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[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by TB3 on Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:06 pm

O. Hinds wrote:Welcome to the forum, TB3, and thank you very much for those words of support for Somber and the story.  :)

Thanks Hinds, and please allow me to extend the same thanks to the editorial staff :)

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:51 pm

Thank you. :)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sun Jul 12, 2015 2:29 am

So, since digging for things that FoE writers have "predicted" that ended up happening in the show is a time-honored tradition, in light of this week's episode . . .
Spoiler:
Massively plagued by guilt, self-punishing and self-destructive Luna.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Jul 12, 2015 6:02 pm

Correction notification: we have changed in 75b an instance of Boo calling Discord her father; she was meant to call him her uncle, as usual.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CD on Sun Jul 12, 2015 8:04 pm

O. Hinds wrote:Correction notification: we have changed in 75b an instance of Boo calling Discord her father; she was meant to call him her uncle, as usual.

Discord: Blackjack never told you what happened to your father.
Boo: She told me enough! She told me I'm a clone trooper.
Discord: No. I am your father!
Boo: That's not true! That's impossible!
Discord: Search your feelings, you know it is true!
Boo: Feelings have nothing to do with it. In previous chapters I have always referred to you, and you have acknowledged yourself as, an uncle to me.
Discord: Oh bother. I always hate it when ponies don't go along with reenacting a movie scene.
Boo: Movie?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Jul 12, 2015 8:22 pm

Hah! :D
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Jul 12, 2015 9:07 pm

Icy Shake, Triage's description came up again in some editing I was doing, and I've made some notes about it in the spreadsheet, just as a reminder; I hope you don't mind. We can remove the notes once her new colors (which I'm not sure what to call) are solidified and the old descriptions are corrected.
I also went ahead and put in Colonel Cupcake's updated colors.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sun Jul 12, 2015 9:53 pm

Hey, that's what it's there for. Here's the relevant editing stuff I could find on those topics, plus a few others.

Spoiler:
13:
I looked over at the unimpressive oil painting hanging askew on the wall; a fat white buck straining his uniform.  Colonel Cupcake.  

Cupdake should be brown


15:
Fortunately, Luna does provide the occasional blessing, such as a wooden hoofball bat lying on a table next to some very dated copies of Playbuck and Ponylife.

"baseball bat" (you actually use "baseball bat" several times, and it's featured in FoE)


17:
I could have used him as a hoofball bat!

"baseball bat" (you actually use "baseball bat" several times, and it's featured in FoE)


27:
struggled to focus on the pale blue unicorn with a deep indigo mane.

update Triage's color


28:
“The Collegiate is the home of the Zodiacs, you half-horned idiot!” the blue medical pony told me firmly and with just a hint of exasperation.

update Triage's color


’m glad the Prof isn’t a complete basket case.”

I don't think "Prof" should be capitalized


I’m glad the Prof isn’t a complete basket case.”

"Prof" shouldn't be capitalized


29:
So she was a projection too, like the Professor, only a machine.

"Professor" shouldn't be capitalized


30:
The Prof was eager to find some steel pony she once knew.

"Prof" shouldn't be capitalized


The Prof kept on finding all this old data from centuries back.

"Prof" shouldn't be capitalized


50:
Belts.  Hoofball bats.  Crowbars.  Anything to get the message through,”

"baseball bat" (you actually use "baseball bat" several times, and it's featured in FoE)


“Colonel Cupcake,” Twist said with a salute.  The hefty white pegasus looked at her and let a smile curve his lips fondly before he became all business again.

Cupcake should be brown


51:
Triage muttered, the blue unicorn lighting another cigarette

update Triage's color


the blue mare said as she took a long pull on her cigarette and let the smoke blast out her nostrils.

update Triage's color


“How’re the Prof’s parts?”

I don't think "Prof" should be capitalized


“How’re the Prof’s parts?”

"Prof" shouldn't be capitalized


53:
“I dunno,” the blue unicorn said, her lips twitching around her cigarette.  “Sprained ankle?”

update Triage's color


The blue unicorn sighed.  “I think we can do that.

update Triage's color


My immunity seemed to annoy the blue mare; I supposed she didn’t like mysteries any more than I did.

update Triage's color


the critically ill were stabilized enough for the blue unicorn to take Glory’s place.  

update Triage's color


63:
“You think you can?  Would that do anything?  It’s creating that wave,” Glory objected.  When Triage looked at her flatly, the pegasi relented.

looking back, it's not clear which pegasi besides Glory had been objecting and thus could relent; it seems like it's just her. suggest "pegasi" to "pegasus"


“Sorry,” Glory said, ears folding back a little as she looked away from microscope eyepiece and to the blue unicorn.

update Triage's color


70:
."  She casually checked the pack on her beam pistol, and Rover scraped his formidable metal claws together.  "They won't be any trouble."

non-directional quotation marks


The bunker housing their tree of life was practically right underneath it

in 68 and 69, "tree(s) of life" was capitalized
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Jul 12, 2015 10:41 pm

@Icy Shake:
Ah, thank you very much.

regarding the bats:
...Did we not decide that hoofball used bats? Hm. Though you're right that baseball (and baseball bats) is in the original, and hoofball isn't...
...And the occurrences of "baseball bat" in PH actually outnumber those of "hoofball bat"...
Eh, yeah, I'd better make the change. Thanks for finding these!

I've updated Triage's colors in the spreadsheet.

Icy Shake wrote:’m glad the Prof isn’t a complete basket case.”

I don't think "Prof" should be capitalized


I’m glad the Prof isn’t a complete basket case.”

"Prof" shouldn't be capitalized
You appear to have listed that twice.

Icy Shake wrote:“How’re the Prof’s parts?”

I don't think "Prof" should be capitalized


“How’re the Prof’s parts?”

"Prof" shouldn't be capitalized
And again, with the same format. Curious.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sun Jul 12, 2015 11:07 pm

Yeah, that is weird. Sorry.

On the subject of the bats, there's also a bit from Hightower that kind of cut down on the ambiguity of what hoofball is:
Then a hoofball whizzed through the air and smashed her upside her face, deflecting to crash into the back of Rampage’s head. From there it rocketed straight at me. I raised my hooves, popped my fingers free, and caught the oval brown ball.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Mon Jul 13, 2015 12:29 am

No problem.

Aye, I mentioned that in the discussion last time, I think.  Thanks, though.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Mon Jul 13, 2015 12:37 am

My one weakness—remembering things for over a week!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Mon Jul 13, 2015 1:33 am

:)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Jul 18, 2015 4:51 pm


And the penultimate chapter, 76!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CD on Sat Jul 18, 2015 5:22 pm

First!

Okay, so that's not very insightful commentary. Let me just say I was looking forward to this in light of a whole bunch of other drama these last weeks.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by decumos on Sat Jul 18, 2015 5:41 pm

76:
Uhm... Is it me, or does Big Momma talk like that Scottish wife from Samurai Jack?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by RoboRed on Sat Jul 18, 2015 6:10 pm

OF HAPPENINGS

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sat Jul 18, 2015 8:37 pm

HOLY SHIT HYPE


Okay, just finished reading it. No commentary to provide at this time. I'm sure something witty will come to me tomorrow or later.

In the meantime, well...

Good job Somber. Good freaking job. I'm hyped for the ending you have in store.


And because I'm sure it was pretty much set-up so people would speculate on it...

Ch.76 spoiler:
Who do you all think are going to be the remaining members of BJ's End-of-the-World party?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CD on Sat Jul 18, 2015 9:03 pm

Spoiler:
Why does Blackjack believe Glory is alive? I don't remember that from 75.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sat Jul 18, 2015 9:15 pm

Spoiler:
Fragments of conversations she caught while remote-observing what was happening in the Hoof. I don't remember where exactly it was stated, though.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Jul 18, 2015 9:57 pm

Harmony wrote:And because I'm sure it was pretty much set-up so people would speculate on it...
That was the idea, yes. :)

CD wrote:
Spoiler:
Why does Blackjack believe Glory is alive? I don't remember that from 75.
Spoiler:
[quote=Chapter 75]Goldenblood stared at that maw, that abomination that he had unwittingly served. I was such a fool. I should have trusted more in Glory. If she could hold on after the space--
And it let out a scream of Enervation that could be heard around the world.
oooOOOooo
Like a candle in a tornado, Goldenblood’s pool disappeared. I floated in that void, thinking of his final thoughts. The remaining pools had grown hard as rock, and I couldn’t push into them anymore. Right now, I couldn’t care about that. I had only one thought, and a tiny ghost of a smile on my lips.
Morning Glory was alive![/quote]

Harmony wrote:
Spoiler:
Fragments of conversations she caught while remote-observing what was happening in the Hoof. I don't remember where exactly it was stated, though.
Spoiler:
Well, the main bit, the one I've quoted above, was at the very end of the second part of 75.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by swicked on Sun Jul 19, 2015 1:07 am

Harmony wrote:And because I'm sure it was pretty much set-up so people would speculate on it...
I convinced the group to chop off three whole pages for that.
You're welcome! Twilight Sparkle

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by WavemasterRyx on Sun Jul 19, 2015 4:14 am

*nuzzles Somber and Hinds each just barely*

A whole lot more crying than I've done for a while... but it's a very solid chapter, definitely fitting for the first half of a finale.



Chapter 76 Commentary:


It's really not a good sign at all for the Enervation to be affecting them so strongly during their descent...

"I'll just wait here.  Can you tell me when I'm supposed to kill you?" - I do kinda feel sorry for this Brood...

Luna infecting Blackjack's thoughts is really every bit as painful and depressing as when Trixie was doing it, if not worse.

"We passed a room, and I spotted Velvet Remedy, Calamity[...]" - Ah, so it would appear they did survive, as expected.

"The last shreds of light vanished from the sky, till nothing remained.  Nothing at all." - Yeah... also expected...  Even as much as I was prepared for it though, it still hurt incredibly badly.

That happy future that could never happen... it's just missing one thing...

“And if you call me ‘sweetie’ again, I’ll personally get a dead star to piss on your wedding day.” - Almost made me smile.  I'm kinda glad Pythia is still around and on Blackjack's side...

“So the question is... know anyone with any experience having their soul linked up to a couple thousand perfect killing machines without going completely insane?” - I was really expecting Blackjack to do it... maybe "Blackjack" would have.

"The shimmering sphere rose higher and higher into the sky.  It was still enmeshed in the remains of a cloud base, and that was being hauled by a half dozen different Raptors."  "Since we couldn’t cut through the interference, he figured that the S.P.P. hub could control the towers through line of sight.” - Really an extremely impressive scene.

"I’d scream forever, past forever, till all the stars died and only the eternal void remained.  And I’d scream in that blackness, forever.  Then I was held.  Not by ghostly hooves of memory but by the warm, caring hooves of the living.  They squeezed me as tightly around the middle as they could as somepony else’s tears dropped onto my neck." - Yeah... just... crying uncontrollably with them...

“The Legate will always be a part of them, I fear.  Diluting it with myself is the only hope I have to give them any peace.” - Oh, they gave it to Psalm?  Well that would explain why Luna was speaking so derogatorily about who was trying to help the Brood...  I'd thought they were referring to Velvet, but it really didn't seem right.

"I may have lost my friends, but I was far from on my own." - Trying not to cry again...

“You’ve got enough room on the car for six or so” - I'm so happy to see some of the names in that list... but there's no way I could pick...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Jul 19, 2015 4:23 am

Thank you.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Evilgidgit on Sun Jul 19, 2015 5:51 pm

And now, the end is near. And so we face the final curtain...

I'm both happy and sad Project Horizons is coming to end. It's been one heck of a rollercoaster ride of emotions, thrills, and some really wonderful writing and characters. I think it is actually better than Fallout Equestria in some respects. And to be honest, it is probably the best piece of fanfiction I've ever read.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Jul 19, 2015 6:26 pm

Thank you, Evilgidgit. :)

Also, the title and quote (though the latter isn't completely fixed yet) for the final chapter are up on the hub page. In case anyone needed more hype. :)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by WavemasterRyx on Sun Jul 19, 2015 6:37 pm

Chapter 76 Commentary, Small addition...:
I really should say... it was nice that they got to spend a little more time together...  Of the ways I was expecting it to still end with Glory's death (or worse), it was probably one of the least bad ways it could have happened, for what comfort that is...

And it really is touching that even as she was dieing she was still coming up with a plan to help Blackjack save the world...  I'd take her plan any day over the robots' or any other.

Harmony Ltd. wrote:
Ch.76 spoiler:
Who do you all think are going to be the remaining members of BJ's End-of-the-World party?
Spoiler:
I know it's a huge risk, but I really hope she brings Scotch and Boo...  I think she needs them to be there, just as badly as she needs people who could be more valuable in a fight...

Maybe Rover and Pythia for their knowledge... and a solid fighter like Carrion...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sun Jul 19, 2015 6:47 pm

WavemasterRyx wrote:
Chapter 76 Commentary, Small addition...:
I really should say... it was nice that they got to spend a little more time together...  Of the ways I was expecting it to still end with Glory's death (or worse), it was probably one of the least bad ways it could have happened, for what comfort that is...

And it really is touching that even as she was dieing she was still coming up with a plan to help Blackjack save the world...  I'd take her plan any day over the robots' or any other.
Agreed. :)
(Except for the "any day" bit; it's good, yes, but there are too many unknown possibilities for me to currently feel confident saying that it is the absolute best out of all potential ones.)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by CD on Sun Jul 19, 2015 10:12 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:
Ch.76 spoiler:
Who do you all think are going to be the remaining members of BJ's End-of-the-World party?
Spoiler:
I know it's a huge risk, but I really hope she brings Scotch and Boo...  I think she needs them to be there, just as badly as she needs people who could be more valuable in a fight...

Maybe Rover and Pythia for their knowledge... and a solid fighter like Carrion...

Spoiler:
It's one of those 'choose your party' memes. So we already have Blackjack as the Leader, Whisper as the Melee. Hmm, I'll think I'd take Psalm as my Sniper. Rover as the Tech. Lancer as the Thief. Pythia as the Mage. Sadly, Velvet Remedy is the only Medic available, and she's horribly Flanderized. I kinda wish their transport capacity wasn't as much of an issue as moonstone talismans, or Apple Bot, Sweetie Bot, Scootabot and Pyrelight would have been no-brainers.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by RoboRed on Sun Jul 19, 2015 11:11 pm

Spoiler:
Well, I remember long, looooong ago, when I first posted this song, it was supposed to be for Blackjack dying, and Glory lamenting her.

Now...I suppose it also works the other way around.

Spoiler:
I think it works well for the bit in the Star House, too.

Anyways, RIP, Glory. Pretty damn sad...every member of Blackjack's original party is gone now, except for Scotch.

...

...Please don't let her die next...

Great chapter overall. Everything finally is coming to the end. There were also some subtle humorous lines I caught in the text that I got a good laugh out of.

That final six party members choice, though. Heh. If this were a game, this is the definitely the part where you'd save at to catch all the alternate endings. And that's a LOT of potential alternate endings, given Blackjack's choices of what to do, and the available party member options.

On another note, I can't help but shake this feeling...what if the ultimate choice for the party members isn't set in stone yet, but is actually set by what Somber & co. read from speculation in the coming months from here, FIMfic, EQD, Reddit, 4chan, and other places?
Shy

editing notes:
Well, I saw a couple, but I forgot all of them except one, and I don't remember specifically where it was. But there was a part where someone said "Okay,,,". Yes, with three commas instead of three periods for an ellipsis.

------------------
Aonee wrote:
jacky2734 wrote:((Aonee, don't make me invent a way to punch you over the internet.))
((If you do, I will invent a Korean technique to block it with someone else's face. And, construct more pylons.))

CamoBadger wrote:((Wow, zebra incest is powerful shit))

Mister Frost's friend, "Darren" wrote:"I'm scared to break up with her, though. Her dad's an ex-marine; if I make her cry he'll club me over the head with a pillowcase full of doorknobs and Tom Clancy novels."

Sindri wrote:This is a thread for fans of a fanfiction of a fanfiction about murderous miniature pastel equines in a grimdark post-apocalyptic future.
If you wanted to stay anywhere near socially acceptable, you should have taken a left turn about three layers of WTF back.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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