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Shadow of the Eclipse

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Shadow of the Eclipse

Post by CamoBadger on Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:27 am

Okay, sequel for my first...well for Cold as Ice is out now. It's a bit long (15000 words and only 1/6 of the way done) so if you have the time and want to read it I would appreciate any feedback and edits you may have Lyra

Shadow of the Eclipse

I hope anyone that reads this enjoys it!

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My stories: Cold as Ice   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains FiMFic Page   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains Hub Page
Thanks if you read any of them.

If you have a complaint of any kind, a question or a suggestion, please PM me about it and I will respond as quickly as I can.  


Last wrote:((Camo just likes to kill happiness.))

Well spank my flank and call me sexy!

Until next time, hugs and kisses.


 ~Miguel
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CamoBadger
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Re: Shadow of the Eclipse

Post by Sky Cloud on Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:42 pm

Its amazing!!! i havent read it all but so far its really well um, AMAZING!!!! i just need to read the prequel furst.....
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Sky Cloud
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Re: Shadow of the Eclipse

Post by CamoBadger on Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:47 pm

Thank you Sky Cloud, you're one of the 3 people to give me a good review so far, and it means a lot Lyra

------------------
My stories: Cold as Ice   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains FiMFic Page   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains Hub Page
Thanks if you read any of them.

If you have a complaint of any kind, a question or a suggestion, please PM me about it and I will respond as quickly as I can.  


Last wrote:((Camo just likes to kill happiness.))

Well spank my flank and call me sexy!

Until next time, hugs and kisses.


 ~Miguel
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CamoBadger
Royal Alicorn

Posts : 13890
Brohoof! : 588
Join date : 2011-11-29

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Re: Shadow of the Eclipse

Post by Spitfire on Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:48 pm

I've been meaning to read these, but, I'm very bad at getting back to things. (my bookmarks folder is over 600, and countering)
I WILL read it soonish though, before the end of the month.
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Spitfire
Hydra

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Age : 22
Location : Near Portland Oregon, USA

Character List:
Name: Wildfire
Sex: Herm
Species: Pegasus

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Re: Shadow of the Eclipse

Post by CamoBadger on Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:53 pm

It's all good Spitfire, I think I have 3 of my stories on your list now Derpy Hooves

------------------
My stories: Cold as Ice   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains FiMFic Page   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains Hub Page
Thanks if you read any of them.

If you have a complaint of any kind, a question or a suggestion, please PM me about it and I will respond as quickly as I can.  


Last wrote:((Camo just likes to kill happiness.))

Well spank my flank and call me sexy!

Until next time, hugs and kisses.


 ~Miguel
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CamoBadger
Royal Alicorn

Posts : 13890
Brohoof! : 588
Join date : 2011-11-29

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Re: Shadow of the Eclipse

Post by CamoBadger on Thu Jan 05, 2012 6:44 am

I really need to thank you guys. Those of you that have commented on my stories with such positive reviews got me out of a rut I was in with this story, and returned my motivation to continue it!
As thanks, I would like to provide you all with a small peek at Part II and a new character. Thanks again guys, and I only hope I can continue to entertain you all Lyra

Spoiler:


A patch of grass waved lightly in the wind, the last of its kind for miles. Around it all one could see was a burnt and scarred wasteland of crumbled stones and cracked earth. Small fires eternally burned through a few of the cracks, slowly eating their way toward the pale vegetation as they licked at the air.

A shadow whipped over the land like a bullet, only visible for a moment before it disappeared into the distant rubble of a once great city. A whoosh of air followed in the wake of the shadow, along with the telltale ripple of wings overhead.

A pair of yellow eyes scanned below, searching for a target among the torched landscape below. His nostrils flared at a sudden scent; the smell of sweat permeating the usual smoky air. The eyes began twitching quickly from side to side, searching for the source of the smell as saliva filled the space between his fangs.

A blur of motion shot beneath him, and his wings folded against his body as he dove toward a pile of ancient rubble. His prey must have heard the whistle of wind over his spines, and the fur coated critter threw itself into the wasteland, running as fast as it could to escape the predator above.

His decent slowed as his wings flared out over him, revealing a set of gleaming claws stretching toward his future meal. His claws made contact, and he cursed himself as they felt not the warm body of the rabbit he had been tracking, but instead a jagged block of earth overhanging a burrow.

“SSon of a worm” he hissed to himself at his latest failure. The simplest of prey, the only meat he was likely to see for over a week, had escaped him. Such was the life of Syverian Valorius; failure after failure. It wasn’t bad enough that he had been born a runt, oh no, the Ancestors felt it necessary to make him a failure at everything an honorable dragon was supposed to be. He rarely caught food during a hunt, he rarely won fights with other hatchlings in his youth, and to top it off he hadn’t even completed the Rites.

All of this, coupled with his small speech issue and his other disability had made him the tail of jokes for the entirety of his 40 years on this world. It was a wonder that he even bothered to stay home anymore, but that was the one thing he would not allow himself to fail in; loyalty to his bloodline.

The drake crammed his snout into the burrow and lashed his tongue into the hole, swinging it around in an attempt to find the furry food cowering in its home. It was no use, only the Ancestors knew how deep that burrow was, and the rodent wasn’t about to get close enough for him to grab.

Syverian pulled his face from the dirt and spread his wings, flapping once to get airborne before slowly climbing back into the sky.

------------------
My stories: Cold as Ice   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains FiMFic Page   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains Hub Page
Thanks if you read any of them.

If you have a complaint of any kind, a question or a suggestion, please PM me about it and I will respond as quickly as I can.  


Last wrote:((Camo just likes to kill happiness.))

Well spank my flank and call me sexy!

Until next time, hugs and kisses.


 ~Miguel
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CamoBadger
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Posts : 13890
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Re: Shadow of the Eclipse

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