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[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Guarddogjr on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:15 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:
guarddogjr wrote:or BJ's next form is enough to bring her down.
Taking bet on BJ's next form being a Hoofington Necron ?

....That, actually sounds badass and really terrifying.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Cptadder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:15 pm

Page 31 Summary is go.
@#%$@#%
Or would be, screw guarddogjr


Last edited by Cptadder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:16 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:16 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:
CannonFodder wrote:I don't know who the AI trying to save Blackjack is.
[tinfoil hat]AFAIK, we never learned the final fate of Golden Blood.[/tinfoil hat]
It's possible.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Erumpet on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:16 pm

Didn't the star sword of magic sharpiness have the ability to destroy soul jars? I may be wrong, but that would definitely make things easier against soul jarred robots.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:17 pm

Erumpet wrote:Didn't the star sword of magic sharpiness have the ability to destroy soul jars? I may be wrong, but that would definitely make things easier against soul jarred robots.

That's what I was thinking.

As for Dawn's transformation, I had a lot of trouble imagining it. As far as I was concerned she sliced off a costume via green lights.


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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:21 pm

Ironmonger wrote:
Erumpet wrote:Didn't the star sword of magic sharpiness have the ability to destroy soul jars? I may be wrong, but that would definitely make things easier against soul jarred robots.

That's what I was thinking.
Remember how in project eternity even though she sliced a soul jar it didn't die from one slash? The starmetal sword isn't a one hit k.o. She would not only have to slice the cyberdemon's legs off to stop them from moving, but slice them into many tiny pieces to make them stay down for good. Even still there's a possibility that Cognitum could just take all the soul jar pieces and stick the body back together.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:23 pm

Starmetal gun maybe? That was done with Starlight.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:24 pm

Ironmonger wrote:Starmetal gun maybe? That was done with Starlight.
Does Blackjack own a starmetal gun?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Erumpet on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:25 pm

I wonder if she cut the head off a soul jarred robot, would the head, the body, or both keep the soul? That may be a way to stop them. Maybe it just stays in the biggest part hrrrm.
I don't really see the Cyberdaemon putting back together sliced up soul robots though, at that point it seems like it would be easier just to make a new one.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:29 pm

Erumpet wrote:I wonder if she cut the head off a soul jarred robot, would the head, the body, or both keep the soul? That may be a way to stop them. Maybe it just stays in the biggest part hrrrm.
I don't really see the Cyberdaemon putting back together sliced up soul robots though, at that point it seems like it would be easier just to make a new one.
If a cyberdemon is hard to make then I would totally see them getting put back together.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Erumpet on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:31 pm

But if they are made of soul jar it would be impossible to weld it together, so you would be stuck trying to glue it together or something. And if the materials aren't soul jarred, why not just melt down the pieces and recast them into whatever shape you need?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Guarddogjr on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:35 pm

Depending on what the Cyberdaemon is, even soul jarred it wouldn't be impossible for it to repair it's self, and I'd assume it'd have some kind of repair talisman on it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:38 pm

Erumpet wrote:But if they are made of soul jar it would be impossible to weld it together, so you would be stuck trying to glue it together or something. And if the materials aren't soul jarred, why not just melt down the pieces and recast them into whatever shape you need?
Even still how many ponies have starmetal weaponry? Not to mention they could just replace the broken parts with replacements. You can't physically harm a soul jar without starmetal, but no one ever said anything about dismantling and replacing broken parts.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:40 pm

CannonFodder wrote:
Ironmonger wrote:Starmetal gun maybe? That was done with Starlight.
Does Blackjack own a starmetal gun?

A question that was answered before it was asked. I'm just saying she could use one. This is me thinking out loud, I don't have much interest in these debates unless it's about killing something or technology.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Luminous Lead on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:43 pm

I thought the star sword harmed souls because the vibrations were sang the tyrannical frequency of the eater of souls. It seemed incompatible with Discord's very nature, too. Ponies seem to be about equally order and chaos. If Cognitum is a being made of order (developed from pure machine), it's less likely that the sword will be able to hurt her (although her semi-chaotic soul minions probably won't have such protection).

Come to think of it, if the radiant Discord was the source of flux and most of the magical radiation in the wasteland (his power makes things twist and grow), would that make "The Goddess" his daughter/bastard/legacy?

Contrast this to the dark Eater of souls, the source of starmetal and seemingly all the enervation in the wasteland (his power degrades and reduces things to their primary constituents), whose legacy seems to be Cognitum.

Blackjack seems to be torn between the two- becoming part twisted alicorn, and part cyber demon. If these forces of dark and light come into direct conflict, I can only project red horizons from here on out.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Erumpet on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:45 pm

A repair talisman could work I suppose, the physics of magic and soul jars aren't very well defined after all.
I was talking only about Blackjack, to anybody else in the wasteland soul jarred cyberdemons are certain death undoubtedly. And sure if Blackjack neatly lopped off a leg at the joint, you could just replace it. But if she cuts a piece in half, you would have to remove the whole piece which may not be possible of it is welded into place without your own star metal. And if the pieces are all detachable, the robot becomes much easier to destroy, even for people without star metal weapons.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:57 pm

Luminous Lead wrote:I thought the star sword harmed souls because the vibrations were sang the tyrannical frequency of the eater of souls. It seemed incompatible with Discord's very nature, too. Ponies seem to be about equally order and chaos. If Cognitum is a being made of order (developed from pure machine), it's less likely that the sword will be able to hurt her (although her semi-chaotic soul minions probably won't have such protection).

Come to think of it, if the radiant Discord was the source of flux and most of the magical radiation in the wasteland (his power makes things twist and grow), would that make "The Goddess" his daughter/bastard/legacy?

Contrast this to the dark Eater of souls, the source of starmetal and seemingly all the enervation in the wasteland (his power degrades and reduces things to their primary constituents), whose legacy seems to be Cognitum.

Blackjack seems to be torn between the two- becoming part twisted alicorn, and part cyber demon. If these forces of dark and light come into direct conflict, I can only project red horizons from here on out.
I still have money on that she further mutates and becomes mostly alicorn like how littlepip by the end of the story was 3/5th's alicorn even though she didn't have wings.
Erumpet wrote:A repair talisman could work I suppose, the physics of magic and soul jars aren't very well defined after all.
I
was talking only about Blackjack, to anybody else in the wasteland soul
jarred cyberdemons are certain death undoubtedly. And sure if Blackjack
neatly lopped off a leg at the joint, you could just replace it. But if
she cuts a piece in half, you would have to remove the whole piece
which may not be possible of it is welded into place without your own
star metal. And if the pieces are all detachable, the robot becomes much
easier to destroy, even for people without star metal weapons.
I don't think the parts can just pop off. There's probably ways to open them up to do maintenance, but it's probably not as easy as you are making out to be. They're not clocks than you can just pop a screwdrive in a socket and take off it's leg, they're probably more like toasters cylons in that you can do maintenance on them, but it's not that easy.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by hawkeye92 on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:00 pm

O. Hinds wrote:
hawkeye92 wrote:Also, glad to see the Enclave back, particularly Lightning Dancer. I worried she'd been killed in blackjack's rampage. Kinda suprised the Neighvarro lot ended up in Sky Striker's bodyguard but I wouldn't be suprised if the Neighvarro command doesn't want them back.
Lightning Dancer was present in Blackjack's latest trip to the Skyport, though.


Huh I missed that. I'll have to re read through the last visit to the skyport.

As for the necron thing, I can imagine Cognitum making a second monstrosity to aid whatever Dawn turned out to be. The second pony is called Sahtah, but it all goes wrong about the time his flesh sloughs off and he goes nuts, galloping off into the wastes in search of a new face.

Also the idea of an army of pony cylons controlled by pony necrons created under the Hoof is a positively chilling concept.

I think Dawn died down in the tunnels and all we're seeing of her now are echoes, kinda like the communicators in the Library episodes of Dr. Who but with a longer term effect. Or at least I hope so, it would be kinder for Dawn. Also it's unlikely that if it was Dawn that she would react that violently to her husband- even if it was a case of 'assuming direct control', Dawn would then most likely think of a way of destroying herself before she harms anyone else she loves. Unless she is just that much of a twisted cookie.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Erumpet on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:06 pm

@Cannonfodder: I was trying to say how unlikely it is that they would be able to just pop pieces off, but that if the pieces where welded in it would be impossible to replace them. You can open them up and do maintenance sure, but you can't maintenance up a missing leg.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:14 pm

Erumpet wrote:@Cannonfodder: I was trying to say how unlikely it is that they would be able to just pop pieces off, but that if the pieces where welded in it would be impossible to replace them. You can open them up and do maintenance sure, but you can't maintenance up a missing leg.
I'm pretty sure with such a complicated piece of machinery as a entirely robotic body that there wouldn't be, other than the frame, any large pieces that you can't easily replace or take off. It'd be like designing a car that you would have to take to the scrap yard if it got a flat tire.

Personally if I were in Cognitum's place I would have a couple maintenance hatches that would be hard to get into for anyone else and yet once it's open have all the pieces easy to swap out if they're broken. Like a zipline hatch that once it's open you can open up the machine completely. The question is where is the hatch?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Erumpet on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:22 pm

But if it's soul jarred it would be exactly like a car you have to take to the scrapyard if it gets a flat tire, because it would never get a flat tire and be impervious to all wear and damage. When you are building the machine sure it's just like any other robot with lots of little pieces, which you could easily replace. But once you soul jar it, you can't beak or melt or screw anything onto it because it has become invincible. Besides the point remains, what happens if Blackjack cuts one leg in half? They can't weld the leg back on or remove and replace the leg because all the pieces are invincible.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:27 pm

Erumpet wrote:But if it's soul jarred it would be exactly like a car you have to take to the scrapyard if it gets a flat tire, because it would never get a flat tire and be impervious to all wear and damage. When you are building the machine sure it's just like any other robot with lots of little pieces, which you could easily replace. But once you soul jar it, you can't beak or melt or screw anything onto it because it has become invincible. Besides the point remains, what happens if Blackjack cuts one leg in half? They can't weld the leg back on or remove and replace the leg because all the pieces are invincible.
And here is the catch. It's impervious to all wear and damage, but no one ever said anything about a screwdriver counting as physical damage. If no alteration would be allowed and that is including dismantling and maintenance then the cyberdemons can not be soul jars, because that would mean that there can not be any moving parts as well.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Erumpet on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:40 pm

Well I had a response, but the Internet ate it, and now I'm watching a movie so I'll get back to this later.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:45 pm

Ketchup wrote:
Spoiler:

Page 1
At first, I wondered what they were having a party for, but I remember that Scotch got her cutie mark.
Lots of moping. I do wonder if she'll find that EC-1101 is worth it all. Probably not, because Hoofington is a terrible place with misfortune around every corner.
Page 2
Blackjack's skillset isn't very useful for rebuilding societies. More for guarding them and adventuring. Her psychological aptitude might come in handy with Rampage, though.
It's good that those days were good for P-21. Absolutely splendid.
Page 3
I don't think P-21 has ever made that gesture before.
Again, will it really be a good thing to find out what it is? Then again, Blackjack would be affected by that decision because she failed to finish it. Because she does those things.
I don't think plans for a vacation would pan out now, Blackjack...
Yes, P-21, tell her.
Page 4
Returned with a flight of alicorns... Maybe they were scared the Goddess would find out something?
His memory? Hrm... so they just erased Blackjack's, maybe?
Page 5
No wonder P-21 took Med-X. He was literally in constant pain.
So my assumption was at least partially correct.
Oh yeah, Glory was grey back then. Been a while indeed.
Homage, you are a naughty pony, teaching Glory those things... Or did she?
Page 6
A gallon of whiskey. Heheh.
Mega-X, huh? Neat name.
Good question, was Deus designed to be in pain constantly?
The Goddess would love to get behind that door... and likely kill every pony in the tower in the process. Maybe that's why she cannot know.
Page 7
Tarot. And wouldn't that make her able to bypass MoT seals as well, because of Big Mac? Somber's probably done it. I'll watch for it as I re-read.
There's a mention of Shining Armor.
Interesting that they didn't try to keep Blackjack, maybe she wasn't a relative after all? Or maybe they just failed to, I dunno.
Page 8
So it was P-21's assertion that she'd take it badly. Interesting.
A grenade? You sneaky pony, you.
Why don't they just cut through the walls?
Page 9
"Giant blue StealthBuck" Heheh, that's funny.
His thoughts on Blackjack never giving up and that she shouldn't suffer for them... Those might effect Blackjack a fair bit.
Page 10
"Don't tell Calamity" Pfftt, haha.
Crazy, crazy coincidences.
Dawn, you can be a spooky pony.
Page 11
Discord ought to show up sometime. I wonder what the Goddess thinks of his release.
Now what is Dawn up to?
Whenever someone says "Expanding horizons" or something like that, I think of this story.
I wonder if Dawn can predict weather in some fashion.
What could go wrong?
Page 12
"Lunaria", Interesting. The Eater might have something to do with that? And her becoming Nightmare Moon in the first place?
So she does want EC-1101...
She's getting creepy...
Page 13
Pegasus born to Earth ponies, or Earth pony born and modified into a Pegasus? I don't know where the second one came from.
Thus, the name Dawn.
Page 14
Lots of backstory, not going to comment on it much other than how it is very interesting.
Ambush...?
Page 15
Dammit, I thought she was good... Well, I guess she is... In her own way.
Okay, no tricks. She's asking. Maybe she should've tried that before Blackjack killed a bunch of her followers?
To save the city from Project Horizons? Whoa... This'll be good.
Take a gamble. You've done it before, Blackjack.
Page 16
A superweapon to stop a coup... Interesting.
Deus? Saving the wasteland?
Cognitum? Wat?
Craziness abound.
Page 17
Is Cognitum the Cyberdeamon perhaps? Too crazy.
So Cog sends Sanguine, who sends Deus, to Stable 99 to get EC-1101. They kill and infect most of the population with the disease. Probably not what Cog wanted.
Page 18
Exactly, talk first, shoot later. Blackjack has gotten better at that, but not perfect...
And now Steel Rain is involved. Fantastic.
Blackjack won't kill him. Dawn is playing games.
Page 19
There. She'd never kill him while he wasn't a direct threat.
Who are the rest of these ponies? Harbingers?
I would've guessed his Pipbuck or his power armor, but a kill implant works.
This thing is crazy. big ol' conspiracy.
I wonder if Blackjack has one of those implants...
He has a Pipbuck on him! He'd never get it off if he can't use anything more advanced than a can opener.
Page 20
Dawn is getting stranger by the paragraph.
Holy shit. She'd do that? Her daughter is there. I can't tell if it's a bluff or not.
Page 21
I honestly don't know what to say here, other than Dawn does have some conscience in feeling bad for "Needing" to do this.
Page 22
I don't think either of those things were mistakes. Those foals were suffering, and the Stable was dangerous. Very dangerous.
If they could hear her on the broadcaster, other ponies could too.
And Lacunae can teleport. Your sentries mean nothing.
Page 23
Of course they plan on killing her. I doubt it'll work though.
Page 24
*Cue A-Team theme*
There's P-21's part.
And Glory's. now where is Rampage? I wouldn't be too surprised of she didn't come, though.
Part 25
There's some firepower they might need to attack the tank... And there's Rampage.
Page 26
Her armor really is excellent. I've forgotten what it is, though.
Page 27
I was wondering if some of the foals would show up to help. Looks like some of them did.
Charity, even. That is adorable in its own way.
Big(little?) damn heroes, they are all there.
Page 28
You can. It’s in your blood,”Missing quotation mark before 'you'.
There's Sekashi. It's quite interesting to see how her friends fight. I wonder who's side the Enclave are on though...
Page 29
Majina, too.
A very funny story, huh?
Oh no, Caprice is hurt.
She's partially responsible. Hrmm.
Who is 'Him'? Deus?
Page 30
She's dead.
Whoever 'He' is has a grudge.
Now we'll see who the Enclave are with.
Page 31
Twister, Lightning and Boomer. Friendly enough.
And Sky Striker is here? Where?
And Dusk made it. Good.
Page 32
And her weapons, too.
There he is, and Dawn.
Page 33
Sky Striker seems like a pretty good guy.
Her eyes open?
She's been... Augmented? Mutilated?
Sky Striker might not make it through that kind of damage. What is 'she' made of? Starmetal?
Page 34
Ante up, indeed.
Page 35
Looks like her sword is a match for the tank's armor.
Page 36
I don't know if its a good thing her body will let her do that, or a bad thing. She needs some new legs. Again. Rover won't be happy.
Y'know, we were discussing n Adder's teamspeak who could be coming back after a long absence and Deus came up as a brain in a jar as a possibility, even U-21 came up. Looks like we came pretty close.
Is she... Talking him down?
Page 37
It worked. I wonder what he's going to do now.
End.
What happened to Glory? Anticipation!
RE: Footnote:
I don't want you to rush through the story, Somber. I, for one, don't want it to end despite that it has to. I accept that. You have a life with responsibilities. Just don't rush. Please. Your pacing is great so far and the tank scene was a bit odd but not poor. Poor for Rover, though.
A lot of things were put together in this chapter, and some were put to rest.
Great chapter, I look forward to reading the next and any after that.
Thank you for spotting that error; it has been added to my list.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by DanielLC on Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:50 pm

Is this a good place to post feedback to the story?

Every one of us read a story longer than War and Peace, and decided it wasn't long enough. I, for one, starting reading this one because I knew it was of comparable length. I already feel sad knowing that the story is close to ending, since it's over three quarters complete. This is despite the fact that the remaining story is most likely going to be pretty long for a novel on its own.

In short, don't worry about making the story too long. Worry about making it too short. I just want to read more of it, and I can only do that until it ends.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by OneMoreDaySK on Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:58 pm

DanielLC wrote:Is this a good place to post feedback to the story?

Every one of us read a story longer than War and Peace, and decided it wasn't long enough. I, for one, starting reading this one because I knew it was of comparable length. I already feel sad knowing that the story is close to ending, since it's over three quarters complete. This is despite the fact that the remaining story is most likely going to be pretty long for a novel on its own.

In short, don't worry about making the story too long. Worry about making it too short. I just want to read more of it, and I can only do that until it ends.

Welcome to the Project Horizons Comment Crew! Yes, this is a good place for chapter recaps, analysis, reactions, etc. We also have a random chat thread for all your spontaneous needs. The story's not over yet, and there's always Minecraft/TF2/Planetside with the crew if you're interested.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:05 am

DanielLC wrote:Is this a good place to post feedback to the story?

Every one of us read a story longer than War and Peace, and decided it wasn't long enough. I, for one, starting reading this one because I knew it was of comparable length. I already feel sad knowing that the story is close to ending, since it's over three quarters complete. This is despite the fact that the remaining story is most likely going to be pretty long for a novel on its own.

In short, don't worry about making the story too long. Worry about making it too short. I just want to read more of it, and I can only do that until it ends.
Welcome! Yes, this is the place to post story feedback to make sure that Somber sees it. Please try to keep non-PH and to an extent non-FoE posts in this thread to a minimum; we used to not have that rule, but the offtopic chatter built up so much that it fissioned into its own thread (currently here but nearly at its first 34).
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:17 am

Well, I'm not quite as late to this party as I'd originally thought. As, ever, it seems my formatting has been tortured to the point of unrecognizability, so I'm sorry for that. Anyway, let's go.

running commentary:


It’s interesting to see Blackjack fighting more
effectively against her self-recriminating impulses. I think it is probably a
welcome change, but we’ll see.



On leaving EC-1101, I guess I can see the appeal,
but of course I expect it won’t happen.



“Sweet
Celestia, P-21, fuck whatever I want! What I’ve wanted has been a fucking
disaster. What about what you want? You want to stay with Scotch
Tape. Say I’m wrong. Glory deserves a little attention and
stability. Rampage needs help more than me. Fuck my
Goddesses-damned quest!”






I also get where P-21 is coming from; it’s been
clear from day one that Blackjack was unsuited to a predictable, stable life.
And I cannot help but imagine that beyond that issue, she would have trouble
living with the idea that she should just maintain quality of life in one
place, when there is so much Wasteland where things are still terrible. Maybe
that’s not quite the case, and she’d be fine leaving poor enough alone as long
as she wasn’t there to see or hear about it, but that doesn’t ring true to me.



They were calmer, softer. If 99 had
been different… if so many things had been different…



Blackjack,
you don’t need quadrant vacillation here; BJ<>P-21 is great, and you don’t
need to go thinking about what might have been, particularly considering your
recent issues with Glory.



P-21
frowned, seeming lost in thought before he slowly nodded. “Yeah…”



Okay. I see two things that could mean here. The
less fun one is basically a sigh in response to how obvious it is that BJ
wouldn’t have been happy dropping the quest. The more fun, natch, is that he’s
figured out Dawn. Or, duh, the memory modification. I suppose I never suspected
it would be related to Horizons. But damn
if it was.



“Priest. Stronghoof. U-21.
Calamity,”



Did he have a crush on Prince Who’s-it, too, or was
that just Blackjack?



“I don’t like mares. Most are whining,
chatty, hypocritical, and just plain crazy. With the exception of Scotch
Tape and… I just don’t like them!”



Aaannd everypony is lesbians.


The memory orb is great. I think that might be the
first time I remember there being an orb of someone so close. Everything holds
together well in it, it neatly finishes tying up some loose ends, and seeing
the depth of concern Blackjack’s friends have for her—directly, unfiltered—was nice.



So I
travelled far and wide in search of anypony who could bring order to the world.



It’s not like anyone trusted her at this point, but
order and peace aren’t the same thing.



Eventually, EC-1101 will conclude that Luna
has been deposed and fire Horizons. When that happens, the Wasteland,
perhaps the world, will be destroyed.



So, I just don’t buy this. Nor should anyone who’s
familiar with doomsday devices, MAD/CARE, or at least seen Dr. Strangelove. Project Horizons, if this is what it is, could not
possibly achieve its goal. Sure, destroying the world would put an end to a Ministry coup
d’état
, but what’s the point in that? No, to be effective, you need to tell those you wish to intimidate that
you have the doomsday device—at least once it’s operational. What’s more,
Equestria already had megaspells available. If you needed something like this,
wouldn’t it be easier simply to hide, say, balefire bombs under Luna’s direct
control in various locations around Equestria (and who knows, maybe that’s all
it amounts to, but that just doesn’t seem like that big of a project).



I
frowned; something about this was off. Goldenblood had been paranoid, no
doubt about that. He’d done everything he could to ensure that Luna had
remained in power. He’d manipulated the ministries and the entire kingdom
for her. But if Luna was deposed or killed… why blow everything up?
Some sort of vengeance? It couldn’t have worked as a deterrent
because nopony knew about it. I looked at the gray pegasus with a long
frown. If this Cognitum had lied to Dawn, there was only one way to
figure out the truth.



Never mind. Looks like BJ is on the case.


“I need to meet her,” I said sullenly.


Holy mother fuck that’s retarded. You think so
yourself—you were all over that with respect to Dawn herself! We’ve been over
this, Blackjack: you think, then you
speak. I hope I’m missing some element of her ingenious plan.



“Would it
help if you could get revenge on him for what he did to you and your friends?”



An intriguing offer, but I’d like to think not one
Blackjack would find worthy of a nibble. She’s rarely seemed to be about
revenge, and never, that I can recall, in cold blood such as this, with the
possible exception of Lighthooves.



“Unfortunately, a certain measure has been
taken to ensure that I cannot betray Cognitum or her prophet.”



I think I know where this is going. And I doubt that
Blackjack would approve of such measures in general, much less directed at
herself.



“If you
like, I can kill him now. Or maim him. Or simply exile him with a
command that the kill implant goes off if he uses any technology more advanced
than a can opener,” Dawn said evenly, her smile returning and the purple
stallion’s gentle features growing resigned as he sighed. “Consider it a
repayment for following bad advice.”



You know, where good governance is present
responsibility flows to the top. Sure, Steel Rain’s bad, but I don’t really see
where he was giving false counsel—and what counsel he gave was under duress, at
that; this is all on Dawn.



Dawn
frowned for a second, then brightened. “Oh. I understand. You
want to do it yourself. Well, I can give you the kill command just as
soon as–”



Aaaannndd it’s gone. All gone. She clearly has no
understanding of Blackjack, and is probably at this point a psychopath to boot.
Show’s over; we’re done here; move along.



The fact she’d been willing to kill him, at
all, for her mistake in believing him convinced me that the Harbingers weren’t
the Wasteland’s final solution.



But it’s sounding ever more like they may be its
Final Solution.



“What other choice have you given me?” Dawn
replied quietly, her mane obstructing her face. “Trying to take it by
force has failed. Trying to negotiate has failed as well.”



Blackjack: “Open command prompt as administrator.”


C:>FORMAT/U_


Turning to Dawn, “Try me.”


“Really?
Because I’ve been listening to your conversation since you left Chapel.”
He lifted his head and then turned it to show some kind of earphone
thing. “I’ve been a big fan of Radio Blackjack.” Then he suddenly
smirked. “Champion in bed? Really? That freak?”



P-21, you magnificent bastard. Thank the Sisters
there’s someone who is a smart pony to take care of business.



“I’ve learned that with Blackjack it is
better to be safe than sorry,” Steel Rain said in worry as he scanned the
night, no doubt using his EFS. He looked back at me with a warm smile. “I
don’t want to underestimate her again. Her friends have a disturbing
tendency to rescue her at inopportune moments.”



Of course, the thing to do here would be to cap her
before she can react to a change in EFS, and run off with the PipBuck before
the cavalry arrives. I expect the surprise teleportation may show up soon.



None will war when the consequence is
immediate execution.



Hey, I remember someone else coming up with that
idea. I just wish I could remember who it was, and how it worked out!



“Killing
foals, Mother? Using a tank against foals and Blackjack?” Glory shrieked.
“Are you mad?!”



I can has matricide? Pls?


…Enter the Dragonfilly, taking the save! Yeah!


I watched in shock as the red and blue colts
Adagio and Allegro raced up and dropped Octavia sideways before them and the
three colts from the watchtower tossed their light machine gun across the
instrument’s body. Anti-machine rounds whined and sparked off the
instrument’s indestructible body as the machine gun opened up a chattering line
of fire into the Harbingers.



Rarity got what she wanted. Kind of. Anyway, this is
just great.



I could at least respect that, but I reached
up with my fingers and relieved her of the 12.7mm SMG before she accidentally
shot somepony on our side... like me.



Yeah, we don’t need another one just now. And there’s
already angst aplenty.



“Hey, Twisty?” Boomer said as he pointed at
the wall. “Didn’t she say there was–”



Okay, so it looks like Boomer’s the one who keeps
his eyes on the prize.



“Here,”
Lightning Dancer said as she dug into her saddlebags and dumped my weapons out
onto the rooftop beside me. I saw the sword, and my life suddenly became
a lot better. It might not have been a ripper, but it would do for a can
opener.



So far my favorite reunion for the chapter. Okay,
maybe not really, but still.



editing matters:


With a deftness that shocked me, he wound his
mane around the remaining needle and hid it in his wiry blue hair.



“needle, hiding it in his wiry blue hair.”


The child she and Big Macintosh had conceived
together had been passed to Marigold after his assassination.



Calling it Mac’s assassination seems a little odd to
me, but probably is not wrong.



Not
perfect –certainly not– but trying to do better.



Not perfect – certainly not – but trying to do
better. Spaces before the “c” and after the “t” needed.



“I don’t
think–” I began.



“Thanks,
but–“



I believe that should be an em-dash (—) to indicate her
speech was cut off, not an en-dash (–).



In the area around the start of the conversation
with Dawn, there might be an overuse of ellipses.



Maybe it had some version of an E.F.S.


You mostly seem to use simply “EFS”. Or is there a
difference between “EFS” for ponies, and “E.F.S.” for armor? And just to be
clear, EFS is now a system Blackjack has independent of the PipBuck, right? But
threat detection is still incorporated with the PipBuck, not the cyberpony
systems.



You can. It’s in your blood,”


Needs opening quotation mark.


I didn’t really see this as much of an
improvement; If the thing had an E.F.S. then we were seven pretty obvious red
bars.



“If”, following the semicolon, shouldn’t be
capitalized. E.F.S. again, if applicable.



“Those spark bombs should jam it’s E.F.S for
a little bit.”



“It’s” should be “its”. I’m now really feeling like
there is a difference between the ee-eff-esses.



Tanks should get a special E.F.S. bar!


Okay, context suggests she’s talking about the bar
in her own EFS.



Just like me, she knew wshe didn’t deserve
happiness.



“knew she”


And for an instant she smiled ,and I knew it
was over.



“smiled, and”


The roof erupted beneath me, and then world
fell out in a roaring avalanche of stone and beams.



“and the world”, I think.


The elegant room hadn’t been picked over as
much as the rest of the manor. The white marble floor hadn’t been torn
out, and the elegant pillars still had their golden carvings of unicorns.



This is just a matter of taste, but two “elegants”
in as many sentences may be a little much. Maybe a synonym?



Still the machine guns fired wildly as the
tank turret swung around towards me.



It’s probably nothing, but “tank’s turret” or just “turret”
just feel better to me.



Felt the line between flesh and blood grow
more acute.



I’m not sure I follow this, if it’s supposed to be
as written. “Flesh and blood” is a phrase I normally think of as a single item;
should it be something along the lines of “between flesh-and-blood and metal”?
Or was it conceptually something else?



Would he blast me to pieces? machine
gun me apart? Crush me beneath his treads?



“Machine” should be capitalized.


overall thoughts:




On the whole, I really enjoyed this chapter. I have
to say that the transitions were done very well; the pacing flowed nicely from
down-time to plot developing flashback to creepy dialogue to hostage
negotiation to pitched battle.



I believe that the memory orb was well done. Everyone acted appropriately, and it was interesting to see how they behave when Blackjack isn’t around and won’t hear what they say. Seeing more of Glory’s concern, in particular, was meaningful to me—it was good to see how she was reacting even before the big split. The politicking was natural, and I almost wish we could see a little more of that sort of thing in the present; impersonal tension without violence is a little less common in PH. As was covered in the story, they made all the right calls, as far as I can tell, so nothing sticks out in that way.




I will confess, though, that bi? P-21 caught me off
guard—for most of it, it seemed more like BJ was reading something into his
words that probably wasn’t there, but then there was his litany of crushes, so
I don’t know. I suppose it could make sense, in that he was always just
suppressing any feelings of attraction towards mares, but as I said in the
running commentary, they always (at least in BJ’s second go at life) seemed
more like super BFFs than ponies between whom there was traditional romantic
tension. Again, maybe it’s just a POV issue.




Moving on—good on BJ for catching the sketch all over Dawn’s invitation to talk alone. It caught me a little off-guard, how poorly Dawn did at reading Blackjack, and at maintaining any level of non-evil even before the ultimatum. (On a side note, I can’t help but think that “salvation” doesn’t seem much like a virtue to me, much like “friendship” isn’t an emotion—but then again “magic” is apparently a virtue, so I guess FoE-verse just plays a little fast and loose with the word.) Anyway, we have our nice Empire double-shot, just with the order reversed: first we get to see the “join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son” moment, then the swamp-vision of what she could become/the twisted version of herself. Anyway, getting more info has been good, but I’m not sure that there were any world-shattering revelations. And as far as I’m concerned—and Blackjack, too, it seems—we know no more about Horizons than we did before.




The fight was strong, mostly. All of the entrences
were good, and it was a lot of fun to see Chapel stand for itself. Precious, in
particular, was great, as was the use of Octavia. The stuff with the pegasi
went well, with the exception with the lampshaded fact that it broke the flow
of the battle. The murder of Sky Striker, surrounded as it was by the melee,
didn’t have the impact it might have, but I trust we’ll feel it more after the
battle, in chapter fifty three. Regarding the post-chapter note: I can’t quite
say how I feel about it. The tank battle felt fine—it seemed mostly plausible
within the scope of PH, except perhaps the outrunning machine gun fire up the
stairs (which was dumb even in the source material—I mean really, it’s just the
nature of geometry that that doesn’t exactly hold up). The problem is that I
tend to feel better about lighter nods to other IP—I liked Stronghoof, for
instance, but felt he stuck out too much for my taste, that he was too close,
too obvious—and while the action pretty closely matching the climax of the
anime was fine, if I remembered the particulars of the movie better, especially
as it would have related to the end of Deus.




On that note, I thought that Deus was handled wonderfully. At this point, he really seems like he’d have nothing left but perhaps revenge against BJ to keep himself going, and her emotional appeal was just the suasion that should work on him. It wrapped up his character arc perfectly, while giving BJ some more closure on that chapter of her experience.

And, because why not, happy (U.S.) Thanksgiving, PHCC.


Last edited by Icy Shake on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:42 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CannonFodder on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:36 am

DanielLC wrote:Is this a good place to post feedback to the story?

Every one of us read a story longer than War and Peace, and decided it wasn't long enough. I, for one, starting reading this one because I knew it was of comparable length. I already feel sad knowing that the story is close to ending, since it's over three quarters complete. This is despite the fact that the remaining story is most likely going to be pretty long for a novel on its own.

In short, don't worry about making the story too long. Worry about making it too short. I just want to read more of it, and I can only do that until it ends.
I agree with DanielLC here. The problem with the original fallout equestria is that the last few chapters seemed rushed. So the last thing I would ever want to see if for somber to do that as well. If it takes another 30 chapters I'm fine with that. Project Horizons is a amazing story and I wouldn't want Somber to change their writing style.

We've all read all this way through and Somber has yet to disappoint and the latest chapter was just awesome, so I say just continue to be awesome Somber.



Also I have to agree with the cylon analogy with the cyberdemon. Dawn probably already died in the tunnels and whatever is wearing her skin only thinks she is still dawn or was Dawn and her willingness to kill foals only shows that whatever was of Dawn is dead. Cognitus probably found her body and re-animated it like a ghoul and popped the brain into a new mechanical body. The brain is essentially a extremely complex computer so it would only make sense for a AI to not let it go to waste and use it like a sock puppet for a mobile platform. Which makes Cognitus even more terrifying cause the thing walking around in Dawn's skin thinks it's Dawn believes the same things as Dawn, but is willing to do anything even kill to achieve it.

What's to stop Cognitus from slapping another brain into another body and making it think it's Dawn? Just slap a new piece of flesh on it, make it think it's Dawn and your prophet comes back.


Last edited by CannonFodder on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:50 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:06 am

I think it would be cool if Deus came back and aided Blackjack somehow. I envisioned him as looking a lot like a Land Raider with a main turret. Also, he would have to be pretty slow given it took him a while to actually catch blackjack. At least I think so, I'm tired and not thinking straight.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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