?



“I don’t like mares. Most are whining,
chatty, hypocritical, and just plain crazy. With the exception of Scotch
Tape and… I just don’t like them!”



Aaannd everypony is lesbians.


The memory orb is great. I think that might be the
first time I remember there being an orb of someone so close. Everything holds
together well in it, it neatly finishes tying up some loose ends, and seeing
the depth of concern Blackjack’s friends have for her—directly, unfiltered—was nice.



So I
travelled far and wide in search of anypony who could bring order to the world.



It’s not like anyone trusted her at this point, but
order and peace aren’t the same thing.



Eventually, EC-1101 will conclude that Luna
has been deposed and fire Horizons. When that happens, the Wasteland,
perhaps the world, will be destroyed.



So, I just don’t buy this. Nor should anyone who’s
familiar with doomsday devices, MAD/CARE, or at least seen Dr. Strangelove. Project Horizons, if this is what it is, could not
possibly achieve its goal. Sure, destroying the world would put an end to a Ministry coup
d’état
, but what’s the point in that? No, to be effective, you need to tell those you wish to intimidate that
you have the doomsday device—at least once it’s operational. What’s more,
Equestria already had megaspells available. If you needed something like this,
wouldn’t it be easier simply to hide, say, balefire bombs under Luna’s direct
control in various locations around Equestria (and who knows, maybe that’s all
it amounts to, but that just doesn’t seem like that big of a project).



I
frowned; something about this was off. Goldenblood had been paranoid, no
doubt about that. He’d done everything he could to ensure that Luna had
remained in power. He’d manipulated the ministries and the entire kingdom
for her. But if Luna was deposed or killed… why blow everything up?
Some sort of vengeance? It couldn’t have worked as a deterrent
because nopony knew about it. I looked at the gray pegasus with a long
frown. If this Cognitum had lied to Dawn, there was only one way to
figure out the truth.



Never mind. Looks like BJ is on the case.


“I need to meet her,” I said sullenly.


Holy mother fuck that’s retarded. You think so
yourself—you were all over that with respect to Dawn herself! We’ve been over
this, Blackjack: you think, then you
speak. I hope I’m missing some element of her ingenious plan.



“Would it
help if you could get revenge on him for what he did to you and your friends?”



An intriguing offer, but I’d like to think not one
Blackjack would find worthy of a nibble. She’s rarely seemed to be about
revenge, and never, that I can recall, in cold blood such as this, with the
possible exception of Lighthooves.



“Unfortunately, a certain measure has been
taken to ensure that I cannot betray Cognitum or her prophet.”



I think I know where this is going. And I doubt that
Blackjack would approve of such measures in general, much less directed at
herself.



“If you
like, I can kill him now. Or maim him. Or simply exile him with a
command that the kill implant goes off if he uses any technology more advanced
than a can opener,” Dawn said evenly, her smile returning and the purple
stallion’s gentle features growing resigned as he sighed. “Consider it a
repayment for following bad advice.”



You know, where good governance is present
responsibility flows to the top. Sure, Steel Rain’s bad, but I don’t really see
where he was giving false counsel—and what counsel he gave was under duress, at
that; this is all on Dawn.



Dawn
frowned for a second, then brightened. “Oh. I understand. You
want to do it yourself. Well, I can give you the kill command just as
soon as–”



Aaaannndd it’s gone. All gone. She clearly has no
understanding of Blackjack, and is probably at this point a psychopath to boot.
Show’s over; we’re done here; move along.



The fact she’d been willing to kill him, at
all, for her mistake in believing him convinced me that the Harbingers weren’t
the Wasteland’s final solution.



But it’s sounding ever more like they may be its
Final Solution.



“What other choice have you given me?” Dawn
replied quietly, her mane obstructing her face. “Trying to take it by
force has failed. Trying to negotiate has failed as well.”



Blackjack: “Open command prompt as administrator.”


C:>FORMAT/U_


Turning to Dawn, “Try me.”


“Really?
Because I’ve been listening to your conversation since you left Chapel.”
He lifted his head and then turned it to show some kind of earphone
thing. “I’ve been a big fan of Radio Blackjack.” Then he suddenly
smirked. “Champion in bed? Really? That freak?”



P-21, you magnificent bastard. Thank the Sisters
there’s someone who is a smart pony to take care of business.



“I’ve learned that with Blackjack it is
better to be safe than sorry,” Steel Rain said in worry as he scanned the
night, no doubt using his EFS. He looked back at me with a warm smile. “I
don’t want to underestimate her again. Her friends have a disturbing
tendency to rescue her at inopportune moments.”



Of course, the thing to do here would be to cap her
before she can react to a change in EFS, and run off with the PipBuck before
the cavalry arrives. I expect the surprise teleportation may show up soon.



None will war when the consequence is
immediate execution.



Hey, I remember someone else coming up with that
idea. I just wish I could remember who it was, and how it worked out!



“Killing
foals, Mother? Using a tank against foals and Blackjack?” Glory shrieked.
“Are you mad?!”



I can has matricide? Pls?


…Enter the Dragonfilly, taking the save! Yeah!


I watched in shock as the red and blue colts
Adagio and Allegro raced up and dropped Octavia sideways before them and the
three colts from the watchtower tossed their light machine gun across the
instrument’s body. Anti-machine rounds whined and sparked off the
instrument’s indestructible body as the machine gun opened up a chattering line
of fire into the Harbingers.



Rarity got what she wanted. Kind of. Anyway, this is
just great.



I could at least respect that, but I reached
up with my fingers and relieved her of the 12.7mm SMG before she accidentally
shot somepony on our side... like me.



Yeah, we don’t need another one just now. And there’s
already angst aplenty.



“Hey, Twisty?” Boomer said as he pointed at
the wall. “Didn’t she say there was–”



Okay, so it looks like Boomer’s the one who keeps
his eyes on the prize.



“Here,”
Lightning Dancer said as she dug into her saddlebags and dumped my weapons out
onto the rooftop beside me. I saw the sword, and my life suddenly became
a lot better. It might not have been a ripper, but it would do for a can
opener.



So far my favorite reunion for the chapter. Okay,
maybe not really, but still.



editing matters:


With a deftness that shocked me, he wound his
mane around the remaining needle and hid it in his wiry blue hair.



“needle, hiding it in his wiry blue hair.”


The child she and Big Macintosh had conceived
together had been passed to Marigold after his assassination.



Calling it Mac’s assassination seems a little odd to
me, but probably is not wrong.



Not
perfect –certainly not– but trying to do better.



Not perfect – certainly not – but trying to do
better. Spaces before the “c” and after the “t” needed.



“I don’t
think–” I began.



“Thanks,
but–“



I believe that should be an em-dash (—) to indicate her
speech was cut off, not an en-dash (–).



In the area around the start of the conversation
with Dawn, there might be an overuse of ellipses.



Maybe it had some version of an E.F.S.


You mostly seem to use simply “EFS”. Or is there a
difference between “EFS” for ponies, and “E.F.S.” for armor? And just to be
clear, EFS is now a system Blackjack has independent of the PipBuck, right? But
threat detection is still incorporated with the PipBuck, not the cyberpony
systems.



You can. It’s in your blood,”


Needs opening quotation mark.


I didn’t really see this as much of an
improvement; If the thing had an E.F.S. then we were seven pretty obvious red
bars.



“If”, following the semicolon, shouldn’t be
capitalized. E.F.S. again, if applicable.



“Those spark bombs should jam it’s E.F.S for
a little bit.”



“It’s” should be “its”. I’m now really feeling like
there is a difference between the ee-eff-esses.



Tanks should get a special E.F.S. bar!


Okay, context suggests she’s talking about the bar
in her own EFS.



Just like me, she knew wshe didn’t deserve
happiness.



“knew she”


And for an instant she smiled ,and I knew it
was over.



“smiled, and”


The roof erupted beneath me, and then world
fell out in a roaring avalanche of stone and beams.



“and the world”, I think.


The elegant room hadn’t been picked over as
much as the rest of the manor. The white marble floor hadn’t been torn
out, and the elegant pillars still had their golden carvings of unicorns.



This is just a matter of taste, but two “elegants”
in as many sentences may be a little much. Maybe a synonym?



Still the machine guns fired wildly as the
tank turret swung around towards me.



It’s probably nothing, but “tank’s turret” or just “turret”
just feel better to me.



Felt the line between flesh and blood grow
more acute.



I’m not sure I follow this, if it’s supposed to be
as written. “Flesh and blood” is a phrase I normally think of as a single item;
should it be something along the lines of “between flesh-and-blood and metal”?
Or was it conceptually something else?



Would he blast me to pieces? machine
gun me apart? Crush me beneath his treads?



“Machine” should be capitalized.


overall thoughts:




On the whole, I really enjoyed this chapter. I have
to say that the transitions were done very well; the pacing flowed nicely from
down-time to plot developing flashback to creepy dialogue to hostage
negotiation to pitched battle.



I believe that the memory orb was well done. Everyone acted appropriately, and it was interesting to see how they behave when Blackjack isn’t around and won’t hear what they say. Seeing more of Glory’s concern, in particular, was meaningful to me—it was good to see how she was reacting even before the big split. The politicking was natural, and I almost wish we could see a little more of that sort of thing in the present; impersonal tension without violence is a little less common in PH. As was covered in the story, they made all the right calls, as far as I can tell, so nothing sticks out in that way.




I will confess, though, that bi? P-21 caught me off
guard—for most of it, it seemed more like BJ was reading something into his
words that probably wasn’t there, but then there was his litany of crushes, so
I don’t know. I suppose it could make sense, in that he was always just
suppressing any feelings of attraction towards mares, but as I said in the
running commentary, they always (at least in BJ’s second go at life) seemed
more like super BFFs than ponies between whom there was traditional romantic
tension. Again, maybe it’s just a POV issue.




Moving on—good on BJ for catching the sketch all over Dawn’s invitation to talk alone. It caught me a little off-guard, how poorly Dawn did at reading Blackjack, and at maintaining any level of non-evil even before the ultimatum. (On a side note, I can’t help but think that “salvation” doesn’t seem much like a virtue to me, much like “friendship” isn’t an emotion—but then again “magic” is apparently a virtue, so I guess FoE-verse just plays a little fast and loose with the word.) Anyway, we have our nice Empire double-shot, just with the order reversed: first we get to see the “join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son” moment, then the swamp-vision of what she could become/the twisted version of herself. Anyway, getting more info has been good, but I’m not sure that there were any world-shattering revelations. And as far as I’m concerned—and Blackjack, too, it seems—we know no more about Horizons than we did before.




The fight was strong, mostly. All of the entrences
were good, and it was a lot of fun to see Chapel stand for itself. Precious, in
particular, was great, as was the use of Octavia. The stuff with the pegasi
went well, with the exception with the lampshaded fact that it broke the flow
of the battle. The murder of Sky Striker, surrounded as it was by the melee,
didn’t have the impact it might have, but I trust we’ll feel it more after the
battle, in chapter fifty three. Regarding the post-chapter note: I can’t quite
say how I feel about it. The tank battle felt fine—it seemed mostly plausible
within the scope of PH, except perhaps the outrunning machine gun fire up the
stairs (which was dumb even in the source material—I mean really, it’s just the
nature of geometry that that doesn’t exactly hold up). The problem is that I
tend to feel better about lighter nods to other IP—I liked Stronghoof, for
instance, but felt he stuck out too much for my taste, that he was too close,
too obvious—and while the action pretty closely matching the climax of the
anime was fine, if I remembered the particulars of the movie better, especially
as it would have related to the end of Deus.




On that note, I thought that Deus was handled wonderfully. At this point, he really seems like he’d have nothing left but perhaps revenge against BJ to keep himself going, and her emotional appeal was just the suasion that should work on him. It wrapped up his character arc perfectly, while giving BJ some more closure on that chapter of her experience.

And, because why not, happy (U.S.) Thanksgiving, PHCC.

Thank you for your error spotting. The chapter is full at the moment, but I've started a new list.
More Detailed Reply:
""With a deftness that shocked me, he wound his
mane around the remaining needle and hid it in his wiry blue hair.


“needle, hiding it in his wiry blue hair.” "
I'm not really sure what the problem you see in the current version is.

I'm afraid that you'll likely have to put up with the apparently malformed em dashes, as Bronode is the one who handles them.

"And just to be
clear, EFS is now a system Blackjack has independent of the PipBuck, right? But
threat detection is still incorporated with the PipBuck, not the cyberpony
systems.
"
Yes; the EFS is technically just the display.

Also, the EFS/E.F.S. thing is just a case of us being inconsistent.


avatar
O. Hinds
Zebra Engineer

Posts : 4850
Brohoof! : 382
Join date : 2012-05-09

Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:59 am

CannonFodder wrote:
Luminous Lead wrote:Well Twistpage did mention that Tanks don't do well alone. Would be cool if he became the team car. I can just imagine the horn: "Kkhhhunnnnnt... Khuuuunt!"
I wonder what the bumper sticker would say.

"Knock Knock"

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:03 am

Ironmonger wrote:
CannonFodder wrote:
Luminous Lead wrote:Well Twistpage did mention that Tanks don't do well alone. Would be cool if he became the team car. I can just imagine the horn: "Kkhhhunnnnnt... Khuuuunt!"
I wonder what the bumper sticker would say.

"Knock Knock"
"How's my driving?"
"If you can read this sticker it hurts me more than it hurts you. Okay that's a lie, but still washing off squashed pony is a pain"
"Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?"
"Smile for the birdie"
"Take your picture. Cost: An arm and a leg"
avatar
CannonFodder
Unicorn

Posts : 328
Brohoof! : 5
Join date : 2012-11-05

http://cf6.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:05 am

CannonFodder wrote:
Ironmonger wrote:
CannonFodder wrote:
Luminous Lead wrote:Well Twistpage did mention that Tanks don't do well alone. Would be cool if he became the team car. I can just imagine the horn: "Kkhhhunnnnnt... Khuuuunt!"
I wonder what the bumper sticker would say.

"Knock Knock"
"How's my driving?"
"If you can read this sticker it hurts me more than it hurts you. Okay that's a lie, but still washing off squashed pony is a pain"
"Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?"
"Smile for the birdie"
"Take your picture. Cost: An arm and a leg"

Crushing Victory

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:20 am

Ironmonger wrote:
CannonFodder wrote:
Ironmonger wrote:
CannonFodder wrote:
Luminous Lead wrote:Well Twistpage did mention that Tanks don't do well alone. Would be cool if he became the team car. I can just imagine the horn: "Kkhhhunnnnnt... Khuuuunt!"
I wonder what the bumper sticker would say.

"Knock Knock"
"How's my driving?"
"If you can read this sticker it hurts me more than it hurts you. Okay that's a lie, but still washing off squashed pony is a pain"
"Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?"
"Smile for the birdie"
"Take your picture. Cost: An arm and a leg"

Crushing Victory
"Three reapers one tank"
"My other car is a alicorn"
"Tanks? You're welcome"
"This tank gets 1 mile to the a**kicking and we need to refill"
avatar
CannonFodder
Unicorn

Posts : 328
Brohoof! : 5
Join date : 2012-11-05

http://cf6.deviantart.com

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:46 am

O. Hinds wrote:
Icy Shake wrote:Well, I'm not quite as late to this party as I'd originally thought. As, ever, it seems my formatting has been tortured to the point of unrecognizability, so I'm sorry for that. Anyway, let's go.

running commentary:


It’s interesting to see Blackjack fighting more
effectively against her self-recriminating impulses. I think it is probably a
welcome change, but we’ll see.



On leaving EC-1101, I guess I can see the appeal,
but of course I expect it won’t happen.



“Sweet
Celestia, P-21, fuck whatever I want! What I’ve wanted has been a fucking
disaster. What about what you want? You want to stay with Scotch
Tape. Say I’m wrong. Glory deserves a little attention and
stability. Rampage needs help more than me. Fuck my
Goddesses-damned quest!”






I also get where P-21 is coming from; it’s been
clear from day one that Blackjack was unsuited to a predictable, stable life.
And I cannot help but imagine that beyond that issue, she would have trouble
living with the idea that she should just maintain quality of life in one
place, when there is so much Wasteland where things are still terrible. Maybe
that’s not quite the case, and she’d be fine leaving poor enough alone as long
as she wasn’t there to see or hear about it, but that doesn’t ring true to me.



They were calmer, softer. If 99 had
been different… if so many things had been different…



Blackjack,
you don’t need quadrant vacillation here; BJ<>P-21 is great, and you don’t
need to go thinking about what might have been, particularly considering your
recent issues with Glory.



P-21
frowned, seeming lost in thought before he slowly nodded. “Yeah…”



Okay. I see two things that could mean here. The
less fun one is basically a sigh in response to how obvious it is that BJ
wouldn’t have been happy dropping the quest. The more fun, natch, is that he’s
figured out Dawn. Or, duh, the memory modification. I suppose I never suspected
it would be related to Horizons. But damn
if it was.



“Priest. Stronghoof. U-21.
Calamity,”



Did he have a crush on Prince Who’s-it, too, or was
that just Blackjack?



“I don’t like mares. Most are whining,
chatty, hypocritical, and just plain crazy. With the exception of Scotch
Tape and… I just don’t like them!”



Aaannd everypony is lesbians.


The memory orb is great. I think that might be the
first time I remember there being an orb of someone so close. Everything holds
together well in it, it neatly finishes tying up some loose ends, and seeing
the depth of concern Blackjack’s friends have for her—directly, unfiltered—was nice.



So I
travelled far and wide in search of anypony who could bring order to the world.



It’s not like anyone trusted her at this point, but
order and peace aren’t the same thing.



Eventually, EC-1101 will conclude that Luna
has been deposed and fire Horizons. When that happens, the Wasteland,
perhaps the world, will be destroyed.



So, I just don’t buy this. Nor should anyone who’s
familiar with doomsday devices, MAD/CARE, or at least seen Dr. Strangelove. Project Horizons, if this is what it is, could not
possibly achieve its goal. Sure, destroying the world would put an end to a Ministry coup
d’état
, but what’s the point in that? No, to be effective, you need to tell those you wish to intimidate that
you have the doomsday device—at least once it’s operational. What’s more,
Equestria already had megaspells available. If you needed something like this,
wouldn’t it be easier simply to hide, say, balefire bombs under Luna’s direct
control in various locations around Equestria (and who knows, maybe that’s all
it amounts to, but that just doesn’t seem like that big of a project).



I
frowned; something about this was off. Goldenblood had been paranoid, no
doubt about that. He’d done everything he could to ensure that Luna had
remained in power. He’d manipulated the ministries and the entire kingdom
for her. But if Luna was deposed or killed… why blow everything up?
Some sort of vengeance? It couldn’t have worked as a deterrent
because nopony knew about it. I looked at the gray pegasus with a long
frown. If this Cognitum had lied to Dawn, there was only one way to
figure out the truth.



Never mind. Looks like BJ is on the case.


“I need to meet her,” I said sullenly.


Holy mother fuck that’s retarded. You think so
yourself—you were all over that with respect to Dawn herself! We’ve been over
this, Blackjack: you think, then you
speak. I hope I’m missing some element of her ingenious plan.



“Would it
help if you could get revenge on him for what he did to you and your friends?”



An intriguing offer, but I’d like to think not one
Blackjack would find worthy of a nibble. She’s rarely seemed to be about
revenge, and never, that I can recall, in cold blood such as this, with the
possible exception of Lighthooves.



“Unfortunately, a certain measure has been
taken to ensure that I cannot betray Cognitum or her prophet.”



I think I know where this is going. And I doubt that
Blackjack would approve of such measures in general, much less directed at
herself.



“If you
like, I can kill him now. Or maim him. Or simply exile him with a
command that the kill implant goes off if he uses any technology more advanced
than a can opener,” Dawn said evenly, her smile returning and the purple
stallion’s gentle features growing resigned as he sighed. “Consider it a
repayment for following bad advice.”



You know, where good governance is present
responsibility flows to the top. Sure, Steel Rain’s bad, but I don’t really see
where he was giving false counsel—and what counsel he gave was under duress, at
that; this is all on Dawn.



Dawn
frowned for a second, then brightened. “Oh. I understand. You
want to do it yourself. Well, I can give you the kill command just as
soon as–”



Aaaannndd it’s gone. All gone. She clearly has no
understanding of Blackjack, and is probably at this point a psychopath to boot.
Show’s over; we’re done here; move along.



The fact she’d been willing to kill him, at
all, for her mistake in believing him convinced me that the Harbingers weren’t
the Wasteland’s final solution.



But it’s sounding ever more like they may be its
Final Solution.



“What other choice have you given me?” Dawn
replied quietly, her mane obstructing her face. “Trying to take it by
force has failed. Trying to negotiate has failed as well.”



Blackjack: “Open command prompt as administrator.”


C:>FORMAT/U_


Turning to Dawn, “Try me.”


“Really?
Because I’ve been listening to your conversation since you left Chapel.”
He lifted his head and then turned it to show some kind of earphone
thing. “I’ve been a big fan of Radio Blackjack.” Then he suddenly
smirked. “Champion in bed? Really? That freak?”



P-21, you magnificent bastard. Thank the Sisters
there’s someone who is a smart pony to take care of business.



“I’ve learned that with Blackjack it is
better to be safe than sorry,” Steel Rain said in worry as he scanned the
night, no doubt using his EFS. He looked back at me with a warm smile. “I
don’t want to underestimate her again. Her friends have a disturbing
tendency to rescue her at inopportune moments.”



Of course, the thing to do here would be to cap her
before she can react to a change in EFS, and run off with the PipBuck before
the cavalry arrives. I expect the surprise teleportation may show up soon.



None will war when the consequence is
immediate execution.



Hey, I remember someone else coming up with that
idea. I just wish I could remember who it was, and how it worked out!



“Killing
foals, Mother? Using a tank against foals and Blackjack?” Glory shrieked.
“Are you mad?!”



I can has matricide? Pls?


…Enter the Dragonfilly, taking the save! Yeah!


I watched in shock as the red and blue colts
Adagio and Allegro raced up and dropped Octavia sideways before them and the
three colts from the watchtower tossed their light machine gun across the
instrument’s body. Anti-machine rounds whined and sparked off the
instrument’s indestructible body as the machine gun opened up a chattering line
of fire into the Harbingers.



Rarity got what she wanted. Kind of. Anyway, this is
just great.



I could at least respect that, but I reached
up with my fingers and relieved her of the 12.7mm SMG before she accidentally
shot somepony on our side... like me.



Yeah, we don’t need another one just now. And there’s
already angst aplenty.



“Hey, Twisty?” Boomer said as he pointed at
the wall. “Didn’t she say there was–”



Okay, so it looks like Boomer’s the one who keeps
his eyes on the prize.



“Here,”
Lightning Dancer said as she dug into her saddlebags and dumped my weapons out
onto the rooftop beside me. I saw the sword, and my life suddenly became
a lot better. It might not have been a ripper, but it would do for a can
opener.



So far my favorite reunion for the chapter. Okay,
maybe not really, but still.



editing matters:


With a deftness that shocked me, he wound his
mane around the remaining needle and hid it in his wiry blue hair.



“needle, hiding it in his wiry blue hair.”


The child she and Big Macintosh had conceived
together had been passed to Marigold after his assassination.



Calling it Mac’s assassination seems a little odd to
me, but probably is not wrong.



Not
perfect –certainly not– but trying to do better.



Not perfect – certainly not – but trying to do
better. Spaces before the “c” and after the “t” needed.



“I don’t
think–” I began.



“Thanks,
but–“



I believe that should be an em-dash (—) to indicate her
speech was cut off, not an en-dash (–).



In the area around the start of the conversation
with Dawn, there might be an overuse of ellipses.



Maybe it had some version of an E.F.S.


You mostly seem to use simply “EFS”. Or is there a
difference between “EFS” for ponies, and “E.F.S.” for armor? And just to be
clear, EFS is now a system Blackjack has independent of the PipBuck, right? But
threat detection is still incorporated with the PipBuck, not the cyberpony
systems.



You can. It’s in your blood,”


Needs opening quotation mark.


I didn’t really see this as much of an
improvement; If the thing had an E.F.S. then we were seven pretty obvious red
bars.



“If”, following the semicolon, shouldn’t be
capitalized. E.F.S. again, if applicable.



“Those spark bombs should jam it’s E.F.S for
a little bit.”



“It’s” should be “its”. I’m now really feeling like
there is a difference between the ee-eff-esses.



Tanks should get a special E.F.S. bar!


Okay, context suggests she’s talking about the bar
in her own EFS.



Just like me, she knew wshe didn’t deserve
happiness.



“knew she”


And for an instant she smiled ,and I knew it
was over.



“smiled, and”


The roof erupted beneath me, and then world
fell out in a roaring avalanche of stone and beams.



“and the world”, I think.


The elegant room hadn’t been picked over as
much as the rest of the manor. The white marble floor hadn’t been torn
out, and the elegant pillars still had their golden carvings of unicorns.



This is just a matter of taste, but two “elegants”
in as many sentences may be a little much. Maybe a synonym?



Still the machine guns fired wildly as the
tank turret swung around towards me.



It’s probably nothing, but “tank’s turret” or just “turret”
just feel better to me.



Felt the line between flesh and blood grow
more acute.



I’m not sure I follow this, if it’s supposed to be
as written. “Flesh and blood” is a phrase I normally think of as a single item;
should it be something along the lines of “between flesh-and-blood and metal”?
Or was it conceptually something else?



Would he blast me to pieces? machine
gun me apart? Crush me beneath his treads?



“Machine” should be capitalized.


overall thoughts:




On the whole, I really enjoyed this chapter. I have
to say that the transitions were done very well; the pacing flowed nicely from
down-time to plot developing flashback to creepy dialogue to hostage
negotiation to pitched battle.



I believe that the memory orb was well done. Everyone acted appropriately, and it was interesting to see how they behave when Blackjack isn’t around and won’t hear what they say. Seeing more of Glory’s concern, in particular, was meaningful to me—it was good to see how she was reacting even before the big split. The politicking was natural, and I almost wish we could see a little more of that sort of thing in the present; impersonal tension without violence is a little less common in PH. As was covered in the story, they made all the right calls, as far as I can tell, so nothing sticks out in that way.




I will confess, though, that bi? P-21 caught me off
guard—for most of it, it seemed more like BJ was reading something into his
words that probably wasn’t there, but then there was his litany of crushes, so
I don’t know. I suppose it could make sense, in that he was always just
suppressing any feelings of attraction towards mares, but as I said in the
running commentary, they always (at least in BJ’s second go at life) seemed
more like super BFFs than ponies between whom there was traditional romantic
tension. Again, maybe it’s just a POV issue.




Moving on—good on BJ for catching the sketch all over Dawn’s invitation to talk alone. It caught me a little off-guard, how poorly Dawn did at reading Blackjack, and at maintaining any level of non-evil even before the ultimatum. (On a side note, I can’t help but think that “salvation” doesn’t seem much like a virtue to me, much like “friendship” isn’t an emotion—but then again “magic” is apparently a virtue, so I guess FoE-verse just plays a little fast and loose with the word.) Anyway, we have our nice Empire double-shot, just with the order reversed: first we get to see the “join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son” moment, then the swamp-vision of what she could become/the twisted version of herself. Anyway, getting more info has been good, but I’m not sure that there were any world-shattering revelations. And as far as I’m concerned—and Blackjack, too, it seems—we know no more about Horizons than we did before.




The fight was strong, mostly. All of the entrences
were good, and it was a lot of fun to see Chapel stand for itself. Precious, in
particular, was great, as was the use of Octavia. The stuff with the pegasi
went well, with the exception with the lampshaded fact that it broke the flow
of the battle. The murder of Sky Striker, surrounded as it was by the melee,
didn’t have the impact it might have, but I trust we’ll feel it more after the
battle, in chapter fifty three. Regarding the post-chapter note: I can’t quite
say how I feel about it. The tank battle felt fine—it seemed mostly plausible
within the scope of PH, except perhaps the outrunning machine gun fire up the
stairs (which was dumb even in the source material—I mean really, it’s just the
nature of geometry that that doesn’t exactly hold up). The problem is that I
tend to feel better about lighter nods to other IP—I liked Stronghoof, for
instance, but felt he stuck out too much for my taste, that he was too close,
too obvious—and while the action pretty closely matching the climax of the
anime was fine, if I remembered the particulars of the movie better, especially
as it would have related to the end of Deus.




On that note, I thought that Deus was handled wonderfully. At this point, he really seems like he’d have nothing left but perhaps revenge against BJ to keep himself going, and her emotional appeal was just the suasion that should work on him. It wrapped up his character arc perfectly, while giving BJ some more closure on that chapter of her experience.

And, because why not, happy (U.S.) Thanksgiving, PHCC.

Thank you for your error spotting. The chapter is full at the moment, but I've started a new list.
More Detailed Reply:
""With a deftness that shocked me, he wound his
mane around the remaining needle and hid it in his wiry blue hair.


“needle, hiding it in his wiry blue hair.” "
I'm not really sure what the problem you see in the current version is.

I'm afraid that you'll likely have to put up with the apparently malformed em dashes, as Bronode is the one who handles them.

"And just to be
clear, EFS is now a system Blackjack has independent of the PipBuck, right? But
threat detection is still incorporated with the PipBuck, not the cyberpony
systems.
"
Yes; the EFS is technically just the display.

Also, the EFS/E.F.S. thing is just a case of us being inconsistent.



Oh, sorry. The needle one was--I think--something I was considering elaborating or just dropping entirely, but got rolled back to the notes version due to fighting with cloudsville messing with formatting, then dropping half the post, and ultimately me just capitulating and ctrl-c/v back from the alpha version.

Thanks for the elaboration.
avatar
Icy Shake
Alicorn

Posts : 1208
Brohoof! : 308
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 28
Location : Boston, MA

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:58 am

CannonFodder wrote:
"My other car is a alicorn"
To me that almost sounds like a sex joke.

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Somber on Sun Nov 25, 2012 3:22 am

Thanks so very much for all your feedback guys. I'm glad the tank battle wasn't too cheesy. It's the last anime I have planned... unless I can find some way to work in Evangelion... and I'm glad it worked. The plan is 2-3 chapters dealing with the Society, then Maripony happens, and then BJ gets swept up in Operation Cauterize trying to save Thunderhead from the Enclave and the Enclave from Lighthooves. Deus has two rolls to fill and I hope he'll do them well. It's the first time in 205 years that he's gotten to feel like a Marauder again.

Poor Glory though... she's lost her mother... her father is dying... her sister is in enemy hooves. She needs some TLC more than BJ at the moment; BJ just needs repairs... again... and Rover's done with freebies. Fortunately we get to find out why a bunch of pegasus would want to mind control a bunch of hellhounds. (Something that just made me go 'huh?' in the original fic.)

P-21 is a 6 on the Kinsey scale. 90% gay, but he occasionally gets ideas for certain mares and doesn't like it. He'd never act on it though... well, not without a whole lot of inebriation involved. And since he doesn't drink... well, not much hope of that.

Dawn really doesn't get BJ, which is sad given how similar they are. Dawn can't bear to lose, just like BJ once was, but unlike BJ she figured out a while ago she can kill... quite happily if need be.
avatar
Somber
Hydra

Posts : 538
Brohoof! : 1046
Join date : 2012-05-09

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:02 am

I can't believe I'm actually rootin' for Deus...then again he is my favorite villain so far.

We need fanart of Tank Deus! Sweetie Belle

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by WavemasterRyx on Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:19 am

Somber wrote:Thanks so very much for all your feedback guys. I'm glad the tank battle wasn't too cheesy. It's the last anime I have planned... unless I can find some way to work in Evangelion... and I'm glad it worked. The plan is 2-3 chapters dealing with the Society, then Maripony happens, and then BJ gets swept up in Operation Cauterize trying to save Thunderhead from the Enclave and the Enclave from Lighthooves. Deus has two rolls to fill and I hope he'll do them well. It's the first time in 205 years that he's gotten to feel like a Marauder again.

Fortunately we get to find out why a bunch of pegasus would want to mind control a bunch of hellhounds. (Something that just made me go 'huh?' in the original fic.)
- It sounds like a good plan, sir. I do hope you feel well enough to keep writing, especially so you can handle your work as well. And I'm very sorry, today was a complete loss for trying to work on the commentary. Hopefully I'll be able to get a better start on it tomorrow.

- I do believe the mind-controlled hellhounds were used simply for the sake of comparison to the deathclaws in Fallout 3, in which I'm certain there are throw-away theories as to why the Enclave did it. I'll be looking forward to your explanation.

Ironmonger wrote:We need fanart of Tank Deus!
If only I were better at drawing tanks.
avatar
WavemasterRyx
Hydra

Posts : 599
Brohoof! : 376
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 32
Location : Happyhorn Gardens

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Sindri on Sun Nov 25, 2012 10:12 am

Alright, I have finally returned, just in time to be... less than two days late with reactions to chapter 52.

Spoiler:
Sorry Blackjack, I don’t expect you’ll ever be old. The chances of you surviving long enough are pretty astronomical, and even if you pulled it off most of your parts are pre-war and still running smooth.

See, this is a thing Blackjack needs more of. Good old-fashioned feelings jam n the soggy cushion pile.
<>

Hah! P-21 can see Xenith leave the room. That might be his most impressive accomplishment.
...Anybody else just get a mental image of a really wierd P-21 vs Batman crossover thingie?

And Blackjack just learned that great^nth grandma got sucked into Unity. That’s less funny.

Modified high end hotel, rather the specially built. That gives a pretty final explanation of how and why there would be conventional locks on the doors, so my old theory of how they did this is still valid...
Eyup.

And now everything is shiny and happy. Or it would be, if the Goddess were exploded, rather than poking around inside Blackjack’s head. Alright hero, we’re going to put all your training as a child to the test: you need to not think about this massive revelation.

Whoops.

New headcanon: Discord set this up. All of it. Blackjack’s entire life is a grand game of Xanatos Roulette that simultaneously frees and empowers the Spirit of Chaos and saves the planet from the Eater, and this will all end in chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds for everyone.

...Hello Dawn.
P-21 does not trust Dawn around Blackjack’s pipleg (because she’s totally a Harbinger).
Blackjack is not catching on, but at least she can follow someone else’s lead until her brain tumors work themselves around the problem.

Yeah, it’s not so much a secret, Dawn.

Hmm. Dawn probably wouldn’t be so unsubtle as to lead BJ into an ambush in the rain. For one thing, she knows what Security tends to do to ambushes, especially ones with overwhelming force and positional superiority. She’s not going to break cover for anything less than a sure cop.

She knows an awful lot about the land before the Wasteland. And seems determined to get back there, less so to build something new and different over time.
She’s the dangerous kind of idealist, the ones who’ll do nothing but think and talk for years, until they see a chance to change everything in one fell swoop, breaking all you have now because they’re sure what you’ll get when they win is better.

Salvation? Well, fuck. Can’t just shoot Glory’s mom, can’t allow her to do... well, anything in the Hoof. Could we maybe get Red Eye to deal with her somehow? They seem like they’d like each other...

Big difference I see between Dusk’s old party and Blackjack’s? The old heroes were held together by ideals, by ego and loyalty and the confidence that they were making things better as long as they kept working. Which was great until the egos started grinding and the evidence piled up that they were accomplishing jack shit. Blackjack and co aren’t together out of some lofty ideal or heroic quest that can fail. They stick together because every one of them is so broken that they’d just fall apart without the right support, and the only ones who can survive supporting them even if they were interested are right here.
Will you still be together in five years? Highly unlikely from anything but a narrative perspective; it’s been a month and you should all be dead several times over. But if you manage to survive, the only thing that could possible break this group apart would be going sane.

Well, that was blunt. And probably the most effective tactics she could have used here.

Don’t worry about telling your friends. P-21 already knows, and he told you to talk to her about Horizons. He’s pretty much guaranteed to be behind you in the rain, and this is your best chance for vital information. Play along. But keep the music going.

Darn. Sounds like she’s already talked to Red Eye and left him behind.

And now we have a name. Cognitum. So she’s behind the Harbingers, fired the defense beam... is she also the one who destroyed Flash Industries? And/or the Cyberdaemon in the tunnels which traumatized Scotch?

And of course the big question... If the Harbingers are led by a mare so sweet and pacifistic that she abandoned Red Eye’s glorious (and likely to actually succeed and accomplish things) cause because he caused suffering, and she’s working for a kind and benevolent goddess... why have the Harbingers been spending the last week or two murdering the hell out of people to drag Blackjack’s leg back? I’m sorry Dusk, but you are lying, negligent, or stupid.

Derp. So yes, Cognitum is the one in Flash. Meaning she’s crazy, obsessed, and does not give a fuck about the little ponies who get in her way. And Dawn is lying or stupid, because mere negligence doesn’t fit anymore.

...Okay, now we need art of Steel Rain looking adorable.
Ah yes, the kill implants. I’d actually forgotten that those were Harbinger work, and it’s likely Blackjack had as well.

Dawn is one sick puppy. All in favor of never mentioning this meeting to Glory? Ever?

Tank. Village. Hey P-21? This would be a good time to reveal that you used Blackjack’s distraction to place a great many charges on that vehicle. Or, you know, at a more dramatic moment, but definitely before it has a chance to fire.

And there is the real Dawn, the one we hadn’t even met yet. She’s a good match for the demon in the Core.

Ah. So P-21 turned the broadcaster on... This brings us to three important questions. First, are the other Harbingers savvy enough to be listening in? If not, is Steel Rain bitter enough about the gut-shredding switch to not mention it to them? Most importantly, was this P-21’s only plan? Because he really ought to have been mining the area and draping that tank with demolition charges.

Cavalry has arrived. Now, ideally the village would be evacuated; they’re already rebuilding most everything. But just in case it’d be best if that big cannon never fire.
Meanwhile, the easiest way to take out a tank like that would be to detonate the magazine. Perhaps by sabotaging the great big cannon?

Wampage! I know, chainsawwing through a power-armored knight’s neck shouldn’t be adorable.
But it totally is.

Alas, we appear to have insufficient boom available. Is the hole still big enough that you could hop inside?

Okay, once you start praying for each others’ kills... yeah, I don’t think you have to worry about growing apart after you go so crazy together than you brains start blurring with one another.

Hmm. Y’know, some day you really ought to learn what all those warning messages mean. It’d be convenient sometimes to know when you’re no longer capable of movement, and maybe even prevent it from happening so often? Maybe one of them could even monitor burnout levels and tell you which spells are going to leave you even more crippled.

Flamer? That doesn’t seem like Harbinger style...

Precious. PRECIOUS! Best. Filly. And... significantly more durable than she should be even with dragonhide. I’m suddenly really glad that Chimera is dead if they could pull off something like this, and even more glad that the filly bouncing rifle shots and incinerating soldiers by threes is on Scotch’s side.
Scotch? Get out of the line of fire. Do you even have armor?
[You don’t wear armor either Dad!]
[Yes, and I’m smart enough to stay where nobody is shooting me. Meaning not next to Blackjack.]

Enclave?
I have no idea how to interpret that. But I hope that whatever side they’re on, it’s not the Harbingers’. I furthermore hope they brought anti-tank weaponry.

Do not fuck with an old zebra. The older, calmer, and less well-armed they are, the faster they will obliterate anything that gives them reason to.

Wait, Caprice is the one who told her? Damn, I was sure it was that colt at the medical center... Eh well, it was pretty inevitable that they’d find out from somebody. Don’t beat yourself up too much, the explosives’ll do that.

‘He’s the tank.’ From Caprice... bluh, only AI I’m remembering from around her is Mixer.

Well, I suppose we’re going back to Vanity’s room?

Half zebra-made body. Means you can do a dramatic backflip through the wall while a tank is bearing down on you, but you land on your head.

Hey, Lightning Dancer! Twister!... That’s not good. These are from the main Enclave, not Thunderhead.

Good to hear from Dusk. Not only alive, but not even a captive as far as the grunts know.

I love Boomer. Yes, the reincarnation of Rainbow Dash is standing in front of us next to the friendly cybernetic monster who took out our whole squad last time we were in the Hoof. But that’s no reason to forget about the bloody tank in front of you.

Got your equipment back? Hell yes. Sword vs Tank! (also noting reaction to seeing it. Might be simple joy at having a decent tool for the job, but it’s probably more empathic weapon effects)

Alright Sky Striker, tell me you were listening to Blackjack radio?


Well shit. I guess Cognitum keeps safeguards implanted in all her minions, and the important ones don’t just get kill switches.

Okay, so Sky Striker is down. Not dead, but pumped full of necromantic weirdness. Glory and Lac are out for treatment purposes. That leaves us with four armored pegasi, Blackjack, P-21, Wampage, Precious, and a horde of foals. Against what’s left of a small army of Harbingers, Rangers, one supertank, and one Cyberdaemon. Either of the big threats could just end the larger battle, so Blackjack needs to keep them both occupied at once... Security’s seen worse odds, but not by much and not often.

“Ante up.”
Hell. Fucking. Yes.

Hm. Given the option between hopping off, retrieving your sword, and trying to re-mount the tank, or trying to tear it open with your bare hooves? I believe you have chosen poorly.

Doof. Right. Caprice had the parts, donated most of them to rebuild Blackjack... I guess the brain case was harder than anyone thought.

Okay. If Deus can go back to being a pony, even when he’s just a brain in a jar...
Okay, long story short, that was bloody magnificent.

Now to figure out what happened over the last... how long was I out?
avatar
Sindri
Changeling

Posts : 1156
Brohoof! : 171
Join date : 2012-05-09

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ketchup on Sun Nov 25, 2012 10:29 am

When I read 53, I was wondering why Boomer didn't use his missile launchers to attack the tank, or anything at all, for that matter. He isn't mentioned firing them a single time. If the missiles used in FO:E are the same ones used in the games, they'd be HE and quite ineffective against heavy armor anyway.
avatar
Ketchup
The Condiment

Posts : 4897
Brohoof! : 114
Join date : 2012-05-09
Age : 20
Location : New Brunswick, Canada

Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Sun Nov 25, 2012 10:35 am

Okay Somber...I guess I'll ask for the maripony bomb for my birthday in February then!

It occurred to me this morning that this turmoil might actually permanently change the balance of the Goddess for the better. Considering how limited her remaining time is, it seems more than likely to me given that we all hate her now...and considering Somber is a mad genius.
avatar
Vergil
Mobius One

Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 29

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Cptadder on Sun Nov 25, 2012 11:38 am

I still got five bucks that Trixe ends up in Blackjacks head (ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL) only to be driven out by all of BJ dirty thoughts, for crissake she was checking out Steel Rain despite very clearly being smack dab in the middle of an ambush.

But that's the thing, we've spent so much time with Blackjack the fact she's checking out a stallion who's tried to kill her so many times makes perfect sense in character.

Final thoughts on Chapter 52 after re-reading everyone commentary.

Dawn is a Cylon
We need a new name for Cognitum. I'm not going to remember how to spell that so we need a fan-nickname and quick, preferably something slightly degrading.
avatar
Cptadder
Alicorn

Posts : 1751
Brohoof! : 118
Join date : 2012-06-03
Age : 33

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Stringtheory on Sun Nov 25, 2012 11:53 am

Cptadder wrote:We need a new name for Cognitum. I'm not going to remember how to spell that so we need a fan-nickname and quick, preferably something slightly degrading.
Cogs?
avatar
Stringtheory
Alicorn

Posts : 2097
Brohoof! : 97
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 22
Location : Amherst, MA

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:00 pm

Beemo. x)

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:12 pm

Random thought :


New Dawn looks awfully like a ponified version of a Necron, right ?

Does that make The Eater of Souls a C'Tan ?

I mean, it's a Star. That eat souls. That... kinda make sense, right ?
avatar
Harmony Ltd.
Draconequus

Posts : 8732
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 27
Location : Fancee

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:13 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:Random thought :


New Dawn looks awfully like a ponified version of a Necron, right ?

Does that make The Eater of Souls a C'Tan ?

I mean, it's a Star. That eat souls. That... kinda make sense, right ?

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:15 pm

And my money as of WHO is at the center of the swirly vortex of souls in the Necropolis is still on Luna.

Given she "ascended" to Nightmare Moon status in proto-Hoofington, and given her special relationship with the place and the Eater's Starmetal, it wouldn't seem strange to me that at least part of her soul got bonded to the place.
avatar
Harmony Ltd.
Draconequus

Posts : 8732
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 27
Location : Fancee

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Stringtheory on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:22 pm

Ironmonger wrote:
Harmony Ltd. wrote:Random thought :


New Dawn looks awfully like a ponified version of a Necron, right ?

Does that make The Eater of Souls a C'Tan ?

I mean, it's a Star. That eat souls. That... kinda make sense, right ?
guess we have to prepare for the Ward-pocalypse now... Applejacks
avatar
Stringtheory
Alicorn

Posts : 2097
Brohoof! : 97
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 22
Location : Amherst, MA

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:28 pm

I fully expect some kind of freak-ass warp beasts now or chaos ponies.

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Stringtheory on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:55 pm

Ironmonger wrote:I fully expect some kind of freak-ass warp beasts now or chaos ponies.
or worse...ultra-smurfs
avatar
Stringtheory
Alicorn

Posts : 2097
Brohoof! : 97
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 22
Location : Amherst, MA

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:59 pm

New Dawn.

I'm pretty happy with that one. It's at the same time true, and kind of ironic.



It's morning again in Equestria.
avatar
Harmony Ltd.
Draconequus

Posts : 8732
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 27
Location : Fancee

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:17 pm

You know what would make sense to see Blackjack fight at this point, at least to me? A Necron Destroyer. This aint off-topic talk, I'm being deadly serious.

Ironmonger
Daemon Prince of Bad Puns

Posts : 9017
Brohoof! : 290
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 22
Location : Cincinnati

Character List:
Name: Cast Iron
Sex: Male
Species: Unicorn

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ironmonger

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Mister Nikel on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:27 pm

So I just read chapter 52.....holy $%#^. Seriously Somber. There are not enough swear words in English language to describe how awesome this chapter was. It's the same level as the finale of the Hightower Arc in terms of combat but exceeded it in plot department.

And that reveal with Saren Dawn was mind blowing.

I may have just shat a brick at that part. If you think this chapter was cheesy, you are wrong. The emotion, the action, the characters they were all top notch this chapter. This was well worth the wait. I know you like criticism more and all, but there is not much to say. But now I will be much less patient about the new chapters being released after what I've seen in 52. All those set ups. Geez.

The only one thing that might be a problem is that BJ is turning from a hero into a messiah. I personally have no complaints about that since she is far from a perfect character, but I can see some people having an issue with that.

Also glad that Deus got a second chance. Even if he dies he will die as an equine and not as a monster. Love this moral about giving someone a chance to redeem himself/herself.

100%
10/10
★★★★★
Added to Bookmarks(Again)
Would read multiple times.
avatar
Mister Nikel
Colt/Filly

Posts : 32
Brohoof! : 9
Join date : 2012-05-18

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Luminous Lead on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:37 pm

So. I call Scotch and Deuce working together to solve both their psycho/emotional issues, with Deuce eventually serving as Chapel's ever vigilant guard.

Luminous Lead
Earth Pony

Posts : 116
Brohoof! : 21
Join date : 2012-09-23

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Luminous%20Lead

Back to top Go down

Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 32 of 34 Previous  1 ... 17 ... 31, 32, 33, 34  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum