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[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Kattlarv on Fri Feb 12, 2016 7:33 pm

Evilgidgit wrote:I'm re-reading PH from the beginning, and it occured to me, but did Deus and Gorgon know the other was Doof and Stonewing?
You know, I really have to get around to pick up, and finish the revised edition of PH...
Just need to get up the damn motivation xP Feels like I might not get around to it before the series has become obsolete so to speak...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Mon Feb 15, 2016 4:29 pm

According to the crack investigative reporters of Equestria Daily, Blackjack's mom really got around (and had a well-hidden from 99 drinking problem):
Little Pips grew up in Stable 2 with her alcoholic mother Gin Rummy. She ends up getting a job as a Pip Buck stable technician while crushing on one of her fellow vault dwellers, Velvet Remedy. When the story first begins, she had just acquired her cutie mark. When Velvet requests that Pip use her technical skills to remove her Pip Buck in order to escape the vault, Little Pip feels responsible for releasing her crush, and chases after her.
Spike
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Valikdu on Sun Feb 21, 2016 3:34 am

Icy Shake wrote:crack

Not even once.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:55 pm

Heh, that's... amusing. Pip's mom never got a name at all, did she?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CD on Mon Mar 14, 2016 12:36 pm

Spoiler:
“You are a pony. You cannot understand,” she said with a dismissive sniff.
I'm getting really tired of these high and mighty zebras who think they're so much wiser than ponies and don't feel they need to justify or explain themselves because Scotch is 'just a pony'.

“All life? Like… even flesh-eating bacteria?” Pythia asked.
“Even that should be respected, its spirit sent away and appeased rather than killed with chemicals and poison,” she retorted.
So basically she's a zebra Jehovah's Witness?

“That was a lot of Starkatteri. We don’t like each other much more than other ponies like us. Working together’s not easy for us. Most other Starkatteri are insecure, terrified, egotistical asses we’d throw to a mob to cover our escape. We’re not a nice tribe.”
Also, water is wet.

“A few work for Carnico. Unicorns, as you said. The rest work on the boardwalk. It’s the, ah… well, where they work.”
How much will you bet the boardwalk is the city's red light district?

Then they finished with five minutes of sex, and once the stallion had blown his quite copious and messy load, the next mare said ‘my turn!’ and the stallion gave the camera a weary, hapless stare before the scene faded to black and the credits rolled.
This episode was titled...the Aristocrats!

“Sorry. You’re a bit immature, and green,” he replied, completely not offended by her question. “I might be Proditor, but some of the old biases against miscegenation are hard to shake.”
That's racist!

Whenever ponies appeared, and they did in two shows, they were always depicted as sex-frightened prudes who furiously masturbated when the zebras teasing them left. Did the zebras have their own Ministry of Image, or was this just a typical stereotype?
They say unicorns only do it through a hole in the sheeths.

“Hello Zebratopia! Zebrabrinica! Zebzinica! This is your unauthorized, unlicensed, unaffiliated, unaffected, uncompromised, uncompromising Z TV! To you from me so we can all be free! I have returned, interrupting your regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you the view of the Wasteland, whether you want it or not. Start the timer, and let’s see how long I last!”
And then Three-Dog was a zebra.

The eye-wateringly-blue-striped zebra stallion reappeared. “Now, I know what you Carnilians are saying. He’s an undead abomination, how could you possibly trust him?
So the Carnilians are ghoul bigots to? They just keep proving themselves bigger assholes.

“This was given to us specifically for if, and only if, the head of the Syndicate needed us!”
Great. So now they are in debt to the mafia.

“Why? I scavenged it and fixed it up myself! I didn’t steal–” And then it came to her. “You mean they think I’m a thief ‘cause I’m a pony?!”
It's nice to see that in zebra land, zebras hold the some racist preconceptions white people have about blacks. It makes me feel less privileged.

My name is Vega. This is Tchernobog and Vicious.” He gestured to the zebra and unicorn in turn, then pressed his hooves together before him.
"You came here expecting a madman and instead you found... a devil on Bald Mountain?"

Vicious stared at Scotch a moment. “Hey. Can you cook? Clean? Do laundry?”
I see tomboy taming in Scotch's future.

The four friends considered. A year was a long time, but after a year they’d know more, have more, and be ready for more.
Cue the montage.

“See! She can’t find them either!” Lamprey blurted. Riptide didn’t even glance at him. She gave the smallest flick of her tail, and the Atoli moved. One on either side of him seized him, holding him in place as the other two applied kicks to his hindlegs. His joints snapped like fishbones, and he collapsed, vomited, and sobbed. Then he was released as the four stepped back again.
I was getting Dragonball Abridged vibes from the zebra before, but now we know she's cold as a Freeza.


I'm interested to see how the party spends their time in Rice River. They haven't really proven themselves as heroes and all of them need to mature. Of course, given their employer, things can go south before the year is out. I also have an inkling that Carnico is going to have trouble on their hooves from the protagonists at some point. And is it just me, or does it sound like Vicious may in fact be Blackjack, going incognito?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by RoboRed on Mon Mar 14, 2016 10:38 pm

Nah, I think Blackjack is doing spooky ghostjack things back in the Hoof. Or still being "dead".
I dunno, I can't quite remember the timeline of what happened.

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Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

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If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Tue Mar 15, 2016 8:42 am

CD wrote:And is it just me, or does it sound like Vicious may in fact be Blackjack, going incognito?
She really strikes me more as a Zodiac type. Vicious is dangerously competent, where BJ was kinda just dangerous. Anyway, Scotch would see through that disguise in a Manehattan minute.

As far as I know, Blankjack should still be unconscious in 99. I don't think enough time has passed for the land around the Hoofington crater to be replanted and flourishing yet. If there's a year-long time skip, maybe, but I kind of have a feeling things are going to go south before the month is out. Even if they don't, I wouldn't count on BJ showing up in this story, even as a cameo.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Somber on Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:51 pm

It's not Blackjack.  Also, thank you for the feedback.

Vicious is one of those characters where I need an NPC and think "Wouldn't this be cool?" because the Syndicate is the one entity in the zebralands that honestly, sincerely, doesn't give a fuck of you are zebra, pony, ghoul, griffon, or whatever.  If you can do the job, are reliable, and honorable then you're in.  For this reason, they're a big threat to the status quo.

Also, Vicious likes to kill.  Likes to fuck.  Likes to party.  Likes to be happy.  She's Rampage without the death wish and Blackjack without the ethics.  As to if she's a GOOD pony... probably not.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:12 pm

“All life? Like… even flesh-eating bacteria?” Pythia asked.
“Even that should be respected, its spirit sent away and appeased rather than killed with chemicals and poison,” she retorted.
So basically she's a zebra Jehovah's Witness?
When I read it, I was thinking Jain.

“Why? I scavenged it and fixed it up myself! I didn’t steal–” And then it came to her. “You mean they think I’m a thief ‘cause I’m a pony?!”
It's nice to see that in zebra land, zebras hold the some racist preconceptions white people have about blacks. It makes me feel less privileged.
My initial reaction to that was "looks like Scotch is picking up a DWP."

The author's note saying that it really is jumping ahead or covering a year is what most surprised me: the pulling back from direct focus and only minor breaks in the flow of time for the most part is a big change, but has definite advantages. And though it's not exactly the same, allowing for things like seeing the not-Scotch kids in the swamp or the end of this chapter is a big plus of the move to full time 3rd person narration, even if it's mostly kept pretty close to Scotch.

editing:
63:
The she checked another.  And another.

"Then she"


68:
Inside was a decal of Velvet Remedy’s nightingale cutie mark and a small can like a dash inhaler.

"dash" should be capitalized


“Weird.  I know,” I assured her with a smile.
       “No.  It’s good,” she said with a smile.  “Brutus is really cute,” she flushed a little.
       “He’s… well…” I flushed as I remembered my close brush with him.  “Shiny.  Very shiny.”
       “Do you even have a port for his ship?” Thrush taunted with a smile.

At least one of the "with a smile"s should be changed to something else, and the second part of Pisces's second line is inappropriately tagged. (also, should have second space after "He's... well...", and switching out one of the "flushed" for "blushed", "[my/her face] reddened", etc. would avoid the close repetition)

I suggest something like the following:

“Weird.  I know,” I assured her with a smile.
       “No.  It’s good.”  She smiled back to/at me.  “Brutus is really cute,” she said, flushing a little.
       “He’s… well…”  My face reddened/burned as I remembered my close brush with him.  “Shiny.  Very shiny.”
       “Do you even have a port for his ship?” Thrush taunted with a grin.

or (for the relevant line)
“No.  It’s good,” she said, smiling back at/to me.  “Brutus is really cute.”  She flushed a little.

75.1:
Rainbow dash seized it, looped it round one hoof,

"dash" should be capitalized


75.2:
cleaving nothing but thin air as the she danced away,

"as she danced" (delete "the")
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by RoboRed on Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:29 pm

Somber wrote:Also, Vicious likes to kill. Likes to fuck. Likes to party. Likes to be happy. She's Rampage without the death wish and Blackjack without the ethics. As to if she's a GOOD pony... probably not.
I can see this as leading to a potentially exciting situation.

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((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Mar 19, 2016 1:14 am

@Icy Shake:
Ah, thank you very much as always.

The section with the smiling isn't in 68; I found it in 70.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Kattlarv on Sun Apr 24, 2016 10:41 pm

Well, as more than me was interested in the answer to this: What was it about the PH ending that made people utterly ignore PH once they finished it?
I've had a few experiences with games, novels and movies that made me not want to ever pick it up again. But considering people are exited for the new project, it seems like PH's case was due to a positive event.

But yeah, those of you that hasn't just left: What about PH's ending made so many of you never wanting to re-read it? Too big? Satisfying/Dissatisfying ending? I was asked to asked, so I've done just that =P
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:22 am

Hm, well, for me, I don't think that it was the ending. It's just a very long story, I've already been through it pretty intimately, and I have other things to do and other stories to read for the first time.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:29 am

Yeah, I think that's about it. Picking up a long-running fic does require a bit of an investment on the reader's part -- and when it's an ongoing fic, there's a sense that you're somehow running late until you've read the new chapter. (Not that it isn't a hundred times more effort on Somber's part!) PH was great, but it was a hell of a marathon, and it's nice to sit back, take a breath, and say, "Okay, all done." I'm loving Homelands, and I didn't hesitate to start reading it, but I'm just as happy that Somber isn't sticking to a weekly/bi-weekly schedule.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Kattlarv on Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:41 pm

Makes sense. It is like, a pretty retarded length if you just compare it to other literature heh :P
It would be sooo phat in paper form xD

But I guess that could be it.
Was just really curious how come so many never wanted to have anything to do with PH ever again. Was just really "eh?" on why so many just waved topics regarding PH away as they were "done with it". Was just curious if it had done a "Panty and Stocking", or what the reason for the large number of "never again!" towards it was. But nice to know it seems to be due to positive reasons.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Bootleg on Mon Apr 25, 2016 5:14 pm

Retarded is literally the opposite word to describe the length of PH.
 As for me, I haven't started a re-read yet because I'm still letting the story stew in my mind for another few months, or until someone starts up a physical copy thingy like they did for the original FoE.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Kattlarv on Mon Apr 25, 2016 6:54 pm

Welp. It was the best term I could come up with on the fly xP But yeah, wasn't it like, x2 the length of the bible?
And hum, first one I hear interested in re-reading it. Guess that's a nice sign :P
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:50 am

SilentCarto wrote:Yeah, I think that's about it. Picking up a long-running fic does require a bit of an investment on the reader's part -- and when it's an ongoing fic, there's a sense that you're somehow running late until you've read the new chapter. (Not that it isn't a hundred times more effort on Somber's part!) PH was great, but it was a hell of a marathon, and it's nice to sit back, take a breath, and say, "Okay, all done." I'm loving Homelands, and I didn't hesitate to start reading it, but I'm just as happy that Somber isn't sticking to a weekly/bi-weekly schedule.
Some of this is that I agree with O. Hinds. But there's also this. I've been relatively involved both with PH and Homelands, but it's not necessarily resulted in much conversation. There are a few things that push that way. One is that as of approximately when PH ended, I've had a lot less time available to engage with fanfic of any variety. But more specifically, there have been some PH related effects. One is that the relevant point for new discussion has not been this thread, but Homelands on Fimfiction. Even disregarding that, any further discussion of PH would require choosing a topic out of PH itself. It is much harder to latch onto a topic out of 1.8 million words than out of ~20-25 thousand from a chapter post. Because a conversation requires a confluence of interest, not merely that of one person; that's why I've managed something of a dialogue on PH's Fimfic page, but not here: I've been responding to someone else who has been offering little comments as he's read through a chapter at a time. Granted, I'd have probably guaranteed about a post per week here if my personal situation had remained the same since last year, but I wouldn't have expected much engagement from that. The modal response from my chapter posts was, I believe, one from O. Hinds, acknowledging the editing issues I highlighted. And there's nothing wrong with that, even from the perspective of people reading what I thought about a given chapter: after all, those posts grew out of me noting errors I noticed from the readings of the chapters as I went through them, mostly while driving. The fact is, the best chance for conversation is new content, and because the publication strategy of Homelands has been through Fimfiction (and EQD's FoE omnibus update posts, (admittedly, I'm not sure why Homelands doesn't get a sequel post like so many other stories do)), it doesn't direct much traffic here. It's too bad, and of course the threading there isn't as good for ongoing discussion. But it's where the eyeballs are. And without new content (where the natural focal point is this particular thread), there's nothing to direct attention to any particular point and stimulate conversation.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by swicked on Tue Apr 26, 2016 1:34 am

Eh, the reason I don't talk about Homelands on here at all is because this topic is for PH discussion.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:56 am

The first rule of Homelands is you do not talk about Homelands!
The second rule of Homelands is you do not talk about Homelands!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Somber on Wed Apr 27, 2016 4:08 pm

Why not talk about homelands?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:48 am

It was just a joking reference to Fight Club.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Somber on Thu Apr 28, 2016 11:32 am

Yeah, but he was really talking about his own schizophrenia.  Please, talk about it!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Fri Apr 29, 2016 12:06 am

Smiling Jack whipped the hat off his bare skull, giving me a hard stare with empty eye sockets. Then he waved vaguely toward the bed. "Sit."

What could I do? I sat. "Answer me. Why do people think you're me?"

The skeleton slowly slid the hat back on his head, grinning the whole time. "I think you know."

"No, I don't," I said.

"Yes, you do. Why would anypony possibly confuse me with you?"

"I... I don't know," I insisted, but an image flashed in my mind's eye. A field of bones, armored pegasi. Yellow River. A bloody rib was clutched... in my own hand.

Smiling Jack -- Wasteland -- whatever his name was, the bony bastard cocked his head, eyeing me with empty sockets. "You got it."

"No..." I whispered. Another flash -- a little pink filly screaming my name as my hooves came down on her.

His skinless face leered at me. "Say it."

"Because..." I trailed off. Flash -- a fever dream. I pushed forty chips into the middle of a table, then flipped the cards. My loss. I pushed the chips toward an empty chair.

"Say it!"

"Because I am the wasteland."
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by swicked on Fri Apr 29, 2016 3:25 am

Somber wrote:Yeah, but he was really talking about his own schizophrenia.  Please, talk about it!
Eh, fine.
I've got a pretty typical fan question I've been wanting to ask:
Those here that read Homelands... do you have a favorite among the new mane 4?

I think I've mostly adopted Pythia and Majina, the first being so sarcastic and jaded she has a response to any twist of the knife and the latter being simultaneously the first to get upset and yet also the first to have any given situation fly right over her head.

Bronode, in turn, has adopted Precious. She's tough and aggressive, matches a lot of his humor, and can be wonderfully petty and short-sighted when it pleases her all while she hides a greater intelligence than any give her credit for. Oh, and she's not a zebra. Bronode's firmly of the opinion the striped menace need to be thoroughly eradicated, starting with these stupid "life loving" ones.

So yeah, I'd be interested in seeing who ends up the most popular of the lot. The team's also not full, as was probably obvious, so there'll be some new contenders eventually and I look forward to seeing how they change the group dynamic.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Fri Apr 29, 2016 10:34 pm

swicked wrote:I've got a pretty typical fan question I've been wanting to ask:
Those here that read Homelands... do you have a favorite among the new mane 4?
I don't, actually, and that really surprised me. Each of them charms and annoys me by turns, which I think makes them come off as both more three-dimensional and more childlike. They frequently create their own obstacles, which is good for storytelling.

In particular, I like how Scotch is smart and savvy, which means she can frequently cut through bullshit to the simplest solution, but at the same time, she tends to shoot off her mouth and offend those who hold the bullshit sacred, and she has yet to learn to see the line between bullshit and stuff she just didn't know yet. And I'm liking the early hints of latent shamanism shading into technomancy.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Kattlarv on Sat Apr 30, 2016 1:16 pm

Either case: Blah... wish I could get my motivation going again. Want to pick up with the revisions again. First gotta un-fuck the minor changes and just stick to the major ones. Then keep fixing contradictions, plot holes and inconsistencies. Not too many of them, but get poked about resuming every now and then.

Something kinda tells me that with the current situations, I will either be finished when homelands is finished. And/or I will finish when the few people that have interest to revisit PH, has already done it. Things really don't like being easy xD Ah well. I will hopefully get around to it someday. By this point it's more of a principal thing if anything xD I'm gonna get to the end of both. Maybe not this year. But by Gummy am I going to do it xP

At least thanks to feedback figured out what the main edit issue was: Drolling on about stuff. Many of the minor changes apparently worked, but was ruined when they were repeated. So hey, progress I guess hehe.
Kinda curious if I'll pick up homelands afterwards. But it might be really good if Somber has learned from their mistakes in PH. From the sounds of it, that might be the case going how people are discussing it ^^
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Somber on Sat Apr 30, 2016 2:27 pm

Or you could write your own stories.  That's an option.  And yes, I have learned.  I am trying to keep the references close to zero.  While it's going to be a big story, it hopefully won't have the power creep.  Cross my fingers and hope for the best.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by SilentCarto on Sun May 01, 2016 4:21 pm

Kattlarv wrote:Either case: Blah... wish I could get my motivation going again.
There was an interesting tweet I saw the other day on that topic, oddly enough.
https://twitter.com/heyjenbartel/status/725962950738120704

"Better to cultivate discipline than to rely on motivation... Discipline is reliable, motivation is fleeting. The question isn't how to keep yourself motivated, it's how to train yourself to work without it."

This is talking about doing anything creative professionally, mind you, but when you combine that with Walt Stanchfield's "ten thousand bad drawings"...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by swicked on Sun May 01, 2016 8:59 pm

I wasn't available to brush the later half of the latest chapter and am only going through it now.

I am very worried about Majina.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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