Fallout Equestria: Broken Bonds.

Hey! I'm part of the community that just invaded... engulfed... migrated to your forums!
I came along with Project Horizons and such, but realised that there are some of you whom have read the original story! Even Project Horizons, in at least one case!

With this, I thought why not promote my own story; Broken Bonds.

I'm nowhere near as good as Kkat or Somber (original & Project Horizons) - I know that for a fact, but I do try to do my best.
So if anyone is at all interested in reading something a little less dark then P.H but still different from the original, I'm in early days with my story with only 61,750 words over 6 chapters.

The setting is in a new past of the Wasteland - Four Ridges / Coltchester.
To the south-east of Fillydelphia, my story is set during the final days of the original and will last well past the original (not including afterword)


I don't expect anyone to be interested to be honest with you, but its still better to try, right?

Non spoiler pictures: (In spoiler to reduce load times!)

Spoiler:

A link to my story can be found both http://www.fimfiction.net/story/12591/Fallout-Equestria%3A-Broken-Bonds and in my signature!


Art / Ask blog : http://foe-brokenbonds.tumblr.com/

Kippershy wrote:Hey! I'm part of the community that just invaded... engulfed... migrated to your forums!
I came along with Project Horizons and such, but realised that there are some of you whom have read the original story! Even Project Horizons, in at least one case!

With this, I thought why not promote my own story; Broken Bonds.

I'm nowhere near as good as Kkat or Somber (original & Project Horizons) - I know that for a fact, but I do try to do my best.
So if anyone is at all interested in reading something a little less dark then P.H but still different from the original, I'm in early days with my story with only 61,750 words over 6 chapters.

The setting is in a new past of the Wasteland - Four Ridges / Coltchester.
To the south-east of Fillydelphia, my story is set during the final days of the original and will last well past the original (not including afterword)


I don't expect anyone to be interested to be honest with you, but its still better to try, right?

Non spoiler pictures: (In spoiler to reduce load times!)

Spoiler:

A link to my story can be found both http://www.fimfiction.net/story/12591/Fallout-Equestria%3A-Broken-Bonds and in my signature!

I'm gonna have to read that just because of that rabbit picture (instantly reminded me of Donnie Darko, so I am now interested) Added to my que!

Nightmare Moon wrote:

Kippershy wrote:Hey! I'm part of the community that just invaded... engulfed... migrated to your forums!
I came along with Project Horizons and such, but realised that there are some of you whom have read the original story! Even Project Horizons, in at least one case!

With this, I thought why not promote my own story; Broken Bonds.

I'm nowhere near as good as Kkat or Somber (original & Project Horizons) - I know that for a fact, but I do try to do my best.
So if anyone is at all interested in reading something a little less dark then P.H but still different from the original, I'm in early days with my story with only 61,750 words over 6 chapters.

The setting is in a new past of the Wasteland - Four Ridges / Coltchester.
To the south-east of Fillydelphia, my story is set during the final days of the original and will last well past the original (not including afterword)


I don't expect anyone to be interested to be honest with you, but its still better to try, right?

Non spoiler pictures: (In spoiler to reduce load times!)

Spoiler:

A link to my story can be found both http://www.fimfiction.net/story/12591/Fallout-Equestria%3A-Broken-Bonds and in my signature!

I'm gonna have to read that just because of that rabbit picture (instantly reminded me of Donnie Darko, so I am now interested) Added to my que!

-Squee-!
That little guy is called a radbit. I've made a little bit of backstory/information on them over here at the fallout equestria wiki
I think you'll find it quite cute.

Radbits will have their first major piece in the next chapter. (though they have been mentioned like, once before.)

Nightmare Moon wrote:I'm gonna have to read that just because of that rabbit picture

Is that half a pair of scissors? He looks so... angry. Dag-nabbit, looks like I have to read another fic.

Meleagridis wrote:

Nightmare Moon wrote:I'm gonna have to read that just because of that rabbit picture

Is that half a pair of scissors? He looks so... angry. Dag-nabbit, looks like I have to read another fic.

Ahaha, yes it is!
The artist decided they weren't threatening sounding enough simply eating wood like anything, so he gave them a half scissor to act as a sword of sorts.
I love it and I'm totally cool with them having their own variations of weapons.

Also - for those of you who have found yourself interested in my story - if you find yourselves enjoying it but lacking in certain elements or if there's a particular piece of the story you think needs improvement ---

I am very open to constructive criticism.

I admit I have had one problem with unhelpful criticism setting me off on a non-vulgar nor hateful rampage to explain why I'm writing my way and why I'm going slow with introducing backstory and flaws to my characters, but as long as any problems are presented to me in such a way like the following:

This is my opinion on _____
(optional) It doesn't work for _____ reason
This is how you could change it ______


I'm as responsive as they get, with one of my followers saying I'm the most responsive Fallout Equestria author they've ever come across.
It's true, I do like to check my stuff multiple times a day for any updates, because that's me.


Anyway - if you like it but have any problems, or even if you like it and just want to praise me, feel free to let me know and I promise I'll read it and thank you, either way.

Just please no dead end complaints which give nothing more then "This is rubbish. I don't like this. This isn't in my tastes." if you're looking for improvements with my story.


Thank you :)

I just opened a tab to read this later. I wanna read it now but I'm at my friends house and he wants to do something outside. Laaaaaame!

SubjectSigma wrote:I just opened a tab to read this later. I wanna read it now but I'm at my friends house and he wants to do something outside. Laaaaaame!

OUTSIDE?! But the day star burns!

I need to start reading this it sounds really good.

Just a heads up - the story doesn't properly begin until chapter 3. chapter 1 and two sets up why the story is, the home region, who the characters and and such, but doesn't really 'begin' the story as such.
(Though still all essential and worthwhile)

Kippershy wrote:Just a heads up - the story doesn't properly begin until chapter 3. chapter 1 and two sets up why the story is, the home region, who the characters and and such, but doesn't really 'begin' the story as such.
(Though still all essential and worthwhile)

Why not label them as prologue, then? Put the title of Chapter only on the chapters proper.

Meleagridis wrote:

Kippershy wrote:Just a heads up - the story doesn't properly begin until chapter 3. chapter 1 and two sets up why the story is, the home region, who the characters and and such, but doesn't really 'begin' the story as such.
(Though still all essential and worthwhile)

Why not label them as prologue, then? Put the title of Chapter only on the chapters proper.

Simply because that goes against the way I see them. Prologue would render them (in my mind) without merit, no need to really remember the surroundings or people.
That's not the case for my story, the places and people involved in chapter one and two are very important and continue to play an active role.

It's only that the actual journey into the wastes doesn't take place until the safety of the gated community is left.

Question/spoiler time kiddies!
Let me ask you...

Spoiler:

*Raises Hoof*
I would like one, if thats okay with you.

guarddogjr wrote:*Raises Hoof*
I would like one, if thats okay with you.

Sure! here!
-hands you one-

Super spoiler:

Spoiler:

Kippershy wrote:

guarddogjr wrote:*Raises Hoof*
I would like one, if thats okay with you.

Sure! here!
-hands you one-

Super spoiler:

Spoiler:

D:

Nightmare Moon wrote:

Kippershy wrote:

guarddogjr wrote:*Raises Hoof*
I would like one, if thats okay with you.

Sure! here!
-hands you one-

Super spoiler:

Spoiler:

D:

It's for their own good! Honest!

Spoiler:

Kippershy wrote:

guarddogjr wrote:*Raises Hoof*
I would like one, if thats okay with you.

Sure! here!
-hands you one-

Super spoiler:

Spoiler:

*grabs radbit and gives you hugs* Thankyou, I promise I'll take good care of him

guarddogjr wrote:

Kippershy wrote:

guarddogjr wrote:*Raises Hoof*
I would like one, if thats okay with you.

Sure! here!
-hands you one-

Super spoiler:

Spoiler:

*grabs radbit and gives you hugs* Thankyou, I promise I'll take good care of him

haha, you're welcome!
He'll eat just about anything, bar metal.

P.S.

don't trust him with tiny wooden swords

You guys made my week. I'm the one who drew the Radbit.

Nice idea starting a thread here. These guys are pretty nice.
To whomever has yet to read this story:

Do it. It is easily up to par.

That is all.

ketchup504 wrote:Nice idea starting a thread here. These guys are pretty nice.
To whomever has yet to read this story:

Do it. It is easily up to par.

That is all.

Thank you ever so much for the praise! ^__________^ Keeps me strong in my times of weakness.

TheLastDefender wrote:You guys made my week. I'm the one who drew the Radbit.

Thought I recognised both the name and drawing style (avatar).
Once again - thank you for that.

Little update for those who don't follow my fimfic blog -

I've got 1,200+ words written now (not including teaser) and I've gotten through the toughest part of this chapter (or it felt like it. normally I have one tough part to write where the dialogue just doesn't feel right at first and takes a good few different tries to get going) and when I do get back to it

That, in my terms, means progress has been extremely slow - but will inevitably speed up like a bat out of hell once the night (in story) is over.
The rest of the chapter is planned and penned, meaning I only have to look at my notebook for a reminder of what I wanted to do / who to meet / big events.

Obviously small events, 99% of the dialogue and some of the most random stuff in the story is organic, straight from the brain the second its thought up, but it definitely helps to have some kind've "guiding road" to follow.


In related news, I'm not entirely sure on this latest bit, and if anyone is willing to lend a hoof in proof reading; it would be one of the very rare exclusions to my 'without an editor' status.

(I had help with chapter 1 before a total rewrite almost, and I've asked for help one other time in this sense, as far as I can recall)

So... Anyone willing to read/review and suggest changes (if needed) to a certain segment?

I'd love to, but I'm not even through what you have up right now. I'll happily take a look at future chapters once I catch up, but currently I'm freakin' busy and it's causing my reading que to grow exponentially.

Kippershy wrote:Little update for those who don't follow my fimfic blog -

I've got 1,200+ words written now (not including teaser) and I've gotten through the toughest part of this chapter (or it felt like it. normally I have one tough part to write where the dialogue just doesn't feel right at first and takes a good few different tries to get going) and when I do get back to it

That, in my terms, means progress has been extremely slow - but will inevitably speed up like a bat out of hell once the night (in story) is over.
The rest of the chapter is planned and penned, meaning I only have to look at my notebook for a reminder of what I wanted to do / who to meet / big events.

Obviously small events, 99% of the dialogue and some of the most random stuff in the story is organic, straight from the brain the second its thought up, but it definitely helps to have some kind've "guiding road" to follow.


In related news, I'm not entirely sure on this latest bit, and if anyone is willing to lend a hoof in proof reading; it would be one of the very rare exclusions to my 'without an editor' status.

(I had help with chapter 1 before a total rewrite almost, and I've asked for help one other time in this sense, as far as I can recall)

So... Anyone willing to read/review and suggest changes (if needed) to a certain segment?

I'd love to, but I don't think I'm up to the task. Try looking on other forums for helpers as well, perhaps?

Nightmare Moon wrote:I'd love to, but I'm not even through what you
have up right now. I'll happily take a look at future chapters once I
catch up, but currently I'm freakin' busy and it's causing my reading
que to grow exponentially.

That's fine.
Thanks for even reading my story! (or having it in que.)
I
honestly haven't expected anyone to start reading my story because
despite everything I like about my own work, I just can't look at it and
imagine people wanting to read it.

To make things worse, Somber
was the one who inspired me to write, and I compare both myself and my
work to him and his... which makes mine look like a pack of mentos in a
bottle of coke sitting next to Apollo 11

...so yeah, thank you for even wasting any of your time on it, means a lot to me.

ketchup504 wrote:

Kippershy wrote:Little update for those who don't follow my fimfic blog -

I've got 1,200+ words written now (not including teaser) and I've gotten through the toughest part of this chapter (or it felt like it. normally I have one tough part to write where the dialogue just doesn't feel right at first and takes a good few different tries to get going) and when I do get back to it

That, in my terms, means progress has been extremely slow - but will inevitably speed up like a bat out of hell once the night (in story) is over.
The rest of the chapter is planned and penned, meaning I only have to look at my notebook for a reminder of what I wanted to do / who to meet / big events.

Obviously small events, 99% of the dialogue and some of the most random stuff in the story is organic, straight from the brain the second its thought up, but it definitely helps to have some kind've "guiding road" to follow.


In related news, I'm not entirely sure on this latest bit, and if anyone is willing to lend a hoof in proof reading; it would be one of the very rare exclusions to my 'without an editor' status.

(I had help with chapter 1 before a total rewrite almost, and I've asked for help one other time in this sense, as far as I can recall)

So... Anyone willing to read/review and suggest changes (if needed) to a certain segment?

I'd love to, but I don't think I'm up to the task. Try looking on other forums for helpers as well, perhaps?

That's fine :) Thank you anyway. The fact that you read my story and say it's any good amazes me as it is. thank you.

Oh, by the way - getting drunk solved everything!
I edited the story while drunk, wrote another 300 words in, switched it out a tiny bit, and now I'm comfortable with how it sits.

Which means I can start getting into the main part of the chapter where all the exciting stuff begins to happen.

Goood. Goood.

Aye, it was a good chapter, Kipper. I'd give a review, but I'm not one for walls of text :P