Cloudsville
Welcome to Cloudsville. If you're new, don't forget to sign up and say hi in the Introduction forum.

Join the forum, it's quick and easy

Cloudsville
Welcome to Cloudsville. If you're new, don't forget to sign up and say hi in the Introduction forum.
Cloudsville
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Solar Eclipse

5 posters

Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Solar Eclipse

Post by Sky Cloud Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:31 pm

This is my newest fan-fiction! it will have some cursing and gore. please give me constructive critisim and tell me what you ponies think :)

Prologue:
Spoiler:


Last edited by Sky Cloud on Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sky Cloud
Sky Cloud
Ursa Minor

Posts : 493
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2011-11-27
Age : 26
Location : Forney, Texas

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Discord Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:56 pm

It’s decent so far, I like the negative spin on the sonic rainboom. I look forward to reading more and seeing how they make sense of their new world. I’m a little confused on what exactly happened....so you and your friends were watching the show and saw your selves already ponyfied or what, I guess I’m just confused on how you transitioned from everyday life to bam in the episode. After a second look through it makes sense I'm guessing that you were some how transported in the episode and then were hit by the shockwave of the rainboom killing you. you might want to clear that up or it might be just me.


Last edited by Discord on Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
Discord
Discord
Earth Pony

Posts : 176
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 33

Character List:
Name: dark infinti
Sex: male
Species: pegasus

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Sky Cloud Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:05 pm

we were talking about it... i should probably clear that up hehe... thanks
Sky Cloud
Sky Cloud
Ursa Minor

Posts : 493
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2011-11-27
Age : 26
Location : Forney, Texas

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Moonlight Mon Feb 27, 2012 4:33 pm

Every man dreams his own heaven. There are a few little things like spelling grammar punctuation, but that's what proofreading is for! I'd like to see where this goes, and you'll probably have a fun time explaining it!
Moonlight
Moonlight
Hydra

Posts : 650
Brohoof! : 23
Join date : 2011-11-27
Age : 27
Location : New York State (not the city)

Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Sky Cloud Mon Feb 27, 2012 4:35 pm

thanks :D im writing this during school and i think i might be halfway or almost done with chapter 1
Sky Cloud
Sky Cloud
Ursa Minor

Posts : 493
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2011-11-27
Age : 26
Location : Forney, Texas

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Guest Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:51 pm

Lol i can't write in school recently because people keep grabbing paper and reading it and laughing

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Discord Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:08 pm

wow thats not cool.....you ever tried socking them in the gut......thats how i solved some of my problems in school. but be warned it will lead to more violence.......now that i think about i really should of walked away form a lot of those fights, but the past is the past no changing it now.
Discord
Discord
Earth Pony

Posts : 176
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 33

Character List:
Name: dark infinti
Sex: male
Species: pegasus

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by CamoBadger Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:41 am

Honestly, I like the idea to this story, and I'll definitely be keeping tabs on it.

Could use a little more description to add length, but since it is the prologue that isn't really important. All in all, it was pretty well written, and I can't wait to see more!
CamoBadger
CamoBadger
Royal Alicorn

Posts : 13890
Brohoof! : 588
Join date : 2011-11-29

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Sky Cloud Tue Feb 28, 2012 12:29 pm

Chapter one is like five pages and thats just half of it. i hope to make this a legit one!
Sky Cloud
Sky Cloud
Ursa Minor

Posts : 493
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2011-11-27
Age : 26
Location : Forney, Texas

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Discord Tue Feb 28, 2012 9:44 pm

sweet cant wait to read it.
Discord
Discord
Earth Pony

Posts : 176
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2012-02-15
Age : 33

Character List:
Name: dark infinti
Sex: male
Species: pegasus

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Sky Cloud Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:12 pm

ok wow i havnt been on here in forever. Sorry for not updating this. im just gonna write the whole story on Word then post it on another thread. i was writing this when my Chrome crashed so yea...
Sky Cloud
Sky Cloud
Ursa Minor

Posts : 493
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2011-11-27
Age : 26
Location : Forney, Texas

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Viynl Scratch Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:47 am

I liked it can't wait to read more XD
Viynl Scratch
Viynl Scratch
Foal

Posts : 7
Brohoof! : 0
Join date : 2012-04-10

Back to top Go down

Solar Eclipse Empty Re: Solar Eclipse

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum