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[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:15 pm

Ch.36: "I tried imagining a blowing the card over."
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by WavemasterRyx on Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:21 pm

Something I was thinking about last night while I was trying to get to sleep… I really hope none of the people whining about Blackjack being a “Mary Sue” play X-COM. It would surely kill them inside to use Archangel Armor, and that’s not what games are about, games are supposed to be fun.


Last edited by WavemasterRyx on Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:48 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Guest on Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:36 pm

WavemasterRyx wrote: and that's not what games are about, games are supposed to be fun.

That's not entirely true. Games designed to deliver a challenge are at least partially about balance. If an upgrade exists that gives you too much of an edge over your opponent in the game's in question then there's a problem. Not saying that either BJ's upgrades or that armor is unbalanced or OP or whatever term you would use as I still haven't reached that part in the story and I've never played Xcom so I lack first hand experience. But no I'd disagree while a game is meant to be a form of entertainment how certain games strive to entertain you is definitely different.

Deadrising let's you mow down wave after wave of mindless zombies. While games like Xcom test your wit and from what I've seen in some of those harder modes patience or stubborness depending on your outlook.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:24 pm

This landed on my dash, and I felt it was kinda relevant to PH in general:

http://www.gr8writingtips.com/post/71236922727/writing-tip-700
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:24 pm

Scienza wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:
Scienza wrote:Speaking of Scorch, has there been any news regarding the FoE radio play, specifically, the next episode which I'm eagerly awaiting.
I've not heard anything.  Then again, I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter of the audiobook, so...
Same, but I've been forced to accept that it might not ever happen, since it's been exactly a year and a day since Chapter 25.
Why would he abandon the project, though?

Vergil wrote:Ch.36: "I tried imagining a blowing the card over."
Ah, thank you.

Harmony Ltd. wrote:This landed on my dash, and I felt it was kinda relevant to PH in general:

http://www.gr8writingtips.com/post/71236922727/writing-tip-700
:)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Scienza on Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:49 pm

O. Hinds wrote:
Scienza wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:
Scienza wrote:Speaking of Scorch, has there been any news regarding the FoE radio play, specifically, the next episode which I'm eagerly awaiting.
I've not heard anything.  Then again, I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter of the audiobook, so...
Same, but I've been forced to accept that it might not ever happen, since it's been exactly a year and a day since Chapter 25.
Why would he abandon the project, though?
Maybe he lost steam or got involved in other projects which consumed all his time. There is the understandable fatigue of having twenty more hour long chapters to record and edit.

As I typed that, I realized that I was talking to one of the PH editmen who do that regularly.


Last edited by Scienza on Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by WavemasterRyx on Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:51 pm

Last wrote:
WavemasterRyx wrote: and that's not what games are about, games are supposed to be fun.

That's not entirely true.
Quite honestly I don't know why I bothered to read your message.  I guess I just keep forgetting why I put you on my 'ignore' list.

I still don't know why I bother trying to make comments outside of the chapter commentaries either...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Fri Dec 27, 2013 6:40 pm

Scienza wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:
Scienza wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:
Scienza wrote:Speaking of Scorch, has there been any news regarding the FoE radio play, specifically, the next episode which I'm eagerly awaiting.
I've not heard anything.  Then again, I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter of the audiobook, so...
Same, but I've been forced to accept that it might not ever happen, since it's been exactly a year and a day since Chapter 25.
Why would he abandon the project, though?
Maybe he lost steam or got involved in other projects which consumed all his time. There is the understandable fatigue of having twenty more hour long chapters to record and edit.

As I typed that, I realized that I was talking to one of the PH editmen who do that regularly.
:)

WavemasterRyx wrote:
Last wrote:
WavemasterRyx wrote: and that's not what games are about, games are supposed to be fun.

That's not entirely true.
Quite honestly I don't know why I bothered to read your message.  I guess I just keep forgetting why I put you on my 'ignore' list.

I still don't know why I bother trying to make comments outside of the chapter commentaries either...
I don't really know what this is about, but sorry, WavemasterRyx.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Somber on Fri Dec 27, 2013 7:44 pm

::Hugs Ryx and waves to everypony.:: I'm back home.  Christmas was... Christmas.  I told everyone what I needed and they insisted on buying me stuff instead.  >.<  Anyway... We're going to do some tightening up in book 4 before putting a fork in it.  Working in MDW so she's more fluid rather than an out of left field reveal, and I want to tighten up the end of best night ever.  Any other thoughts where we might tweak elsewhere?  We might not get to them but I like feedback when possible.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Scienza on Fri Dec 27, 2013 7:53 pm

This might have been settled previously, but was "Big Daddy's Four Horses of the Apocalypse" the prototype form of the Top Ten?

Ch. 7 wrote:“He’s a Reaper. If he’s not killing somepony, he’s probably at the Arena.” I looked at my PipBuck… yup. ‘Hoofington Sports Arena’ was now on the map. If I wasn’t wrapped head to hoof in healing bandages I’d be screaming about how. “He’s one of Big Daddy’s Four Horses of the Apocalypse… and yeah. They really do call themselves that.”

They seemed important when they were initially mentioned, but they never returned again and I wasn't sure whether their continued inclusion is significant or not.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Somber on Fri Dec 27, 2013 7:55 pm

An idea that rotted on the vine.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Fri Dec 27, 2013 7:58 pm

Hmm detecting a theme with little errors here...

Ch.37: "They talked about imagining your magic as a breath pushing against a leaf; I was a least not a complete failure at that one."

Incidentally, Bj magic lesson time is best time.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Fri Dec 27, 2013 8:14 pm

Vergil wrote:Hmm detecting a theme with little errors here...

Ch.37: "They talked about imagining your magic as a breath pushing against a leaf; I was a least not a complete failure at that one."

Incidentally, Bj magic lesson time is best time.
Ah, thank you.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by swicked on Fri Dec 27, 2013 8:33 pm

Scienza wrote:This might have been settled previously, but was "Big Daddy's Four Horses of the Apocalypse" the prototype form of the Top Ten?

Ch. 7 wrote:“He’s a Reaper.  If he’s not killing somepony, he’s probably at the Arena.”  I looked at my PipBuck… yup.  ‘Hoofington Sports Arena’ was now on the map.  If I wasn’t wrapped head to hoof in healing bandages I’d be screaming about how.  “He’s one of Big Daddy’s Four Horses of the Apocalypse… and yeah.  They really do call themselves that.”

They seemed important when they were initially mentioned, but they never returned again and I wasn't sure whether their continued inclusion is significant or not.
Probably Rampage, Deus, Gorgon and Bronze.
They were the four monster ponies he had, after all. They ones we knew fought as reapers.
Precious probably refused to fight outside of when Sanguine insisted she had to, and I guess phoenix pony might have done the same.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by WavemasterRyx on Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:08 pm

Somber wrote:::Hugs Ryx and waves to everypony.:: I'm back home.  Christmas was... Christmas.  I told everyone what I needed and they insisted on buying me stuff instead.  >.<  Anyway... We're going to do some tightening up in book 4 before putting a fork in it.  Working in MDW so she's more fluid rather than an out of left field reveal, and I want to tighten up the end of best night ever.  Any other thoughts where we might tweak elsewhere?  We might not get to them but I like feedback when possible.
*hugs back gently* Well I'm glad you were able to make it through the holiday, sir. I do hope the editing goes okay when you get started on it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:27 pm

swicked wrote:
Scienza wrote:This might have been settled previously, but was "Big Daddy's Four Horses of the Apocalypse" the prototype form of the Top Ten?

Ch. 7 wrote:“He’s a Reaper.  If he’s not killing somepony, he’s probably at the Arena.”  I looked at my PipBuck… yup.  ‘Hoofington Sports Arena’ was now on the map.  If I wasn’t wrapped head to hoof in healing bandages I’d be screaming about how.  “He’s one of Big Daddy’s Four Horses of the Apocalypse… and yeah.  They really do call themselves that.”

They seemed important when they were initially mentioned, but they never returned again and I wasn't sure whether their continued inclusion is significant or not.
Probably Rampage, Deus, Gorgon and Bronze.
They were the four monster ponies he had, after all. They ones we knew fought as reapers.
Precious probably refused to fight outside of when Sanguine insisted she had to, and I guess phoenix pony might have done the same.
Bronze? Do you mean the mantipony? She was Brass.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Guest on Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:30 pm

WavemasterRyx wrote:
Last wrote:
WavemasterRyx wrote: and that's not what games are about, games are supposed to be fun.

That's not entirely true.
Quite honestly I don't know why I bothered to read your message.  I guess I just keep forgetting why I put you on my 'ignore' list.

Not sure what I did to deserve that. Nothing I said in that was meant to insult somber or Xcom or PH or whatever it is that offended you there. in fact I went out of my way to explain I didn't read the chapter that whatever you were pointing out was associated with. I plan to at a point it just takes me a few hours to read a chapter (I need to go off and do somehing else (My attention span is way too low.) and I don't have a few hours everyday. Was the comparison offensive? Didn't mean PH was mindless fun like deadrising, just was making a comparison to two completely different games that have in the very basic sense something in common. Fun.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by swicked on Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:37 pm

O. Hinds wrote:Bronze?  Do you mean the mantipony?  She was Brass.
Same diff.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:39 pm

Hm, I think that there may have been a misunderstanding. Last appears to have perceived Ryx as not including good balance in "fun" while Ryx appears to have perceived Last as saying that games were about challenge instead of rather than in service to fun. As far as I can see, at least; hopefully I'm not making things worse.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:44 pm

swicked wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:Bronze?  Do you mean the mantipony?  She was Brass.
Same diff.
...Howso? Even if we weren't discussing people's names, they're different metals.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Downloaded Skill on Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:58 pm

Somber wrote:::Hugs Ryx and waves to everypony.:: I'm back home.  Christmas was... Christmas.  I told everyone what I needed and they insisted on buying me stuff instead.  >.<  Anyway... We're going to do some tightening up in book 4 before putting a fork in it.  Working in MDW so she's more fluid rather than an out of left field reveal, and I want to tighten up the end of best night ever.  Any other thoughts where we might tweak elsewhere?  We might not get to them but I like feedback when possible.

Well there are two things that I remember having issue with when they came up. How Blackjack subdued Deus and that time Rampage got her head cut off but kept moving around.

For the first point Blackjack subdued Deus after a dazzling display of acrobatics that I think was a reference to something,  but she never displayed that much agility before. While I was reading it I was really brought out of the experience because it just seemed too OOC. Blackjack is a lot of things, but graceful never really was one of those things.

For the other I believe it happened when BJ was leaving Maripony post Goddess death. Rampage got her head cut off, but kept moving around. IIRC when she got decapitated earlier against Blueblood she was dead until reanimated. I may have missed something, but I don't think she did that before. Unless I missed something the contradiction with continuity disrupted my immersion during reading.

I do not mean to be negative, but hopefully this is useful feedback.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:08 pm

Bj can be graceful! She just needs whiskey first!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Moodyman90 on Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:38 pm

Blackjack's fight with Deus tank was taken straight from Ghost in the Shell. The movie if I had to be specific since there was a few tv series as well. It was mainly the "break her arms trying to rip the hatch open" part where I got the reference from.

Pretty sure we already covered the whole decapitated Rampage thing. First time she was dropped down a pit after having her head cut off by Blueblood so we never really got to see how much she was able to move afterwards, but I want to say it was decided that she could still move her body after decapitation enough to punch out the Hellhound.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Icy Shake on Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:18 am

I'd bring up Blackjack deciding she didn't care about the family being attacked by zombies in chapter twenty seven, only to immediately and without any external stimulus change her mind. It didn't have any consequences outside of what Blackjack felt and thought about it (and, in fact, if we weren't reading her mind we might well never have known the switch happened in the first place), and she's only thought about it once since then, I think, and that only obliquely, so even from an internal perspective it didn't amount to much.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:59 am

Further issue in 37:

"Then the door opened and Lacunae walked in. Her purple eyes widened at the mess on the table, the girls peeking out at him, Glory and I cuddling, and Rampage kissing the green-banded apple."

I assume the girls are staring at P-21 in the second sentence?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Vergil on Sat Dec 28, 2013 1:45 am

Last bit from 37 I promise:

"Something I'd have to I nip in the bud later."

Also:

"Loaded!" Rampage yelled, immediately sprang back to smashing the scorposprites.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Overlong Analysis Cobalt on Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:15 am

@Wavey, Last
Aye, I think there was a failure in communication here. Last was on a tangent explaining why he thought the joke/metaphor of archangel armor wasn't entirely apt; I think he may have misunderstood the original joke. Wavey, meanwhile, I think you may have missed his misunderstanding and then misinterpreted his words due to that. No reason to get heated, here, not so far as I can tell.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by O. Hinds on Sat Dec 28, 2013 4:56 am

Vergil wrote:Further issue in 37:

"Then the door opened and Lacunae walked in. Her purple eyes widened at the mess on the table, the girls peeking out at him, Glory and I cuddling, and Rampage kissing the green-banded apple."

I assume the girls are staring at P-21 in the second sentence?

Vergil wrote:Last bit from 37 I promise:

"Something I'd have to I nip in the bud later."

Also:

"Loaded!" Rampage yelled, immediately sprang back to smashing the scorposprites.
Ah, thank you.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Guest on Sat Dec 28, 2013 5:05 am

@OAC I'm not upset or heated or anything like that. I'm just confused.

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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

Post by Train Dodger on Sat Dec 28, 2013 6:43 am

Somber wrote:::Hugs Ryx and waves to everypony.:: I'm back home.  Christmas was... Christmas.  I told everyone what I needed and they insisted on buying me stuff instead.  >.<  Anyway... We're going to do some tightening up in book 4 before putting a fork in it.  Working in MDW so she's more fluid rather than an out of left field reveal, and I want to tighten up the end of best night ever.  Any other thoughts where we might tweak elsewhere?  We might not get to them but I like feedback when possible.

Well, here's what I've got:

Some Feedback on Various Chapters (Spoilers):
Chapter 26 - We know from Chapter 23 that she's been chasing the EC-1101 routing points and Ironmare is the next one, but what justification does Blackjack really have for dragging her party into the tunnels under Hoofington, where certain doom awaits? It seems like a wasted opportunity for dissent to break out within her group, especially after what just happened in Stable 99. Their unwavering trust in her judgment is quite misplaced. 

Chapter 33 - I was unable to suspend my disbelief when one of those thugs asked why Blackjack chose to spare them. Think about this from their perspective. If you were some opportunistic wasteland asshole, would you look a gift horse in the mouth? Would you risk the wrath of Blackjack's companions, especially when one of them would love nothing more than to shove sticks of dynamite up your urethra? No. You'd get the hell out of there before she changed her mind.

Chapter 34 - I know Blackjack was attempting suicide-by-Littlepip, but was it really necessary for her to recapitulate every little thing that happened to her up to this point? Seeing Blackjack begging for sympathy gets old real fast. In fact, roughly three out of every five scenes where Blackjack does exactly that could be redacted, and the plot would lose nothing at all. The readers already know all this stuff. They don't need to be beaten over the head with it.

Chapter 36 - How did Scotch Tape know Precious's name? Why is the griffon's name spelled Vermillion with two Ls once and Vermilion the rest of the time? Also, come to think of it, both Kkat and Somber generally use the spelling "griffin", and there are a couple instances in 57 where "griffon" is used instead.

Chapter 42 - Dazzle seems just a tad too supportive, especially considering that Blackjack's actions had effectively lead to the destruction of the Flash Fillies' headquarters a fortnight ago. As a matter of fact, most people seem to offer their condolences at the drop of a hat whenever Blackjack gives them her sob story. For once, I'd like her to repeat that mantra about "doing better" and have someone point out that Hoofington is technically a more dangerous place to live than ever before, what with all-out warfare taking place within the city limits. Blackjack is a very complex character who unfortunately asks for - and receives - a very simple, one-note reaction from too many people. Not every pony should be sympathetic to Blackjack's cause. In fact, some of them should be just plain indifferent, or downright contemptuous. Keeps things interesting that way.

Comments - A lot of folks get on Goldenblood's case for taking credit for everything, but the thing is, people like that have existed in real life. He reminds me of "Wild Bill" Donovan, the General who founded the predecessor organization to the CIA. Both drew vital experience from studying the practices of other cultures firsthand while abroad, later integrating it into their work. Both were blessed with great foresight. Both had their hands (or in GB's case, hooves) in things they ought not to have. Both are implicated in all number of crazy conspiracies, including the assassination of high-ranking figures within their own government.

In Goldenblood's case, it's obvious that there was something going on that was perhaps a little bit beyond his control. Mr. Horse or someone else probably intended Goldenblood to be the fall guy. We still don't know exactly what happened in the Hoofington Museum that night, just before the bombs fell. A black ops squad came out of nowhere and stole a bunch of meteor fragments, which is why the zebras weren't able to retrieve them in the present. And there was a squad trapped in the tunnels that had some kind of important message to pass on. All that probably had something to do with Horizons. I suppose we'll know soon enough what they were up to.

Starmetal really reminds me of Phazon from Metroid Prime, or Scub Coral from Eureka Seven. Sentient, invading meteor shit from outer space that also happens to have useful properties that convince unethical scientists to experiment with it, usually with disastrous results.

I don't mean to sound nitpicky, or anything. It's been good so far. I try to be as constructive and detailed with my analyses as possible, because I actually would like to see this story polished up to a mirror sheen. No matter how crazy it gets, I still think this is very good work.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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