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Waking up in a new world

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Waking up in a new world

Post by Crona The Critic on Fri Dec 16, 2011 10:37 pm

I was one of the kids who was into many fandoms, and the kid who just joined the crowds. I never really liked My Little Pony that much, I just wanted to be in a group that cared about each other. I tried to watch the show, and it did not stick out to me, and I did not remember the characters. But, with everything else in my life, it started to attack me.

I was sitting on my bed listening to my iPod, when I realised that I left my laptop running on the floor. I carefully picked it up off of the ground, avoiding falling off the bed, like I usualy do. I laid against the back wall that was on my bed and I touched the pad that acted as the mouse.

"Of course" I said to myself, seeing that was opened. I laughed at myself, knowing that this fandom of mine would eventually die, and I would move on to the next bandwagon. I signed out of my page after I read my notifications, and went to my email. I saw there was only one new email. Deciding to look at it and hurry to bed, I opened up the inbox and looked to see what it was. Much to my dismay, it was a chain email.

It said, "My little pony is the best thing that has happened to the world. Spread your love by sending this to 10 ponies, or something you will not expect will happen when you wake up!"

I laughed at the email, and I quickly deleted it, knowing full well that nothing would happen to me. I slowly closed my laptop, and the light in my room was soon engulfed in darkness. I picked up my phone as a light, and put my laptop back on the floor. I turned off my phone and put it into the charger, and laid sprawled out on my bed.

The last thought that went through my mind was, "Stupid bronies,sending me this stupid crap..." And I drifted off to sleep.

Eight hours later, my alarm went off on my phone. I reached over to turn it off, and noticed something on the screen. It had low batteries! "I must not of charged it..." I thought to myself, as I put it back on my bed. Laughing at my ignorance, I went over to my dresser and began to put on my clothes. As I was doing so, I noticed something strange outside my door. There was no one talking! In the mornings, my house is usually the loudest you have ever heard, and them being this quiet was unnatural. I shook the thought away and finished putting my shoes on. I sat back down on my bed and grabbed the remote. I pressed the button to turn on the TV, but the TV did not respond. I began to get very annoyed, so I started shaking the remote, rapidly pressing the power button. The TV still did not respond. I turned the remote around to check the batteries, and they were still in them! I put the remote back on the headstand, thinking the batteries were just dead. I walked to the tv and pressed the power button myself. The Tv did not respond. I began to get very angry, as I usually watch My little pony in the mornings. I shook my head in frustration, and grabbed my school bag.

"Might as well head to school.." I thought as I grabbed my bag. I put it over my shoulder, and opened the door to my room. What I saw, I would never be able to describe again. Outside my room was not my house, but I was on a hill! My bag fell to the ground as I slumped over, looking out at the great distance of the plains I was on.

"Where is my house!" I shouted out loud, shocked at what was going on. I quickly closed my door, and took a deep breath.

"I am just dreaming..." I repeated in my mind, slowly losing my sanity. I opened the door again, and much to my dismay, the planes were still there. I slammed my door, and laid back on my bed.

"I have to be dreaming... this must be a dream..." I said out loud rapidly, rolling around on my bed. Suddenly, a thought came to my mind. I remembered the email from the previous night.

"My little pony is the best thing that has happened to the world. Spread your love by sending this to 10 ponies, or something you will not expect will happen when you wake up!"

I began to laugh on my bed, realizing how stupid I was thinking. A chain email would never actually punish you for not sending something, would it? Suddenly, a knock on his door caused me to scream. A small voice sounded outside his door.

"Is anypony there...?"

Chapter 2-

"Your imagination is the single most important asset you possess. Your
imagination is your power to create mental pictures of things that don't
exist yet and that you want to bring into being. Your imagination is
what you use to shape your future. And so in your own way, you are a
prophet. You generate countless predictions every day. Your imagination
is the source,tirelessly churning out mental pictures of what you'll be
doing in the future."
Rob Brezsny

I
sat on the wall of my room, hearing the knocks continue. The voice
outside was soft, as well as the knocks. The voice called out again,

"Please, is anypony here?"

I
sighed as I began to move off of my bed, planting my feet on the
ground. I took a very deep breath, and walked over to the door, afraid
of what I was going to see. When I opened it, I nearly lost my breath.
In front of me stood a small yellow pony with pink hair.

I began
to stumble around at the door, seeing a pony standing at my door. I
started to stumble out a few words, and the small pony looked down. She
began to say,

"Sorry about intruding you... but I did not know
where this house came from..." She said this with an unbelievable amount
of shyness, and my heart began to melt. I felt my cheeks turn red, but I
shook my head. I pulled myself together and stood back up, staring at
the pony.

"This is just a dream.." I said out loud, continuing
the stare at the pony. I half expected the pony to disappear, but there
she still stood, now looking even more nervous.

"Why are you staring at me..." She said, her cheeks now turning red. I stared at the pony, and felt my head become light.

"This pony... is real...?" I thought, and felt myself lose consciousness.

Fluttershy
watched the strange mammal fall to the ground. She became very
frightened for the mammal, as it hit it's head on his desk. She ran
inside of it's house, picking him up with her hooves. She tried to pick
him up to lay him on his bed, but she did not realize how heavy it
really was! She started to quickly flap her wings, and the mammal's body
began to float in the air. She struggled to carry the body onto the
bed, and plopped him down ontop of it.

She stared at the mammal, wondering what it was.

"I
have a good feeling it is a male..." she thought as she touched his
hair. She was very afraid he was going to wake up, but the feeling soon
went away. She continued to play with his hair, but remembered what she
put him on the bed in the first place for.

"I need to take care
of this poor thing!" She said out loud, becoming scared as she yelled,
and thought she woke him up. the mammal stayed quiet and did not move a
muscle. She smiled at this, and ran outside of the house to gather her
supplies.

Chapter 3-

Fluttershy ran back into the mammals room and closed the door.
She had brought all of her animal treating supplies with her, but was
afraid it was not enough for such a big animal. She grabbed the bucket
of water she had with her and put it on his bed. She grabbed a sponge
with her hooves and flew towards him. She blushed as she realized what
she now had to do.

"I have to take his... clothing off." She
said out loud, once again afraid she woke him up. When he did not move,
Fluttershy began to take off his shirt, fiddling with it as she did so.
She had trouble getting it over his head, but eventually got it off. She
was surprised when she saw what his body looked like under it's
clothes.

"He looks so much different than any animal I have
ever seen!" She once again said out loud, and put her hoof over her self
to stop from talking.

"Fluttershy, you are such a
loudmouth!" She thought. She dipped the sponge that was in her hooves
and began to wash the mammal. She was completly red from embaressment,
and she did not fully understand why. She had taken care of many animals
before this, so shy is she feeling this way?

Whenever she
finished cleaning his chest, she looked down toward his lower body, and
she turned a compete shade of pink. She now had to take his lower
clothes off. She slowly reached down to his pants, and put her hooves on
the outer rims. Suddenly, while she began to take his pants off, he
grabbed her hooves.

"What the hell are you doing to me?" I yelled at the yellow pony that was grabbing my pants.

The
small yellow pony squeaked in terror as she fell off of me and onto the
floor. I quickly felt bad for her, as I called out,

"Are you ok?"

When
she did not answer, I jumped off the bed, careful not to step on her. I
knelt down beside her, and looked at her in the eyes. She looked back
at me in complete terror, her face completely pink.

"What were you doing with my pants?" I said, putting emphasis on the word pants.

She started to slowly mutter out words that could not be understood, until I shushed her.

"Look,
I am sorry I scared you. I am just a little freaked out right now. You
can stand up, I am not mad." I said, trying to sound as pleasant as
possible. I smiled down at her, and she seemed to calm down. I held out
my hand to her, and she put her hoof out. I pulled her to her legs, and
she looked down at the ground. I seemed to tower over her, being 5''11.
She must of been at least 4''5. She was just so tiny. But for some
reason, she was kind of cute...

I quickly shook my head,
surprised at how I was thinking. I was thinking a pony was cute. A pony!
I quickly realized that I had been thinking to myself rather too long,
and the small pony was still staring at the ground, most likely
extremely embarrassed. I quietly laughed and asked,

"So... what is your name?"

She began to stammer again, and a small. "Fluttershy" could be heard.

I
began to walk backwards, complete shock hitting my mind. I have heard
that name before. I have heard it everyday on the Internet. This was the
pony from the show I pretended to like...


Last edited by Finesthour on Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:47 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Spitfire on Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:24 pm

Sweetie Belle
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by CamoBadger on Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:01 am

Rainbow MOAR!

------------------
My stories: Cold as Ice   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains FiMFic Page   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains Hub Page
Thanks if you read any of them.

If you have a complaint of any kind, a question or a suggestion, please PM me about it and I will respond as quickly as I can.  


Last wrote:((Camo just likes to kill happiness.))

Well spank my flank and call me sexy!

Until next time, hugs and kisses.


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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Spitfire on Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:28 am

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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Crona The Critic on Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:47 am

Chapters 2 and 3 added.
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Fluttershy on Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:06 am

This is seeming amazing so far. I hope the rest is just as amazing. I'll give my full review when the story is finished.
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Crona The Critic on Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:07 am

Fluttershy wrote:This is seeming amazing so far. I hope the rest is just as amazing. I'll give my full review when the story is finished.

That... will take a while.
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Fluttershy on Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:08 am

I'm a patient pony. I've waited 2 years for things on youtube.
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by CamoBadger on Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:18 am

HA! Silly human, asking why he thought Fluttershy is cute.

Fluttershy is always cute, no exceptions Shy

I'm enjoying this story :)

------------------
My stories: Cold as Ice   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains FiMFic Page   |   Fallout Equestria: All That Remains Hub Page
Thanks if you read any of them.

If you have a complaint of any kind, a question or a suggestion, please PM me about it and I will respond as quickly as I can.  


Last wrote:((Camo just likes to kill happiness.))

Well spank my flank and call me sexy!

Until next time, hugs and kisses.


 ~Miguel
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Crona The Critic on Sat Dec 17, 2011 3:39 pm

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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Crona The Critic on Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:58 pm

Read it here ponies.

I have it updated.

http://poni.0au.de/story/4645/Waking-up-in-a-new-world
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Permafrost on Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:46 pm

Well Finesthour,I just read all 8 chapters and I must say it's an enjoying read.I can't compare it to other fan fics because of how I am just starting to read them,but I can say I felt like I was there witnessing the story.I may have to recommend your work to the people I'm "converting into the herd" so they can see how well a pony fan fic can be made.
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Re: Waking up in a new world

Post by Crona The Critic on Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:59 pm

Heh, thank you mint.

I try my best c:
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