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Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Tue Nov 26, 2013 11:59 pm

Ah, I see that MMMystery on the Friendship Express does present the interior of the locomotive in quite a curious manner. There are several problems, however. Firstly, even if we accept that the Friendship Express as portrayed in the show is of the same design as the train in the chapter, neglecting among other things the possibility of artistic license, the Friendship Express does not have a continuous enclosed corridor; part of the passage is open to the elements, which Murky makes no mention of. Secondly, while perhaps the large heart-shaped window on that locomotive might be the windscreen that the chapter mentions, I do not believe that Murky is tall enough to see through the curve dead-ahead through it. Even a pony of average height would be unable to get a forward view without rearing up.
Oh, yes, and I do not recall any of the show locomotives ever making an noise that could be described as "spooling up", certainly not while stationary.

InLucidReverie wrote:In addition, perhaps you aughta consider that the train may have been repurposed to run on slave corpses due to a lack of trade with zebra lands restricting coal accassability. ISAMYSTERY.

Maybe it's a furnace fed on unicorn horns.

EDIT: That's the real reason Unity isn't being sent unicorns. Grindstone minces them, feeds the meat to Brutus and uses the bones to power trains!
…I can only assume that these are meant to be jokes.

InLucidReverie wrote:I'm not entirely sure a one-off train journey that lasts a total of 2 pages (at best guess) is truly in need of such detailed analysis.

Fact is that you cannot expect Fuzzy to research trains for 2 pages of a journey that isn't about the train.... perhaps if this were being published then it would be worth more consideration.
Oh! Are you saying that the Fuzzy does not in fact have a sensible design for the locomotive, and that moreover the design is unimportant to the desired establishment of plot and setting? If so, that opens up the possibility of me moving past this by simply ignoring what's written and mentally substituting something that makes sense; I didn't want to do that before because I thought that it would both be somewhat rude to Fuzzy and make me miss out on part of the story. If this is unimportant and Fuzzy doesn't care, though…
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by InLucidReverie on Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:03 am

O. Hinds wrote:Oh!  Are you saying that the Fuzzy does not in fact have a sensible design for the locomotive, and that moreover the design is unimportant to the desired establishment of plot and setting?  If so, that opens up the possibility of me moving past this by simply ignoring what's written and mentally substituting something that makes sense; I didn't want to do that before because I thought that it would both be somewhat rude to Fuzzy and make me miss out on part of the story.  If this is unimportant and Fuzzy doesn't care, though…
I would say that it wasn't considered important enough to warrant research, yes. Can't describe EVERYTHING or we'd never move past the floorboards.

'...nails weathered in such a way that the red and grays mottle together into a weird funky green'

Honestly, you could have worked this out by simply reading on and considring the matter once again if it became relevant later on.


Last edited by InLucidReverie on Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:06 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:05 am

So I can just ignore it, then, without causing offense or missing anything?
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by InLucidReverie on Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:07 am

That would be a yes.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:07 am

Thank you very much!

Okay, I ought to be able to finish the chapter later tonight.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Admiral Stoic Rum on Wed Nov 27, 2013 2:00 am

O. Hinds wrote:So I can just ignore it, then, without causing offense or missing anything?
THATS WHAT I SAID ALL ALONG!
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Wed Nov 27, 2013 4:18 am

Sorry that this took so long! Things kept coming up to delay me.

Interestingly, it looks like, though Equestria may use Brunel track gauge, the loading gauge width is actually about the same as the standard width of North American passenger railcars, according to Wikipedia, and actually narrower than most North American loading gauges. I'm bringing this up because I think that this fascinating locomotive might be a good place to start with the design. Making it liquid- or gas-fired can eliminate the forward section, I expect, and allow more flexibility in firebox design; that, combined with making the locomotive smaller, ought to provide room for a narrow corridor… Hm, yes, I like this idea! And am very, very mad at Wildcard.

Right, anyway, I don't actually need the details of the design, so where did we leave off?
Spoiler:

Ah, yes, and Protege is the one to save Murky. :)

See, this sort of thing, Chirpy, is why you weren't supposed to come along on this trip.

"Then...then we learned what makes archways stay up and how to make safety rails really strong!”
Forget it. That decided it. Red Eye was the best thing to ever happen to the wasteland if that last thing was what he was teaching kids."
:D

"A few little smiles grew amongst my friends. I saw Protégé chuckle lightly. The feeling at having said something to make that happen made my chest swell. Murky the comedian! I could perform in Tenpony! Draw pictures by day and make everypony laugh by night and be happy forever! Maybe I could even get a show on the radio and tell jokes to make my hero laugh, wherever she was. Eeeehehe!"
Hopefully it does turn out that well. I can see it suiting you. :)

Ah, yes, Protege's cutie mark! I'd forgotten that I'd been wondering about that…

"I saw her already beside Brimstone, grinning madly at me. I know exactly why."
Heeheeheeheehee. :D

"Just like you had been for me so many times before..."
Aye, Unity's role in the story is interesting. She appears so little and is, all other things considered, quite a minor character, but she has such a large effect.

Ah, and we're getting the cutie mark story now! As, when viewed through the shipping goggles, pillow talk, no less. :)

Interesting… That story could be taken a variety of different ways.

" I held a hoof up. “Um...I-I...”"
And Murky does a Fluttershy impression again. :)

"He hadn't asked for them back. By my logic, that meant they were mine now!" :)

"Can feel the itchy mane and the twitchy hoof and all the little signs of a sneaky thing!"
Oh, so that's what that comment meant.

Hm, nice use of appropriate camouflage and atmosphere to use it in.

"Ahead of me, I saw Grindstone burst out into the open, the donkey standing out amongst the others. "
So… He's just… Standing there? In the open? Can you say "sniper bait"? :D

Oh. Um… The rescue appears to have hit a snag.

Oh, no, just mistaken identity! :)

…Um, guys? I appreciate that you've a lot to talk about, but… maybe do it after escaping, rather than in the middle of the enemy camp during a battle?

"“Your sister you told me about, huh?” Unity smiled widely. “Glad to get to meet her if she's the one coming to bail us out!”"
…I'm getting a feeling of foreboding…

Ah, good, it was a humorous contradiction, not a "Wait, but I swore a blood feud against you" contradiction.

"Behind it, I saw Grindstone hobbling with the remainder of the slavers, his eyes meeting Unity's and my own."
Aww, so the sniping opportunity was missed.
And there we go! Another good chapter, I think, despite the little hiccup over the design of the locomotive.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Wed Nov 27, 2013 4:18 am

Admiral Stoic Rum wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:So I can just ignore it, then, without causing offense or missing anything?
THATS WHAT I SAID ALL ALONG!
Sorry. I just didn't think it likely that Fuzzy simply didn't have a design.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Admiral Stoic Rum on Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:30 pm

You're hilarious Hinds
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Wed Nov 27, 2013 8:38 pm

...Thanks?
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:01 pm

I'm almost a fifth of the way through the chapter but here's the stuff I think are errors:

" Others, we were worried, casting eyes over old documents and failing to find our way free."
"Worried others casting eyes over old documents might find our way free," maybe? Or "Worried others were casting eyes over old documents but failing to find our way free."?
The line sounds, to me, like he's saying he was worried others were looking at the document and failing to find their escape route, like... he wanted others to find their escape route, which he clearly does not.

"I couldn't help but feel a pang of envy to have such a cosy little homestead all to herself..." ->"...a pang of envy that she got to have such a cosy little homestead to herself..." maybe?
"I could see little crayon drawings across the lower walls of the exterior walls.  " -> The lower part of the exterior walls, maybe? Or are there multiple exterior walls and some are lower than others?

"repeatedly squeaking about a 'toast up.'"...wha?
"Then up ahead there was another wicked snap of a hunting rifle" -> "Then, up ahead, there was another wicked snap of a hunting rifle"?
"It was the sudden shock of being plunged into a freezing cold." -> "It was the sudden shock of being plunged into the freezing cold."?
"I had to fight now to simply grab my sister again as I saw the sight before us." -> I'm pretty sure that "now" was meant to be a "not". He's certainly not fighting to grab her.

"Yet even with all its sweating heat" -> sweltering heat?
“Screw what that old cook says. " ...coot. Old coot.

"We talked of a few other things, but time, I couldn't help but raise the topic." -> but after a time?

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Derpmind on Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:49 pm

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Moodyman90 on Thu Dec 19, 2013 11:52 pm

I stopped being lazy and read through the new chapter yesterday.

I like Unity, I do, and I can see she's vital to the plot and may or may not have a connection to Protege, but I'm still a Sunny Number Seven shipper.

Don't have much to say about the chapter other than I liked it and kinda funny how it focused so much on the cold when I myself was unable to get warm while reading it. I'd handled all the snow worse than the others haha.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:47 pm

I think this is old, but I don't remember it being posted here:

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:27 pm

Hah!
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Thu Dec 26, 2013 9:10 pm

The original pic has been around a few months, but this edit of it I have never seen before. That's hilarious and adorable. Sweetie Belle

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Derpmind on Mon Jan 27, 2014 6:21 pm

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Mon Jan 27, 2014 7:54 pm

He showed me that the other day.

...Glimmerbutt. Sweetie Belle 

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Tue Feb 04, 2014 8:27 pm

Lookie what I found.
Spoiler:
Source

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Admiral Stoic Rum on Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:46 pm

RoboRed wrote:Lookie what I found.
Spoiler:
Source

excellent
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:09 am

50,632 words...


...You hear that sound, Fuzzy? That's the sound of my head cracking wide open and my brain running away. asdfawefafgsdgasdgsfadffsfsgs

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Admiral Stoic Rum on Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:03 am

RoboRed wrote:50,632 words...


...You hear that sound, Fuzzy? That's the sound of my head cracking wide open and my brain running away. asdfawefafgsdgasdgsfadffsfsgs

haha...tis a drop in the bucket compared to the million word 208 chapter story I read over the past week
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Feb 15, 2014 4:53 am

Wow, a long one this time.
Spoiler:

Unity's ability to detect signatures rather fits with Murky's reactions to remnants of the past.

A peat fire, this high up a mountain?  And the fuel stocks outside were wood…  Very curious.

Hm, and Aurora's still around?  I was beginning to suspect.  Perhaps she's been maintaining the fire with magic?

…That is Shackles's plan?  I believe that his expectations of Murky are rather flawed…

Oh, also, this solution is rather nasty, but, if you've no other options… just kill Unity (or Murky, maybe, but I think that he could be replaced and wouldn't work anyway).  They can't duplicate her, after all.  You could also use her as a hostage.  But probably none of you are pragmatic enough to think of it, let alone do it…

Well, Ragini's gone… a pity.  Murkini is now rather significantly more implausible.  :)  More immediately, it also disables the heroes' Plan A…

Something was definitely off about Aurora's ghoulification…

"What Grizzly said, to stop this the only way he can!  They don't care if we don't get away...they only want to stop Shackles having the power to take over from Red Eye!"
…Or, you know, shoot Unity.  I realize that it's unpleasant, but it's a lot easier and probably more likely to succeed.  If you're really so desperate and determined…

Murky, the reason not to destroy the orb is not that it will activate the portal to get you out of Fillydelphia.  There will be other opportunities to escape, and I think that there may be some slight problems with a plan that involves deliberately helping your enemy activate a mind control machine.  The problem is that, after destroying the orb, you'd probably want to wait just long enough to see the look on Shackles's face before jumping off the mountain and trying to glide (or just shooting yourself), since he would then have no reason not to inflict on you every hideous thing he could think of in revenge for spoiling his years of planning.

"We can all escape forever, live somewhere better!"
Later:
ZAP!  "We did it, everyone!  We stopped Shackles, got through the portal, and -- oh, it looks like the zebra installation that the portal used to connect to is now a heavily irradiated lake filled with horrible tentacle monsters."
Protege isn't the only one who needs to be concerned about possibly irrational hopes, Murky…

Sigh…  Murky…  I realize that you have many good reasons to not be thinking rationally at the moment, but it still annoys me.

Huh.  Okay, that was actually clever (though you both lose and gain points for having apparently only thought of it on the spot).  Now let's see if you can pull this off…
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:12 pm

Gritty-style drawing of Murk and Glimmer:
Spoiler:
Source

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:16 pm

Huh, I totally forgot about this.
Looks like my last review was 21b. That's probably where I left off.
I wonder why I stopped in the first place, though...

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:47 pm

You should remedy this situation.

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:18 pm

Read through 22. Quickly :P
After all, doesn't seem like Fuzzy is checking this thread, anymore. No reason to review.
Wildcard isn't very good at coming off as "random". He follows orders very well and never really seems to become distracted.
His raiders are even worse at it, though. They talk the talk but certainly don't walk the walk.
I prefer my crazy with actual crazy.
...though I suppose being a serial killer should be crazy enough by our standards.

Decent chapter, though; certainly didn't bore me.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Derpmind on Mon Mar 31, 2014 9:48 pm

I'm not sure I've really been taking him too seriously when I read it, so I might be wrong here, but: I think the point is more to freak your enemies out than to actually just be crazy for crazy's sake. Wildcard and his crew are all about projecting presence and getting under everyone's mental hide. That's not to say the drugs they take all the time aren't real, just that they deal with crazy the same way the deal with danger: Headfirst along the edge.

Sorta like how Pinkie Pie isn't supposed to be a lolrandom character...
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Mon Mar 31, 2014 9:59 pm

Derpmind wrote:I'm not sure I've really been taking him too seriously when I read it, so I might be wrong here, but: I think the point is more to freak your enemies out than to actually just be crazy for crazy's sake. Wildcard and his crew are all about projecting presence and getting under everyone's mental hide. That's not to say the drugs they take all the time aren't real, just that they deal with crazy the same way the deal with danger: Headfirst along the edge.

Sorta like how Pinkie Pie isn't supposed to be a lolrandom character...
Pinkie still gets distracted constantly or goes off on tangents. She's impulsive and creative. If you tell Wildcard to guard a room, he'll guard it, he'll just find some way to look crazy while never leaving his post. If he's told to attack, he'll even come up with a decent plan that doesn't involve eyepatches and bodysuits, let alone a toothless alligator. It'll be pretty dangerous, sure... but that's the point. To put the good guys in danger. Besides, Wildcard didn't want to try and fight armed slavers plus Brimstone and his new crew is a straight-up fight. That would be suicide. Wildcard's too sane for that.
Basically, Wildcard reminds me of the joker from batman 2 if the joker had just been in it for the money and obeyed the crime bosses to the letter without any kind plans or objectives of his own.
Basically, boring.

Brutus looks to be pretty cool, though.

swicked
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:28 pm

I wonder how things would have turned out if Brim hadn't filled his command structure with a showpony, a jester, a carney and an actor.

Anyway, I think the reason I stopped reading for a while was due to getting fed up with Chainlink constantly making mistakes and never, ever really suffering for them. I mean, sure, Brim beat him up... but there was no real consequences. No loss of face or progress. He loses slaves? He's given more. Slavers? Plenty where they came from. Anyone that stays loyal is untouchable as long as they are useful, any who rebel feed right into his plans.
Chainlink isn't even clever about it. He's an idiot, at the end of the day. Everyone evil loves him, though. How could they not? He's the slaver god. He never learns anything and the worst that happens is he loses Murky for the umpteenth time.
It feels like he's being railroaded to his plan's completion, delayed only as much as is necessary.
I can't respect that in a story and, as much as I've complained about it, nothing has been done.
I'm just tired of it. Reading faster should help, though. Less time to think critically.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

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