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[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:30 pm

I BELIEVE IN SECURITY!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:34 pm

Kippershy wrote:
Exactly why she's got to die at the end, as much as it pains me to say.
She's going to find her reason to live, find her confidence and her courage to fight it all no matter what. she's going to do everything she can.... and then it'll all be taken from her in one horrible, unfair swipe.
There'll be no other way, just as she accepts herself for who she is and what she can and can't do, just as she is ready to settle down and just live... it'll go away.

I can honestly bet you money that's how it'll end. Nothing else would fit, as much as I would love it to.
I want Blackjack to get better, for her to be stronger, tougher and harder both physically and emotionally/mentally, I want her to live happily... but I can't see that ever happening, not for a happily ever after.

She'll die, she may have her five minutes of happiness and acceptance just as she's dying, where she lets go and gives in, but I don't see her being able to survive the end of it.
I think there is a shot at a happy ending, and I'm not at all sure that it will end like you suggest; here's why: the scenario you describe is a beautiful, appropriate ending to Blackjack's story...that already happened in chapter 32. The storyline could wind back around, ending the same way, but I think that the fact that it happened once means that that point, which does feel necessary to any story for Blackjack, doesn't need to come again at the end.

Going back to the earlier Sonic Rainboom discussion, did we ever get a real list of who could pull one off? We know RD and Ditzy, but I can't remember any others. I know it was Enclave policy to track anyone who could do one, but was it a policy ever actually used? Calamity said there were none alive capable of pulling one off in chapter thirty (iIncidentally, I didn't realize Kkat anticipated the ease with which RD would ultimately be able to do Rainbooms). It occurred to me that maybe the Rainboom can only be achieved by potential Element Bearers. No real reason to think so, but...

Anyway, 'maybe someday' has arrived. Have some editing. (And my computer crashed again while going through this; I think it doesn't like it when I use search repeatedly in Google Docs or something, because at the time Firefox was using far more memory than it normally does, or had any right to.)
Chapter 50 edits:

It wasn’t just that she looked like Rainbow Dash; she had every bit the strength and vigor of Rainbow Dash in her youth.

Every bit of? This could be another case where I’m just unfamiliar with one form of an idiom or phrase.


One thing was for sure: no matter what happened between Glory and I, Octavia wouldn’t be left in the corner of my bedroom.

Glory and me, I think.


“What else happened?” she asked as she put her hoof on mine.

Glory didn’t say anything. Her eyes were closed as she wept. But she kept her hooves on mine.
Don’t know how much you care about this sort of thing.


Still, I smiled at her; Glory -- who’d had her cutie mark burned off both her flanks and barely said three cross words -- was angry.

“Well, we need water pressure, and for that we need volume and elevation–or the right kinds of pumps, but I don’t know where we’d get those–and for that we need pipe but I have no idea where the pipes are buried or where the shutoffs are or anything.”

No real, immediate problem here, but getting the double-hyphens changed to en-dashes is something to keep in mind for when the physical printing is done, when I assume the work would be done in something more friendly than Google Docs. And consistently having the sequence be “word–space–en-dash–space–word” or “word–en-dash–word” would be preferable to using both (if sticking with en-dashes for this sort of thing rather than em-, I'd suggest “word–space–en-dash–space–word,” but that's neither here nor there).


We’re not in Stable 99 anymore,” he said with a small frown. He looked at me, as if struggling for what he should say next.

I think this might work better as “searching for” or “struggling to find/decide/determine what”, since that ties in better with the looking, and I would tend to associate struggling for something to be struggling on its behalf, rather than struggling to achieve/make progress with it.


Dilute it, bury it; it just stayed around poisoning and poisoning and poisoning.

This sentence seems a little off to me, first with the unusual list construction prior to the semicolon, and then with the mismatched tenses, starting with present tense as the condition and moving on to past tense for the effect. If you see where I’m coming from, maybe consider if you like the sound of something like “Dilute it or bury it, it just stayed around…/it’d just stay around…” or even something like “Diluted or buried, it just stayed around…”, if not, no problem.


Understand that while you are a surrogate and may get attached to your infant, the legal rights remain-
I really didn’t need that right--
“Yeah, I keep wanting to see you, but between the fighting, my own projects, and Goldenblood’s scheduling, I never get a-“
“Look, Pinkie, I know you don’t like Goldenblood, but you can’t just accuse–“
“And I don’t care what Twilight says-“
I didn’t deserve to--
“We need to get you to safety. I know the Ministry of Awesome is going to want to hear about-”
“And I don’t care what Twilight says-“

As above, these are more a formatting issue for the print version, where the best choice to indicate the cutoff at the end would probably be an em-dash (and for the ones in quotes, forcing close-quote marks where some are currently open-quote).


PS: Did you know Cadance had another foal?

In 49 it was spelled 'Cadence'.


All that mattered was that we were together; even if I was the last person in Equestria anypony should possibly be with.

This could be a comma, but it looks like Somber really likes the '[sentence]; [descriptive fragment].' construction, so whatever.


There were crows’ feet in the corners of her eyes.

Doing a quick look, it seems that “crow’s feet” is the preferred spelling, but I could certainly be wrong on that.


Cooking?!
This is just an aside: I love interrobangs. I just wish the single-character interrobang was a standard, widely-accepted glyph.


I froze in place, then backed towards a door that was open a crack.

This should probably be “Marigold froze…” since it’s in an orb and the verb is not a passive, observation-based action.


She stopped at a T and looked left and right, glancing behind her before darting down to the right.

…glancing behind herself…

She raced across the room, not daring to glance behind her any more.

…glace behind herself…


I sighed, trying to think of adding the one part I had omitted in my tale: my new connection to the Goddess.

It seems clear that she can think of adding it, but just cannot actually get the words out; perhaps instead “to think of how to add…” or “I sighed, thinking of adding the one…”


I’m pretty sure now the answer is really ‘none of the above!’.

I’m not sure on the conventions here, but having those consecutive marks seems off.



The post office had gotten a bit cluttered since the last time I’d been in here. The space behind the counter was nearly a solid wall of packing crates and boxes overflowing with plunder from Blueblood Manor. The feral ghoul population had kept it safe from looters, leaving it to be picked clean by Chapel’s intrepid Crusaders. Anything of even passing value that hadn’t decayed had been brought here.
There was a little sign that read ‘ring bell if it makes you feel better.’ I looked at the brass bell on the counter and tapped it. Nothing. I hit the little button on top repeatedly, but aside from a muted and oddly unsatisfying tapping within, nothing. I sighed and stretched up to try and peer over the crates of silver candlesticks and stacks of porcelain. There was nothing for it. “Charity?” I called out.

This looks like it should be two paragraphs, separated between “brought here.” and “There was.” Either that, or there is an extraneous line break between the sentences instead of a space.


“Look out,” I shouted, but in the bedlam nopony took notice.
I know it’s bad form to overuse exclamation points, but I think one could be spared after a shouted “Look out” . [Just to be clear, that's mostly a joke.]


All the Crusaders. Harpica, the ghoul pegasus holding the undead filly Lacunae had saved. The workers who were complete strangers looked on impassively as the hero of Hoofington failed before their eyes. P-21 holding a pitying Scotch Tape, the filly’s designs and plans getting ruined in the rain. Even Caprice and Charity side by side, the former wary and the latter scornful, watched me carefully. Lacunae stood beside Sekashi and the mournful Majina, Rampage, and the stoic Dealer before the zebra’s little house.

This inconsistency might have been intentional, but some of the sentences were in the simple past tense, while others followed “[person] … ing-form verb…”, and I think it might read better if they were all the same, rather than alternating back and forth.


And no matter how I kicked myself for Medley; for not being able to save her… it wouldn’t change that.
Semicolon should be comma or ellipsis.


Something vitally important and wrong, but that I couldn’t actually remember it.

I think the “it” is extraneous, and probably shouldn’t be there.


“What the hell is that stripe doing here?” one soldiermare asked in a murmur.
Most of the soldiers were paying attention, but the soldier mare who been talking before did so with a poorly concealed sneer.

I think one soldier-mare is probably supposed to match the form of the other.


“Sir, yes sir!” the soldiers said in unison.
...
“Yes Ma’am, Captain Grizzly.

Are the capitalization rules for ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ different?


She must have been moving for at least hour; every now and then she could see the soldiers in the distance trying to pick their way through the rain and mud and making terrible time at it.

“…at least an hour”.


The machineguns had ripped a hole through her combat armor and punched clear into her chest.

The other cases in the chapter used “machine guns”.


My whole head felt like it’d been ripped open too.

Ripped open, too.


On one last note, I saw that sometimes phrases in single quotes ended like ‘. and other times like .’ and I wonder if there’s a rule for how that should be done that I should know about.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:37 pm

Caoimhe wrote:I BELIEVE IN SECURITY!

In this base.

Of course, this is Somber writing her story. The end will likely be something few (if any) of us see coming.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:38 pm

Whatever it is, it'll be appropriate and have very little to do with what any of us have to say. And it will be great. :D
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Cptadder on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:41 pm

Super massive response post go!
O.Hinds I'll come back to our plane discussion later

Caoimhe wrote:http://pregnantscootaloo.tumblr.com/page/14 (the start)

I like the (intentional or not) allegories to single parent low income families struggling to get by, too. The author handles this quite well.
I'll give this a look, aside from Ask Vinyl and Octavia and Moonstuck I've found way to many pony tumbler blogs being very hit or miss.

SilentCarto wrote:
Not exactly. Terrible things happen to relatively innocent ponies all the time in these fics, and we're basically looking at each other, trying to determine if we're particularly jaded because we can't dredge up more than a shrug and, "Well, that's a pity."

Medley appeared in several scenes and had a few speaking lines, but she doesn't mean much to BJ -- or the audience -- beyond that. Compare that to the filly who got disintegrated in FOE; she never got a name and never appeared before that (specifically, that is -- she was clearly present under Velvet's shield at Arbu, but not singled out,) but we feel Littlepip's pain over that because it's an unintended consequence of her own actions.
I'll agree with Silent Cartos reasoning and add the nameless filly that died in Friendship city died as a direct result of Littlepips actions even if they were unintentional. Not only that but we had a few pages set with the scene being described, set up and them zap filly dust in a coke bottle.




SilentCarto wrote:
Eh, I have the same problem with that as I did with Red Eye. You can't base a society on evil tactics and expect it to turn out anything but evil.
You can, you just need three generations, but it tends to suck for those three generations. America has it's own host of dark periods in our history when great things were made by the sweat and tears of people who would not be beaten for refusing to work just arrested. Then you have places like Dubai which are constructed almost totally by immigrants who are treated like slaves even if they will simply be kicked out of the country with not a dime of their contract payed if they refuse to work not whipped for failing to work. Great things can come from terrible places but not without cost.

SilentCarto wrote:
More to the point, Bolos are giant tanks, and tanks are incapable of holding terrain. They're fantastic for destroying enemy forces in a stand-up fight, but when that fight is done, you need a low level of power projection spread across a vast area instead of immense power at a point. Boots on the ground is the only way to accomplish that.
And we even know the Ratio, you need one soldier for every thirty natives, it's one soldier for every twenty natives if the country has significant cultural differences so established during the successful occupations throughout history


OneMoreDaySK wrote:@Swicked
One by one the places that used to be brighter in Hoofington are extinguished. But to what ends? Brimstone Falls had a chance, and they got crushed. Flank got a chance, but they're pretty much holed up and dealing drugs again. Chapel was bright, but with the loss of both Priest and now Medley, how will it shine again?

Maybe when Blackjack stops the core she can starts a school of some sort. Finally talk to Octavia maybe?
It's obvious where the bright place in Hoofington will be once this is all said and done. That's the city of Hoofington itself, with BJ at the controls of the cities defenses with a host of pre-war battle robots that even Hellhounds step wide around and armed with giant air defenses lasers. All of those little settlements will be abandon once the city itself is secured.

Assuming Blackjack does not destroy it taking down the Eater of Souls, something tells me she's going to hit it with a hammer made of moonstone and half of Equestria is going to explode.


O. Hinds wrote:

If you (or anyone else) wants to keep helping, the change that finally got the intro to play was the "use facegen heads false" thing. My system specs are:
OS: 10.6.8
processor: 2.3 GHz Intel Core i5
memory: 4 GB
graphics: Intel HD Graphics 3000
I'm attempting to use this wrapper.

And yes, I know that, with this computer, I'm fighting an uphill battle, but I didn't let that stop me with Fo1, Fo2, and NV.
By Celestia's Beard, an Apple and it's a Intel HD card? Please tell me this is a laptop because if it's not I'll start a paypal on your behalf right now to raise the five dollars it will take to buy you a better video card.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by swicked on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:45 pm

Vergil wrote:
Caoimhe wrote:I BELIEVE IN SECURITY!

In this base.

Of course, this is Somber writing her story. The end will likely be something few (if any) of us see coming.

Someone, sometime, for some reason, posted that they had heard, or Somber had implied, or... I'm just going to stop using qualifiers, here. The point is I heard this at least third hand or so.
Anyway, the ending is going to be reminiscent of some anime. I think a popular one.
So... there's that, for a hint.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:49 pm

Well that's..

um...

...huh. How about that.

I'm no fan of anime so I can't pinpoint it but... hmmm, dunno what to think. Sounds like a "best not dwell on it" situation.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Cptadder on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:51 pm

Now onto my crazy Security theory.
The story is going one of two ways and I think I'll know which way things will go the instant the Goddess is dead. Because I have two competing theories about Blackjack's constant taint and radiation exposures and a lot depends on exactly how the Goddess death affects her directly. Saying she will have a happy ending or a sad ending or a sappy ending does not much matter if that goes long term wrong for her.

The obvious ending is that Blackjack runs out of enemies to fight after the big climatic battle that's going against her until the Dealer turns the defenses of the Core to her aid and zappy lasers ends her problems with lots of zapping. The less obvious ending is that Blackjack fights the Eater through it's five forms (Gotta have at least five forms if it's the end boss) along with her other two party members and they beat it down and beating it (Along with many psychedelic explosions) shuts down the choir of the discordant note.

The third option of course I won't speak about because depending on how the story ends depends a lot in my mind to the Fallout Luna from the death of the Goddess. To Littlepip she's a foe on the way to the end boss, to Blackjack she's a literal cancer growing in her mind that threatens to take from her everything she holds dear.

swicked wrote:
Someone, sometime, for some reason, posted that they had heard, or Somber had implied, or... I'm just going to stop using qualifiers, here. The point is I heard this at least third hand or so.
Anyway, the ending is going to be reminiscent of some anime. I think a popular one.
So... there's that, for a hint.
Somber directly said three thousand comments that the ending would be an anime style ending and implied that it would be of the giant battle where everyone pulls together variety to fight a big boss which we all guess is the Eater of Souls.


Last edited by Cptadder on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:51 pm

swicked wrote:
Vergil wrote:
Caoimhe wrote:I BELIEVE IN SECURITY!

In this base.

Of course, this is Somber writing her story. The end will likely be something few (if any) of us see coming.

Someone, sometime, for some reason, posted that they had heard, or Somber had implied, or... I'm just going to stop using qualifiers, here. The point is I heard this at least third hand or so.
Anyway, the ending is going to be reminiscent of some anime. I think a popular one.
So... there's that, for a hint.

Well that's vaguely specific.

...specifically vague?

Eh, it's a thing.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:54 pm

Cptadder wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:

If you (or anyone else) wants to keep helping, the change that finally got the intro to play was the "use facegen heads false" thing. My system specs are:
OS: 10.6.8
processor: 2.3 GHz Intel Core i5
memory: 4 GB
graphics: Intel HD Graphics 3000
I'm attempting to use this wrapper.

And yes, I know that, with this computer, I'm fighting an uphill battle, but I didn't let that stop me with Fo1, Fo2, and NV.
By Celestia's Beard, an Apple and it's a Intel HD card? Please tell me this is a laptop because if it's not I'll start a paypal on your behalf right now to raise the five dollars it will take to buy you a better video card.

Makes me think of this:

Not that you're being condescending. I just love the comic. (And really, I do agree on the Intel GPU. Their integrated graphics is improving, but I don't think I'd ever want to game on one. And I just don't see the point in not going Nvidia (or maybe AMD) for independent graphics.)


Last edited by Icy Shake on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:55 pm

I'm still voting for existisitential Twin Peaks-esque mindgame climax, of course I of course like to think of the story behind the words and the setting but oh well!

I'm high as fuck on allergy medicine so we'll see if I go nuts over theories tonight.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Cptadder on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:03 pm

Icy Shake wrote:
Cptadder wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:

If you (or anyone else) wants to keep helping, the change that finally got the intro to play was the "use facegen heads false" thing. My system specs are:
OS: 10.6.8
processor: 2.3 GHz Intel Core i5
memory: 4 GB
graphics: Intel HD Graphics 3000
I'm attempting to use this wrapper.

And yes, I know that, with this computer, I'm fighting an uphill battle, but I didn't let that stop me with Fo1, Fo2, and NV.
By Celestia's Beard, an Apple and it's a Intel HD card? Please tell me this is a laptop because if it's not I'll start a paypal on your behalf right now to raise the five dollars it will take to buy you a better video card.

Makes me think of this:

Not that you're being condescending. I just love the comic. (And really, I do agree on the Intel GPU. Their integrated graphics is improving, but I don't think I'd ever want to game on one. And I just don't see the point in not going Nvidia (or maybe AMD) for independent graphics.)
Guilty as charged, but in this case I'm serious as it literally does cost five dollars to buy a better graphics card than an Intel HD 3000. The Intel HD 4000 is 56% better pound for pound than the Intel HD 3000 and it literally costs 4$ more on the chips where you get a choice. If not then you need 20$ for a decent discrete video card from a generation back that walks all over a HD 3000.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:05 pm

Icy Shake wrote:
Chapter 50 edits:

It wasn’t just that she looked like Rainbow Dash; she had every bit the strength and vigor of Rainbow Dash in her youth.

Every bit of? This could be another case where I’m just unfamiliar with one form of an idiom or phrase.


One thing was for sure: no matter what happened between Glory and I, Octavia wouldn’t be left in the corner of my bedroom.

Glory and me, I think.


“What else happened?” she asked as she put her hoof on mine.

Glory didn’t say anything. Her eyes were closed as she wept. But she kept her hooves on mine.
Don’t know how much you care about this sort of thing.


Still, I smiled at her; Glory -- who’d had her cutie mark burned off both her flanks and barely said three cross words -- was angry.

“Well, we need water pressure, and for that we need volume and elevation–or the right kinds of pumps, but I don’t know where we’d get those–and for that we need pipe but I have no idea where the pipes are buried or where the shutoffs are or anything.”

No real, immediate problem here, but getting the double-hyphens changed to en-dashes is something to keep in mind for when the physical printing is done, when I assume the work would be done in something more friendly than Google Docs. And consistently having the sequence be “word–space–en-dash–space–word” or “word–en-dash–word” would be preferable to using both (if sticking with en-dashes for this sort of thing rather than em-, I'd suggest “word–space–en-dash–space–word,” but that's neither here nor there).


We’re not in Stable 99 anymore,” he said with a small frown. He looked at me, as if struggling for what he should say next.

I think this might work better as “searching for” or “struggling to find/decide/determine what”, since that ties in better with the looking, and I would tend to associate struggling for something to be struggling on its behalf, rather than struggling to achieve/make progress with it.


Dilute it, bury it; it just stayed around poisoning and poisoning and poisoning.

This sentence seems a little off to me, first with the unusual list construction prior to the semicolon, and then with the mismatched tenses, starting with present tense as the condition and moving on to past tense for the effect. If you see where I’m coming from, maybe consider if you like the sound of something like “Dilute it or bury it, it just stayed around…/it’d just stay around…” or even something like “Diluted or buried, it just stayed around…”, if not, no problem.


Understand that while you are a surrogate and may get attached to your infant, the legal rights remain-
I really didn’t need that right--
“Yeah, I keep wanting to see you, but between the fighting, my own projects, and Goldenblood’s scheduling, I never get a-“
“Look, Pinkie, I know you don’t like Goldenblood, but you can’t just accuse–“
“And I don’t care what Twilight says-“
I didn’t deserve to--
“We need to get you to safety. I know the Ministry of Awesome is going to want to hear about-”
“And I don’t care what Twilight says-“

As above, these are more a formatting issue for the print version, where the best choice to indicate the cutoff at the end would probably be an em-dash (and for the ones in quotes, forcing close-quote marks where some are currently open-quote).


PS: Did you know Cadance had another foal?

In 49 it was spelled 'Cadence'.


All that mattered was that we were together; even if I was the last person in Equestria anypony should possibly be with.

This could be a comma, but it looks like Somber really likes the '[sentence]; [descriptive fragment].' construction, so whatever.


There were crows’ feet in the corners of her eyes.

Doing a quick look, it seems that “crow’s feet” is the preferred spelling, but I could certainly be wrong on that.


Cooking?!
This is just an aside: I love interrobangs. I just wish the single-character interrobang was a standard, widely-accepted glyph.


I froze in place, then backed towards a door that was open a crack.

This should probably be “Marigold froze…” since it’s in an orb and the verb is not a passive, observation-based action.


She stopped at a T and looked left and right, glancing behind her before darting down to the right.

…glancing behind herself…

She raced across the room, not daring to glance behind her any more.

…glace behind herself…


I sighed, trying to think of adding the one part I had omitted in my tale: my new connection to the Goddess.

It seems clear that she can think of adding it, but just cannot actually get the words out; perhaps instead “to think of how to add…” or “I sighed, thinking of adding the one…”


I’m pretty sure now the answer is really ‘none of the above!’.

I’m not sure on the conventions here, but having those consecutive marks seems off.



The post office had gotten a bit cluttered since the last time I’d been in here. The space behind the counter was nearly a solid wall of packing crates and boxes overflowing with plunder from Blueblood Manor. The feral ghoul population had kept it safe from looters, leaving it to be picked clean by Chapel’s intrepid Crusaders. Anything of even passing value that hadn’t decayed had been brought here.
There was a little sign that read ‘ring bell if it makes you feel better.’ I looked at the brass bell on the counter and tapped it. Nothing. I hit the little button on top repeatedly, but aside from a muted and oddly unsatisfying tapping within, nothing. I sighed and stretched up to try and peer over the crates of silver candlesticks and stacks of porcelain. There was nothing for it. “Charity?” I called out.

This looks like it should be two paragraphs, separated between “brought here.” and “There was.” Either that, or there is an extraneous line break between the sentences instead of a space.


“Look out,” I shouted, but in the bedlam nopony took notice.
I know it’s bad form to overuse exclamation points, but I think one could be spared after a shouted “Look out” . [Just to be clear, that's mostly a joke.]


All the Crusaders. Harpica, the ghoul pegasus holding the undead filly Lacunae had saved. The workers who were complete strangers looked on impassively as the hero of Hoofington failed before their eyes. P-21 holding a pitying Scotch Tape, the filly’s designs and plans getting ruined in the rain. Even Caprice and Charity side by side, the former wary and the latter scornful, watched me carefully. Lacunae stood beside Sekashi and the mournful Majina, Rampage, and the stoic Dealer before the zebra’s little house.

This inconsistency might have been intentional, but some of the sentences were in the simple past tense, while others followed “[person] … ing-form verb…”, and I think it might read better if they were all the same, rather than alternating back and forth.


And no matter how I kicked myself for Medley; for not being able to save her… it wouldn’t change that.
Semicolon should be comma or ellipsis.


Something vitally important and wrong, but that I couldn’t actually remember it.

I think the “it” is extraneous, and probably shouldn’t be there.


“What the hell is that stripe doing here?” one soldiermare asked in a murmur.
Most of the soldiers were paying attention, but the soldier mare who been talking before did so with a poorly concealed sneer.

I think one soldier-mare is probably supposed to match the form of the other.


“Sir, yes sir!” the soldiers said in unison.
...
“Yes Ma’am, Captain Grizzly.

Are the capitalization rules for ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ different?


She must have been moving for at least hour; every now and then she could see the soldiers in the distance trying to pick their way through the rain and mud and making terrible time at it.

“…at least an hour”.


The machineguns had ripped a hole through her combat armor and punched clear into her chest.

The other cases in the chapter used “machine guns”.


My whole head felt like it’d been ripped open too.

Ripped open, too.


On one last note, I saw that sometimes phrases in single quotes ended like ‘. and other times like .’ and I wonder if there’s a rule for how that should be done that I should know about.
Ah, thank you.

"Every bit the" is, as far as I know, a valid and relatively common phrase, so it appears that there's a dialect difference here.

"My whole head felt like it’d been ripped open too."
This was, if I remember correctly, one of those sentences the wording of which we argued about, and I think that it might be better if I don't alter it now.

Cptadder wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:

If you (or anyone else) wants to keep helping, the change that finally got the intro to play was the "use facegen heads false" thing. My system specs are:
OS: 10.6.8
processor: 2.3 GHz Intel Core i5
memory: 4 GB
graphics: Intel HD Graphics 3000
I'm attempting to use this wrapper.

And yes, I know that, with this computer, I'm fighting an uphill battle, but I didn't let that stop me with Fo1, Fo2, and NV.
By Celestia's Beard, an Apple and it's a Intel HD card? Please tell me this is a laptop because if it's not I'll start a paypal on your behalf right now to raise the five dollars it will take to buy you a better video card.
Yeah, laptop. Annoyingly, my old computer (a 13 inch MacBook, as opposed to my current 13 inch MacBook Pro) had a NVidia card, and in some ways buying a newer and ostensibly higher-quality computer was a downgrade.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:10 pm

You should just dual boot or try to use Parallels for it.

My Macbook air from last year had the same card and the performance was pretty poor (but usable on low settings for the one game a year I play) but the 2012 Macbook Air I use now has the Intel HD 4000 and I can run just about any game.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:11 pm

the choir of the discordant note.

Sounds like a band name or a really ominous term for artillery bombardment. Big mac

What discordant note anyway?

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:16 pm

Also, my computer's a model 8,1, which predates the Intel HD Graphics 4000.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:19 pm

Yeah you should really just dual boot. I tried running Mass Effect back in the day through OS X using wrappers or whatever and it was a pain in the butt (espically since I don't know much about computers). I'd definitely just dual boot for it. Install Mountain Lion while you're at it!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Downloaded Skill on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:30 pm

Wow with all this talk of aircraft and computer parts it feels like I joined just to lurk again. No amount of Google fu will allow me to contribute to those discussions.

Anyways my two theories for the endings since its something I can actually talk / speculate about.

1) Complete Downer ending. If it does end with the "Blackjack's army vs the Harbingers / Core denizens" that Adder talked about I have a feeling it will be built up as an inspiring story of an unlikely hero getting groups together that people considered irreconcilable and taking the fight to the core. Everyone will be hopeful and Glory / Blackjack will probably have a passionate pre-climax climax. Then the fateful day rolls around and it turns out the Core has secret defenses that wipe out Blackjack's team before the fight even begins. Somber does seem to enjoy torturing characters, what better way to cap off the story than by stamping out any hope of success at the last moment?

2) Victory at great cost. I feel that Blackjack will survive. She is the leader and she has all the unnatural augmentations that give her the edge over any opponent and continue despite injuries. She is physically strong, not mentally strong. Given the nature of the setting a clean, happy ending is unlikely. People Blackjack cares about will probably die. Glory and Lacunae are the most likely choices. This ending will probably stress how Blackjack can't do everything herself and has to sacrifice things other than herself to achieve goals. Outlook for the ending will be hopeful, but traumatic for Blackjack.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:33 pm

Caoimhe wrote:You should just dual boot or try to use Parallels for it.

My Macbook air from last year had the same card and the performance was pretty poor (but usable on low settings for the one game a year I play) but the 2012 Macbook Air I use now has the Intel HD 4000 and I can run just about any game.

Caoimhe wrote:Yeah you should really just dual boot. I tried running Mass Effect back in the day through OS X using wrappers or whatever and it was a pain in the butt (espically since I don't know much about computers). I'd definitely just dual boot for it.
That would require a copy of Windows, though, and I'd need to figure out either how to move files from the Mac side or how to get things set up from scratch on the Windows side.

Caoimhe wrote:Install Mountain Lion while you're at it!
I'm still holding out hope that 10.9... Though, doing more research now, it looks like they have sort of come to their senses and put a form of "Save as" back in. And Kronenberg did update his Wine package for Mountain Lion...
Well, I'm rather glad you brought this up, as it looks like I don't need to be nearly so afraid of Mountain Lion anymore. Still, if I may ask, how did you find the upgrade? How did it change your filesystem, and what programs no longer worked properly? Oh, and has vanilla iTunes moved the close/minimize/maximize buttons back to their proper places yet? I don't know if 109 works in Mountain Lion.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:39 pm

If you do get a copy of Windows, you can copy stuff from your Mac's drive to the Windows partition within Windows but not from OS X (something about the NTFS file system my brother told me about that doesn't let you go Mac > Windows for whatever reason).

I found the upgrade painless and everything I use (mostly word processing and desktop publishing for work and photoshop) transitioned fine. Only one program didn't work right and that was an ad blocker that was updated a few days later. I didn't notice very many changes or anything that prohibited me from doing things I normally do. If you haven't used Lion, full screen apps are great! You can basically slide between your most commonly used apps and it makes screen real estate a lot easier to manage.

Also my iTunes buttons are back at the upper left side. I remember they used to be vertically but dunno when they changed it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by OneMoreDaySK on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:44 pm

@Swicked
Wait, Gainax?! Well, at least there's no apparent way to fit in Gainaxing.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:47 pm

Caoimhe wrote:If you do get a copy of Windows, you can copy stuff from your Mac's drive to the Windows partition within Windows but not from OS X (something about the NTFS file system my brother told me about that doesn't let you go Mac > Windows for whatever reason).

I found the upgrade painless and everything I use (mostly word processing and desktop publishing for work and photoshop) transitioned fine. Only one program didn't work right and that was an ad blocker that was updated a few days later. I didn't notice very many changes or anything that prohibited me from doing things I normally do. If you haven't used Lion, full screen apps are great! You can basically slide between your most commonly used apps and it makes screen real estate a lot easier to manage.
Thanks; I no longer feel a sense of doom when I think about the need to eventually get a post-Snow-Leopard computer. Most of my remaining PowerPC applications are things that I don't really use much, anyway, or have found equal or better substitutes for.

Oh, I've heard that Mountain Lion handles hidden folders differently than Snow Leopard?

Caoimhe wrote:Also my iTunes buttons are back at the upper left side. I remember they used to be vertically but dunno when they changed it.
Ah, nice; I just found a hack online to put them back without waiting for Apple.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Cptadder on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:50 pm

Ironmonger wrote:

What discordant note anyway?
Did you forget the room, the room filled with the half melted remains of dozens of ponies merged with the stone after they opened up the shell of one of the "Silver bullets" at the very end of chapter 31, start of chapter 32?

Let me refresh your memory
32 wrote:
The walls, floor, ceiling... everything was moving. It was impossible to tell where
metal ended and flesh began. Eyes were bulging. Mouths were opened in one
long scream. There were organs between the equipment. Meaty appendages. . .
intestines. . . I clutched my stomach as I backed away. I felt. . . it felt like my insides
were moving! Like my tainted guts were trying to crawl right out my throat! I fought
for one moment and then puked on the inside of my helmet. It wasn’t bad compared
to what followed at the other end.

And worst of all, I wanted to join that scream. It scratched at my throat.
“Stop it!” I shouted as I tried to back away, but my limbs were stuck to the floor! No,
the floor was crawling up my legs! No! My legs were sinking into the floor! “Stop it,
please!” I begged. Then things got worse.

It stopped.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Caoimhe on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:53 pm

Re: Hidden Folders: Yeah, that's a thing. There's switches to get them back though.

chflags nohidden [folder] in terminal.app
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Ironmonger on Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:56 pm

Oh...THAT choir. How I wondered if Somber watched The thing 1982 when I read that scene.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Stringtheory on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:09 pm

O. Hinds wrote:
Caoimhe wrote:Yeah you should really just dual boot. I tried running Mass Effect back in the day through OS X using wrappers or whatever and it was a pain in the butt (espically since I don't know much about computers). I'd definitely just dual boot for it.
That would require a copy of Windows, though, and I'd need to figure out either how to move files from the Mac side or how to get things set up from scratch on the Windows side.
just pirate windows that's what I did, because a copy of windows is f***ing expensive and I didn't have the money
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:10 pm

Caoimhe wrote:Re: Hidden Folders: Yeah, that's a thing. There's switches to get them back though.

chflags nohidden [folder] in terminal.app
Ah, thanks. Where were the hidden folders' contents put after the switch, though?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Cptadder on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:11 pm

stringtheory wrote:
just pirate windows that's what I did, because a copy of windows is f***ing expensive and I didn't have the money
Sign up for a college course, go to their bookstore and buy a copy of windows and windows office for 20$ total, withdraw from the class. Congratulations you bought a new version of windows and office for 20$
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:11 pm

stringtheory wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:
Caoimhe wrote:Yeah you should really just dual boot. I tried running Mass Effect back in the day through OS X using wrappers or whatever and it was a pain in the butt (espically since I don't know much about computers). I'd definitely just dual boot for it.
That would require a copy of Windows, though, and I'd need to figure out either how to move files from the Mac side or how to get things set up from scratch on the Windows side.
just pirate windows that's what I did, because a copy of windows is f***ing expensive and I didn't have the money
Well, yeah. I'd still have to get a copy of Windows, though.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Katarn on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:11 pm

@PH ending
I want BJ to have happy ending...but as one detective have said "There are no happy endings." Though I see uncertain ending, where it's not clear if BJ died or survived...like 'the body never was found'


Last edited by Katarn on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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