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Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

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Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Scienza on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:36 am

So, I've been working on a fic, and I suddenly realized that my Pinkie Pie is literally nothing like Show-Pinkie. A little OOC is fine, since it's really AU, but Pinkie's ridiculously not-Pinkie. Do any of you talented writemen have any tips and things to remember when writing the bouncy pink demon?
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:37 am

How exactly do you feel your Pinkie isn't Pinkie enough ?
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Scienza on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:40 am

Harmony Ltd. wrote:How exactly do you feel your Pinkie isn't Pinkie enough ?
She's literally not Pinkie, to the extent where you could just change her name and she'd be Rainbow Dash on LSD. Pinkie's mannerisms and personality are really bloody hard to nail down, and I'm failing on it. I know she has a different way of seeing the world and other ponies, but I can't seem to get it right.
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:43 am

Could we see an example of your writing of her ? That'd help pinpoint the advices.
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Scienza on Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:12 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:Could we see an example of your writing of her ? That'd help pinpoint the advices.
Bit of context: Celestia dies banishing Nightmare Moon, Equestria fragments in the resulting power vacuum, Pinkie is pirate.

Really rough:
Twilight Sparkle had done many things with her mentor, but roasting s’mores in the bridge of a downed Hurricane-class Dreadnaught was not one of them. Rainbow Dash wasn’t talking to anyone, she just sat down, cut all communications, and hid behind the visor of her helmet. Pinkie provided the marshmallows, where she had gotten them was anypony’s guess. Her dilated pupils and the thin crusting of salt around her nostrils indicated that she wasn’t all there, but the mare never truly was, so Twilight just accepted it. Pinkie leaned forward, chocolate smeared over half her face.

“So, let me tell you a story. Back in the war, daddy and me and the rest of the family got drafted.” She stood up, miming a stiff military posture, and saluted. “Long live the Republic, Protect the Consul, Remember Dodge Junction and all that stuff. Anywho, the Yankee Doodle Donkey  got pressed into service in the big, stupid fleet that Appleoosa was throwing together. It was the bestest time ever to be a pirate! As long as you hit birdy ships, they didn’t care what you did with them. So, anyway, we  found this ship, hit it from long range, and boarded it. Roasted some turkeys too!” She giggled.

Twilight didn’t find it particularly funny. Rarity just looked faintly sick.

“The soldiers on board must’ve been told to protect the cargo with their lives, opened up with everything they had when went on board. Killed Blinkie and hurt Momma really bad. So, when we finally put’em all down, guess what their precious cargo was?” Pinkie struggled to control her laughter. “Rocks! Just rocks! We all died for rocks. And the funny part is, they fooled everyone. The soldiers must’ve thought they were diamonds or something, and so did Blinkie and Momma and everyone else.” She smiled dreamily. “Sometimes, when you look at what you fight for, you realize they’re all rocks too.”
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:52 pm

You know, it may not be show!Pinkie, but taking into account she had quite a different upbringing, and given what she went through, I'm not shocked at the charaterization you do of her. from that extract, I rather like it actually : Pinkie has always been, let's say, strangely wise in the show, so that would tend to fit with how I see her in that respect, I dunno ?

But anyway, maybe you think you should make a little more bouncy ? More of a party animal ? I don't know if it'd be warranted. Like I said, she had a different upbringing, different life experiences, and from what you described she may even have some post-traumatic disorder, so...
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Scienza on Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:58 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:You know, it may not be show!Pinkie, but taking into account she had quite a different upbringing, and given what she went through, I'm not shocked at the charaterization you do of her. from that extract, I rather like it actually : Pinkie has always been, let's say, strangely wise in the show, so that would tend to fit with how I see her in that respect, I dunno ?

But anyway, maybe you think you should make a little more bouncy ? More of a party animal ? I don't know if it'd be warranted. Like I said, she had a different upbringing, different life experiences, and from what you described she may even have some post-traumatic disorder, so...
Thanks! That's what I was going for. The bouncy and the party animal parts are harder to capture, and I really want to use them somehow, to make the serious bits even more jarring. Pinkie's an enigma, easily the hardest character to write other than Fluttershy.
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Scyto Harmony on Sun Sep 15, 2013 4:47 pm

Yeah, I'm a bit late to the party, but your Pinkie actually sounds pretty good. Try adding Rambling and getting off topic, she likes to do that.
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Harmony Ltd. on Sun Sep 15, 2013 6:00 pm

Off-topic which in fact end up pretty much straight on topic when she get to the end of it, 50% of the time anyway ("And that's how Equestria was made !").
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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by RoboRed on Sun Sep 15, 2013 6:36 pm

Speaking of the subject of "bouncy", my brain tells me that Pinkie is usually being written correctly if I automatically hear that incessant bouncing noise in my head...

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Re: Writing Help: Pinkie Pie

Post by Scienza on Sun Sep 15, 2013 8:37 pm

RoboRed wrote:Speaking of the subject of "bouncy", my brain tells me that Pinkie is usually being written correctly if I automatically hear that incessant bouncing noise in my head...
I could add "sproing" sound effects...
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