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Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:22 am

If I wasn't enjoying I wouldn't be reading, I assure you. I stopped reading heroes for that reason... Silver Storm was absolutely frustrating beyond reason. MNS is still wonderful :)
My favorite chapter so far was the one where Murky was going through the stable with the audio log running. That was simply fantastic.

This was a good chapter. It had good direction and had me interested up until the Twilight part, as I've said.

The biggest thing I'd change about it is making Sunny look more awful. She just doesn't seem hurt enough for someone that SHOT Chainlink and was Murky's friend when he decided to disobey the master and run away. He could be really, really hurting her, and then imply to Murky that he'd set her free, or at least stop torturing her, if Murky would do X and end up back in Chainlink's control. It struck me as just so weird for her to be so minimally harmed.

I'm generally a villain-lover. I love a good villain. I don't particularly see any, here. I am generally critical of heroes and more-so of villains I don't think are behaving correctly. It's really just the question of whether or not they are doing what I would do in their position... which has nothing to do with whether they are being written correctly.

Overall, again, I'm loving this story. I'm just not always great at saying that.
I also began the review with stating that my mood was already angry/frustrated, because I figured that might leak into the review ^_^;;

Oh, and I'm glad you liked the sketches. Being a non-artist I sorta try to give back when/how I can :P

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Derpmind on Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:52 am

I don't think there's anything OOC at all about Twilight having regrets and fears about the future. Not only is there more to Twilight as a character than her work at her ministry, if she did become so one-dimensional as to only devote herself completely to the war effort than she never would have created anything like the Gardens megaspell. It might be a little implausible that Twilight would dwell so openly about her worries, (and that might have jarred some out of the story,) but Fuzzy does do a good job at having Twilight express what she would say if she decided to made this kind of message. Also, don't forget that the Fallout: Equestria mane-6 change through the years of the war, so this could easily be long before Twilight even conceived of Gardens being possible.

Really, people, hate is such a strong word, and in the end it's more Twilight Sparkle! Everyone knows that Twilight is best pony. I think there's much more worthy criticism than simply saying that the orb shouldn't exist at all. Maybe it's too long or too honest, or the setup could use some extra work to make it more plausible, or something else. If this really does give some a knee-jerk reaction of Don't Read, than either you're being too close-minded about characterization or there's some problem in the execution of the writing that could be improved upon.

P.S. For the PH crowd, I've completely fallen behind the thread. I'm on page 21, while everyone else is at page 31, so it might be a while yet before I catch up enough to post anything there again.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:00 am

Ah, that's good to hear, swicked. Just felt for some clarification.

Shackles as a villain is very much considered the 'primary antagonist' at this point, but what we're seeing right now is his planning, his ambitions and his threats (even if he doesn't personally threaten in speech). He grows as a villain in much the same way Murky is growing in independance.

That's the idea, anyway, to give an idea of story direction.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:40 am

...growing how? What's driving him to grow as a character? Or do you just mean his ambitions... aka he's growing in clout? Because redeye would prefer protege to shackles and would be more likely to appoint ponies like protege as his higher officers over ones like shackles.
I still find it funny how he asserts his authority by screaming at others and raging about. I don't see him as management material. Most of his "connections" probably hate him, just waiting for him to screw up so they can take him out :P

And I wouldn't so much not like the orb to exist at all as I would of wanted it a little more toned down. A little more hopeful with doubts, maybe. Twilight was presenting a problem without having a solution. She's just a bit long-winded and depressed about her world. If it was ever released... Eh.
I didn't hate it, I just didn't agree with it. It's hardly a fic-breaker.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Moodyman90 on Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:21 pm

May Fuzzy correct me if I'm way off, but I think he meant Shackle is planning on a total take over. To enslave all the ponies just to have them under his hoof for the pure sake of being over them rather then for effectively free labor, what little food and medical treatment Redeye entrust his workers to give slaves aside.
In short and with that in mind, I see Shackle as one of the worst of the worst the Wasteland has produced. Redeye is bad but he enslaves ponies for a goal, Shackle wants to enslave them just to make their life a living hell, to prolong the suffering the wasteland already causes and make it worse.

Once again, Fuzzy correct me if I'm wrong. In fact, correct me even if I'm right so as to avoid spoilers.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:32 pm

Consider yourself corrected. ^^

But I will say, Shackles is much more of a symbol than a fully fleshed character. He has his history, his personality, his usual stuff like any character, but his presence is as slavery itself, rather than as a reason for it.

However, I will not say whether you are right or not, absolutely won't say, in fact. ^^
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Cptadder on Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:31 pm

Giant massive reply post GO!
swicked wrote:@adder
I agree about the Twilight speech. It always seemed to me like she and Applejack were the most devoted to the war, though we rarely got Rainbowdash's take on things.
She wanted to win. She wanted to serve the princesses. She might have expressed a couple doubts, leading to projects like the gardens of equestria, but she would have likely rationalized that they mostly served to heal the land following the war.
Exactly
Nothing in FoE ever hinted that Twilight was nursing such massive self recriminations and why she would tell them to Aurora Star of all ponies. Let me be blunt but who the fuck is Aurora Star to Twilight? I have a hard time picturing Twilight giving such a speech to Fluttershy the friend least likely to judge and comfort her or Celestia the Goddess best able to tell her everything is going to be all right. Could Twilight have had personal issues with the war? Sure she could have... but she is a pony of action, had she had such deep seated issues with the war itself she would act, she is massively obsessive compulsive after all and this is the biggest thing in the world that's just "slightly" off kilter. I do not see the Twilight of this memory orb spending her entire time with the Alicorn Creation Project, I don't see her slavishly devoted to a single purpose because if she was worried enough about Taint to create Garden's of Equestria I don't see her stopping there, she would have been focused on every aspect on a "what if the bombs get used" which is what the Sanitizer implies, there should have been two hundred projects not two.

swicked wrote:

It's just too long. Way too long. And entirely damning if they had won the war. I didn't even read it all... I kinda got the gist pretty soon in and started skimming. It's just way too much on the same subject and struck me as out of character for her, especially to be recording of her own will with only the promise that they wouldn't look at it before returning it to her.
I don't want to go on and on about this, though, so... yeah. I just didn't like it. It was gimmicky.
Again, as I said before, who the hell is Aurora Star to Twilight to trust this recording which would destroy her ability to affect the war in any meaningful way, would have her bounced out of her own ministry in an instant and possibly end up in the MoM's not so tender hands.

Fuzzy wrote:

As for Shackles, you are correct that he isn't a directly combat worthy character. He can lord over weak slaves and has a lot of connections that grant him an immense amount of influence amongst the slavers. He creates misery without obvious signs, as he did with Murk. A lot of the real abuse he dishes out is a very 'behind closed doors' thing that is felt, but not seen. That's just the direction of the character, although I do understand that many people are intent on wishing harm on him. Rest assured, his presence in the story is rather adament and will continue to be so.
Yeah I'd prefer if it if he got a boat or traincar dropped on him soonest or Sunny gelded him but I understand the concept of the long running antagonist.

Fuzzy wrote:

But yes, primarily I'm still just asking "Despite your mentions, are you still enjoying this story?" I recall your comments from before when you were very happy with things and I'm sure you'll understand that I'm sitting here wondering if the story is affecting those who enjoyed it in negative ways or not. Thanks so much for your amount of feedback.
Like I said in my own comments I enjoyed the story right up until Twilight's speech, I had an issue or two with Murky himself (The same issue I've always had with him as you know) but if I scrub Twilight's little speech from this chapter then it's a good chapter with my second favorite robot Mister Peace and Murky's new sidekick as the dynamic comedy duo.



And last @Derpmind
Remember Gardens came about after the Megaspells in some way as a direct reaction to the Megaspells, Twilight saw what Megaspells could do in theory and reacted to it. Before that any war was a conventional war and the Zebra's nor the Ponies seem the type to chop down the crops of the opposite side, burn their towns and salt their fields. The distance between both sides means once side would be destroyed militarily and be forced back within their boarders, their natural resources as reparations for the winners. If the losing side got uppity about being forced to hand over their gems (Ponies lose) or coal(Zebra's lose) a show of force and some occupation could sort things out British style. Until the the Megaspells there was no reason to think like how Twilight's little speech indicates.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:58 pm

I guess the most I can say related to the orb situation and why it would have been 'trusted' to Aurora Star, is simply that at no point does the story say that it was. Aurora said that she would have to leave it, while it can easily be assumed that it was recorded and left, there is no abject confirmation that this is the case.

Aurora Star did not know what Twilight was going to put in it, so how it ended up on her desk (especially given the contents that I am sure and agree on that Twilight would want to keep to herself) is as much the mystery as anything.

That's aaaaall I'll say, and I hope it helps ease some people's views, even if Twilight's exact message is still a little debated on personality. (Which I fully respect) ^^
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Thu Jul 19, 2012 1:23 am

Moodyman90 wrote:May Fuzzy correct me if I'm way off, but I think he meant Shackle is planning on a total take over. To enslave all the ponies just to have them under his hoof for the pure sake of being over them rather then for effectively free labor, what little food and medical treatment Redeye entrust his workers to give slaves aside.
In short and with that in mind, I see Shackle as one of the worst of the worst the Wasteland has produced. Redeye is bad but he enslaves ponies for a goal, Shackle wants to enslave them just to make their life a living hell, to prolong the suffering the wasteland already causes and make it worse.

Once again, Fuzzy correct me if I'm wrong. In fact, correct me even if I'm right so as to avoid spoilers.

...no, Red Eye would be disinclined to have any slaver openly in charge of his operations that wasn’t convinced of his vision. That's why ponies like Protégé rise through the ranks so much faster than ponies like Chainlink could. Chainlink is effective enough as a pit boss but given too much power he'd become more of a threat than would be acceptable. A threat to Red Eye's vision and a threat to his other operations (as it seems to hardly matter to Chainlink that the slaves are productive... he just wants them to suffer), and he'd probably just be removed if he tried to muscle in too much. Red eye needs to be surrounded by people that he can trust to follow his vision. To be able to meet with the foals and lead them towards his vision of the future.
Plus, in general, I just don’t see Red Eye liking the guy, let alone being unaware of his behavior like Protégé often pretends to be.
Besides, it’s not like Chainlink would ever have a chance at actually replacing Red Eye. Red eye rose to power on the constant lookout for assassins and those wanting to take his empire. He's not falling to someone so overt. He doesn't even visit a slave like Murky without a dozen griffin guards.

Anyway, Fuzzy, I just want to say again how cool it is that I get to chat with the author of a fic I like so much... let alone that said author cares that I, individually, am reading and enjoying the fic... if I'm reading your concerns over my supposed frustrations correctly...

So... I wrote two more sketches as, hopefully, a decent "thanks".
Spoiler:
Weathervane: “What the hell, Murky? Can’t you go eight hours without nearly dying? Even the dead need sleep.”
Murky: “I’m sorry, it was just awful. Why does this happen to me? What did I do to deserve it? My life is just a series of-”
Weathervane: “Yeah, yeah. It’s been an awful day, but you know what would make mine a lot better?” *ZAP*
Murky: *glows for a second, then passes out*
Weathervane: “Aww, you DO care!” *proceeds with doctoring*
Glimmer: “Gezz, doc... Could you teach me that?”
Weathervane: “Hmmm, let me think... no. No, I think I will NOT be teaching you a potential daterape spell.”
Glimmer: “Doctor… I’m offended! How could you think I would use a legitimate medical spell to take advantage of some nice, lanky buck over by the blackmarket whose flank’s been just begging to be- ah, darn it.”
Weathervane: “Look, I’ll tell you what I tell every two-bit slaver that comes to me looking for an aphrodisiac when I’m in the middle of saving someone’s life. Bessie shit. Get it fresh, filter out the solid parts and take it orally as often as you can manage. After you get past the tolerance there’s nothing better to get the ol’ pheromones going.”
Glimmer: “Uh... and that really works?”
Weathervane: “Heh, no.”

***

Note: This one’s kinda dark, but I can’t imagine Brimstone’s sense of humor as being anything but this.
Glimmer: *moving around behind Barb during roll call*
Barb: “...what are you doing?”
Glimmer: “Oh, nothing, Brim was just telling me the reason they call you Barb and, I gotta say, wow. I mean WOW, I literally cannot see it. At all. Hey, Murky, come help me find the prick on this prick.”
Murky: “...I’d really rather not...”
Brim: “The gang actually mistook him for a mare when we first met. Hell, I even claimed him, so you can imagine my embarrassment when we started breaking them in. I’d already halfway mounted the guy by the time I realized something was off.”
Barb: “By the goddesses, I am going to kill you so hard.

P.S.
Glimmer: “...no, really, is it concave or something? This is bugging the hell out of me.”
Barb: “RARG!” *lunges at Glimmer*
Brim: *kicks Barb the length of the room*
Glimmer: “Well, at least he’s consistent in his impotency.”
Brim: “...yeah, actually, it’d probably be a good idea if we kept a watch tonight...”
Murky: *sniffling* “…wasn’t having friends supposed to help keep me OUT of trouble?” :(
Glimmer: “Oh, Murky...” *hug* “Where do you come up with these silly ideas?”

Alternate ending:
Glimmer: “What, did Protégé tell you that? And what made you think he knew anything about friends?

((Yeah, I stole someone else's joke for my punchline. I can't help it; that picture makes me laugh so much! XD))

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:11 am

Haha! That Weathervane one properly made me laugh, it would be just like him to throw any drug-crazed slavers or slaves on a wild goose chase snorting brahmin dung.

Also, great to see Glimmer's humour going a little over the line blue, she properly would be like that. Sometimes, I often feel my more timid humour nature holds her back from being as rude or blatant as she really could be!

You are correct that I did immediately feel concern the moment I got a whiff of something maybe not being correct. Although I have never and will never adjust an entire story just to suit what "the fans" want (for example, the above mentioned difference of opinion on Twi's personality) that doesn't stop me looking, evaluating and reconfiguring elements of a story to help smooth out any potential problems to valued readers who offer well thought out and above all honest feedback a better experience as they go forward.

Chapter 11, I'll bet already, will likely make some people very frustrated in certain places, hopefully as an "in story" way rather than a negative reaction. But I do like to experiment and see where things go and judge for the future...sooooo we'll see how it goes. ^^
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Moodyman90 on Thu Jul 19, 2012 6:55 am

@swicked: Just because I said Shackle is planning a total take over of the slaves doesn't mean I ever thought he was going to succeed. Redeye most likely has Shackle under near constant watch and is just a word away from having that problem removed.

In fact, Protégé telling Murky that he needs ponies like Shackle could very well have been him quoting what Redeye told him when he asked a similar question. So Shackle is a tool to them, and the moment his usefulness is outweighed by him being a problem they'll get rid of him.

Course that's just what I think and I freely admit this was something I came up with over the course of 20 minutes to justify the last thing I said. Honestly I hope I am wrong about this part because this takes all the piss out of Shackle as a threat, except as one directly for Murky, because Shackle was already doomed by canon from FoE.
Spoiler:
Prediction time! He'll most likely making a move after hearing Redeye is gone and meeting his end at the talons of Stern or by the orders of Protégé.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:00 am

Fuzzy wrote:Haha! That Weathervane one properly made me laugh, it would be just like him to throw any drug-crazed slavers or slaves on a wild goose chase snorting brahmin dung.
Have you ever played Fallout 2? That's actually the primary ingredient in Jet, so it might be the same for Buck in FoE :P

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:06 am

Played, no, but I do know of the formula. : P

It's what made the 'extra strength jet' in Fallout 3 absolutely hysterical to create.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:04 am

Fuzzy wrote:Also, great to see Glimmer's humour going a little over the line blue, she properly would be like that. Sometimes, I often feel my more timid humour nature holds her back from being as rude or blatant as she really could be!

My humor is pretty broad so all this FoE has occasionally brought out my darkest side.
You read Project Horizons, right? I've made several jokes about how a certain Pegasus in that was raised in a very physical relationship with the only parental figure she ever knew, a monster of a ghoul that never loved her. So that would be the norm for her, every other kind of parental or romantic relationship, to her, being very strange.

In the same way I found one of the early murky/brim exchanges, in which brim commented that murky reminded him of a buck he once threw on a fire, to be hilarious. Ever since then, in my mind's eye, every time Brim meets someone new he always ends up recalling some unusual and horribly cruel way he killed a pony just like them. Occasionally ironic, but mostly shock humor :P

That guy is such a monster XD

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:28 pm

I finished chapter 10 the other day.

Between Twilight's message, Sunny, and the newfound link between Sundial and Weathervane, I has a bit of a sad.

I honestly don't expect Murky to tell him what happened, though, unless he gets directly confronted about it (Murky would not hold up under the interrogation). Letting Weathervane know will likely make him go feral, and that wouldn't be good for anyone. I expect him to let Glimmer know when they're alone elsewhere, though.

Poor Sunny. I'm with swicked's sentiments, though. I expected her to be a lot more broken, and my grimdark/tragedy-loving side would like to see Chainlink Shackles completely "unchained".

I really don't see Twilight's message to be that out of character, but it is still a bit odd.

Mister Peace was hilarious.

Also, I absolutely <3 Glimmerlight. Twilight Sparkle

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Many lulz were had.


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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by OneMoreDaySK on Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:57 pm

@Derpmind Lucky you. Out for a week, now on page 8 for PH thread...

Also, can't help but imagine all of Murky's dialogue using Fluttershy's voice.

@swicked
Skits are awesome and hilarious as always.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Thu Jul 19, 2012 6:22 pm

swicked - Yeah I've read those from your devart, that is one warped, insane and absolutely hilarious sense of humour that is going on in them. I'd never be one to say "stop it." Everyone has their own sense. :p

Robored - Thanks so much for your comments, I always geta little "Eee!" moment when people love Glimmer. She really has shot up in popularity lately which really makes me happy to see.

Shackles has so much more he'd like to do, that much is obvious. I won't go too much into detail for fear of spoilers and the relationship between Shackles and Protégé is very much a subject of theory and debate. But I will simply say that yes, he is somewhat 'bound' by the rules right now...without them he would be an absolute monster. Sunny's condition is only after a few hours or so, a day at most. He wouldn't want to waste it all immediately...he knows he has her for a long time now.

OneMoreDay - Funnily enough, I kinda hear it in the colt Butterscotch voice that was done for the "My Little Bronies" recordings. Not exactly though...but very close. He definitely has a few bits of Fluttershy in him though.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:24 pm

Fuzzy wrote:swicked - Yeah I've read those from your devart, that is one warped, insane and absolutely hilarious sense of humour that is going on in them. I'd never be one to say "stop it." Everyone has their own sense. :p
Honestly I've been a little surprised by how well Psychoshy has fallen into a crush with Styg. She's got every reason to be overly physically aggressive, try to intentionally expose him to too much radiation, "accidentally" start calling him daddy... but she's acting, pretty much, like any girl with a crush.
I expect her first kiss with him will be nice, seeing as she'll finally be doing it with someone whose breath doesn't melt the inside of her mouth.
Not that I want to get into discussing Project Horizons in the MNS thread :P

Anyway, I liked Glimmer before it was cool XP

It could be only a few hours after he got her? Then his threat that she doesn't get to sleep is a little weak...
Honestly, though, I expected him to at least do something to her appearance. Something dehumanizing to separate who she was from who she now is. Nothing helps a mental transition along like a physical one.
Shave her mane, dock her tail, knock out some teeth or slice off an ear... something. I dunno.
Maybe he wants her to stay as pretty as possible, though. *shrug*

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Aug 04, 2012 4:17 am

I think that I spotted two minor errors in the latest chapter:
Potential Spoilers for Chapter 11:
"Red Eye has a big operation going to take out every entrance, right?  Well, he needs to organise that on a map...you think hot flanks up in his office might have one?"
Unless I missed something somewhere, shouldn't that be "had a big operation"?

"As such, I have a large drain on my resources to have been able to claim him post-escape attempt."
This sentence seems to be missing something. Maybe "have with a large drain"?
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:26 am

Right you are, Hinds. Thanks for grabbing them. Fixing now.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Moodyman90 on Sat Aug 04, 2012 3:44 pm

I really enjoyed the chapter.
I want Barb dead. Deader then dead. Want him gloating about how ruthless and stealthy his is only for Brim or hell, even Shackle to seemingly just appear behind him and crush him. But that's just me.

Also, Brim in full battle armor, HIS battle armor and weapons... those raiders where too dumb to live.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Aug 04, 2012 4:34 pm

Moodyman90 wrote:I really enjoyed the chapter.
I want Barb dead. Deader then dead. Want him gloating about how ruthless and stealthy his is only for Brim or hell, even Shackle to seemingly just appear behind him and crush him. But that's just me.
See, while I'd settle for Brim or Shackles or whoever doing it, what I'd really like to see happen to Barb? A stealth kill.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Sat Aug 04, 2012 9:01 pm

Ooo... wanting Barb dead? So I can expect him to be especially horrible this chapter?
Excellent :D

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Moodyman90 on Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:05 pm

Well I wanted him gone before, but I wasn't even half way before I wish death upon him.
Can't say he was especially horrible, just happened to hit the right cords this chapter.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:10 pm

I'm an evil-lover. The worse he is, the more I'll love him :)

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by RoboRed on Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:10 pm

Ah, finally a new chapter. I don't have much to say, except I am so glad that Brim's back, I feel sorry for Glimmer, and I really, REALLY want Barb dead.

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by OneMoreDaySK on Mon Aug 06, 2012 11:30 pm

Caught up with story and discussion, then computer dies...
Anyways, yeah Barb is evil, but I also agree that Sunny seems a little too okay by Philly standards in relation to SHOOTING Shackles. Mentally traumatized, quite possibly, but we haven't seen to much on the physical spectrum.
Mr. Peace is hilarious, dunno why I like all these large hams in the stories (Trixie, Stronghoof, etc) quite possibly be due to the absurdity of the statements in the scenarios.

Kinda hope that Barb just gets beaten, but not killed so he shows up later.
Hm, so it's pretty mch confirmed that Murky is Unity 2.0 plan B at this point then.
One thing to note is that the antagonists in the story are doing this as a necessary evil (Redeye/Protoge) or just being evil because (Shackles/Barb). I know for a character trying just to survive it's not really important, but I kinda wanna see some backstory for the villains.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:49 am

Chapter 11!
Mood: interested

Spoiler:
Hah, Murky now has a problem with stealing. I always find morality to be an interesting concept. I wonder where he has gotten his sense of right and wrong? From his mother? Or is it learned as a result of not wanting others to steal from him anymore? It makes me wonder how he would handle some of the morality questions brought up in the Project Horizons thread a few weeks ago. Namely:
1. You are at the train track, at a switching post. You see a runaway train with four people trapped inside it, headed for a track that will cause them to wreck and kill those four people. If you use the switching post you can save the four people, but on the track they would be switched to another person is standing, unaware, and you are incapable of warning him. Would you use the post and save four people at the expense of possibly killing another?
2. The train is now a car headed for a cliff and the unaware person is now a fat guy directly in front of you. Would you push him into the way of the car, which would somehow save four others as a result of your directly putting the guy to death?

...at least, the questions were something like that. People gave some interesting opinions on it. In any case, I'd love to see his morality tested. His having to decide between the lesser of two bad things without the possibility of self-sacrifice being on the table. The "grey morality" of either pursuing his freedom or being a good slave in order to prevent others from being hurt will always result in him choosing the option that brings him more pain than it will at least relatively-innocent others.

Heh, a slaver seems to have identified one of Murky's strengths and used it to improve workflow. Astounding. I wish this slaver could have a name so that I could praise him/her for being among the smartest slavers we've seen so far. I mean, heck, even Protégé continues to assign Murky menial labor rather than, I don't know, salvage and recovery or something. Something where it would pay to be small, quick and have heightened awareness, let alone a knack for finding rare and valuable things, like books, guns and pipbucks.
I mean, they have Glimmerlight work at things she's good at... repairing stuff. Is it really so impossible to try and use Murky in any kind of specialized manner?

Heh, that Pinkie Pie robot... between this, that ticket bot and Mr. Peace, why isn't this a perk?
Artificial Attraction: you are now more appealing to the robotic sex. You get a +20 to persuade and barter and robots will initially be friendlier to you, occasionally coming to your aid in battle. This will also unlock special dialogue options when dealing with AIs. You robodog, you ;)

Glimmerlight: Okay, Murky, it's just a bit further and we'll be able to get out of here.
Murky: I don't know, I have this really bad feeling that-
Securitron: Intruder detected! Surrender and be dest-" *stops and just stares at them for a moment*
Glimmerlight: ...what is it doing?
Securitron: *moves forward and addresses Glimmerlight* "Um, uh..." *kicks the ground* "...who's your friend?"
Glimmerlight: Oh, you mean Murky?
Securitron: *turns to Murky* "Murky, huh? That's nice... um, I was just wondering, you know, if you're not too busy later, if we could-"
Murky: No! A thousand times no! Why do robots keep hitting on me?
Glimmerlight: Oh come on, Murk, he looks just your type. Give him a try! And, hey, if it doesn't work out I've got a nice vibrator I could introduce you to later.
Murky: *blushes beet red*
Glimmerlight: His name's 'Mister Moist-er'. He's a real swell guy once you get to know him. Very receptive. Really makes the effort to get to know you inside and out...
Securitron: ...you know what? This was a bad idea. I'll just... I'll just be going now, okay? *flees*
Murky: T_T
Glimmerlight: Don't worry about it, honey. There are plenty more automatons in the post-apocalyptic wasteland...

Honestly, I've never seen a hero with so many consistent, favorable reactions to robots.

I enjoy Murky running scenes. Very exciting. A real break from the fighting scenes in every other FoE fic ever. :)

I knew Barb would give Murk another chance ^_^

"try to keep him talking till they were in their hearing range..."
'till we were in their hearing range?

Oh come on, Murky, sure he's not trustworthy, but he seems a bit more so than the rest of your enemies in the hoof. Everyone you've ever met would gladly kill you offhand for a supposed offense. Barb is level-headed, especially for a raider, and won't mess with you if you can help him. Heck, his first instinct was to try and recruit you. A pegasus.
It's just that, if you DO make yourself disposable to him, he prefers to take his time with the execution...

"He ran a hoof along my cheek, before clenching his lower leg around my head and pulling it sharply forward."
Clenching his fetlock. Unless you think Murky wouldn't know the word... though I would think he would. It'd be like a human not knowing the word "wrist".

Holy monk, that was cool. I really want to see Barb in an actual battle; that display was clearly intended as a show for his crew.

Oh come on, Barb, you loved that. Using a corpse as a shield? A shadow clone? And killing two slavers without a scratch on you? I'd be surprised if your crew isn't hooting for you later. It was magnificent. And Murky's idea was a grand one. Very resourceful. You said it yourself not a moment earlier... everyone fights back.
Well... unless they DID get you. An injury would certainly sour your mood a bit.

“I was one of Brimstone's Big Four, just you remember that. The others got by on size, strength and power...but I got to be the best of them by simply being the most dangerous motherfucker in the entire place."
This kind of cocky gloating makes me almost believe my little skit regarding the circumstances in which he joined the group XD

Wow, Barb's crew is well trained. Murk really CAN still walk, and no additional broken bones. They're raiders; I really thought they'd go way overboard. If this was still Brim's crew Murky wouldn't even have had all his parts anymore... he'd probably of been pretty evenly splattered across all the walls in that alleyway.

I'd of laughed when you screamed too, Murky. Your voice is very nearly fluttershy's XD

Wow, they really topped anything you've ever experienced? Impressive, Shades...
Also: wasn't this Brim's initiation ritual? The entire crew beats up a recruit for ten minutes and, if they live, they get to join? I dunno, just an observation.

...just got a call with some unpleasant information. Mood has now shifted to somber.

Heh, someone having to remind Murky to be upset. Irony.

"Finishing, I dropped the charcoal and looked upward to see the other two. I may not have known Caduceus other than Glimmer's apparent ease with him, but I was beginning to sense that I...I could get to know him? We needed every ally we could get now. He...he had helped me too..."
In B4 Caduceus dies a horrible, horrible death. Truly epic. For now, let's just call him "Sunny Days 2"

Heh, sending Murky into another big machine. How much more death trap can you get? Plus, the guy's wicked unlucky. Good chance someone will try to intentionally kill him while he's in there and the entire machine will be irreparably damaged in the process.

...or it'll be an "accident" and everything will turn out fine. You know what? I seriously like this overseer. Murky's entire experience in this forge has had him being used intelligently in some fashion. Good on the lot of them.

Ask Murk no questions; he'll tell you no lies.

"feeling the tingling ache in my nethers from the vicious kick"
I've always considered "nethers" to just be Blackjack's word for it. It's kinda weird for me to see Murky using it, to be honest...

“I'm...I'm sorry, master...for running in and...and being scared...”

“Don't let it worry you, Murk. I know how it feels.
...
What? I get more and more curious just how much Protégé “knows” how Murky feels...

"The sound of a bellowed warcry out of the window took both our attentions from the awkward mistake."
Warcry of the warlord.
*reads on* CALLED IT! (yes, I saw people saying Brim was back in the comments, but I'm pretty sure I would have called this, anyway)

I quite enjoy someone telling Protégé to shut up. Especially when he actually does. :D

“Just...don't. I'm not the all good guardian you think I am.
I wonder if Glimmerlight really thinks he's a "good guardian"? She sees the potential, but she can't be blind to reality.

Caduceus is going to die by the end of this chapter. I swear.

"Like some sort of virtue to stick to and trust in."
...a little awkward, forcing this stuff in here. His virtue is clearly kindness, though.

Oooooooo, I like this Coral Eve. Powerful and angry, but not vindictive. Not a single attack against the mare that ruined her life. Likely because she absolutely isn't worth it. Impressive. I also love her little revelation as to how Glimmerlight forgives and forgets. All the more convenient that Brim isn't here...
Oh, and she has a lovely name. I hope we get plenty more of her.

“I can forgive anypony, anything...all except the one pony I really know did the wrong thing...”


Sniffling, she fought to not break down again. Held close, I just tried to wrap my short legs around as best I could.


“...myself.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! THAT IS HILARIOUS!! XD
Note: I know I might come off as sarcastic when I type that sort of thing, but I always mean it... this part really did have me laughing out loud. I just LOVE it when a character says that bit. "I can ___ anyone but myself". It's, like... the ultimate wangst expression in existence. Love love love <3

Oh my gosh, yes. They'd better save Coral. She's amazaaaaaaah

“I know...thank you, both of you. I...hm, a map won't be easy.
...
Murky: Protégé, can you tell me about master Red Eye?
Protégé: Oh, certainly! What do you wish to know?
Murky: Oh, um... what are all your favorite things about him?
Protégé: Oh my goodness, yes, this will take some time. Please, take a seat! There you go! Well, first of all, his vision is perfection..."
*Glimmerlight and Caduceus sneak in behind and begin rummaging through his library*
...time passes...
Protégé: And that concludes my one hundred and six reasons Red Eye is amazing. My goodness, that took some time. Was there anything else?
*Glimmerlight and Caduceus, sifting through piles of books, shake their heads*
Murky: Oh, um, how about the first time you met master Red Eye? And the days following it?
Protégé: Haha, right, that's a great one. Well, you see, when I got up that morning I could never have guessed...
...time passes...
Protégé: ...and then you asked me to recount the story of my tutelage under master Red Eye, and then it was now!"
*Glimmerlight has laid out dozens of playmare books found between the covers of several novels and is shoving Caduceus' face toward each, then whispering things in his ears. Wide-eyed and blushing fiercely, he quickly shakes his head to Murky*
Murky: Um... uh... How about... how about you just tell me everything you know about Red Eye?
Protégé: Oh, really? You're that interested? Marvelous, well, the first thing is...
...hours upon hours pass...
*Caduceus has the map in his teeth, literally dragging a silently crying Glimmerlight away from what has become a mountain of playmares and similar publications*
Protégé: ...and my goodness, does he ever have an eye for aesthetics. You should see his cathedral; it is amazing. He has painstakingly recreated...
Murky: *looks desperately at Caduceus*
Caduceus: *shrugs and mouths 'good luck' before leaving*

I've no doubt the raiders want a piece of glimmerlight. And they're generally crazy enough not to care if Brim is around or not. Plus Brim HASN'T been around for a while.
Honestly, Barb is crazy effective. He is controlling his raiders incredibly well. While I don't think anyone should trust him... no one, so far, has. He hasn't been given the chance to break a deal. I kinda want to see the heroes, being heroes, give him that chance.

“Barb is not somepony to do deals with, Glimmer! He is below even the twisted sense of right and wrong raiders normally go by, the moment you've done what he wants...that's it! Deals off, why do you think he put your work to be done first?”
What sense of right and wrong? I was under the impression that sense only went so far as to not necessarily kill other raiders in your own crew in their sleep.
Plus... I just dunno. He showed Murky that clipping of Glimmer's hair. He appears to be under orders not to kill them... or else, why wouldn't he? HI don't think he would have let them stay alive all this time just so that Murky could get this key for them.

"Either that or he was still taking an interest in 'developing' my abilities?"
My opinion. Well... that or it’s Chainlink’s order. A little of both, maybe.

"I hope you're as nice as I think you are..."
Murky, you have memories of songs and stories. I think your mom must be/have been pretty nice.

"Any conflicting feelings were thrown aside as two rounds whipped into the wall above my head, a slaver was targeting me! Why?! He got little extra chance, a shadow detaching itself from the wall fell upon him, tearing the machine gun away and snapping his neck like a twig. Barb grinned, melting back into the shadows. He was mad...utterly mad..."
:)

Gezz... Protégé is NEVER gonna replenish his stock.

I wonder if Glimmerlight suspects/hopes EVERYONE is bi...

In either case, I guess I should stop suspecting a conspiracy between Protégé and Chainlink. It's just really amazing Protégé is so ineffective when it comes to reigning in his own subordinate.

"Aha! This would distract her from her crazy theories about me..."
Is Glimmerlight modeled after one of your own prereaders? :P

“I had to pull a great many strings and even call in a few back door favours..."
Tee hee!

"What was Barb doing? He said it was only to get a few of them! I hadn't even thought of what he intended to do with the consequences...likely he didn't care so long as he had somepony to take the fall..."
If this was, in part, an order from Chainlink... there's really no better way to prove Protégé’s not fit to run an operation like this than to kill off not only a large portion of his remaining stock, but a whole ton of his guards as well.

Heh, so, Brim has some really impressive equipment. I wonder if Barb is missing some of his own. For all his being the leader, and previously one of the four favored, his only distinctive piece of equipment seems to be his knife. Seems like he could use some throwing blades, claws, some dark armor or a patched-together stealth suit or SOMETHING else to compliment that paltry display.

“Aha! Getting there! Three words...three words...”
Murky Number Seven.
Uh durrrrrrr...

"Glimmerlight continued flicking through, her face twisted in disgust. Eventually, snapping it shut, her magic hurled it roughly back into the locker and slammed the entire thing shut again."
He records them so he can reminisce. I would have burned that blasted thing. Or... well, blasted it. Pull the pin on one of those apple grenades, slammed the locker shut, and run. Fun on a bun.

"Brimstone stopped, raiding his head to glance across at him."
Raising his head.

"Only them...only then..."
Only then.

Wow, Brim can be pretty intense...

The funny thing about this argument is, if it wasn't bound to happen, it would never have occurred.

...I really don't get Barb's endgame, here. He can't escape... and he's a survivalist. He knows a way to get out of this without dying, I'm sure of it. The only question is how.
...and I have a feeling his answer is Chainlink.
...and I have a feeling Chainlink's answer's going to be "no".

P.S.
Oh, and yeah, I was wrong about Caduceus dying. Woops :P

Barb is awesome :D


Last edited by swicked on Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:49 pm; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : re-added sketch)

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by Fuzzy on Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:46 pm

I apologise mightily that I haven't been as readily responsive over this chapter. Most of my time has been spent lying in bed making various groanin-

Wait a minute, that sounds very misinterpretable.

I've been very sick, basically. Hence the lack of time up and around things. But I'm really glad for the feedback here. Particularly that people are beginning to see some real 'love to hate' or badass liking of Barb. That's excellent.

Although swicked's headcanon about Barb's backstory still makes me laugh. It would explain his need to act as arrogant and in control, wouldn't it? xD

I have to agree that Glimmer's "myself" is a little cheesy. But frankly, I kinda knew it while writing. I just...felt...that line and knew that people would probably go "Awww come on! You coulda so used to big classic trope line there!" It still works, just for people who know the cliché, I guess you could call it a deliberate nod. :p

Very glad you like Coral Eve, that scene was oddly tough as (hospital appearance non-withstanding) I had to get across a whole ton about her character...while talking entirely about Glimmer. It's a deceptively difficult balance to strike. Too far one side and she just whines about her own life, too far to the other and it's straight up (I dislike swearing but here we go) 'bitching'. Hopefully she struck the chord right. I am very pleased with her name though, so I'm glad you liked it!

By "twisted sense of right and wrong" it was sort of hinting at the kind of sick mind who, while doing unspeakable things is still liable to have a weird sense of honesty. That if they tell you one thing, they will stick to it, as horrible as it is. Brimstone's a little like that on his raider side, a kind of corrupted honesty, perhaps? Just go give an idea of what I was shooting for with that line.

Barb subverts it in that noone really knows what he'll do, who he'll give a chance to or who he'll just kill despite saying he needed them. He doesn't play by any set of rules. Not even his own.

Yes, swicked. Glimmerlight definitely hopes that everypony/species swings that way. It's her, after all. xD

"Back door favours" - ...*facepalm*

Did you delete one of your skits about Glimmerlight highlighting Murky's strange ability to end up becoming the centre of robotic attention? I did have a good ol' laugh at that one, it really sounded like something she'd tease him about.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

Post by swicked on Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:17 pm

Fuzzy wrote:He doesn't play by any set of rules. Not even his own.

Cliché...
Clichééééééééé... XD
Plus he's been working for chainlink, so... Yeah.

And yeah, I deleted a glimmerlight sketch... It seemed a little too offputting without enough funny. I'm really not all that perverted in real life; I've kinda just gotten into a mode ever since psychoshy came about... XP
I've re-added it, now.

I also deleted a bit of a grimdarkgasm I got over brim's rampage... Shy

Anyway, Coral lost her son in part due to Glimmer. I'm surprised her reaction to glimmer was just to be dismissive instead of hostile. I wouldn't have been surprised if she had slug her one. As it is I'll gladly cut that hardcore mare some breaks.

Edit: But I'm serious about the robot perk. He gets so many positive reactions from them... It'd be a great running joke XD

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Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

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