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Band of Ponies (Collab With Shadow Star)

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Band of Ponies (Collab With Shadow Star)

Post by Flying Ace: Comet on Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:19 pm

Just a project with Shadow that I think might be fun to post here. Be forewarned, there is cursing and later on, there will be gore so reader discretion is advised. Hope you enjoy and give feedback!
-Silence <3

Spoiler:


"10 seconds to drop time! When you see the light change, head out!" yelled Sergeant Wings. The roaring of the propellers drowned out all of the thoughts in his head as he stared out the foggy, frost embroidered window. The flashes of 88's and .42 cals firing upon ants were the sights he was greeted by. They were not something new for Private First Class Meteor, more commonly known by those around him as "Joker", for his particularly funny, cheery attitude. The light flashed to green, coating everyone in a jade green, warm glow. The sounds of boots pounding and shuffling against the the metallic body of the plane seemed to be the only noise that now passed through Joker's ears now. The silence was considered a rare occurance and was highy revered as a divine blessing from the goddesses. Joker lined him self up and proceeded towards the door, sound slowly returning to his ears. He stepped to the door, the wind tearing through his purple mane, causing it to whip around. He jumped, the boots coming smoothly off of the plane and sending him outwards, the wind caressing him and whispering in his ears. He fell towards the world, lining his body up with the drop zone. He waited for the precise moment, flashes of training apeearing before him. His eyes narrowed as he spoke in his head.

"Three, two, one, open!" he said in his head as he extended his wings. The wind whistled through them, slipping through the narrow spaces between his feathers. The wings acted as a parachute, slowing the descent towrds the area behind enemy lines. He landed, retracting his wings and brandishing his Thompson. He slipped the clip in and pushied it upwards, waiting for the ever familiar click. He then pulled the silencer out of his pouch, the cold, dark steel feeling somehow reassuring in his hoove. He screwed it on and proceeded towards the rendezvous point. The recognizable sound of paded boots calmed him slightly as he saw Wings smoking. Joker double-timed it over to him as Wings threw the cigarette down, extinguishing it with his right hoof. He crushed the empty box up and tossed it, the light reflecting off of a spade upon it, indicating a box of Lucky Hooves. Wings looked at Joker as he advanced towards him. "Damn Lunar Rebels. If it weren't for them, I'd still probably be at home, drinking with the crew. More then likely pissing of the barkeep as usual. Ain't that right Torch?!" said Joker, hearing the metal ringing of canisters tapping against each other.

"Fuckin' hoorah Joker. Bar blasting with our Colts and fighting with the drunk stallions." said a deep, husky voice. Torch walked up, keeping his flamethrower in hand. "Anybody need a light?" he said, laughing at the end of the line.

"Well, since you're offering, I'll take you up on that offer torch." spoke another voice. Everyone looked around for the souce of it. Then they heard it again," What are you guys looking for?". Torch nearly jumper, the closeness of the voice startling him. He twisted around and pointed the flamethrower at the figure. After seeing him, he lowered the torch and stared at him before re-raising it to an almost 90 degree angle. The other figure pulled out a pack of Hooves and held it out. Torch pulled the trigger, sending a burst of flame from the barrel. The voice stepped back, a light illuminating his face, the orange glow reflecting off of his goggles.

"DJ! Now this shit is a party! Did you bring my custom nozzle?" said Torch as he thrusted out a large hoof. DJ reached into his satchel and removed something from the leather bag. He handed it carefully to Torch, watching him excitedly remove the old barrel and attaching the custom one. He pointed the flamethrower away from the group and pulled the trigger. What they all saw amazed them. The flame was a vast assortment of colors, lighting the ground and surrounding bodies in a rainbow glow. Torch's mouth hung open as he was obviously entertained and astounded by the color effect. "Fuck yeah! That is the kind of shit I'm talking about DJ! Now I can roast the Lunar bitches in style!" said Torch, blatantly expressing his glee.

"As sad as I am to leave, I think it is time to head out and kill some Lunar scum. Before we head out though, our squad is Loyalty. So remember, you live for Celestia, you die for Celestia, but most importantly, kill some fucking Lunar pigs!" said Sergeant Hooves.

"Hoorah Wings! For the Celestian Army Mother fuckers!" yelled Torch, charging towards the enemy lines. A unicorn dropped down in-front of him and stopped him. "Look what we've got here, welcome to the fuckin' squad Rookie. I'm Torch, let's roll out!".

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Flying Ace: Comet
Earth Pony

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Age : 22
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Re: Band of Ponies (Collab With Shadow Star)

Post by CamoBadger on Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:33 am

I'm liking where this story is headed (despite me being a devoted member of the New Lunar Republic Luna ) and I'm excited to see more.

I've just got a few little edits, basic grammar and spelling stuff:
Spoiler:

coating everyone in a jade green, warm glow.
coating everyone in a warm, jade glow.

seemed to be the only noise that now passed through Joker's ears now.
remove one of the 'now's

He slipped the clip in and pushied it upwards

Torch nearly jumper

Other than that my only question was why he shot the flamethrower at all. I'm guessing they don't want to be noticed since they're behind enemy lines, and a burst of rainbow flames would likely alert enemies to their presence.

Not anything major, just my tactical mindset raising a red flag. Most readers probably won't notice that.

------------------
My stories: Cold as Ice   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains FiMFic Page   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains Hub Page
Thanks if you read any of them.

If you have a complaint of any kind, a question or a suggestion, please PM me about it and I will respond as quickly as I can.  


Last wrote:((Camo just likes to kill happiness.))

Well spank my flank and call me sexy!

Until next time, hugs and kisses.


 ~Miguel
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Re: Band of Ponies (Collab With Shadow Star)

Post by Shadow Star on Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:47 am

Yeah I'm working on the "D-Day" landing part also I hope every pony can see the link between the ponies in this stroy to other ponies (hint hint)
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Shadow Star
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Posts : 122
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Name: Shadow Star
Sex: female
Species: Unicorn

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Re: Band of Ponies (Collab With Shadow Star)

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